Voices

by Phyllis P. Colucci

  Millie admitted that maybe out of guilt she always gave Maria the money she asked for, feeling that it was the least she could do for her sister Eve’s daughter, and her only niece. Millie continued that Maria was part of the reason Millie did not want to move to North Carolina with her own daughter and her daughter’s family. She feared that if she did move, Maria would find her and turn Millie’s life and her daughter’s life upside down. Millie did not want her daughter to ever meet her cousin because she feared Maria’s wrath and mental issues were too dangerous. Millie did not want her daughter and her daughter’s family subjected to Maria. At Millie’s request and urging, Maria never tried to contact Millie’s daughter. Millie warned Maria that if she ever tried to contact her daughter, then the money would stop. It seemed that Maria needed that money more than she needed or wanted a relationship with her cousin. So Maria agreed to abide by Millie’s request. Millie added that if Maria had contacted her daughter against Millie’s wishes, well then her daughter would have found out the truth about the family secrets that were hidden from her for many years, and they would all have had to deal with Maria at that point. Millie further stressed that, as circumstances would have it, the truth has come to light now and she will tell her daughter all about her aunt Eve and her cousin Maria once she is out of the hospital. “Everything in life has its time and place Rosalie,” she said.

  Millie then gazed sadly over at Rosalie and commented that possibly Maria didn’t tell Rosalie the truth about her life because she felt hurt and embarrassed by it all, or maybe she preferred to block it out. This information is not something a person would want to share with even their closest friend. Millie then speculated that perhaps Maria was afraid of herself and her own behaviors and feared the truth would destroy the friendship she shared with Rosalie. She then added that maybe Maria wanted Rosalie to think she came from a good family, similar to Rosalie’s upbringing, especially since they grew up together and knew each other’s families. There was no way of telling what Maria was truly feeling. One thing was for sure – Maria was suffering behind that bubbly personality she often displayed. Millie thought also that it seemed Maria wanted to place her biological family as far away from her as she possibly could, ignoring their existence. She had to hide the family secret of mental illness before it destroyed her life and her relationships. Millie further stressed to Rosalie that she was always watching from the sidelines, however, to ensure Maria couldn’t hurt Rosalie in any way; and she believes Rosalie knew that from the many conversations they shared about Maria. Rosalie nodded as she gently stroked Millie’s hair to let Millie know that she was fully aware of Millie’s support and protection. Millie then made it perfectly clear to Rosalie that she had made a promise to Rosalie’s mom as well, to continue to watch and protect Rosalie from Maria, if need be; and she kept that promise to the best of her ability. Rosalie continued stroking Millie’s gray hair as Millie admitted that Rosalie’s mom allowed Rosalie and Maria to remain the close friends that they were, but only through the watchful eyes of Rosalie’s mom too while she was alive. Millie insisted to Rosalie that she and Rosalie’s mom were quite the protectors and quite a force to be reckoned with…Rosalie, Michael and Millie all shared a laugh over Millie’s sense of humor.

  …after a long sip of warm juice from the plastic cup that was sitting on Millie’s food tray, Millie cleared her throat then talked about the death of her sister Eve. She explained that when she told Maria that her mother had passed away in the psychiatric facility, Maria had no emotion about it at all. It seemed all Maria felt was hate for Millie’s sister Eve, her own mother who was forced to give her up for adoption at a young age. Maria never cared to visit Eve over the years, nor did she care to even ask Millie about her. As far as Maria was concerned, Eve was already dead to her. Millie always saw the pain in Maria’s eyes, but she also saw the coldness in her heart. Millie further explained how she tried to make Maria understand that although her mother was mentally ill and unable to care for her, her mother truly loved her in her own special way. Maria didn’t want to hear it. She felt hurt and she felt abandoned, and nothing Millie said to her could change those feelings. Maria responded to Millie by blurting out only one response - and that was, “I hope she rots in hell.” That was the end of that conversation and Maria never mentioned her mother again.

