Mirko held me in silence. I tried to imagine how we were going to solve this Jelena problem when I had an idea. I cleared my mind and let it tiptoe over Mirko’s. He was strong, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to breach him easily. I glided over his mind to try to find his weak spot instead. I searched for the same sensation I’d had when I found Lijepa’s opening.
I tried to regulate my breathing, so Mirko would think I was asleep and not feel me when I found his weak spot. I wandered for a few minutes, but when I found it, I was gentle in my approach.
And it worked. I was inside. His pathways were networked in ways that Zack’s weren’t, but I also sensed different streams among them: dignity, honor, honesty. I experienced these qualities in my dealings with Mirko, so it was nice to know that they were genuine. His mind was a lot more pleasant to be inside than Zack’s.
I roamed deeper, and stumbled upon a section that concerned me. Lijepa was right. His feelings for me went way beyond being attracted to me or wanting to get into my pants. The pathways surrounding his feelings for me were empty, and I wondered if he ever felt this way for anyone else. I decided to see if I could find out, so I moseyed a little deeper.
I startled when I saw an undertone of darkness in one of the corners. I moved in a way that could be compared to a flinch, but within my mind, and then I was shoved out of his and locked out.
“That is unacceptable,” he barked, pulling slightly away from me. I felt the biting chill as air came between us.
“I was only trying to see if I could. And where does the darkness come from? What’s that about?”
“You shouldn’t have even been in there. If you weren’t new to all of this, I would have killed you for it.”
“No. You wouldn’t have. I saw how much you care for me.” I unfolded my arms and draped my left arm over him, pulling him back to me. He didn’t resist.
“I could have. Anyone else and I would have. It’s warranted with something like that. Had you done it to someone else, they could have killed you for it. Don’t ever do it again, unless you are sure you would win in a fight.” His tone altered from anger to concern.
“All right. I promise, but tell me about the darkness.”
He sighed, and his breath fluffed the hairs on my forehead. “I’m not used to telling someone else these intimate details about myself.”
“Well, you’ve seen me at my worst, and it’s not like I’ll judge you.”
“Right. Because you only see yourself in the harshest light and everyone else’s wrongs can be explained away,” he said.
I kneaded into his back with my knuckles. “Tell me. Please?”
He lay silent for a moment before he spoke. “I already told you how I was Jelena’s slave. Let’s just say she wasn’t a good property owner, and I’m not too pleased with the things I did for her, either.”
I rubbed his back. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You had no choice.”
“You always have a choice.” His voice stern in his belief. “I could have died fighting for what was right, but instead I was weak and allowed her to break me.”
I pulled him closer to me. He lifted his arm and wrapped it over mine, tucking my head into the crook of his neck with the palm of his hand. I tilted my face up so I could speak. “Had you done so, I wouldn’t have met you, and I would probably be dead right now.”
He lifted his head in what I thought might have been an effort to look at me. Then his hand grasped my chin and lifted my face toward his. His lips were warm, but his mouth was warmer. His movements were slower and more controlled than they were the last time we kissed, but they remained as intense.
Mirko didn’t try to progress things any further, which I was glad for. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough this time to stop things from going at least a little bit further than kissing.
He pulled away from me and cupped my head, stroking my outer ear lobe with his thumb. “Please choose me,” he pleaded.
I grunted and began to pull away.
“No,” he said, clutching me to him. “You’re right. I said I’d give you time to figure it out. I won’t push you.” He turned so he lay more on his back and slid his hand up, guiding my head down to lay on his chest.
“I wish I could be with you and be done with all of these conflicting emotions. I really do care for you, you know, with all your voodoo magic and all.”
His chest rumbled with his laughter.
“But I can’t choose yet.”
“I know,” Mirko said, stroking my chilled hair. “I’m not going to push you, but I won’t back down. You wanna make out, we’ll make out. If you allow me to hold you, I’m going to hold you. And don’t think I’ll hide my feelings for you in front of Jaren. He brought it on himself by pushing you away, so if he doesn’t like it, it’s his own fault.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to prod him. I swear some of the stuff you said at The Base was to piss him off.”
He laughed, “Or to make you squirm. You’re cute when you do. I couldn’t help it.”
I snorted. “You’re a brat.”
We were quiet for a moment before Mirko asked, “What if he decides he wants you back?” He didn’t sound scared when he asked it, more as if he wanted to know where I stood.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I wouldn’t jump right back in with him, though. It’s messy, so that’s all I can say.”
Seriously considering who I should be with brought up a bunch of questions. “What about me being with you? Are there rules against that like there are with humans being with Pijawikas?”
“Yes, but it’s not the same. Sure, Pijawikas say that we’re not supposed to, but it happens more often with us than it does with humans and Pijawikas. Plus, we’re already looked down upon, so it’s more of the attitude that it’s expected than it is a fall from grace. Also, if I answered to only one Pijawika, and depending on who it was, it could be bad, but I’m more of a free agent, I guess you’d call it.”
“So, what is it that you do? I mean, when you’re not trying to keep me alive?”
He chuckled. “I hire out to whomever needs me. Sometimes it’s to the commission, or to Pijawikas, or the Društvo. As long as they can pay, and I agree to the work, I’ll do it. But at least now, I get to choose who I work for.”
I smiled. “That’s good.”
“It is. You should try to get some sleep. We’re going to have to hike all over this mountain to get back, so get some rest.”
I snuggled in closer and relaxed. His heartbeat was a lullaby that eased me enough I could doze off. Despite our predicament, I fell asleep feeling comfortable and safe.
24
I Don’t Give Second Chances
Mirko woke me with a warm kiss to my cold forehead. “Slatki, we need to get going.”
A stream of light allowed me to see the cave more clearly than I had last night. It was huge and had tunnels everywhere. I hoped Mirko would be able to get us out of here. “Did you sleep at all?” I asked, sitting up. Oh, it was cold.
“No, but I’m rested.”
I grabbed my shoes. “They’re still wet,” I said, scrunching my nose.
“It will be uncomfortable, but better than nothing.” He grabbed his shoes and began to put them on.
I dusted my socks off and tried to straighten them out. I pulled the first one over my toes and sucked in a deep breath at the bitter cold.
I didn’t hesitate with the other one. It was similar to ripping off a Band-Aid. The faster, the better.
Mirko stood. “You can have the blanket again. You ready?”
I rose and stood on my toes to stretch the fold in my shoes that had become stiff from the water. “Let’s get this over with.” I was also getting anxious to see Lijepa.
He came over to me and hugged me. “We’re going to run most of the time because we came a long way, and it’s cold.” He kissed me on the lips, then pulled away with a grin on his face. “For the road,” he explained.
He grabbed my hand, t
urned around, and started to lead us out.
“You know where you’re going?” I looked at the maze that loomed before us.
“Do you doubt me?” Mirko asked, with a cocky smirk.
“I wouldn’t be able to do it. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Fine. If I get us out of here, I get you booty shorts and you wear them to our next training,” he proposed with devious amusement.
I punched his arm. “You wish. And you better get us out of here. I need to make sure that Lijepa’s okay.”
His eyes grew dark. “She better be.” He picked up the pace. We went left, then right, and made a whole bunch of other turns I couldn’t keep up with until we got to the opening we crawled through last night.
Mirko dropped to his knees and crawled out. I handed him the blanket through the hole, and crawled toward the light. The sun shone bright enough to hurt my eyes, but it was still so frigid. Mirko wrapped me in the blanket when I stood, and then we took off.
We ran until I could tell that we were getting close to Lijepa’s cottage. It always seemed like the trip back was quicker than the trip away.
I ran faster and passed Mirko. He grabbed my waist. “No, we can’t go running up there. We need to scope the place out and make sure no one is lingering behind to snatch you.”
Good point, but it still took some self-control not to bound off after Lijepa.
We crouched low and stepped with light foot falls as we approached the cottage. We wound around the hill to enter the property from the side. And that was when my nose crinkled with the smell of burnt rubber.
I dropped the blanket and ran the rest of the way down the hill. “Lijepa! Lijepa!”
“Shhh,” Mirko hissed at me. He grabbed me from behind, but I pushed him off. I cleared the trees and saw our truck on the other side. The tires were flat, and it had been set on fire, but only the driver’s side from what I could see from this angle.
The door to the cottage sat wide open, and lingering smoke wafted out toward the sky. Fury boiled within me. Something terrible happened here.
“Lijepa!” I screamed and leaped through the front entry. I slid to a stop in shock. All of her furniture and decorations that had been placed with such precision and care had either been broken or burned. There wasn’t any evidence the fire had licked up the walls, so I knew this was all Jelena’s handy work. “Lijepa!”
Mirko halted behind me. He grabbed my shoulders and motioned for me to go outside.
“No.” I shrugged him off and glared at him. “This was because of me. I better damn well see it!”
“You don’t need to see it,” Mirko said, using an authoritative voice with me. “At least stay right here.”
I didn’t respond. I clenched my jaw and turned around, stomping toward the kitchen. “Lijepa,” I hollered. I reached the kitchen then dropped to my knees. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.”
“Shit,” Mirko said.
Lijepa was there. Her prone body lay on the cold floor among the ash and debris. Her beautiful, unmarred face had been burned to a crisp, with not even a blister on her neck. I reached out to touch her, but couldn’t stand the thought that her skin might feel cold, so I withdrew my hand. My stomach turned, and my mouth flooded with saliva. I bent to the side and vomited. Tears streamed down my face as my stomach clenched on each spew.
Within moments I’d expelled everything and began to dry heave. When the reflex abated, I sat down on my heels and wiped at my mouth, tears spurring down my cheeks.
“What the...?” Mirko said, but I wasn’t really paying attention to him.
I had caused this. Lijepa died an evil, terrible death because of me, and I couldn’t even muster the courage to touch the hand that had been so gentle with me.
It’s because I was a coward that this happened to her. No more. I reached out and clutched her hand. “Oh, Lijepa.” It was cold. I brought it to my chest and fell forward over her waist and sobbed. The pain cut so deep, like a sharp knife immersed in acid, plunged and twisted into my heart, filleting any life that fought to come forth.
“Brooke,” Mirko said. I ignored him. He grabbed me by my shoulder. “You need to see this.”
I tried to shrug him off. I wanted to lie down and die next to Lijepa.
He pulled my shoulder harder and stuck something in front of my face. “Read it,” he demanded.
I whimpered the same way a child does after they have cried too long and inhaled a ragged breath. I wiped my eyes, trying to clear them enough to make out the words. The tears kept coming. It took me a minute before I could finally read the fine calligraphy.
Brooke,
I left you a present, just in case you thought I wasn’t serious before. The same comes to those who aid you in defying me. I am weary of chasing after you. You will come to me this time. If not, your family and anyone that you have ever loved, known, or passed by on the street will die a much more excruciating death than poor Lijepa did.
I don’t give second chances.
Aunty Jelena
“It was stuck to the frame here,” Mirko said, pointing to the wall, “with this.” He stuck out the knife Lijepa had used to cut up our pie last night.
I dropped the letter. “Aunty Jelena?”
He nodded. “She’s Zladislov’s sister.”
Betrayal fought with anger inside me. “How could you not tell me?”
He didn’t even look regretful. “Would it have made any difference? You weren’t close to her. Your father’s not close with her. You don’t even know her.”
“It doesn’t matter. The fact remains that it’s a pretty big piece of information, and you hid it from me,” I growled. Now, I was furious. “Did Lijepa know as well?”
“Yes, but it would have stunted your growth. Our goal was the opposite.”
