Franco jumped out of his seat and glared at Rosalie with skepticism and doubt. He couldn’t fathom what he was hearing. He grabbed Rosalie’s arm, pulled her up from her seat, and roughly walked her out of the apartment and down the stairs toward the cellar door. Rosalie now became frightened of not only the voices in the cellar, but of Franco’s rage. He never treated her so harshly. She tried desperately to pull away from him, but his grip was too strong for her. She begged Franco to let her arm go so she could run back upstairs, but he was determined to get her down that cellar. He was determined to prove to Rosalie that there are no voices calling out to her. He was determined to put a stop to this once and for all. Rosalie never saw Franco in such a crazed state. He was driven by madness. A madness she created. Rosalie sadly acknowledged that Franco had reached his breaking point and is now totally unreasonable and totally unapproachable.
…She sobbed as Franco continued dragging her along. It was like he was possessed. He had no reaction to Rosalie’s fear. Rosalie screamed, “You’re hurting my arm Franco! What’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this? How could you treat me this way?” Franco just kept oddly silent and made his way over to the cellar door, still keeping a firm grip on Rosalie’s arm. He abruptly stopped in front of the door, turned to Rosalie, and said, “We are going through this cellar door together Rosalie, and down those cellar steps! We are not turning back! You are not turning back! You are going to get your new sneakers Rosalie and you will stop this craziness! Do you understand me Rosalie? I am going to prove to you that nothing and no one is down that cellar; and then - I don’t want to hear another word about this absurdity ever again Rosalie!” Franco released Rosalie’s arm, yet still held her hostage with his stare. She couldn’t believe the manner in which Franco was treating her. This was not her Franco. He was giving up on her, and on them.
…Rosalie continued to sob uncontrollably. She felt so traumatized and so alone. She felt victimized at the hands of the man she loved. Unfortunately, Franco made up his mind and he was not going to give in to Rosalie’s sobs. He held no compassion for her. That was evident by his body language and his words. He was being unnaturally cruel. Franco was at the end of his rope, and his coldness spoke out loudly to Rosalie. He wanted Rosalie to know how he felt, and she certainly did at this point. He made it clear to Rosalie that she is destroying their relationship and he had no more patience for it…Rosalie screamed out in her own defense, “I am not destroying our relationship Franco! You have it all wrong! It’s those voices that are destroying us Franco and you refuse to understand this! You are leaving me out on a limb to deal with this alone because you choose not to believe me! I told you something is very wrong in this house! Why won’t you listen to what I’m saying and help me figure this out? Is this what love is all about Franco? I don’t think so!”
Franco replied, with little regard for Rosalie’s feelings, that those voices are coming from her imagination, from her own head, and she needs to come to terms with that and call her psychiatrist to get a handle on this problem immediately, before it gets completely out of control. He stressed that his response to all of this has nothing to do with love or the lack thereof, but all to do with her mental state which needs to be addressed. Franco firmly stated that this is a serious problem and love isn’t going to make it go away. Rosalie yelled back at Franco that he is abandoning her at a time when she needs him the most. She demanded he listen and listen good, because those voices are not in her imagination. They’re real, she stressed, despite the fact that she can’t explain them. Franco, quite upset, then asked, “Why don’t I ever hear those voices Rosalie? Why can’t I hear them now?” Rosalie looked up into Franco’s resentful eyes and bitterly responded, “I don’t know Franco, this is what I am trying to figure out, but you’re turning your back on me now! This has been a nightmare for me! Don’t you realize I’ve been questioning myself and my own sanity too. But it’s not fair to me, to you, or to us Franco. Deep down in my soul I know those voices are not in my head, although I go back and forth with that idea, always questioning myself…Are the voices real? Where are they coming from? Are they in my head? Is the house haunted? - Well let me tell you something Franco, I don’t have any answers right now. One thing I do know is that I am going to find out what’s going on before I allow anyone to judge me and then crucify me. That includes you Franco. So you are either with me or against me. As I see it now, you are against me, finding it pretty darn easy to turn your back on me.” Franco replied with a hint of compassion this time, promising that he was not turning his back on Rosalie. He admitted that he just can’t take much more of this. It is affecting every aspect of their lives together. He said there is no peace in their relationship lately; there is no more fun, no humor, no laughter, no happy or loving moments anymore – nothing. He added that there is always a dark cloud hanging overhead, even when they’re trying hard to smile. He said everything is dying. He’s dying. He doesn’t even recognize who he is. He told Rosalie that these “voices” are bringing the worst out in him and he can’t let this continue. He doesn’t like what this is turning him into, and the feeling of having no real control over it is devastating. Franco commented that he feels like he is in a constant state of mourning. Mourning for the blissful life he and Rosalie once shared, mourning for the love that may be lost. Franco added that he and Rosalie share little or no intimacy anymore. Even their meals are constantly interrupted by anger and fear; and all he has left to cling to is loneliness and the loss of their once-great relationship. He stressed that he’s the one feeling abandoned by Rosalie and she, being so wrapped up in this torment, just doesn’t understand how all of this is affecting him. Her refusal to get help is beyond his comprehension. This is eating him up alive.
