Something Blue

by Sean Ashcroft

  “One coffee, and one slice of chocolate cake for you, since you enjoyed it so much last time,” Max said, sitting down beside Connor.

  “Thank you,” Connor said eagerly, looking over to see what Max had chosen so he’d know for the future.

  There was nothing else on the tray.

  “Did you not… want cake?” Connor asked. “Because it’s really good.”

  “Coffee is fine,” Max said. “I didn’t want to take anything else from you.”

  Connor sighed, but didn’t want to push on the subject. He’d have to be sneakier about giving Max things.

  Even if Max was never going to be attracted to him, he wanted to be Max’s friend. He seemed like the kind of guy who could use one. A real friend, not someone who employed him. Declan and Ash were great, and Connor was sure his boss at the bowling alley was fine, but Max needed someone who was just his friend.

  Connor wanted to be that person. He liked being around Max.

  “What color do you dye your hair?” Connor asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

  “It’s called Bad Boy Blue.” Max smiled wryly. “I didn’t pick it for the name.”

  “I could see you on a motorbike with a leather jacket,” Connor said. “Could be a good look.”

  Max blushed, looking down at his coffee. “Yeah, well. I just like the color, and it goes over my natural hair without needing to bleach first.”

  “You’re a natural blond, huh?” Connor asked, smiling at the thought.

  “All over.” Max smirked.

  Connor tried not to picture anywhere else Max might have hair.

  He immediately failed, licking his lips automatically at the thought. Max was probably gorgeous naked, even if that was something Connor was never likely to find out.

  “Well, it’s a good color on you. I was thinking we should re-dye your roots before the photographer comes.”

  Max looked up at him. “I, uh… I’m not… sure…” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

  “It could be fun. I’ll pick up the dye later, and you could come over tonight and I’ll do it for you,” Connor offered.

  Max shifted in his chair. “I… guess that’d be okay,” he said.

  Connor smiled warmly at him, thrilled that Max had agreed. “Good. I’ll even throw in dinner to seal the deal. You’re not working tonight, are you?”

  “No, uh, I don’t work Monday nights. It’s not busy enough to need an extra pair of hands.”

  “Then I’ll see you… whenever you wanna come over, I guess?”

  “Maybe around six?” Max asked. “I wanna go home first, make sure Zoe doesn’t need anything.”

  “Of course,” Connor said, his heart sinking at the thought that Max had so much on his mind. “Six works. I’ll be in all night, so don’t worry if you’re late. And you have my address, it’s on the envelope.”

  Max opened his mouth to respond, but a customer came through the door before he could say whatever he’d been about to. He stood, heading for the counter to serve Rusty, another regular Connor had sort of gotten to know.

  “Six,” he said on his way over. “I’ll be there.”

  Connor smiled to himself, excited about the prospect of getting to spend a little extra time with Max.

  Chapter Eight

  A knot of nerves sat heavy in Max’s stomach as he stood in front of the door to Connor’s apartment. He didn’t really have any reason to be nervous, exactly, but Connor was…

  A little intimidating.

  Not intentionally. He was one of the nicest people Max had ever met, and he’d been nothing but kind, but Max had never been alone with him before, and he wanted Connor to keep liking him.

  That was what was making him nervous. The thought that maybe Connor wouldn’t like him so much when they were alone scared him, especially since he was relying on the guy now.

  Maybe that was stupid, but he was stuck with the feeling anyway.

  He took a deep breath and knocked, tugging on the hem of his t-shirt and fighting the urge to run his hand through his still-damp hair.

  Connor opened the door faster than Max had expected him to. He was dressed down to sweatpants and a t-shirt, both of which looked a little rumpled, his hair sticking up at odd angles.

  “Did I wake you?” Max asked, frowning. He was only five minutes late.

  “I uh…” Connor scratched the back of his neck, stepping away from the door to give Max space to go inside. “Might’ve had an impromptu nap. I’m glad you turned up, or it would’ve turned into one of those naps that leaves you even more exhausted than you started out.”

