“What?” he asked, trying to look innocent about the whole thing.
“You let me stand there and give you shit, and you said nothing,” I said roughly.
“Like you didn't know,” he snapped back. “Stop trying to act so fucking innocent, Cassie.”
“Not until I saw your face on the news, I didn't,” I said. “I felt so stupid.”
He stood there looking at me as if he didn't know what to say next.
“What was I, just another conquest to you?” I hissed, my words filled with disgust. “It all makes sense, all your cocky comments about how great you are and all that Pirate shit spread out around your place.”
A look crossed his face, but it happened so fast that I couldn't catch exactly what it was. Then his jaw tightened and his eyes darkened.
“Doesn't that excite you?” he asked.
“What?” I asked. “No, why would it?”
“Isn't that what you're into, men with money?” he asked.
“Not anymore, and definitely not if he's a baseball player,” I snapped out, feeling like he'd punched me right in the stomach.
I stood there staring eye to eye with him.
“You know what,” I said before yelling. “Fuck you!”
“No, Fuck you!” he yelled back, as he lifted his hand, and I flinched just before it landed in his hair.
His eyes narrowed, and I moved quickly to step around him.
“Move,” I said roughly.
“Cassie,” he said, all the anger gone from his voice.
“Please, Parker,” I said, barely holding on to my emotions.
“What the fuck was that?” he asked. “Why did you just flinch? That's the second time.”
I could feel my body beginning to shake, as I did everything I could to hold back the tears that were fighting to get to the surface.
“I need you to move. I have to get out of here. I need air,” I said, giving him a pleading look. “Please.”
“We're not done with this conversation,” he said, as he stepped aside.
“We are,” I said, as I opened the door and took off for the back door of the building.
I got out the door, and as soon as the air hit me, I turned, my back hit the wall, I slid down it, my face fell into my hands, and I let go, crying the hardest I'd cried yet. I cried because of what Jeff was doing, because of what I was doing to James and Sammie, because of what I was keeping from my grandma and parents, but most of all, because of Parker. He saw me just like they did, all of them.
Chapter 14
Cassie
I had the kids in their own beds for the night and had just crawled into my own when I heard my phone buzz. Something in me knew it was him. When I'd finally found my way back inside earlier that day, he'd already left. Sammie noticed the puffiness in my eyes and the stains, from my tears, on my cheeks, but she didn't ask questions, and I was so glad. I'd been crying so much since I'd gotten to her house, so she probably just added it to me being emotional over Jeff. That was fine by me. There was no way I wanted to add another thing to her list of reasons to judge me.
I tried not to look at my phone, but I couldn't help it. I had to know what it said. He'd seen me flinch, and he'd called me out on it. That wasn't good. What was I supposed to say? He needed to drop it, and I'd do whatever it took to get him to do just that. Everyone already had their thoughts about me. I didn't need them thinking I'd been getting beat by the asshole too. It wasn't like that, but they'd come to their own conclusions anyway.
“I'll just read it,” I said to myself.
Wannabe: Did you really not know?
That was his message. Really? Not I'm sorry. Not what the fuck? Did you really not know? What did it matter to him? Why did he care? Then it hit me like something running into me at full speed. I'd liked him, and I hadn't known. I'd liked him for him. Not what he had or could give me, but for him. He was so damn cocky. There was always something sarcastic coming out of his mouth, but he didn't take my shit. Instead, he gave it right back, and I liked him. I'd never spoken to anyone the way I did Parker, but I couldn't help it, something about him brought it out of me. I couldn't stop the words as they'd slip right off my tongue. The man was infuriating, but I liked him. To me, he was just a normal guy, and I liked him. In that moment, with everything else still weighing down on me, I was happy with myself. I wasn't the same person I'd been before. I was changing. The only problem with my whole realization was that Parker wasn't who I thought, he wasn't just a normal guy. He was a Pirate.
Me: No, I didn't.
Wannabe: I don't get it.
Was it a trap, I wondered?
Me: What don't you get?
Wannabe: What's so wrong with what I do for a living?
I didn't answer, but he didn't let it go. Of course he didn't. He probably wasn't used to not getting his way.
Wannabe: You need to explain.
Me: No, I don't.
Wannabe: I'm sorry for earlier. I know you have shit in your past too.
Me: Sure do.
Wannabe: You didn't like what I said, did you?
Seriously? Did he really think I would, I wondered?
Me: Of course I didn't.
Wannabe: I didn't like what you said either.
Me: What?
Wannabe: I didn't do a damn thing for you to think that way or say that shit to me, not one thing, but you judged me anyway. It doesn't feel good, does it?
Me: It's not the same.
Wannabe: Oh really? So it's okay for you to judge me off the behavior of other players. Do you know how many professional players there are? Do you have any idea how many of them don't behave that way? Of course you don't. That part doesn't matter, does it? Instead, you just jump to whatever conclusion you want, and that's okay with you. However, I'm not supposed to judge you by what you're brother has ever said or how you've acted in the past. If you knew anything about my past, you wouldn't be saying it's not the same.
His past, I thought. What did he mean? I was so close to asking him, but I couldn't do it. I erased the words I was typing and typed new ones.