Rosalie didn’t know how to respond to Franco. She surely felt a deep sorrow for the pain he is going through, for the pain she may be causing him; however, the fact of the matter is that Rosalie’s issue with the “voices” does exist, and Franco should be treating her more like the woman he claims to love than a “crazy woman” who lives in denial. He should be moving through his own pain while making an effort to help Rosalie move through hers. Instead, it seems Franco has chosen to doubt Rosalie, hindering their efforts to resolve the problem, hindering their efforts to discover the truth behind those voices. She has lost his trust and his support, and that is something she finds so heartbreaking to take. That is something she finds so hurtful. Where does she go from here? Rosalie grew desperate to make Franco understand. She needed him to understand. Without him, she just won’t survive this ordeal. She ached for his support and was determined to get it. Her life depended upon it.
…After a few moments of silence between them, Rosalie expressed to Franco that, despite the frustration and the bad feelings they are experiencing right now, she needs his support on this until she figures out what’s going on. She further explained that without his support, she will be destroyed. Her life will be over. She begged Franco to work with her on this, stating that if he truly loved her he would give her the benefit of the doubt and allow her to vindicate herself. Franco just shook his head and said, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore Rosalie.” Rosalie, clearly hurt and clearly upset, took her hand and did something she never thought she could. She slapped Franco extremely hard, right across his face. He was shocked by this, but not as shocked as she was. Rosalie couldn’t believe she slapped him. Franco put his hand on his cheek where Rosalie had slapped him and disappointedly said, “Look at what this is doing to us Rosalie.” Rosalie just fell to the ground near the cellar door and put her face in her hands and cried. Franco fell down beside her and said, “I do love you Rosalie, we just can’t go on like this.” Rosalie agreed. With tear-stained cheeks, she looked over at Franco, grabbed his hand and whispered, “I’m so sorry I slapped you. I can’t believe I did that. Forgive me, please. I love you too Franco. I have no explanation about what’s going on. Please just trust me and give me some time. Let me do things my w
ay. I’m not crazy Franco. You can see that, can’t you?” Franco looked deep into Rosalie’s teary green eyes and said apprehensively, “I don’t know what’s going on either Rosalie; but no, I don’t think you’re crazy, but something is happening to you that I just can’t explain. Whatever it is Rosalie, it’s killing us day by day…I’ll try to be patient with you a little longer Rosalie, but don’t expect miracles. This is eating at me. You have to acknowledge that somewhere along the line you just may have to call in Dr. Whitman. This may be something that needs professional attention Rosalie. Whatever it is, it may need Dr. Whitman’s expertise.” Still holding on to Franco’s hand, Rosalie sadly nodded in agreement. However, she felt so grateful that she was able to buy herself a little more time with Franco. She felt sure that she would eventually be able to provide an explanation behind those voices and prove to him that her mental state is intact.