  Max laughed as he ducked into the apartment past Connor. As it turned out, he only lived across the street and a little way down from the bookstore, in one of the new apartments that had been built there. That explained why he came in so often.

  The inside of Connor’s apartment was as beautifully and tastefully decorated as Max had been expecting. Warm, dark floorboards, neutral furniture in cream, glass, and chrome, pops of color here and there… it was like something out of a fashion magazine.

  “This is… nice,” he said, not sure whether or not he should mention it. “You have great taste.”

  That seemed like a safe enough thing to say, and Connor probably knew that.

  “Thank you,” Connor responded brightly, smiling a tiny, impish smile that Max hadn’t seen before. “Can I get you a cup of coffee? Tea? Beer?”

  Max shook his head. He didn’t want Connor going to any more trouble for him than he already had.

  “Straight to business, then?” Connor asked.

  Max’s stomach knotted up again. He’d never had anyone else dye his hair for him.

  He couldn’t remember now why he’d agreed to this.

  Well… that wasn’t true. He’d wanted to hang out with Connor, because Connor was soothing, and he’d been offering to do something that Max had known he needed to do for a long time.

  It was just… new.

  But Connor clearly knew what he was doing, so it’d be fine.

  “Sure, yeah. Where do we, uh…?”

  “I was thinking we should probably apply the dye in the bathroom, for easier cleanup. I moved a chair in for you,” Connor said, turning and heading for a small door off to the side of the living room.

  Max followed, his eyes widening as he saw the bathroom beyond. It was just as stylish as the rest of the apartment, in black, cream, and rose gold, a huge tub sitting in the center, against the back wall.

  And it was mood lit, with candles scattered around the whole room.

  Max swallowed. He was starting to feel like he didn’t belong here, or in Connor’s world, at all.

  “Wow,” he said, unable to stop himself from reacting.

  Connor smiled a tiny, shy smile. “I can blow the candles out if you hate them, I just thought… you work really hard, you could use a break, so I wanted to make this as nice for you as I could. I have fresh towels out for you, but it looks like you already washed your hair?”

  Max wet his lips. Connor really had thought of everything.

  “I did, yeah. I figured it’d be quicker.”

  “Then take a seat and we’ll get started,” Connor said, nodding to the dining chair in the middle of the surprisingly spacious bathroom.

  This was a nice place. The kind of place Max had fantasized about living in when that seemed like an option. When he’d been starting college and was sure the world was at his feet.

  That had all come crashing down a year later. He wasn’t even mad about it anymore, but he hadn’t entirely forgotten that his life wasn’t always like this.

  Zoe would get better. She had to. And then… maybe Max could have a life of his own.

  But not until he’d made sure his sister was okay. And his mom, too.

  “Is it okay if I take my shirt off?” Max asked. He’d intentionally worn a dark one, but it was easier to get dye stains off his skin than out of a shirt, and he didn’t want to have to throw i
t away, even if it was old.

  “Be my guest,” Connor said, grabbing a bag with the pharmacy logo on it. “You’re not likely to have anything I haven’t seen before.”

  Max’s stomach swooped as he reached behind his neck to pull his t-shirt off, suddenly aware that he was doing this in front of someone who might actually care what he looked like.

  It wasn’t that he didn’t want Connor seeing him half-naked, or that he was… afraid, or worried Connor might hit on him, or anything, it was more…

  What if Connor hated the way he looked?

  Which was a weird thought to have, but Max was stuck with that, too. He cared what Connor thought about him, and apparently, that extended to whether or not he found him physically attractive.

  Max wasn’t even sure what he wanted Connor to think. Just that he was afraid of what he would.

  He was almost disappointed when Connor didn’t react at all.

  “This is the color, right?” Connor said, looking up at him again and holding out a jar of hair dye.

