Something Blue

by Sean Ashcroft

  He skimmed the details, taking in the fact that it was for micro-budget weddings—where he’d started out—and that the wedding had to be within the next six weeks.

  The eligibility requirements said that family and friends of magazine staff or the sponsors were forbidden from entering, but they didn’t say anything about wedding planners.

  Connor could almost feel the cogs turning in his head. This was a national magazine, read by millions of people across the country. Even just having his name mentioned in it would…

  Well, it’d be a start. He could work with a start. He’d blown one opportunity, so he’d learned his lesson about grabbing hold of them with both hands.

  Except for the part where he really didn’t have anyone he could ask to marry him.

  A low whistle made him look up to see Max bringing his coffee over. He smiled automatically, happy to see him again.

  Max was cute. From the tips of his bright blue hair to his sweet little button nose—not to mention broad shoulders and a neat, defined waist—Connor wouldn’t have objected at all to getting to know him a little better.

  “A hundred thousand dollars, huh? I could use that right about now.”

  The lightbulb behind Max’s head made the edges of his hair light up as though his whole head was glowing.

  It wasn’t a stretch to think of him as an angel, especially not when he was providing coffee.

  Connor realized after a moment that Max had said something, and then a moment later realized what he’d said.

  “Oh, umm… yeah, who couldn’t, right?” Connor said.

  Max chuckled. “How do I win?”

  “Uh.” Connor blinked up at him still distracted by how pretty he was. Max had been so kind to him yesterday, and Connor had always thought he was vaguely attractive, but now that there’d been flirting…

  It was hard not to notice that he was really hot. And that he smelled of cinnamon and cloves, which was a little mature for his age, but it worked all the same.

  “You have a really nice wedding?” Connor responded after another moment. “Sorry, I’m not… entirely here today.”

  Max smiled kindly at him, brushing his hands on his apron. “You’re a wedding planner, huh? I thought maybe you were a fashion blogger or something, ‘cause you’re so well-dressed and you’re always working on your laptop, but it’s always wedding magazines.”

  Connor blinked up at him, surprised that Max had been paying that much attention. In Chicago, he’d been accustomed to blending in.

  Out here, he apparently stuck out a little.

  Or Max liked him, which was his preferred explanation.

  “You got me,” Connor said, grinning.

  “I bet your wedding’s gonna be beautiful,” Max said. “You could totally win that.”

  “Oh, I’m not getting married,” Connor said. “Not anytime soon, anyway. I’m single. Very single,” he emphasized.

  Max seemed like a nice guy, he probably wouldn’t have made a move on a man he thought was in a relationship. It seemed best to make it very clear that there was absolutely no reason for him not to, for example, ask Connor out.

  Connor would never have done that to someone who was at work, because he knew what customer service was like, so he was stuck waiting for Max to make a move.

  “Oh.” Max licked his lips. “Right, I just… assumed, because you were reading about the competition.”

  “That’s… kind of a fantasy. I screwed up a really important wedding six months ago, like I kinda told you yesterday. This seems like the kind of thing that could get my career back on track, but… I really don’t have anyone to marry. Which is a pity, because I totally could’ve won.”

  “That sucks,” Max said, just as another customer came in. Connor got the feeling he’d had more to say, but the interruption probably meant that whatever it was would be lost forever.

  That was a shame. After only two conversations, Connor was really starting to like talking to Max.

  He half-watched Max work, serving the woman who’d come in with a broad smile and greeting her like an old friend. He seemed to know everyone here.

  Of course, everyone seemed to know everyone here, so that wasn’t really unusual.

  “I was gonna say,” Max said as the customer left, but he stopped as soon as Ash came back into the room.

  Connor liked Ash, who’d been quick to introduce himself and his partner when Connor had first come into the store, but right now, he wanted to murder him.

  “Are you two conspiring about something important?” he asked, looking between them. “Because I need to borrow Max for a minute to reach some stuff in the store room.”

