by Vivian Ward
“You can try to force me into this relationship all you want, Blake Adams, but it’s not gonna work. Trust me on this one.”
“Trust you? Oh, it will work! You’re going to fake it all the way to the altar, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming. We’re going to be a family.”
“Marry you? Ha! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard you say since the day I met you.”
“Mark my words, Tasha Williams. You will be Tasha Adams, and we are going to live happily ever after.”
“Are you high? For real? I need to know if I’m living with a druggie.”
“I’m not even going to entertain that question. You lived with a bunch of druggies at your apartment, which is why I won’t allow you to live there.”
“Right, because you care so much about my well-being that you had to save me from that dangerous neighborhood after I had your son. Is that what you’re saying? Because it sure sounds like it!”
“Believe it or not, I’m only trying to do right by you. It might be hard for you to see it now, but that’s all I’m trying to do.”
Pissed and tired of arguing with her, I stormed out of the kitchen and went into my study to work on some of my advertising campaigns.
I was only sitting at my desk for a few minutes when I thought I heard something. Glancing up, I saw Nikki’s face peeking out from the bottom of the doorway.
Shit, she must’ve overheard us arguing in the kitchen. Smiling at her, I invited her into my study.
“Is it okay?” she looked around, seeing if her mom noticed her.
“Yeah, it’s fine. You can come in. Want to see what I’m working on?”
“Sure,” she bounced into my office and jumped on my lap.
“Right here,” I hovered my mouse, “is a project that I started working on right before your little brother was born and this one—”
“Is he my little brother?”
“Yes. Why would you think he’s not?”
“When he was inside mommy’s belly, she said that we couldn’t keep him because he wasn’t ours. And it made me really sad. I like babies; they’re cute.”
“It’s a very complicated situation, honey. When you’re older, we’ll explain it to you.” Staring at me, I started to feel uncomfortable. “Do you like your little brother?”
“Yeah, but I want to hold him. Mommy says he’s still too small, though. But I promised her I’d be careful.”
“She’s right, he is very small, but I promise you can hold him when he’s big enough.”
“Yay!” She looked at me for a minute, “Can I get some cookies?”
“You’ll have to ask your mom.”
She hopped down off my lap and took off running. It didn’t matter how much of a bad mood I was in; she seemed to brighten it.
Delving into my work, I didn’t realize that it was almost 11 PM until I started to get hungry. I went out to the kitchen and made myself something to eat before I went to bed.
When I got to the top of the stairs, I couldn’t help but peek in on Tasha. She looks so angelic when she’s sleeping in comparison to the evil eye she gives me when she’s awake. Sleeping like a baby, I watched her chest rise and fall as I thought about what it would be like to have her in my bed.
I know that deep down, she’s a good person. We just need to get over this little hurdle. I finally left her room and went to bed. When I woke up, I had morning wood that wouldn’t go away. Taking a cold shower before heading downstairs for breakfast, I thought about Carter.
“Do you want to take Nikki to see Carter today? We can go as soon as I eat if you want.”
“Yeah, she’s been asking all morning when we were going to go, but since I don’t have my car I have to rely on you,” she hissed.
I hadn’t even thought about her not having her car since I’d picked them up in my Escalade.
“We’ll talk about taking you to get your car as soon as the doctor says you can drive. Did you cook anything this morning?”
“There’s some bacon on the counter.”
Well, I see the flowers didn’t help me at all. They were still sitting right where I left them after I put them in water. Hopefully, her attitude changes after we see the baby. She’s going to have to learn to get along with me since we have a son together.
If I’ve been able to overcome the fact that my baby is bi-racial because I chose her, she needs to realize that she’s going to have to choose me. After breakfast, everyone loaded into the car, and we were on our way to see Carter.
“It’s nice seeing him without the oxygen on him. Now all we have to do is wait for the feeding tube to go away,” I beamed down at Tasha while she was holding the baby. She looked beautiful holding our son.
“That’ll be nice. Do you want to hold him?”
“I’d love to.”
Holding him reminded me of the day I found out she was pregnant. As excited as I was that day, it was nothing compared to seeing him and having him wrapped in my arms.
Spending a few hours at the hospital, we decided to head home for dinner. I ordered take-out to give Tasha a break from cooking. Once Nikki was in bed, I asked Tasha if we could talk. Reluctant, she finally agreed.
“I know things haven’t gone exactly as we planned, but we have to make this work. I’m more than willing to give this thing a shot, but you got to let me in.” She stared at me, making me feel uneasy. “What do I have to do to get you on board with this idea? I’m not a bad guy. You know?”
“It’s not that I think you’re a bad guy, although you did come into my house and pack my bags, forcing me out.” She paused as her eyes focused on mine. Her eyes looked so hollow, empty and lonely. “Ever since Troy, I haven’t trusted men. I mean, he knocked me up and never really stuck around. I’ve never told you this before, but he’s in prison right now serving a long sentence. He won’t get out until after Nikki’s 18th birthday. I swore after him that I’d never get into another serious relationship. That’s why I haven’t been with anybody in over a year, and that guy—the last one I hooked up with—was some clown that a friend set me up with. We had a bit too much to drink, and I was kind of tipsy.”