  Rosalie shook her head back and forth and said, “Poor Maria was a very disturbed girl Millie. A very sick girl. A twisted girl, yet a very lonely girl. My God, I never saw it Millie. My heart aches for her. She was a victim too Millie. A victim of mental illness.” Rosalie explained to Millie that, sadly, Maria is currently in a psychiatric facility, and that Franco accompanied her there last night after a difficult confrontation with Maria at the apartment. Rosalie did not want to go into detail over this but promised she would tell Millie all about it at another time when Millie is stronger. Millie, however, wanted to know more. Rosalie clearly said, “No Millie. Not now.” She added that Millie had enough on her plate and that all Millie should know right now is that Maria is where she needs to be and will no longer be a threat to herself or anyone else.

  After a minute of silence and deep thought, Millie rationalized that it’s quite understandable that Maria would end up in a mental facility herself. She stressed that Maria was her sister’s daughter and, unfortunately, inherited mental illness while carrying all of this pain and animosity around with her as she entered into her adult life. Millie uttered, “Poor child, may God watch over her. We need to forgive her now.” She added that Maria lived life with a broken heart and a broken mind; full of rage, full of hate, full of sadness and full of hurt. She felt betrayed and abandoned by her biological family and most likely internalized those feelings so much so that she blew up like a time bomb. Millie then commented, “That’s probably why she was so fixated on Franco and your relationship Rosalie. Not only was Maria a mentally unstable girl, but she was also a lonely and heartbroken girl and wanted what you had Rosalie in order to survive. She wanted love, she wanted security, she wanted a happy life dear Rosalie. I’m so sorry dear. I truly wanted to spare you these horrible details. I was hoping you would never have to know. I know your mother would have felt the same way if she were here with us. Bless her soul…In hindsight dear, I can’t help but think that maybe we should have been honest with you all along. Maybe we could have prevented things from getting to this point. Maybe then we could have done more to help Maria and more to protect you Rosalie. Maybe staying quiet about Maria was the wrong thing to do. Just watching and not acting, proved to be detrimental today. So many people have suffered.” Rosalie patted Millie’s hand gently and said, “Shhhh. No ‘maybes’ Millie. No regrets. No guilt. You said yourself everything in life has its time and place. It was just time for things to come out now the way they did. So hush my dear Millie. You did your best, and I not only respect you Millie but I adore you for it.” Millie just looked away, trying so hard to hide the tears that filled up in her sad but beautiful eyes.

  Michael, who remained pretty much silent through all of this, got up from his chair and held Millie in his arms. Whispering in her ear he said, “Thank you Millie. I know how hard this was for you. Thank you for telling Rosalie what she needed to know. You’re a good woman Millie. We may all be able to move on with our lives now.” Michael then turned to look over at Rosalie but noticed that she was standing right behind him and he hadn’t realized it. She had heard everything he whispered to Millie. Rosalie kissed his cheek and then kissed Millie’s forehead; expressing how grateful she was for Millie’s honest account of Millie’s family secrets and the truth about Maria. Millie cried in Rosalie’s arms. Rosalie comforted Millie by holding her tightly, while Michael comforted both Rosalie and Millie by stretching his long, strong arms around the two of them. Together they shared a private moment of love, comfort and truth.

  …After a few moments, a nurse walked into Millie’s hospital room to check her vitals. It seemed Millie was actually doing very well. The nurse t
urned to Rosalie and Michael and said, “She is a strong lady…and the sweetest patient ever.” Rosalie smiled at the nurse and responded, “God Bless her and that’s why we love her…and God Bless you for taking such good care of her.” The nurse nodded appreciatively, then proceeded to walk out of the room. With a warm look upon her face, she turned back to look over at Millie and blew her a kiss. Millie raised her frail hand to her lips and blew a kiss right back to her.