  Max took it, read the label, and then passed it back. “That’s the one,” he said. “We could’ve gone for a different color if it’d suit the theme better. I should’ve said.”

  “Oh no.” Connor shook his head. “You’re my muse, so we’re keeping your hair exactly the way it is.”

  Muse.

  That… that was a nice thing to hear.

  Max turned the word over in his head a few times as he sat down, leaning back to get himself comfortable.

  “I’m gonna put some oil around your hairline and on your ears first, okay?” Connor asked from behind him. “To stop the dye staining.”

  “Sounds good,” Max said. “You know what you’re doing, huh?”

  “I’ve… been known to dye my hair, in the past,” Connor said. “Tried a few different colors.”

  Max grinned at the thought. “I’m gonna need to see pictures.”

  “If you behave, I might be able to find some for you later,” Connor said. “This shouldn't be too cold, tell me if it is.”

  Max closed his eyes in anticipation, tilting his head back to give Connor access to his forehead. The first touch of fingers against his skin made his heart skip a beat, but Connor was gentle, and he’d warmed up the oil first.

  “Okay?” Connor asked.

  “Perfect,” Max said, relaxing further into his seat. “Feels great, actually.”

  Connor chuckled. “Wait until the free head massage starts,” he said. “I’ve had proposals based on them alone.”

  “I already proposed,” Max murmured as Connor spread oil over his ears, making him squirm as he touched the sensitive spots behind them.

  “That’s why you get a head massage,” Connor said, tilting Max’s head forward to put oil on the back of his neck, rubbing circles into the tense muscles there as he spread it around.

  Max sighed happily, feeling the last of his fear melt away. He could barely remember what he’d been worried about now. Connor was being kind, and gentle, and everything Max should have known he’d be.

  “I’m gonna start with the color now, okay?” Connor said. “I can’t really warm it up, so I apologize in advance.”

  “‘sokay,” Max murmured, his mind already drifting off. “I’ll survive.”

  “Of course you will,” Connor said kindly, twisting the cap off the jar of dye.

  Max straightened his head up again, trying to make it as easy as possible for Connor. He heard the sound of gloves crinkling, and braced himself to be touched again.

  It wasn’t so much of a shock this time. Max was getting used to Connor touching him.

  Hell, he was starting to like it. Especially with Connor’s long, strong fingers digging into his hair, massaging his scalp here and there as he spread the color around.

  Max squirmed in his chair again, his skin tingling as Connor stroked through his hair, fingers tangled deep in the strands, soothing the tension he’d been carrying there.

  Heat flared in his gut, making him gasp in surprise.

  “Sensitive spot?” Connor asked.

  “Uh, yeah, I guess,” Max said, hoping the blush he could feel heating his cheeks wasn’t too obvious.

  That was probably it. He was just reacting to Connor touching a sensitive spot on his head.

  Nothing else made sense.

  “You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” Connor murmured, working the dye into the back of Max’s hair.

  “I haven’t done this in a while,” Max confessed softly. “I… couldn’t afford the dye. I mean… I could afford it, but I couldn’t justify spending the money.”

  “I understand,” Connor said. “I also kind of… figured. But self-care is important, and I want my poor fiancé to be happy.”

  Max snorted. “Fake fiancé.”

  “My friend, then. If you’re okay with me calling you a friend.”

  “Friend works,” Max agreed. He liked the idea of being Connor’s friend. “Fiancé is fine, too, honestly. I’d like to think I’ll be that for someone one day.”

  “Someone will be extremely lucky to have you,” Connor said. “I think we’re done here, your head looks pretty covered.”

  A tiny pang of disappointment hit Max in the stomach at the thought that Connor was going to stop playing with his hair.

  “Cool,” he said, trying not to sound as disappointed as he suddenly felt. “So now…?”

  “Now I order pizza,” Connor said. “Because this was a clever ploy to feed you all along.”

  Max swallowed. “You really don’t have to.”

  “I know I don’t have to,” Connor said. “But I want a pizza, and I can’t eat a whole one by myself. Especially not if I order garlic bread, which I’m planning on. So you have to help me finish it, or it’ll go to waste. Besides, we’re celebrating.”

  Max shifted his weight on the chair. He hated the thought of anyone giving him anything, he wanted to work for it, but… maybe just this once?

  “I guess I could go for pizza,” he said after a moment. “Can I, uh… have a towel, or something? I’m getting kinda cold here.”

  “Oh, of course,” Connor said, grabbing a towel from a rail off to the side. “This should be nice and warm.”

  Connor leaned over to drape the towel over Max’s shoulders, his cheek almost brushing against Max’s as he spread it out.

  The same herbal, citrus scent from before lingered on him. Max turned his head just a little, breathing it in deeply. Connor smelled so good.

  And he was suddenly so, so close to Max’s face. As he pulled back, they were no more than an inch away from each other, his eyes suddenly the most fascinating thing Max had ever seen.

  They were hazel, not brown as he’d originally thought. Green around the very edge, but mostly a warm rust color.

  The thought that he should kiss Connor floated through Max’s mind, half-formed and not all that clear, but definitely there. His heart pounded in his chest, urgent need welling up inside him.

  He wanted to kiss Connor.

  Should he?

  Connor was so close, and so warm, and he smelled amazing. His fingers had felt so good in Max’s hair.

  No one had ever really touched him like that. A low throb of arousal had replaced the knot in his stomach, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it.

  Connor moved away before he could decide whether to kiss him or not. Max shook his head, trying to clear the thought, wondering where the hell it’d come from.

  Being close to him, probably. Max hadn’t been that close to anyone in a long time.

  That was it. He was just reacting to being taken care of, and having a warm body near his.

  It was a weird feeling, but it was just a feeling. It’d pass. He would have forgotten about it by tomorrow.

  “Better?” Connor asked.

  Max swallowed, chasing the last of the feeling away. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

  Connor smiled a bright, warm smile, and backed away. “Come on. I wanna sho
w you the beginning of my mood board for the wedding.”

  Max had no idea what that meant, but the larger space and cooler air of the living room sounded really good right now. The air in the bathroom had gotten hot and close all of a sudden.

  He stood and followed Connor, forcing himself not to touch his hair, and decided not to think about it.

  The feeling was gone now, and it didn’t need to mean anything more than that Max was lonely and liked to be taken care of every now and then.

  That was all it had to be.

  Chapter Nine

  Connor sighed as he rolled over for what felt like the thousandth time, shuffling the blankets and pillows he was surrounded by to get comfy again.

  He was never really a great sleeper, but tonight was rougher than usual. Between all the nervous excitement of the competition and… other things, sleep was proving hard to find.

  Other things being Max. For example, the way Max had relaxed under his hands, his chest rising and falling slowly, the tempting expanse of smooth skin on his chest and back begging for Connor’s touch.

  Not that he would ever have touched Max anywhere he didn’t have permission to, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to run his fingertips down his neck, brush his thumb over Max’s nipple to make it peak, trail his hand lower…

  He’d been dreaming about something like that. Or half-dreaming, anyway, in the strange place between wake and sleep that he’d been in most of the night.

  A glance at his alarm clock told him it was a little after two. Way too early to give up on sleep just yet.

  Connor rolled onto his back, sighing again. He closed his eyes, and his mind brought back the image of Max from his dream. Naked, laying in the bath with his head tilted back, eyes closed, letting Connor bathe him.

  His skin glistened with droplets of water, the low light of scented candles just enough to see by. Max was beautiful like this, soft and relaxed, happy to let himself be taken care of.

  Connor wanted to laugh at himself over this being his fantasy, but… it was. Max was sweet, and needy, and Connor wanted to help him.

  That was his thing. He liked to help. Weddings were the way he’d chosen to make himself useful, but for Max…