“Just because you promised yourself that you wouldn’t get into another serious relationship doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. I promised myself the very same thing but look around you. Isn’t this a nice home? A lot nicer than your dumpy apartment in the ghetto? Wouldn’t you love to raise the kids here and get out of that neighborhood?”
Tasha
He hit the nail right on the head.
It’s like he could read my mind. Sure, I want the best for my kids, but him? I don’t know about that. Up until now, I think he’s behaved like a complete jackass, but this new side of him, the soft, meaningful side, I don’t know what to think. I kept listening to him as he went on.
“I can offer you a safe home, a place where the kids will want to grow up. I can also offer you a good, solid relationship.”
“I’m not saying that you can’t offer me all those things. Of course, I want a nice, safe home for my kids to grow up in, but you’ve gone about it all wrong. I need a man who will support my decisions and have my back—no matter what. Ever since the baby was born, all you’ve done is insert yourself into my life, like a thorn in my ass.”
“You haven’t been exactly pleasant either, but we need to let the past be the past.”
“It’s just that—I don’t know. I’ve never been with a white dude before. Every time I go out to check the mail or take Nikki outside to play, the neighbors stare at us like we’re not supposed to be here. I just don’t feel like we belong here.”
He laughed.
“They probably stare at you because you’re the first woman who’s been to my house since my wife died. I’ve never gone into great detail with you either, about my wife, but after she had died, I swore off relationships myself. Finding a woman to replace her was never my idea. I didn’t think anyone could ever fill her shoes and that I’d always comp
are a new woman to my wife.”
“And how do I fare compared to her? Because if you want this to work, I can’t be a second choice.” Looking into his eyes, they seemed warm and sincere. It was like looking into the eyes of a lost soul who’d finally found his home.
“Honestly? I’ve never compared you once to her. There is no comparison.” He reached over and took hold of my hand. “My wife…she was a wonderful woman. Probably too good for me, but you? There’s just no comparison. You have a lot of the same qualities as my wife, but when I see you, I don’t even think of her. I do know that you’re an excellent mom and a caring person, but I want to know you.”
I don’t think any man has ever said such kind, sweet words to me like this before. It was so touching that I almost cried. I tried telling myself that it must be my hormones, but the baby’s almost two weeks old.
All those pregnancy hormones left my body a long time ago. Maybe if we could work our differences out, we can be a happy family. He has a lot of making up to do, though, and it would be nice to at least be with one of my baby’s daddies.
“I’d like that, but you have some changing to do. You can’t go bossing me around or expect me to do things your way. I have an opinion, too. I’ll be willing to give things a shot if you can be more considerate.”
“Deal. From here on out, I’ll think of your feelings first, and I’ll do my damnest to make sure this works. I want Carter to have both of his parents around and not just a part-time mom or a part-time dad. And I’d also like to be a father figure for Nikki. That little girl warms my heart more than I could have ever imagined.” I smiled at him. I wanted those same things too. He leaned in close to me and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. “I’d also like you to start sleeping in the master bedroom with me. It’s silly for you to sleep on that old mattress in the guest room.”
“That will remain the same for now, but I appreciate your offer.”
If he thinks I don’t know that he’s been a peeping Tom on me while I’ve been ‘asleep’ he’s dead wrong. I’m such a light sleeper that anytime I hear a noise; I wake up. I’ve heard him crack the door open and stand there before quietly closing it and walking down the hall.
I’ve chosen to keep this information to myself. You know the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer? Right now I want to know everything there is to him, including how much of a snoop he is. I know I’ve given him a run for his money, but the truth is, he’s not a bad guy.
Over the last several months during my pregnancy, I’ve gotten to know him a little, but enough to know that he’s not a monster. I guess that’s why I didn’t fight him too much when he packed our bags and threw us into his Escalade. He’s fine, too.
I could tell from the first day that I met him that he works out regularly. His abs and chest are nicely toned with great definition, and his arms are just the right size. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s a piece of eye candy with his movie-star, white teeth, and amazing hair.
While at the hospital visiting Carter, the neonatologist came down to talk to us. All of Carter’s tubes had been removed for about a week, and she said he was finally ready to come home.
She scheduled his release date for tomorrow, which had me wicked stoked. I could hardly wait for him to come home.
Over the last couple of weeks, Blake and I had been shopping for the baby, and we had his nursery all set up. Of course, I had him repaint the room from the dull gray color that it was to a beautiful, warm and sunny yellow.
Since Nikki loves the zoo so much, we opted for an animal print theme. Giraffes, elephants, tigers, and lions were bordered around the room along with a mixture of exotic plants. When we left the hospital, I went home and rewashed all of his crib bedding to prepare his room for his arrival.
“You don’t look excited at all,” Blake teased as I fussed over tying the bumper pad around the crib perfectly.
“Me? Have you seen Nikki? She’s been driving me nuts arranging and rearranging all of his stuffed animals so he can look at all of them.” We laughed as I put the finishing touches on the crib and he finished hooking up the baby monitor. “I think you’re pretty excited too.”
