by Helen Lacey
She clapped humorlessly. “Wow, an apology…I’m impressed. I bet saying that was like eating a lemon.”
Marshall tried to ignore her sarcasm. And failed. “Is it so hard to try and be civil, Holly?”
Her eyes widened dramatically. “Civil?” Her hands landed on her hips. “Civil?” She said again, harder. “You truly are unbelievable.”
He shrugged loosely. “So, I’m not perfect. I’m the thoughtless, selfish bastard you’ve accused me of being. Now that’s settled, we can move on.”
She glared at him. “We certainly can. You can start by leaving.”
Marshall sucked in a sharp breath. “This doesn’t have to be hard, Holly. And we should at least try and get along for the baby’s sake.”
Her eyes glittered brilliantly and her shoulders were tight. She looked tired, he thought. Which made sense, considering she was having a baby. My baby. When the words entered his head Marshall’s gaze immediately moved to her belly. Still flat. But it wouldn’t be long before there was a bump there. His palm burned with the sudden urge to place his hand on her stomach, even though logically he knew it was too soon to feel the baby moving. His head suddenly hurt thinking about the next seven and half months.
“You’re right,” he heard her say. “We should try and get along. But not right now. Not yet. I need some time to get used to this whole situation.”
So did he. Marshall nodded and managed a tight smile. “Okay, I’ll go. But I’ll call you soon.”
One brow arched dramatically. “I wasn’t sure you knew my number.”
He accepted the dig. “I know it. Goodnight, Holly. I’ll see myself out.”
“Goodbye.”
As he walked out of the house and headed toward his truck, Marshall knew his life was now irrevocably changed.
*****
When Holly arrived at work the following morning she did her best to act chirpy and as though she had it all together. But she knew Faith, the admin assistant and part-time groomer, wasn’t fooled. She liked the other woman and they had become good friends over the past six months. But she wasn’t in the mood for any kind of heart to heart with her friend.
However, that didn’t stop Sam from cornering her in the surgical room just before lunch as she was sterilizing instruments. Holly kept her attention on her task and continued cleaning as he hovered.
“Um…so, Holly…how’s everything?”
She dragged in a deep breath and turned. Sam stood by the examination table, hands resting loosely in the pockets of his white coat. She knew this was coming today and knew they had to talk. Sam Beckett was her boss and now she was pregnant there were considerations that needed to be made regarding the work she could and would do. The fact he was also one of Marshall’s friends made her complete honesty even more important.
“I’m pretty sure you know how everything is.”
He shrugged and nodded. “Yeah…Marshall told me,” he said and his gaze dropped to her belly for a second. “Congratulations. Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes,” she replied. “Not a lot of morning sickness so far, but it’s early days yet.”
He nodded again and withdrew a narrow envelope from his pocket. “Good. This is for you.”
Holly stared at the envelope and unease flittered down her spine. Official looking documents were never a good thing. “Are you firing me?”
Sam frowned and then quickly laughed. “God, no…it’s a safety plan for you,” he explained as she took the envelope. “You know, about lifting and steering clear of X-Ray, that kind of thing. Just precautionary and a requirement of employment.”
She relaxed and sighed. Typical Sam. Always thinking about others. She had the fleeting thought that she should have fallen for a man like him rather than his no-good, uncaring friend. But she’d never thought about him in that way, despite the fact he was handsome and smart and likable and would be considered something of a catch in Mulhany Crossing or anywhere else, for the matter.
Whereas Marshall was like the anti-catch. Widowed, reclusive and clearly still in love with his dead wife. A part of her almost admired his loyalty. Almost. Because the other part of her resented the fact he hadn’t moved on enough to open himself up to the possibility of a relationship with someone else. As fabulous as the sex had been, Holly couldn’t help feeling as though he’d made love to her almost against his will.
“Thank you,” she said and managed a tight smile. “I appreciate your support. And I’ll try not to let this affect my work.”
Sam’s expression softened. “Holly, you’re having a baby. That means change…for you and for…” He paused and smiled fractionally. “For everyone else. He’s a good guy,” Sam said, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. “You know that, right?”
Holly stayed silent. She didn’t want to get into a heart to heart with Sam about his friend. She just wanted to resent Marshall in private. End of story. That way she wouldn’t have to admit she had any feelings, either way.
But Sam kept talking. “He loved Lynette a lot…they were like this perfect couple.”
The perfect couple.
Holly wanted to cover her ears and not hear any more. Instead, she managed a tight smile, nodded and concentrated on her task.
But Sam continued talking. “We’ve all been friends a long time…you know, the gang of us. That’s me and Nate, Marshall and Lynette, and Levi and his twin sister Lana. So I know Marshall pretty well. It’s just that while the rest of us were screwing up relationships, they seemed like the only two who were getting it right.” He gave her an earnest look. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sure he’ll do the right thing by you and the baby, Holly…that’s his way.”
The right thing.