  Max gave Connor a wry smile, and then turned to Ash. “Nothing super important. Lead the way.”

  Ash beckoned for Max to follow him, and Connor watched them both leave, sipping his too-hot coffee and sighing heavily.

  He closed the magazine and tucked it back into his bag, accepting that it was a stupid idea that would never work. At least he could fill in the crossword puzzles later.

  Chapter Four

  Max groaned as he shrugged his coat off, his shoulders protesting at being moved too much. He’d been on his feet most of the day, and he was really ready to sleep right now.

  Thursdays and Fridays were the worst, when the bowling alley was open until midnight and he had a shift at the bookstore beforehand. It meant he spent almost fourteen hours on his feet, with only a half-hour between shifts to get from one place to the other and shove something in his mouth along the way.

  Not that he wasn’t grateful. He needed every hour of work that he could get.

  Max felt his way into the kitchen in the dark, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that he’d just gotten in. He wasn’t sure if his mom was home, since the car was in the driveway, but she walked to work a lot, and the last thing he wanted to do was wake Zoe.

  She needed all the sleep she could get.

  He poured himself a glass of tap water, breathing a sigh of relief as he took the first sip. He needed to start bringing bottled water to work, if only for the walk home. The bookstore wasn’t so far, but the bowling alley was a lot further after a long day.

  Max swallowed his water down greedily, a few drops escaping the sides of his mouth and rolling down his chin, soaking into the collar of his t-shirt.

  As his ears stopped pounding from the long walk and the need for water, the sound of someone sobbing reached his ears.

  Zoe.

  Max’s heart sank all the way down to his stomach.

  His mom probably wasn’t home if Zoe was crying. She’d already be racing to help her.

  Which meant it was up to him this time, no matter how much he wanted to go up to his room and pass out.

  Instead, he mounted the stairs and turned to Zoe’s door, opening it just a crack to poke his head in.

  “Hey,” he said softly. “What’s up?”

  “Hurts,” Zoe complained in the tiniest voice. She was thirteen, but she seemed impossibly small when she was in pain.

  And she was in pain so often these days. Max had watched her go from being a happy, active kid to being cooped up in her room all day and miserable. He hated to see her like this, but he knew it was a thousand times worse for her.

  “When did you last take something?” Max asked.

  “Ten, I think?” Zoe said. “What time is it?”

  “Little after midnight,” Max responded, his heart breaking. Too soon for another dose of painkillers, even for breakthrough pain.

  That was happening more and more lately. The balance between not poisoning her and not leaving her in pain was apparently hard to strike for her doctors. Max had no idea whether or not that was right, but he hated to see his little sister upset, and he wished he could do something about it.

  He was trying, but it wasn’t enough. She needed surgery, and no matter how many hours he worked, the cost seemed so far out of their reach that it’d never happen.

  It was
times like this he missed his dad the most. One more pair of hands might have been enough.

  “Too soon,” Zoe said, sighing heavily. “I just wanna sleep.”

  “I can make you tea?” Max suggested.

  There was just enough light spilling into the room from the hall for him to see the face she made at that. She hated the teas mom made her drink to help her sleep.

  Max understood, since they smelled like fresh-mown grass. Fine on a nice summer’s day, not something he’d want to put in his mouth on purpose.

  “Hot chocolate?” he offered instead.

  That earned him a smile. Pained, and tiny, but there. If he could make Zoe smile, at least that was something.

  “I’ll be back in a second,” he promised, closing the door over again and heading downstairs. He covered his mouth as he yawned widely, his eyelids heavy.

  This was more important than sleep. He could sleep when he was dead.

  His heart and stomach ached as he poured milk into a saucepan on the stove to heat it up. The instructions on the hot chocolate said to add hot water, but milk was good for Zoe, especially now that she didn’t get outside much. He and his mom had taken to sneaking it into everything.

