Matthias

by Katie Dowe

  “Mrs. Zeng, very nice to meet you,” she said with a warm smile.

  “Please, call me Caitlin, I am still getting used to my married name.”

  The woman smiled at her and turned her attention to her boss.

  “Thank you for coming in today, Max.” he said sincerely.

  She waved a hand at that. “My husband is no longer resentful of my real husband,” she said with a twinkle in her light blue eyes.

  “Remind me to send him a bottle of scotch.”

  “That will do it.” She turned brisk as she led the way to his office where Caitlin was in for another surprise! The office had steps leading down into the lush steel grey carpet and a baronial desk took up most of one side of the room. The one-sided glass revealed a stunning look at the city with all its lights and tall buildings. Paintings dotted the walls and several sculptors were displayed on tables at one corner of the room. A huge fireplace was on the other side of the room and recessed lights were displayed as soon as they entered the room. It was a haven fit for a king and Caitlin had a feeling that in this room her husband reigned supreme.

  “Would you like something to drink, Caitlin?” he asked her as he strode towards his desk. “We won’t be long, I promise.”

  “I have no desire to take even one minute out of your honeymoon, Caitlin, and I promise that we will be finished before you know it.” Maxine turned to Matthias. “I have procured the tickets you requested and made the reservations at the Kelly’s.”

  “Thank you.” Matthias walked over to her and lifted a brow, making her realize that she had not answered his question about wanting something to drink.

  “Some lemon water.”

  He nodded and went to wall in the corner where he touched a button and a full bar was revealed. He poured her the water and added the lemon, bringing it back to her. “Make yourself comfortable,” he suggested. He left and went to sit behind his desk with Maxine seated in a chair next to him and handing him the different folders she had prepared for his attention. Caitlin tuned them out eventually and curling her feet beneath her she sipped the refreshing drink and let her eyes wander around the cast room. It was easily three times the size of the main office at the publishing house and with a smile she wondered how on earth he could have felt comfortable there and so at ease. The place was magnificent and the view stunning that she had a hard time determining which was more to the senses! She was so absorbed in the view that she was not aware that the meeting had ended, and that Maxine had discreetly left them alone. Matthias walked over to her and crouched down in front of her. “Hi.”

  She swiveled her head to look at him. “Hi.”

  “We are through.”

  “I did not notice.”

  “We have a date with the opera and a dinner reservation.”

  “At Kelly’s.” She touched his black hair and let her hand lingered at his face. “Kelly Takahashi?”

  “Hmm.” He closed his eyes as she cupped his jaw. “She has two here in New York and it is a fight to get reservations.”

  “But not where you are concerned,” she pointed out.

  “I am on the guest list,” he said with a slight smile.

  “Of course.” She looked around. “This place takes your breath away.”

  “I am happy you like it.”

  “How can you want to be anywhere else?”

  “Home is where the heart is,” he told her softly as he placed a hand on her stomach. “My family is where my home is.”

  *****

  She enjoyed the opera and he enjoyed looking at her. He had been several times because he loved everything to do with the art world. He was also a heavy contributor as well, so a seat had been reserved for him. He held her hand in his, his fingers laced with hers, lifting their joined hands to bring them to his lips at intervals and distracting her. He wanted to make love to her, and he was not sure he should have made the reservations, but he wanted her to have the New York experience the way he knew it.

  They left the theatre and were taken to the surprisingly cozy restaurant settled way back from the busy road and were greeted with smiles from the hostess as well as the manager whose dark blue eyes glowed in delight as soon as Matthias came in. Caitlin saw the disappointment in her eyes when he introduced Caitlin as his wife.

  “Friend of yours?” she asked him casually as they were shown to their table and left alone.

  “A long time ago.” His dark eyes were amused as he looked at her. “Don’t worry, I have eyes only for you.”

  “You had better,” she told him.

  That night he showed her as he made tender love to her until the early hours of the morning.

  Chapter 11

  She started putting on weight by the time she was three months pregnant and had to cut back her hours much to her dismay. They had their biggest argument since getting married because he put his foot down. He had officially handed over the publishing house to her and the excitement of being in complete charge had her going overboard. For a very long time she had wanted to put things in place but never had the autonomy to do so. Now she did and was so fired up about it that she held meetings with all the departments and told them what she wanted. Matthias only came in once every week for meetings and to hear updates because he still sat on the board. He made sure to curtail his traveling to his other businesses and when he went to his corporate office in New York he always came back home for the night.

  It was Thursday afternoon and a glance at his watch saw that it was almost six-thirty. He signaled to Maxine and she nodded, putting away her device while he got to his feet and made his excuses to leave the conference room to make the call. He had called her early in the afternoon and had been so busy that he had not called her back and she had not called him either.

  “Hey! I am running a little bit late. Did you just get home?” he asked as she answered.