Whatever that was. Holly had no idea. “Sure,” she said vaguely, sorting instruments into their containers. She wanted to put her hands over her ears and block out the conversation. She knew about the gang. Friend’s for life, all of them. As close as family and always at the ready to have one another’s back. Mulhany Crossing was a small town and it was easy to find out about someone else’s business. The day she’d first clapped eyes on Marshall at the saddlery, she’d asked Sam about him when she’d got to work that afternoon. She’d been working at the practice for a couple of weeks and had developed an easy rapport with her boss. So, casually asking if Marshall Harris was available, seemed innocuous enough. Sam had told her he was thirty-seven, widowed and one of his closest friends. Then he’d winked at her like he found her interest highly amusing and pretty soon Holly figured out why. Because Marshall might be single, but he was about as available as the stars around some distant planet.
Sam lingered for a few seconds, then obviously realized she’d heard enough about his friend being a great guy, because he muttered something about a patient waiting and left the room. Once she was alone, Holly took a deep breath and decided she wouldn’t spare Marshall Harris another thought for the rest of the day.
Which of course she didn’t do.
Every time she thought about the baby she was carrying, her thoughts inevitably shifted to her child’s father. She wasn’t unhappy about the baby. In fact, once the shock had waned she was actually looking forward to being a mother. And she’d be a good one. Better than her own had ever been. Ann Berrigan had run off when Holly was six years old and she hadn’t seen her mother since. It had broken her father’s heart and turned him to stone. Fortunately she’d had her two older half-brothers growing up. Alistair and Ben were her rocks and the best siblings a girl could have. They supported her unconditionally and loved her dearly. But they wouldn’t, she knew, be happy about her current situation. Neither would her father, come to that. Colin Berrigan might not be father of the year, but he wouldn’t be pleased that his youngest child and only daughter was about to have a baby out of wedlock. Her dad was still stuck in the last century and had old fashioned ideas about propriety. Even though she’d told Marshall her father would be cool about the whole thing, she knew he wou
ld be disappointed.
Too late to worry about that now, she thought and patted her still flat belly.
She worked until three, taking a short lunch break in the middle of the day. Sam didn’t broach the subject of his friend again and she was pleased she didn’t have to make any more small talk. Before she headed home, Holly stopped off at the supermarket and picked up a few staples for the refrigerator. By the time she got home it was after five and she quickly stripped off and took a shower. By six she’d dried her hair and changed into comfy sweats and was about to head to the kitchen to toss together a tuna salad when the doorbell rang.
She walked down the hall and opened the door. Before she had an opportunity to speak a large bunch of flowers wrapped in cellophane was thrust in front of her face.
And behind the flowers Marshall Harris stood on her doorstep.
Chapter Three
“Flowers?”
Marshall waited patiently for Holly to take the bouquet from his hand. But she didn’t. The sappiness he’d felt as he’d walked to her door quickly increased ten-fold. He lowered the flowers a little and met her gaze. She was glaring at him, her look kind of incredulous and irritated at the same time.
Discomfort crept up his back and he shrugged lightly. “A peace offering.”
For a moment he thought she was going to tell him to go straight to hell. There was enough flame in her eyes to start a bonfire. But she didn’t, which surprised him. Instead, she reached out and grabbed the flowers and then brought them to her nose, inhaling deeply.
“They’re lovely,” she said. “Thank you.”
Marshall shifted on his feet. “So…how are you?”
“Since yesterday?” Both her brows rose. “About the same.”
“That’s good,” he said and swallowed hard, not sure if it was good or not and suddenly feeling about sixteen years old. Being on a woman’s doorstep with flowers wasn’t something he was used to. Lynette had been a practical woman who’d preferred her rose bushes to the store bought variety wrapped in paper and ribbons. But he liked the notion that he’d got something right with Holly, however minor. He shifted on his feet and managed a tight smile. He didn’t want to be at war with Holly. Not when they had a child coming.
A baby.
A child.
I’m gonna be a dad…
Marshall’s knees suddenly turned weak and he grabbed the doorframe. Holly stepped forward immediately and clutched his arm. It was the first time they’d touched since that night and he felt the print of her fingers like a brand through the cotton shirt he wore. He didn’t want to feel it. Didn’t want to acknowledge it. Didn’t want to think that he was more aware of Holly, more attracted to Holly than he had been to any woman before. It would mean being disloyal to Lynette. And that was…unthinkable.
“Are you okay?” Holly asked, frowning. “You look as though you’re going to pass out.”
Marshall took a long breath and nodded. “I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night. I’ll be okay.”
She was still frowning. “You should probably come inside and sit down for a minute.”
He wasn’t sure that was such a good idea. But he had dropped by so they could talk. He just didn’t want to do that with his head between his knees because he was suddenly strung out by the idea that he was going to be a father.
By the time they got inside and he was sitting on the old sofa in her living room, the churning in his guts and his weakened knees had abated a little. He sucked in a deep breath and looked at her from where she sat opposite.
“I’m sorry for the way I behaved last night,” he said quietly.
Her eyes widened momentarily, then narrowed, as though she was trying to work out the motive behind his words. But there was no motive. He’d behaved like a horses-ass and she was right to be mad with him.
“Sure,” she said and shrugged.
“I mean it, Holly,” he said earnestly. “I’m not usually so…I mean, most of the time I don’t overreact or say things that are insensitive or—”
“I know,” she said quickly, cutting him off. “Your friend Sam spent ten minutes telling me what a great guy you are today.”
That sounded like Sam. “He’s right,” Marshall said and grinned a little.
Holly’s arched brows rose dramatically. “You’re an idiot.”
“Yeah,” he said and sighed. “I’m that too. But I am genuinely sorry for yesterday. The last thing you need right now is me acting like an insensitive jerk.”
She looked at him, her expression unreadable. There was something about Holly that affected him on a kind of primal level. It wasn’t just a physical thing. Sure, he thought she was beautiful and sexy and the lower half of his anatomy generally did the thinking when she was close…but there was something else…something more…something deeper.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “You’re forgiven.”
Relief pitched inside his chest. “So…is there anything you need?”
“No.”
Even if she did, he suspected she wouldn’t say so. “I’ll be here for you Holly. I’m not going to walk away from this.”
She shrugged. “Sure.”
The silence was quickly deafening. She didn’t believe him. And he knew she had every reason to doubt his sincerity. Marshall got to his feet and propped his hands on his hips. “I get it, Holly…you don’t believe you can rely on me. I guess after the way we left things after that night it’s—”
“We?” she queried, cutting him off.
“Okay,” he said, getting her point immediately. “The way I left things,” he corrected. “I wasn’t thinking straight after what happened and then time had passed and I…” His words trailed off. “I was stupid and thoughtless, okay? I should have called you, instead of behaving as though it didn’t mean anything.”
She remained rigid. “You apologized last night,” she reminded him. “And let’s be honest, Marshall…it didn’t mean anything. Not to you. Not to me. Only now, it means everything, because I’m having a baby and we’re tied to one another for the rest of our lives. So, I get that you’re freaked out, okay. Me too. Only, I don’t want to keep rehashing this same old song.” She was glaring at him, eyes ablaze. “We had a one night stand and I got pregnant. It happens. Maybe I wasn’t expecting that it would happen to me…but it did. So, you can get back to your life and stop thinking you have to do something…because you don’t. When the baby comes you can be as involved as you wish to be. I believe that every child deserves the opportunity to have two parents and I want my baby to have a father. But that’s all this is. You don’t need to stop by, you don’t need to ask how I’m doing and you certainly don’t need to bring me flowers.”
It was quite a speech and from anyone else he would have believed it. But not from Holly. She was saying what she thought he wanted to hear. A way out. An escape clause. A chance to stand on the perimeter of the experience without feeling like he’d been dragged into it by the ankles. He knew her. Marshall wasn’t sure how. Maybe it was instinct mixed with the crazy chemistry they shared. Or maybe it was that she’d done a lot of talking that night they’d spent together and he’d been able to read between the lines when she spoke of her family and her hopes and dreams for the future. She had two older brothers and an overbearing father and a mother who’d run out when she was a child. She’d had one serious relationship from her technical college days and had been on two dates with a local schoolteacher since she’d arrived in Mulhany Crossing. She was independent and self-sufficient. And her little speech was her way of telling him he wasn’t needed…at all.
But Marshall wasn’t about to be excluded from the most important thing that had ever happened to him…he planned on being around. A lot.
“Would you like to go out for dinner?”
She looked at him incredulously. “Dinner? Are you serious?”
“Perfectly.”
Her beautiful mouth thinned. “No.”
“Or we could order in,” he s
uggested. “The ribs at Ruby’s are good. Or maybe pizza.” He pulled his phone from his pocket. “So, which is it?”
She continued to stare at him. “Neither. Go home, Marshall.”
“You don’t like anchovies, right?” he asked, remembering she’d mentioned that fact the night of the rodeo. “Me either.” He ignored her protest and called for a pizza and when he was done he slipped the phone back into his pocket and returned his attention to Holly. She was watching him, all eyes and suspicion. “Everything okay?” he asked casually.
“You’re impossible,” she huffed. “I’m not going to eat dinner with you.”
“Sure you are,” he countered. “We need to talk some more and I would prefer to do that with a full stomach. And I’d like coffee, if it’s not too much trouble.”
She glared at him and for one crazy second he thought he’d never seen her look more beautiful. Or angry. He bit back a smile. She had a lot of energy. A lot of spunk. He liked that about her. It was no sweet wonder that he hadn’t been able to resist her the night of the rodeo. She’d looked incredible in a short denim dress and fringed hot-pink cowboy boots. Everything about her affected him. And it felt like weakness. She made him weak. And the feeling was the driving force behind his reticence toward her. And his bad behavior.
He followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the small table. Marshall watched as Holly made coffee for him and tea for herself and she bit on her lower lip. She did that when she was mad. Funny, he thought, how he’d come to know things about her, despite their short acquaintance.
She brought the drinks to the table and stepped back, crossing her arms. “Anything else?”
Marshall managed a smile and gestured to the chair opposite. “We could talk.”