I closed my eyes. Everyone. Everyone had now lied to me. Except for Kaitlynn. I stood. I couldn’t do anything more here for Lijepa. My opportunity to help her had passed.
“I need to get to Kaitlynn.” I stepped on Jelena’s note because I didn’t have the energy or care to step over it. I walked through the living room, toward the door. My wet sneakers crunched against pieces of porcelain and burnt wood.
Mirko trailed behind me. “Wait. Let me go see if I can find the sat phone.”
I snubbed him and kept walking. I walked down the steps and down the dirt road in front of the cottage. Mirko hadn’t grabbed me, or come after me, and I didn’t care to find out why. My mind was set on one thing. Kaitlynn. I would hitchhike and force the first person I came across to take me there.
I made it all the way to the main road before Mirko reached me. “We’re going to have to catch a ride back.”
I didn’t look at him.
He stepped in front of me, halting me. “Look Slatki, don’t you dare give me this attitude. I have risked my life for you and your friends, and I won’t put up with it.”
I pierced him with my gaze. “You. Lied. To. Me.”
“I did, and I did it for your own good. If you’d known Jelena was your aunt, you would have used it for more ammunition to hate yourself. ‘Oh, I’m such a monster.’ You would have been more determined to hide away and let everyone else take care of the bad guy.”
He was mocking me.
I clenched my jaw. “Didn’t I come to you and tell you the other night that I wanted to go after Jelena myself? And don’t lie to me because I know I did.”
He grunted. “Yes, but that was only after Lijepa had shown you that you weren’t a monster and you had opened up a little bit to your powers. You think you would have had the balls to even consider going after her when you were in your scared, denial state? I don’t think so.”
“I’m on my way to Kaitlynn. You can follow or not. I don’t care.” I stepped around him and onto the asphalt.
He spoke to my back, “I’m coming, but you better start appreciating that your precious little Kaitlynn is safe right now because Ace has been taking care of her. At my base. Becaus
e I ordered him to. Chew on that with all your other crap.” And he stepped around me, hiking down the road, his back to me.
25
I Intend to Keep You
Mirko flagged a car coming down the mountain with a young couple driving it, but when they stopped, I stepped in front of him to use my Sanjam. I did it to make a point—I could do things myself.
Mirko grinned at me. But once we got in the car and it came time to direct them, I remembered that I’d been asleep the last time I left The Base; and the time before that, it had been dark. I couldn’t remember how to get back.
Mirko had to take over their minds from there. I was glad he didn’t rub it in when he did so. He did smirk before I gave them to him, though.
The roads were clear on our way to The Base, but it still took us almost an hour to get there. When we pulled up to the gates, Mirko instructed the couple, and they left. He walked up to the small security building and grabbed keys to the Hummer parked beside it. “I’ll have someone bring it back,” he told the guy. The guy opened the gates, and Mirko drove us to the barracks.
I hopped out of the Hummer before Mirko killed the engine. I took the steps two at a time and ran down the hall. “Kaitlynn,” I yelled. I fled up the stairs and made it to our hall before I yelled again, “Kaitlynn.”
She came out of our room. “Brooke?”
I slowed down before I plowed into her. I wrapped my arms around her and cried on her shoulder. She pulled away enough to look at me, “What’s going on? What are you doing back already?” She grabbed me and steered me into our room, then shut the door.
Three seconds later, there was a knock on the door, and Jaren peeked in. “Brooke? Are you all right?” He sounded worried.
“Yeah,” I said, wiping at my eyes. “Can I talk to Kaitlynn for a bit?” He looked slighted, so I added, “I’ll talk to you in a minute, okay?”
He nodded and closed the door behind him.
I reached down and snatched and yanked at my shoelaces to get my feet out of the soggy socks. As soon as I did, I realized I didn’t have a stitch of clothing to my name right now. Everything had been left behind at Lijepa’s. “Can I borrow a pair of socks?” I asked, my bottom lip quivering.
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