  “I am still at work. I had to tie up something up before I leave. I should be leaving in the next hour.”

  “You are leaving now, Caitlin.” His tone was ominous as he tried his best not to allow his anger to spill over into the conversation. “When I left this morning, your feet were starting to swell up and you promised that you would take off early. What the hell are you still doing there?”

  There was silence as she waited to process how he had just talked to her. “I am going to ignore that and account for you being concerned, but you don’t get to talk to me like that.”

  “Are you going to leave now?”

  “I am going to finish in the next half hour and then I am leaving. You handed over the reins to me and I am going to do my job.”

  Matthias closed his eyes and reined in his temper. “I will see you when I get home,” he said abruptly and hung up the phone. He leaned back against his chair and took a deep breath. He had been the one to rub her feet every night and had to fight down the damned guilt of what she was going through! Aside from the swollen feet, she still had awful nausea that was not going away, no matter what she took. She was cheerful about it, but he wondered if deep down she was regretting her decision. They made love every night, but he was careful not to give in to his violent passion because of what she was experiencing. He combed his fingers through his hair and reached for the phone to call the doctor.

  *****

  Caitlin was prepared for him when he got to the apartment. She was seething with resentment and had barely been able to finish the meeting that she had been in. They had several titles coming on board and she had to discuss things with Steve who had been promoted. How dare he insinuate that she did not care about the lives she was carrying! Her eyes flashed as she walked around the living room slowly and rubbed the small of her back. Occasionally, she had to get up and walk around to try and slow down the swelling of her feet. She was already in love with the fetus she was carrying and certainly did not need him to look out for her every single day! He was slowly getting on her nerves with the guilt and the suffocating attention.

  She was
waiting for him in the living room and her eyes flashed in anger as he came into the room.

  “You should be in bed,” he said coldly as he walked past her to go and pour himself a glass of brandy.

  “Hi, darling! How are you feeling? As the woman carrying my children and as my wife, you are due a certain amount of respect and I am entitled to give it to you.” Her dark brown eyes flashed as she stared at him.

  “As my wife and the woman carrying my children, I expect you to obey what the doctor tells you and cut back on your usual activities. Don’t make me regret handing over the reins to you.”

  Caitlin stiffened and felt the anger boiling inside her breasts. “Do you want to take it back, Matthias? Is that what you want to do?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous!” He tossed back the brandy and almost choked as it lodged inside his throat. “Look, I don’t want to argue with you, Caitlin, but you are being unreasonable.”

  “Is that so?” Her tapered brows lifted. “Oh, please don’t remind me! All you really care about are the children I am carrying, isn’t it?”

  He stared at her for a moment and then finished his drink. “Is that what you think? Haven’t I showed you that I care for you? What more can I do?”

  “You care?” She suddenly felt weary and dejected and had to fight back the tears. A huge part of it was hormones but not all of it. She had been waiting for him to say the words to her, but they were not forthcoming. “I am going to bed.”

  “Have you eaten?” he asked her abruptly as she turned to leave.

  “I am okay.”

  “That was not the question.”

  “Yes, Matthias, I ate just before I left work and I am not too bad by the way, in case you are interested.” With that, she turned and left him standing near the fireplace.

  Matthias drank some more, his expression moody as he stared into the blazing fire. He should go after her and he knew that, but the way he was feeling now it would not do either of them any good. He was angrier with himself than he was with her because he kept thinking that if something happened to her it would be on him and he had no idea how to let go of the damned guilt and fear he was feeling. He had read up on implantation and had known the risks, but living with her and his emotions seesawing each time she was nauseous or when she was suffering from cramps and swollen feet was something he had not accounted for. What the hell had he expected, he thought grimly. He stared down at the brandy in his glass with a grimace and decided against drinking the rest of it. He really should go to her and take her into his arms and tell her about his fears. But he did not want to worry her, he preferred to keep it to himself!

  *****

  She was four months pregnant when she had to be rushed to the hospital!

  “Your blood pressure is too high and on top of that you are anemic,” Dr. Fritz told her briskly as he examined her. After the argument several weeks ago, she had decided to cut back on her hours, but she still took work home with her and even when she was home, she consulted both with Eve and Steve about what needed to be done. “It is common when a person is carrying multiples.”

  “I never had high blood pressure before,” Caitlin murmured, feeling the tension in Matthias’ fingers holding hers. She had been at work and had felt dizzy and Eve had called him. Since it was drawing nearer to her due date, he was staying closer to home, communicating via telephone and video calls to his assistant and the meetings he needed to attend. He had been at a luncheon meeting with an artist he wanted to promote when he got the call and had rushed to her side. He watched her like a hawk and Caitlin had since resigned herself to being monitored by him. He was not the only one, but everyone at the publishing house was looking out for her and making sure she did not overwork herself.

  “As I said, it is one of the side effects,” Dr. Fritz told them.