  …Rosalie noticed that Millie looked very tired. She was struggling to keep her eyes open. So Rosalie signaled to Michael that it was time for them to leave. As they both approached Millie’s bed to say their good-byes, Millie graciously thanked them for their visit and for the love and compassion they showed her after learning the secrets about Maria and her family, which Millie had hidden for many years. Rosalie expressed to Millie that the truth has set them free now and she and Michael are both very grateful for Millie’s courage. She added that this was exactly the right time for Millie’s story to come out. Rosalie said, “Everything happens for the best Millie, and now it’s time for you to rest your head on your pillow and have a peaceful sleep. No more secrets. No more worries. Pleasant dreams Millie. We love you.”

  Millie held both Rosalie’s and Michael’s hands and said that she loved them too. She made Michael promise that he would take very good care of Rosalie, her special girl, and love her forever. She then asked Rosalie to promise to do the same for Michael. Millie then offered some wonderful words of wisdom in a way that only Millie can convey. She sweetly said, “When all else fails in life, you will learn that love will carry you through. Believe in love dear children, and believe in each other.”

  Rosalie and Michael smiled at one another and happily nodded to Millie. They would always cherish Millie’s wise words. Rosalie then told Millie that she and Michael will be sure to see her before she leaves for North Carolina with her daughter and the family. She stressed to Millie, however, that it’s so important for Millie to take this time now to be alone with her daughter so she can reveal the truth to her about the secrets in Millie’s family. Rosalie said, “Please let go of this burden now Millie. You’ve held onto it for a lifetime and you owe it to your daughter, and to yourself, to do that. Bury those darn secrets so you can all move on my beautiful Millie. Do this as soon as you get out of the hospital. Tell your daughter about Maria and your sister Eve. You said you would. I’m counting on you to do it…for me, for Michael, for you and for your wonderful family.” Millie agreed with a slight quiver upon her lips. Rosalie then stated that after all is said and done, Millie must take comfort in the company of her daughter, son-in-law and two beautiful granddaughters in order to fully recuperate. Millie promised that she would let her daughter and her family take care of her now. Rosalie smiled and said, “Thank you Millie. Michael and I want the best for you…and remember, this is not good-bye, it’s we’ll be in touch.” With a precious smile upon her lips, a twinkle in her aging eyes, and dried tears upon her pale cheeks, Millie soon fell off to sleep.

  Rosalie and Michael left the hospital hand in hand and mentally exhausted, yet happily enlightened by Millie’s revelation. They needed to walk off their heavy emotions, however, so they headed over to Rosalie’s house on foot. Once there, Rosalie packed an outfit for another overnight stay at Michael’s apartment. On their way to Michael’s home, they stopped by the liquor store to purchase a bottle of merlot then over to the pizza shop for a large chicken cutlet pizza; which they planned on sharing with sweet and patient little Edgar.

  …Finally, it was home at last, safe and sound in Michael’s apartment…Rosalie and Michael feasted on chicken cutlet pizza and smooth merlot wine, as Edgar eagerly sat himself under the kitchen table waiting for his slice. Michael tossed Edgar a crunchy piece of pizza crust in order to hold him over until Michael could chop up a full slice of pizza to place in Edgar’s food dish. Edgar was salivating, the pizza crust just wasn’t doing it for him; and Michael couldn’t chop Edgar’s slice fast enough. Edgar loved chicken, and he especially loved extra tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese with his pizza. The aromas alone were making Edgar antsy. Knowing that, Rosalie scraped the excess sauce and cheese from inside the pizza box and placed it in Edgar’s dish. Edgar ran to his food bowl with tail wagging and tongue hanging, immersing himself in the gourmet dinner that was set before him.