Me: I have to think ahead, Parker. I need to get through the shit storm that's headed my way. I can't allow myself to get distracted. The thought of you being who you are is a huge distraction, one I can't deal with right now. It's not your fault. It's mine.
Wannabe: Seriously! It's not you, it's me. Come on, Cassie.
Me: I'm sorry, Parker. I really am.
My life was a mess, and he was much better off not being a part of it, especially since it sounded like he had his own shit storm to deal with. The worst part of it all was that I liked the guy, I liked him a lot.
Chapter 15
Cassie
The next two days flew by. I spent them in my room with the kids. I'd brought some toys in for them. We played with them and watched television. Jillian even came in to hang out with us a bit. We went downstairs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then we went right back up again. Beside at the table, I really didn't talk to anyone.
Lauren tried to talk to me, but I let her know I wasn't happy with her. She'd set me up. She assured me he wasn't going to be there that day, and she'd lied. She'd told his ass to be there too. When she tried to ask me why I was being so damn stubborn, I asked why she even cared. If he was such a great guy, why wasn't she with him? Not that I didn't want her with Lance, they were the perfect couple. I was just trying to prove a point.
Parker had messaged me a few times. I wanted so badly to read them, but I didn't. It took all I had to delete them without seeing what it was he had to say. I could have blocked his number, but I didn't. I guess it would have meant he'd be gone for good, and part of me liked thinking he was still there. It was wrong, but like I said, I was a mess.
James had been spending every moment at Lance and Lauren's new house. They'd wanted to be moved in by Christmas, but it wasn't happening. They still had a few more days worth of things to do.
Sammie had been running aro
und like a chicken with her head cut off, and there was no way I was getting in her way. The woman was something else.
Christmas eve night came, and I decided to let the kids sleep in my room. I hadn't worked up the nerve to ask James for money, and he hadn't mentioned it either. I'd be asking him for more than enough before long. There was no way I was asking for present money too. The kids would be fine. I'd make it up to them somehow. They were better off where they were than where they'd need to be just so they could have presents under the tree. Seeing their little faces smiling each day was enough to tell me that I'd made the right decision. I'd deal with what I had to so they could be happy, and they were so damn happy right where they were.
Morning came, and I heard a tiny knock on my door. Then I heard it slowly open. Jillian quietly popped her head through, and I couldn't help but laugh. She was adorable.
“Get in here,” I said.
Her eyes lit up, and she came running for my bed. She launched herself up and landed with a smack.
“It's Christmas,” she said. “Mommy said to tell you breakfast is ready.”
I looked at her happy face and couldn't help but wrap my arms around her. She was so amazing, and I'd missed out on the first years of her life. Not anymore, I thought. I'd be there anytime she needed me. I was going to be her favorite aunt. That wouldn't be an easy task to achieve either. Lauren was pretty awesome, but I was up for the challenge. I pulled her closer and began tickling her. She was laughing hysterically when the door opened even wider and Jackson walked in. He watched us with a smile on his face, and I couldn't help but laugh again.
“Come on,” I said. “The more the merrier.”
Jenny and Jeff had woken up, and within seconds, we were all laughing together.
“We better get back down there,” I said. “I wouldn't want them to have to send up a search party.”
The kids all took off ahead of me. I got the baby out of his bed and headed down the stairs, but what I saw wasn't what I expected. There were tons of gifts under the tree, and none of them had been opened. There weren't bags for luggage around the room or clothes piled on the couch. Sammie wasn't running around like crazy, trying to get everything ready for them to leave. Instead, she was in the kitchen, in her pajamas, cooking pancakes. What the heck was she doing, I wondered? They had to be in Michigan before dinner, and she was in no hurry. That wasn't like her at all. She put the last plate on the table and sat down next to James. Lauren and Lance were both dressed and ready to go. It was like they'd changed places with my brother and his wife. Maybe Sammie had packed the night before and I'd missed it, I thought. She must have done it while I was in my room with the kids.
After breakfast, Jillian went into the living room to play and asked if Jenny and Jeff could go with her. James looked over at me with concern in his eyes. It was Christmas, I thought. They were all getting ready to leave, and I knew my kids would miss them. What's the harm in playing for a bit? Could we really get in the way?
“Sure,” I said. “I'll come out there too.”
I walked into the living room and looked under the tree. Why hadn't they opened their gifts? Did they have some new tradition where they had to wait? Growing up, neither of our families waited. We all ran down the stairs as fast as we could, no matter what house we were at, and tore into the presents. Sammie always got baseball stuff. James did too, but thinking back, he never seemed as excited about it as Sammie. I'd get my normal girly stuff. We'd watch cartoons and eat all day. It was so much fun.
As I sat down on the couch, my mind went to Parker. It shouldn't have, but it did. Had he gone home to see his parents? Would he be seeing his kids? Was he alone? Would he be eating out like he did for Thanksgiving? Would they even be open? What would he do?
The doorbell rang, pulling me from my thoughts of him and back to reality. I looked around, but the other four adults were still in the kitchen, and the kids couldn't be bothered. It was just Lance and Lucy. They were going to Michigan too and were probably coming over so they could all leave together. I got up, walked over, and pulled the door open, before turning to walk away.
“Hey guys,” I yelled back from over my shoulder, as I began walking back toward the living room.
Then I heard a voice that stopped me in my tracks.
“Cassandra,” I heard my grandma snap. “I told you it was her.”
I took a deep breath and slowly turned around to see the three people I'd missed most but had been trying so damn hard to avoid, and I lost it.
Out of My League, Part 3
Chapter 1
Cassie
Before I knew it, my grandma had her arms wrapped around me, and I felt my body relax against hers.
“I can't believe it's really you,” she said, as she tightened her hold on me.
When she pulled back from our hug, I couldn't stop the tears as they began to fall.
“What's wrong?” she asked.
“I'm just so happy to see you,” I answered honestly.
As much as I didn't want to have to tell them that I'd failed at life, I'd never been so happy to see their faces.
“This is unbelievable,” I heard my dad say, as he pulled me toward him. “My baby girl is here. Where's Jeff?”
The rough tone in his voice gave his dislike away. I'd heard that same tone when he'd said Jeff's name before, but it had never bothered me, not like it was then.
“He's not here,” I said, and I watched as his shoulders visibly relaxed.
Had Jeff really bothered him that much, I wondered? How could I have put him through that? How could I have walked away from them all?
My dad hugged me tighter than he ever had before. When he pulled away, the tears were sliding down my face, and I couldn't stop them.
“Why are you crying?” he asked, in a deep tone.
“I just can't believe you're here,” I said, as I thought about everything I knew was going to come out in the open very soon.
“Let me see my girl, Scott,” my mom snapped, as she pushed my dad aside and wrapped her arms around me. “I've missed you so much.”
I heard someone walk up behind me, so I pulled out of my mom's arms. When I turned, I saw Sammie and James standing there. He had a nervous look on his face, and her face was filled with guilt. She was the one behind it all, I could tell.
“How could you?” I mouthed, from where the three behind me couldn't see.
“I wasn't going to let you be alone for the holiday,” she said, as she shrugged her shoulders slightly. “It's time.”
“Time for what?” my mom asked, from behind me, and every bit of relief I'd felt when my grandma wrapped me in her arms instantly disappeared.
“What's all the commotion?” Lance asked, as he walked in through the still open front door. “Shit!”
“Lance,” grandma snapped, before bursting into laughter and turning toward him. “Get your ass over here and hug me.”
We all turned our attention to Lance and Lucy, who was just walking in behind him. The moment my eyes connected with his, I saw relief cover his face.
“Now that we've got all that out in the open,” he said with a nod.
“Dad,” I heard Sammie whisper, and I looked over to see her shaking her head.
Lance went on, totally oblivious to what was really happening.
“It's been killing me knowing that I've been helping them keep a secret from you, Mom.”
“Dad,” Sammie whispered again, but he just kept going.
“Now that you finally know she's here, we can move on. I'm so damn glad she left that asshole. I'm not happy about the way it happened, but what can you do? That fucker's lucky he's still walking. I offered to beat his ass, but she wouldn't let me.”
“Lance,” Lucy said from next to him, as she looked around at all of the rest of our faces.
Did he stop? Not a chance.
“Have you seen your boy yet?” Lance asked, as he looked at my dad, who I could tell was holding in more anger than I'd e
ver seen from him before.
“Who?” my dad asked through clenched teeth.
“Lance,” I began, but didn't get to finish.
“Your new grandson?” Lance asked, cutting me off and looking around as if we were all crazy.
The rumble that left my dad came from deep in his chest.
“Shit!” Lance said roughly, as he looked around, before his eyes connected with mine again. “They didn't know.”
I shook my head, as I stared him down.
“Fuck, Cassie,” he said. “I'm sorry.”
I heard my dad take in a huge breath. Then I heard it slowly leave him.
“Are you telling me,” he began.
“Look,” I snapped out, cutting him off before he had the chance to turn to Lance. “I'm the only one to blame for any of this. You'll never know how sorry I am. Not only did I mess up my life, but I messed up all of their lives as well. Can we please have one day? All I want is for everyone to have a nice Christmas. Tomorrow morning, I'll put it all out there. I will tell you everything. I'm going to go to my room with the kids.”
“Your room,” my dad barked out. “Bullshit! I haven't seen my daughter and her kids in a long damn time. The only place you'll be going is into that living room for the rest of the day. I don't know why you're here, but I'm damn glad you are. What's this shit about me having another grandson, Cassandra?”
I turned, walked by Sammie and James, making sure to give them both dirty looks along the way, and walked into the living room. When I walked back to where my parents and grandma were standing, I had the baby in my arms.
“This is Jake,” I said, as I looked between the three of them, “your grandson.”
Before long, tears began to slip from my mom's eyes.
“We didn't even know you were pregnant,” she said, as she walked up to me and took the baby tightly into her arms.
“Grandpa,” I heard Jenny, as she ran to my dad and looked up at him.
Two seconds later, Jeff was there, and my dad was scooping them both up and hugging them so damn tight.
He looked at them both before looking back at me.
Out of My League: Complete Box Set Page 18