Rosalie then requested that Franco please escort her down to the cellar so she could look for her new sneakers. She smiled at Franco and promised him that she would go willingly this time, and that there would be no need for him to have to drag her along. She claimed that she was ready to do this no matter what. Whether it was to appease Franco or to prove something to herself, she knew they had to do this and do it now. Franco, ever so gently, held Rosalie’s hand and guided her through the door and down the cellar steps.
…So once again there they stood in the middle of the dusty old cellar, taking in the musty odor and feeling the relentless wind from the cellar drafts upon their cheeks. Franco diligently studied Rosalie’s face, wanting desperately to figure out the complexity of her thoughts and feelings at this moment. He was afraid to ask, so he continued to watch pensively for any signs of hope – or even despair. Something. Anything that would give him a clue as to Rosalie’s current mental state. To Franco’s surprise, Rosalie looked around the cellar without a trace of anxiety or fear, at least from what he could tell, and calmly walked over to a shopping bag which held the box that contained Rosalie’s new sneakers. She removed the box from the bag, walked over to Franco and showed him her new sneakers. Franco was stunned that Rosalie didn’t wait until they both returned to the apartment before she showed him the sneakers. He couldn’t imagine her wanting to spend any more time down that cellar than she had to. Unable to actually pay much attention to the sneakers at this point, Franco just looked at Rosalie and said, “They’re nice Rosalie.” Then without a moment to spare, Franco demanded, “What’s going on here Rosalie? All of a sudden you exude a crazy calmness. You’re scaring me now Rosalie. We’re in the cellar Rosalie. The cellar that frightens the heck out of you. What’s happening here?” Rosalie quickly replied, “Be happy for me Franco. I am frightened as hell all the time; but not hearing the voices right now at this very moment in this lousy cellar, and having you stand beside me, has given me a bit of courage Franco and some short-lived peace. Allow me this bit of peace and harmony for a little while. Please. I need to do this one day at a time Franco...one step at a time.” Rosalie then proceeded to make her way up the wooden staircase to the hallway, with Franco right behind. Franco, in silent bewilderment, closed the cellar door behind them and continued to follow Rosalie up to the apartment, equally glad now for this short-lived peace that Rosalie just spoke of. At this point Franco felt whatever moment of peace they can both share may actually be a step forward for them. So Franco decided to let the issue go for now in hopes that they could have a normal evening together, order some take out, reconnect – even if for one evening, and simply make love without that unwavering dark cloud over their heads; and that’s exactly how the evening went. Yes, just one day at a time; one step at a time.
CHAPTER SIX – MARIA PAYS A VISIT
…Rosalie was up early this morning happily prancing about the kitchen, cooking sunny-sides up with bacon, and making a strong pot of espresso while Franco was still asleep. Rosalie knew the breakfast aromas would make their way into the bedroom and arouse Franco from a deep sleep. He had a good nose for food, something that made Rosalie chuckle. However, Rosalie was at odds with herself this morning, knowing full well that this newfound happiness is just a fantasy for both she and Franco. They shared a wonderful evening last night. An evening of fun and an evening of love. It was peaceful and happy and reminiscent of the terrific evenings they’ve shared in the past. Rosalie was well aware, however, that once the voices start up again, then making love in the evening, laughing in each other’s arms and getting high on breakfast aromas will be just memories of a life she and Franco once shared. It will never last forever as they once thought. Not with the torment they are living through now. Deep in her heart, Rosalie sees that Franco is hanging on by a thread for only one reason, and that is the fact that they’ve shared a great history together. Will that be enough to save them? Only time will tell.