  He stirred the powder in a little at a time, making sure to break up any lumps. Zoe hated lumps in her hot chocolate, and right now, it was the only thing Max could think of to soothe her.

  A brief search of the cupboards for marshmallows yielded nothing, so Max improvised by sprinkling a little extra chocolate powder over the top, and hoped that’d be good enough.

  He wanted to make Zoe a hot chocolate in the bookstore one day, with foamed milk and the huge marshmallows Declan kept ordering.

  He just wanted to see her out and about. She would have loved what Ash and Declan had done with the place. Max brought her books all the time, but he knew Zoe would have loved to search the shelves for herself.

  Blowing on both mugs to cool them off a little, Max headed up the stairs and nudged the door to his sister’s room open, finding her propped up on half a dozen pillows with her bedside lamp on.

  “One hot chocolate,” Max said, setting it down on her nightstand and sitting down carefully on the end of the bed, where she’d clearly left a space for him. “Do you need more pillows?” he asked belatedly, steeling himself to get up again.

  “This is fine,” she said, hugging her unicorn-covered hot water bottle tight. Max wasn’t sure how much good it did, but she seemed to like it.

  “Need me to reheat that?” Max asked, nodding to the water bottle.

  Zoe shook her head. “It’s still really warm. I’m okay.”

  Max could still see tear tracks glistening on her face, so he knew that was a lie, but if Zoe wanted him to think she was okay, then he’d go along with it. There was no point in making her even more miserable by arguing with her.

  “You learn anything cool today?” he asked instead, figuring that taking her mind off how much pain she was in would help at least a little.

  “There are these tiny animals called tardigrades that live in water, and they’re basically indestructible,” Zoe said. “They can survive being boiled, frozen, and in space. Cool, huh?”

  Max smiled at that. “Extremely cool. How tiny are we talking?”

  “Like a fifth of the size of a grain of salt,” Zoe said. “They’re everywhere, too. This whole world of basically immortal creatures just… living all around us. And they’ve got six legs and little claws,” she added. “Definitely going on the favorite animals list.”

  “Long list,” Max said, sipping his hot chocolate. He made a soft, happy sound as the taste hit the back of his tongue, not having realized how badly he needed the pick-me-up until he’d taken his first sip.

  Chocolate really did make everything better.

  “Animals are cool,” Zoe defended.

  “Can’t argue with that. How’s algebra going?”

  Zoe snorted. “Do I have to learn math? Isn’t knowing how to add and subtract enough?”

  Max chuckled. “You gotta know math. Especially if you wanna be a vet. How’re you gonna calculate how much medicine to give to a cat if you can’t do algebra?”

  “It’s hard,” she complained.

  “I’ll help you,” Max said. “We can sit down on Saturday and go over it. It’s actually super easy once you get it, and you’re smart. You’ll get it. You just haven’t come at it from the right angle yet.”

  “So did you meet any cute girls?” Zoe asked in a blatant attempt to change the subject.

  Max laughed, deciding to drop it until he had time to actually help her. “No cute girls today, no.”

  He had gotten the feeling Connor was flirting again, but that was harmless enough. Fun, even.

  He definitely wasn’t a girl, though.

  “You’re blushing,” Zoe said. “You know you can tell me, right? Who am I gonna tell?”

  Max cleared his throat. “No cute girls,” he said. “You’re the only cute girl in my life right now.”

  Zoe rolled her eyes and sipped her hot chocolate. For a moment, she almost looked as though she wasn’t in any pain.

  Then she winced, her leg jerking, and whimpered as she settled back into the pillows. She moved the hot water bottle to her bad hip, tears in her eyes again.

  Max’s heart sank. She needed a hip replacement, and she needed it as soon as possible. No one should have to live like this, but a thirteen-year-old absolutely shouldn’t have been in as much pain as he could see Zoe was.

  There were dark circles under her eyes that made her look forty. Pain was written all over her face, all the time, even when the painkillers were actually working.

  Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis was bullshit. She’d had flareups before, but then she’d been okay for a while, and now…

  Now she was worse than ever, and all Max could do was watch. Short of winning the lottery.

  He thought back to the competition Connor had been looking at earlier in the day. It wasn’t quite the lottery, but…

  It was enough. Forty thousand would cover Zoe’s surgery, and if they split the prize money fifty-fifty, that’d leave a little left over for his mom to take a break, too.

  Connor had seemed sure he could win. Sure enough to be disappointed he couldn’t enter, anyway.

  If all he needed was someone to get married to… Max could be that someone.

  He would have given Zoe a kidney or a lung if she’d needed it. This was such a small thing.

  It was a long shot, and maybe it was stupid, but Max was desperate. Desperate to see his little sister happy again.

  He sipped his hot chocolate, a plan forming in his head.

  He was going to ask Connor to marry him.

  Chapter Five

  The bell above the door jingled as Connor wandered into the bookstore, and again as he closed the door gently behind him.

  He was really starting to like that bell. It told him he was among friends.

  His heart leapt as he saw Max behind the counter, a smile turning up the corner of his lips.

  It was about time he accepted that he had a crush on Max, and it didn’t feel totally one-sided. Everyone in this town was nice, but Max was… different.

  And really hot. Connor adored everything about his faded punk aesthetic, from his visible roots and chipped nail polish to the heavy black boots he wore.

  He was the kind of person Connor could have scrubbed clean just to make a mess of him all over again.

  It’d been a while since he’d gotten laid, and maybe that was influencing his thinking, but he’d always secretly had a type. Max was it.

  Besides, his biceps were straining the hems of his t-shirt sleeves. Who could say no to that, at least once?

  Connor lined up behind the professionally-dressed woman in front of him, checking his emails quickly while he waited for Max to finish up with her and then fumbling to shove his phone back in his pocket when she said goodbye.

  He looked up, grinning at Max automatically.
His expression fell when he saw the serious look on Max’s face.

  “Is everything okay?” Connor asked automatically. Max always looked a little tired, but no more tired than Connor felt, so he didn’t think much of it.

  Not until now, anyway.

  “I’ll do it,” Max said.

  Connor blinked at him. “Do what?”

  His stomach swooped at all the possible answers, from go on a date with you to… all kinds of other exciting things. It was a weird way of phrasing it, but he liked a man who was direct.

  “Marry you,” Max said.

  Connor stared.

  Direct, he liked.

  This was… a little more intense than direct. He would have liked to go on a date first.

  I mean, a wedding would come with a wedding night, so he wasn’t exactly sure he should say no...

  “For the competition,” Max clarified.

  Connor crashed back to reality hard enough to make him sway on the spot, just for a moment.

  “Oh,” he said. “Oh. Right, that… makes more sense than the alternative.”

  Max looked at him, clearly waiting for more of a response than that.

  “Why?” Connor asked. They’d both joked about wanting the prize money—though Connor still really didn’t care about that—but that didn’t seem like enough incentive. Not for something as dramatic as getting married, anyway.

  Max nodded to the side, as if that explained anything. Connor followed the nod, looking across to…

  Oh.

  He’d been dropping his change in the tip jar every day, but he’d never actually noticed the picture above it, or the For Zoe label.

  Or the picture of a girl who looked hauntingly like Max. The same button nose, same clear blue eyes…

  His sister? Definitely too old to be his daughter.

  “My sister is sick,” Max said. “She has juvenile arthritis. She needs a hip replacement, which I know sounds ridiculous for a teenager, but it’s a real thing and it’s… bad. I sat up most of the night with her last night because she couldn’t sleep through the pain, and it’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Unless I come up with the money for the surgery. And I mean… I’ve scraped together maybe fifteen thousand dollars in three and a half years. At this rate, it’s gonna take me another seven years. In seven years she’ll be twenty, and she’ll have spent her entire teenage life stuck in the house except for doctor’s appointments.”