  “What can we do?” Matthias asked him tensely.

  “We are going to keep her for a couple of days so that she can get complete rest. The babies are doing fine by the way.”

  “That’s good news.” She looked at her husband. “You can stop worrying.”

  He spared her a glance but did not answer and he refused to budge until she had gone to sleep. He watched her for a moment and then went to find the doctor.

  He found Dr. Fritz seated in the doctors’ lounge enjoying a cup of coffee. “Would you like a cup? It is not as good as the one you gave me for my office, I am afraid.”

  Matthias shook his head and sat across from the man. “How is she really? And please don’t tell me that she is okay and that the babies are doing fine. I happen to know you very well and I saw the concern on your face.”

  Dr. Fritz eyed the man seated across from him and sighed as he stirred more sugar into his coffee. He was used to concerns from parents with multiple births and he usually tried not to give them reasons to worry, but Matthias Zeng was different. Apart from his being a friend, he was also a very big contributor to the research he had going on at his medical center and he could not be fooled! “One of the baby’s shows signs of not growing enough.”

  “What does that mean?” Matthias demanded.

  “The other three are absorbing the nutrients that one is supposed to be getting and stifling the growth.”

  “One of them is going to die?” Matthias felt his body going cold. He wanted all four children and if he lost one, he would inconsolable.

  “Not if I can help it.”

  “What are you planning on doing about it?”

  “Everything I can,” Dr. Fritz said soberly. “We are going to increase Caitlin’s intake of food and her vitamins as well. I promise that at the end of the pregnancy there will be four babies.”

  Matthias leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes wearily before opening them again. “I keep visualizing the worst scenarios in my mind. What if something happens to one or all of them? What if it costs Caitlin her life? I keep wishing I could go back and do things differently.”

  “For as long as I have known you, Matt, you have always wanted a big family.”

  “But at what cost?” he asked bitterly. “I watch her while she is sleeping dammit! And when I am away from her, I wonder if I will get a call saying something is wrong! Like the call I got today. I am wondering if it is worth all the anxiety and dread.”

  “When you hold your babies in your arms, you are going to think otherwise,” the doctor told him pragmatically.

  Matthias stared at him for a moment, hoping he was right! “I certainly hope so.” He got to his feet. “I need to go and check on her. I am staying the night.”

  “I figured you would.”

  She was still sleeping when he went back inside the room and Matthias pulled up a chair and sat by her bed. She had gotten even bigger than before and he had started rubbing her belly and talking to the babies growing inside her. She had been the one to tell him to do it so that they could recognized his voice.

  “I feel ridiculous,” he had told her wryly, the first time he had done it.

  “It is a scientific fact that they hear and recognize the parents’ voices. Keep talking,” she had insisted.

  And he had done it, feeling less self-conscious with each passing night. His eyes wandered over her flawless complexion and the tendrils of hairs that had escaped the ponytail that one of the nurses had put up for her. She was lying on her side and he remembered that she was having a difficult time trying to find a comfortable position to sleep at night. He still made love to her but gently as if he was afraid to damage her or the babies. He just had to look at her for him to get hard, the way he was right now! He stifled a sigh and leaned back in the chair. He could not wait for the entire ordeal to be over and had said the same to Kane a few days when his friend had called him.

  “You should have talked me out of it,” he had muttered to his friend.

  “Would you have listened?”

  “Maybe if you had reminded me of the risks involved to mother and babies, I would have had second thoughts.”

&nb
sp; “I think you are worrying too much.”

  “Caitlin said the same thing to me. She is being a trooper and I am the one overreacting about the entire thing. When I see what she has to go through each day, I cannot help but feel guilty that I was the one who introduced her to it.”

  “And she is an adult that you did not force to agree. It’s going to be fine, man,” Kane had told him.

  Is it? he wondered as he looked at her. Or had he been so obsessed with having a family that he had not put enough thought into it? He sat forward and looked at her. He had come to care for her in just a matter of months and he felt for her more than he had ever felt for another woman in his life. With her he could not be aloof and detached. It was more than just physical for him, but he did not know how to tell her! His lonely childhood had robbed him of the ability to know how to tell her what he was feeling! It had robbed him of the ability to identify what he was feeling. A shrink would have a field day with that!, he thought wryly. He pressed back the chair with the intention of trying to get some sleep. She was in the hospital and if anything was wrong, there were nurses and doctors around, which meant he could relax.

  *****

  She was put on bed rest for a month with Dr. Fritz coming to visit her three times a week to check on her progress. Matthias curtailed all his activities so that he could be there with her and for her. The housekeeper he hired was given strict instructions for when he had to leave for an hour or two and Caitlin found the restrictions frustrating and took it out on him.

  “Reading manuscripts is relaxation to the mind,” she told him impatiently when he came back home one afternoon and took the typewritten pages away from her. “I am going to go stir crazy if I lie here and do nothing.”