…and there he was…Standing in the doorway where the bedroom meets the kitchen, leaning up against the wood frame, squinting his eyes and fighting off the relentless glare of the fluorescent kitchen light. He rubbed his eyes with both hands, then walked barefoot to the kitchen table following the aromas of coffee, eggs and crispy bacon. His pajama legs dragged across the kitchen floor, picking up a bit of dust with every step - a common scenario in their household whenever the breakfast aromas pulled Franco from his bed to the kitchen, before he could even attempt to put on his slippers. Rosalie turned and eyed Franco from head to toe, then back up again, shaking her head with a slight grin as if she were looking at a little boy. Franco knew exactly what Rosalie was thinking, so he just pushed up his pajama legs, wiped some dust from the bottom hem with his bare hands, walked to the bedroom to get his slippers, then came back out to take a seat at the kitchen table, patiently awaiting breakfast. He had a smirk on his face that only brought laughter to both he and Rosalie. Franco was like a child sometimes, and Rosalie loved looking after him. Another thought that caused Rosalie’s heart to ache a bit more if she ever lost Franco.
…They both sat down to breakfast, with the radio playing softly in the background, dipping their sliced bread into their sunny-sides up, sipping espresso, and chewing on crispy bacon in silence. After ten or fifteen minutes, Franco looked up from his plate and said, “Thank you for breakfast Rosalie. I enjoyed that. We had a really nice night too Rosalie.” Rosalie just smiled and nodded graciously, then rose from her seat and began to clear the table. Franco took a few more sips of espresso then headed towards the bathroom to shower. Rosalie felt the bouts of uncomfortable silence between them cutting into her like a knife. Simple conversation did not come easily anymore. She knew Franco felt it too, as they both tried to hide it from each other by hanging onto the little bit of happiness they shared from last night. It seemed to Rosalie that they were just playing house now, going through the motions, pretending to be happy lovers and friends, and keeping this facade up until such time when it will wear out its welcome. Distracted by her thoughts, Rosalie continued to clear off the table and wash the breakfast dishes, wishing all that was happening was just a bad dream.
…Then unexpectedly, the doorbell rang! Rosalie was caught off guard since it was still early morning. “Who could that be?” she thought. Franco had just come out of the shower wrapped in an oversized towel when he asked, “Was that the bell Rosalie? I think that’s Maria. She called my cell phone yesterday to let us know that she was on her way back from Europe already, that she only needed to spend a little over a day there and she planned on being back in New York very late last night. She said she’d stop by this morning to see us. I forgot to mention this to you earlier. Sorry Rosalie. I’ll go down and open the door.” Rosalie, somewhat stunned, grabbed Franco’s arm and exclaimed, “I’ll get the door Franco! You can’t go down there like that wrapped in only a towel!” Franco looked down at himself and just laughed in agreement. He then went into the bedroom to get dressed and get ready for work. Rosalie proceeded to go down the stairs in annoyance at the fact that Maria, once again, decided to phone Franco directly about her
return from Europe and about her visit this morning, instead of calling Rosalie. Now Rosalie was quite upset with both Maria and Franco. After all, Rosalie thought to herself, Franco knew from the last time how Rosalie felt about Maria calling him instead of her. Rosalie planned on taking this up with the both of them here and now. So with her head up high, a stiff upper lip, and a shot of confidence, Rosalie opened the door to greet Maria.
Maria stood at the front door with a huge smile upon her dark red lips and a large shopping bag hanging from her left arm. She extended her right hand to meet Rosalie’s hand, but Rosalie kept both hands by her side and did not respond to Maria’s gesture. Maria then tried to lean in and kiss Rosalie hello but, to Maria’s surprise, Rosalie backed away. Maria seemed puzzled and unaware of what was going on with Rosalie. Rosalie greeted Maria with a half-baked smile and a cold silence, letting her know in no uncertain terms that she was not happy right now. Maria was obviously taken aback by Rosalie’s reaction to her. …Standing there bewildered and red-faced from embarrassment, which is quite rare for Maria, she stared into Rosalie’s eyes and asked, “Didn’t you know I was coming this morning? Is there a problem Rosalie? Did I disturb you? – Well? Aren’t you going to ask me in or do you want me to stand here in the hallway?” Rosalie, clearly perturbed, responded, “Come on up Maria. I wasn’t expecting you this morning. Franco forgot to tell me that you called him to let him know you were back from Europe and planning to visit us this morning…did you hear that Maria? You let Franco know. Why not me Maria? - and back from Europe so soon? That was a super-short trip.”
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