“I am,” he wrapped his arm around me. “But I’m even happier that we’re trying to make things work.”
I’m still sleeping in the guest room, which is driving him crazy, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with him yet. I know he wants it, he pesters me to move in there with him on a daily basis, but it’s too soon.
Finishing up the household chores, I tossed and turned in bed as I thought about Carter coming home. Morning couldn’t come fast enough. I must have looked at the alarm clock every hour or so, waiting for the sun to come up so we could begin our morning.
The doctor said that she was going to release the baby after lunch, around noon, so we had to wait for most of the morning before we could head to the hospital to bring him home.
Waking up Nikki, her eyes fluttered open. “Is he here yet?”
“Not yet, but we’ll get him after lunch.”
“Is it lunch time yet?”
“No, silly. It’s only seven in the morning. I thought I’d wake you up to have some breakfast and play for a little bit before lunch so we can get him.”
Much to my surprise, Blake was already up, sipping a cup of coffee at the kitchen counter. Nikki’s chattering caught his attention when we walked into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” he said.
“We can bring home baby Carter after lunch! Mommy said so!” she hopped around the table before she took her seat.
“Yep, that’s right. He gets to come home today. Are you going to hold him?” he asked her as I started preparing a batter to make pancakes. Her eyes lit up and bulged out of her tiny head.
“OH! Can I? Can I hold him today?” she bounced up and down in the chair.
“Nikki, stop doing that!”
“She’s fine,” he came to her defense. “And yes, you can hold him today but you have to be very careful. Your mom will show you how to hold him, so you don’t hurt him.”
As the pancakes sizzled in the pan, Blake and Nikki talked about how they were going to spend their afternoon with the baby. It was cute seeing them get along like that. He’d taken a liking to her.
Sometimes the two of them were inseparable. I had to keep an eye on her though because she liked going into his study while he was working. He didn’t seem like he minded, but I didn’t want her to bother him while he was busy.
After breakfast, I tidied up the house while he did some last minute work on the computer before a quick lunch. Nikki didn’t eat enough to keep a bird alive as she picked at her food.
“Are you ready to go?” Blake asked.
“Let me grab the bag I packed for the baby. Wow. That sounds weird.”
“What?”
“Packing a baby bag. I haven’t done it in a couple of years and didn’t think I would do it again for a very long time.”
“Come on, let’s get a move on.”
Driving to the hospital, our anticipation began to soar. We talked about who would get to hold him first once he was home and how I would give him a bath; that was something I hadn’t been able to do yet. When we stepped off the elevator, a man approached him and asked if I was the mother of his baby.
“Yep, this is her. Darnell, meet Tasha. Tasha, this is Darnell.” We smiled at each other. “Did your wife ever have the baby?”
“She had him last night. Since she kept going into false labor, they treated her and sent her home. They wouldn’t take her seriously when she came back in until her water broke.”
“You two know each other?” It seemed strange that he’d be hanging out with a brother.
“We met the day you had Carter. His wife was here, and he was in the waiting room, and we started talking.”
“Oh, what did she have? A boy or a girl?” I asked.
“We had a boy and named him Terrance. He’s in the nursery if you’re heading
down there. Is your boy still in here?”
“Not for long. We’re taking him home this afternoon,” Blake proudly boasted.
“Congratulations, man. Hope everything works out for you two.”
As we turned to go to the nursery, curiosity got the best of me.
“What did he mean by he hopes everything works out for us? What does he know?”
“Let’s just say he knows a lot. He was here the first couple of days Carter was born.”
When we got to the nursery, Carter was laying in his bassinet and blended in beautifully with the rest of the newborns. He wasn’t the same fragile baby that was born almost three months ago.
I saw a strong, handsome boy staring off into space while some of the other babies fussed. Nikki was in sheer heaven as she saw all the babies and realized that her brother finally looked like one of them—a normal, healthy baby.
Walking over to the nurse’s station we asked the nurse to page the neonatologist. We patiently waited for almost 15 minutes until she strolled over to us.
“Got the whole crew here today, huh?”
“Yeah, we’re ready to take home our baby boy.”
“Perfect. Let me go over some of the discharge instructions and follow-up testing that he’ll need. I’ll go down to my office to get the paperwork for you and give you a chance to see him before you take him home.”
The nurse let us in the nursery, this time we didn’t need the paper gowns and hairnets. Nikki started talking to him the minute we were standing over him.
I picked him up and held him for a few minutes before handing him over to Blake. He looked so sweet holding the baby.
I could get used to seeing him doing that.
A few minutes later, the neonatologist walked into the nursery with a handful of papers.
“This is just the general release form that explains things to watch for during his first 24-48 hours home. I’m sure you know the routine,” she glanced down at Nikki and smiled. “But these are the follow-up tests that he’ll need. The first one is in six months. We’ll want to follow up on his hearing and vision. At one year,” she produced another sheet of paper, “we’ll need to check his motor skills and development. Depending on where he’s at, his pediatrician may recommend additional testing, or he may not.”