  Michael poured more wine for both he and Rosalie as they continued to munch on chicken cutlet pizza. The wine just seemed to go down so well for them this evening, having a calming effect on their mentally-overworked minds and their physically tired bodies, while also helping them recover from their most interesting visit with Millie today. After dinner, Michael and Rosalie took Edgar out for his much needed walk, hoping he would do his thing rather quickly so they could rush back home and relax for the night. Edgar had other plans in mind, however. He wanted to take the long way around the neighborhood in order to walk off his pizza dinner which was still settling in his little stomach. So Edgar took the lead while Michael and Rosalie patiently followed behind. He pulled and tugged on his leash while stopping at every tree and every fire hydrant along the way so he could mark his territory. He sniffed and dripped for blocks. Soon enough Edgar found his way back home, and they all entered the apartment ready to call it a night.

  …Rosalie, deep in thought from all that Millie had revealed, however, really wanted to talk some more. Poor Michael, on the other hand, clearly too tired to speak, threw himself down on one end of the sofa as Rosalie plopped herself down at the other end. Michael tried to stay awake, while Rosalie tried to get her words out. She suddenly broke from her thoughts by loudly calling out Michael’s name. She called out to him twice since Michael kept closing his eyes. He was fighting off sleep for Rosalie’s sake, knowing she wanted to talk and he truly needed to listen; but he was losing that battle with each passing second…Rosalie yelled out again, “Michael! Please try to keep your eyes open. Listen to me now…I want to talk to you!” So Michael listened as best he could with tired, red eyes and sleepy ears.

  Rosalie continued, “I can’t help but think about Ms. Jacqueline Price. You know that famous psychic I told you about who walked through my cellar looking for spiritual clues to the voices I was hearing, only to find nothing, not even close to sinister going on down there?” Michael nodded, still fighting off sleep, yet listening well as Rosalie spoke…She then stated, “I just can’t believe Maria was the one who recommended Ms. Price to do that walk-through for me, knowing all along she, herself, was the one behind those voices. How sick is that Michael? It’s true. This is how she set her plan to destroy me in motion. I know we both agree on that. Franco just couldn’t see this. Maria approached this as the friend who would save the day for me, coming as ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’. She obtained Ms. Price’s services through her boss at the department store who had media connections through their Public Relations Department. She really went all out to make this happen Michael. As it turned out though, Ms. Price actually said my parents were coming through with a warning about someone close to me trying to destroy my life and my relationship with Franco. Could Ms. Price have been right about that? Do you think my parents were trying to warn me about Maria? - Oh Michael, I’m sorry. I know I mentioned this to you before, and you don’t have the answers either. I just don’t know what to think. Help me here…Looking back though, I recall that this sure didn’t sit right with Maria that day. It wasn’t part of her plan.”

  After a long pause as he was trying to comprehend the conversation through his tiredness, Michael replied, “Again Rosalie, I don’t know if Ms. Price received any messages from your parents down that cellar or if your parents came forward to warn you about Maria. I don’t understand much about that Rosalie and I’m not sure I believe in all of that spirit world stuff. Maybe your parents were watching over you and maybe they did come through to Ms. Price. We won’t really know for sure, would we? All I do know for sure is that Maria is a sick person and she eventually revealed hers
elf to us. It was bound to happen. Her plan could only go so far. I’d like to think your parents, through the grace of God, guided you to where you are today and helped you discover the truth Rosalie. That’s all you need to know. Say a prayer for your parents and we’ll both thank them with a visit to the cemetery soon. I think that’s what you need to do in order to put this behind you. ”

  Rosalie got up from her seat on the sofa and threw her arms around Michael’s neck. She kissed his head and told him that she loved him for always being the perfect gentleman and always saying the right thing, the most logical thing. Rosalie added that she would be honored to have Michael accompany her to the cemetery one day soon, and she knows her parents will bless their union from above.

  Michael gently grabbed Rosalie and pulled her down onto his lap. He began stroking her long brown hair with his masculine touch then kissed her waiting lips with a passion they both became accustomed to. A passion that belonged only to them. As Edgar pranced off to sleep, Rosalie and Michael quickly cleaned up the remnants from tonight’s dinner, then retired to Michael’s bedroom where they made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms.