Awaken: A Spiral of Bliss Novel (Book Three)

by Lane, Nina

  I get a stack of flyers and go outside just as Dean crosses the street from his parked car. Dressed in old jeans, a sweatshirt, and work boots, he looks both comfortable and worker-guy sexy. He’s looking in the opposite direction, his stride long and confident as he approaches the café.

  My heart does its usual my husband is here! twirl, but beyond that I’m struck by the looseness of Dean’s posture, the relaxed set of his shoulders. He looks at ease, almost untroubled.

  He turns his head, his gaze meeting mine. He gives me that gorgeous, hint-of-wicked grin that makes my breath catch and my body hum.

  “Hi.” He climbs the steps to me and brushes a kiss across my mouth. “You busy for lunch?”

  “Only if you’re offering to take me out.” I eye the streaks of dirt covering his sweatshirt. “Nowhere fancy, I assume.”

  “I was working up at the Butterfly House and got hungry.”

  “So you thought of me?”

  He leans closer to me and murmurs, “I always think of you when I get hungry.”

  I smile and rub my nose against his. “How’s the work going?”

  “Got a whole room full of furniture to go through,” Dean says. “I found a mantel clock that looks like it might be made of rosewood. I told Florence I’d get in touch with some museum curators and send them pictures. See if they can give us an idea of provenance.”

  My heart fills at the undercurrent of enthusiasm in his voice, the evidence that he hasn’t let the loss of his job deter him from his love of all things historical.

  It’s been over two weeks since he sent in his resignation letter, and though he’s still working on the Words and Images conference from home, he only goes to campus to meet with students and help facilitate the transition.

  “I have my last shift at the museum this afternoon,” I say. “Do you want me to tell Florence anything about the Butterfly House, if I see her?”

  “For some reason, she told me to be sure and check the closets.” Dean scratches his head and shrugs. “You can tell her I did that this morning, but didn’t find anything very interesting.”

  “Not like she did,” I mutter.

  “Huh?”

  “I’ll tell her,” I assure him solemnly.

  The front door squeaks open, and Crystal steps onto the porch. An instant freeze coats the air when she and Dean see each other. I put my hand gently on Dean’s arm.

  “Why don’t I just meet you later for dinner at home?” I ask. “We need to distribute some flyers, then I have my museum shift.”

  He nods, his gaze still on Crystal as he steps back to let us both pass.

  “Allie said he quit his job,” she remarks as we walk down the street.

  “Long story,” I reply, keeping my voice casual even though my neck tenses with irritation.

  “Classic story,” she says. “But it sounds like he did the right thing. No sense letting something like that go to court, when he’d be screwed no matter what happened.”

  Though I don’t like Crystal knowing anything about this, even I can admit that she’s right. We distribute flyers to a few downtown stores and coffeehouses, then stop by the Chamber of Commerce to arrange for an announcement on their website.

  We’re heading toward a toy store when I glance across the street and see Maggie Hamilton walking on the opposite sidewalk. My chest fills with anger. I quicken my pace and duck into an alley so she won’t see me, so I won’t have to look at her…

  “Mrs. West!”

  I stop and turn, my hands tightening on the stack of flyers I’m holding. Crystal is a few feet away, watching Maggie as she hurries into the alley after us.

  “What do you want?” I ask.

  Maggie glances from me to Crystal, her mouth compressing. “How did you get that video? How did he?”

  “What video?”

  “You know exactly what video.” She steps forward. Her eyes flash with a hint of panic that I recognize all too well. “I got the email this morning. That coward sent it anonymously, but I know it was from your husband. I swear to God, if he threatens me with that video, my father will kill him.”

  Unease roils inside me. “Dean won’t threaten you with anything, Maggie. He did exactly what you wanted, right? He’ll be done with King’s after the conference.”

  “He’d better be. We know about you and him, Mrs. West. I doubt you were the first student he seduced.”

  I can only shake my head. Though I still hate the implication that my relationship with Dean is somehow immoral, I know the truth of my husband and our marriage. I know the truth of us.

  “So someone sent you an incriminating video of you and Jeffrey Butler, is that it?” I ask Maggie. “My guess is that it was his ex-wife.”

  Maggie pales. Unexpected pity twists in my gut. With the lines of stress around her eyes and mouth, the sharp jut of her cheekbones, she no longer looks young—instead, she looks hollowed-out, like an empty shell.

  “I can’t…” She steps back, her panic deepening. “Jeffrey told me he destroyed all the videos. I know Ben Stafford talked to him, but Jeffrey didn’t tell him anything. He never would.”

  “I don’t think it was him,” I tell her. “His ex-wife said you sent her the videos after Jeffrey refused to divorce her and marry you.”

  Maggie just stares at me.

  “Well, that was stupid,” Crystal remarks.

  My mother’s voice almost startles me, as if I’d forgotten she’s standing right there. Crystal crosses her arms, her blue gaze narrowing on Maggie.

  “Sex videos, right?” she snaps. “You sent them to the guy’s ex-wife? What kind of idiot are you?”

  Maggie swings her gaze from Crystal to me and back again. “I—”

  “Yeah, I know,” Crystal continues. “You’re a young, stupid idiot who really believed that some guy would actually divorce his wife and marry you. Who was he, Liv?”

  “Um… the professor who preceded Dean at King’s.” I’m about as stunned by Crystal’s sudden wrath as Maggie is. “He… he retired.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake.” Crystal steps forward, getting into Maggie’s space and forcing the girl to retreat against the building. “You really thought an old married professor would screw up his life for you? You never figured out that you were just a piece of ass to him?”

  “I loved him!” Maggie cries, tears filling her eyes.

  “Sure you did,” Crystal retorts. “And he said he was in love with you, right? Did he tell you that while you were stripping for him or while he was filming himself fucking you?”

  Maggie starts to cry in earnest, her shoulders shaking. I put my hand on Crystal’s arm, feeling the anger tightening her muscles.

  “Face it, Maggie,” she says, her voice cold. “The bastard used you, and you made things worse by trying to get revenge when you found out he wasn’t the hero you wanted.”

  “You don’t know anything about it!” Maggie wipes her runny nose, her eyes glinting with fury.

  “I do know something about manipulative bastards who want to use you,” Crystal replies. “Men who sweet-talk you while secretly thinking you’re a piece of trash. But I learned early on how to turn the tables, to get what I wanted from them. If this guy seduced you into—”

  “He didn’t!” Maggie snaps. “I was the one who started it. I knew I wasn’t good enough to be in the grad program. I couldn’t understand all the stupid theories and methodologies. But I had to get my masters, and I’m… well, men have always liked me, so I approached Jeffrey and… it started.”

  She swipes at a tear. “But then I started falling in love with him. He made me feel special. So when he tried to break it off and told me he couldn’t be my advisor anymore… I just snapped. If I was going down, then I was taking him with me.”

  “So you broke up his marriage, and for what?” Crystal asks. “Nothing,
right? And when Dean West wouldn’t play the same game, you found another way to threaten him. What the fuck is the matter with you?”

  My heart is hammering. Though I find it hard to believe that my mother would ever defend my husband, the stark truth of her statement echoes in the narrow alley like the ringing of a bell.

  “If I were you, I’d be less worried about your father finding out about this mess than the entire freaking community,” Crystal continues. “One click of a mouse, and that video will end up on countless porn sites. Then what’ll happen to you?”

  Maggie stares at her. Crystal’s arms are crossed, her eyes blue fire. Her skin is flushed with anger, her jaw tight, her hair escaping the clip holding it away from her face.

  For the first time in my life I experience an actual sense of sympathy toward my mother. Because I have the sudden, wrenching suspicion that she knows exactly how Maggie Hamilton feels.

  “I’m not worried about what will happen to me.” Maggie straightens, scrubbing at her eyes as a resolve seems to strengthen her spine. “My father would never believe I did anything wrong.”

  “What about everyone else?” I ask. “What about you?”

  She blinks, as if no one has ever asked her that question. “What about me?”

  “You haven’t wanted to do anything your father has demanded of you,” I remind her. “You’ve gone along with it because you need his money, because you don’t know what else to do. But isn’t it about time you figured it out?”

  “I don’t need your advice,” Maggie retorts. “I’ve never had a choice about what to do.”

  “Of course you have a choice,” I say. “No one knows better than I do that you have a choice.”

  I feel Crystal’s sudden tension. I don’t look at her.

  “You can stay,” I tell Maggie, “and be controlled by your father. Or you can leave and start your own life. A new life.”

  Just like I did.

  “Yeah, right.” Maggie’s expression hardens, as if my words are ricocheting off her. “Is that what your husband is trying to do with his stupid resignation? You think that will get him off the hook?”

  She backs toward the street, her eyes flashing from Crystal to me.

  “My father will destroy you, Mrs. West, if you or your husband threaten me again,” she snaps. “And you’d damn well better hope he doesn’t find out about this.”

  She turns and stalks away. A hush falls in the air.

  “You don’t reason with a girl like that,” Crystal says. “She’ll make the same mistakes until she realizes she’s fucking up her own life.”

  My stomach twists. “Why did you tell her all that?”

  “Because I know what it’s like to be used, and I learned my lesson.” Crystal turns to face me, still rigid with anger. “But you wouldn’t know about that, would you?”

  I stare at her, my heart racing.

  “Oh, I’ve learned lessons, Crystal. Hard ones.”

  “Sure. How not to be like your mother.”

  The years suddenly flash in my mind like a filmstrip. Liv the good girl, the straight-A student, the mouse who barely dated, who kept her head down and did what she was told, who didn’t cause trouble, who was still a virgin at twenty-four. The girl who struggled for so long just to feel normal.

  No. Nothing like Crystal Winter at all.

  “I get it.” I have to swallow hard past the constriction in my throat. “I’ve been humiliated too. I made bad choices that backlashed in ways that almost ruined me. I had to drop out of Fieldbrook because of what happened to me. I broke right in half. And it took me a while, but I finally learned there’s no limit to the number of times you can start again.”

  “Oh, please.” Crystal turns away from me and starts walking.

  “There’s not even a limit for you, Crystal,” I call after her, but she doesn’t break her stride, and I don’t even know if she heard me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Dean

  ve taken down all the boards covering the windows on the first floor of the house. The glass is cracked and filthy, but some sunlight and air now circulate around the rooms. Most of the furniture deserves a second look, so I’ve moved it all into the front room for later study.

  I’m fixing the hinges on the front door when a car pulls up. I stop and approach, extending my hand as Max Lyons gets out of the driver’s seat.

  “Thanks for stopping by,” I tell him as we shake hands. “I wanted your opinion on the building. The Historical Society is trying to have it declared a historical site, but so far they haven’t had much luck.”

  “Allie told me,” Max says. “She said Liv was working on a campaign to save the house.”

  “Unfortunately, it sounds like that will take more money and resources than the Society has.”

  “Too bad.” Max looks up at the house. “I did a paper on this place when I was a grad student. Have a soft spot for it.”

  “Is it salvageable?”

  “Maybe.” He shrugs. “The Historical Society will have to do a structural analysis. It’ll take a lot of money to restore it.”

  We walk around the building. Max talks about the masonry and weathering, the roof pitch, the slate shingles, the original architecture compared to later remodeling.

  “Do you want me to come back and write up a report?” he asks as we return to his car. “I know a structural engineer who can do the analysis, if needed.”

  “That would be great, thanks. I’m here…” Every day now “…a lot, so have them call my cell.”

  He programs my number into his phone just as another car rumbles up the drive, tires digging into the dirt road.

  Shit.

  Kelsey comes to an abrupt halt, getting out of the car and slamming the door. Max takes a step backward. Kelsey stalks toward me, her eyes flashing behind her glasses.

  I hold up my hands in defense. “You told me you were coming back on Thursday. I was going to pick you up at the airport.”

  “I left the conference early to deal with a department screw-up,” she snaps. “I got a ride back with a colleague. What the fuck, Dean?”

  “I wanted to tell you in person.”

  “Well, I found out from the university paper.” Kelsey’s narrow gaze slants to Max. “What are you doing here?”

  “Getting in the way, apparently,” Max replies.

  “Then you should leave,” Kelsey says tartly.

  Max gives me a look that says, Good luck with this one, buddy. Then he gets in his car and maneuvers back down the driveway.

  “Kelsey, I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. I had a whole speech planned for when I picked you up at the airport.”

  She crosses her arms, vibrating with anger. “So tell me now.”

  “I had to resign because the Office of Judicial Affairs was investigating a sexual harassment charge against me.”

  She blinks. “That’s a joke, right?”

  I shake my head.

  Her face drains of color. “You’re going to have to explain this in great detail.”

  We sit down on one of the porch steps, and I tell her the whole story, starting with my rejection of Maggie Hamilton’s thesis proposal.

  “I couldn’t tell you,” I say. “The OJA kept it confidential, and we weren’t supposed to talk to anyone about it.”

  “Dean, this is totally fucked-up. You can’t resign because some little bitch lied about you.”

  “I already did,” I tell her. “And it wasn’t just because of the lie. Edward Hamilton was going after Liv. I’d…”

  There’s no telling what I’d do. And Kelsey knows it.

  She shakes her head. “Well, shit.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How’s Liv?”

  “Upset, but… she gets it. Hardest part was tellin
g her and my students.”

  We sit in silence for a while. A few birds chirp in the trees. Finally Kelsey squeezes my arm and shoves off the step.

  “Racquetball tomorrow afternoon?” she asks. “I guess you have plenty of time on your hands now.”

  I almost smile. “Yeah, sure.”

  “Okay.” She takes a few steps before turning back to face me. “Hey, it’s horrible. I’m sorry. I wish there was… well, it bites the big one.”

  “Yes, it does. But…” I rest my elbows on my knees and look past her to the view of downtown, the clear blue lake. “It’s kind of okay, Kels, you know? Like I did the right thing. I protected Liv. My reputation is intact. I’ll finish my work on the dig. I can still do independent study work, write my book. I’ll get another job one day.”

  “But you still hate that you were forced into it.”

  “I hate that it’s affecting my students, but it would have been worse if they’d had to deal with the investigation and been asked if I harassed them. My colleagues too. My whole reputation, my life, would have been shot to hell if this all went public, resignation or not. And then if Liv… well.”

  I stare at the lake. “I’d do anything for her, Kelsey. Anything. It’s insane how much I love her. And losing my job is nothing compared to… to her.”

  “I know. She feels the same way about you.” Kelsey studies me for a minute. “Hey, remember when I kissed you last fall?”

  “How can I forget?” I mutter. “It’s like a bad horror movie. The Attack of the Venomous Pit Viper.”

  A grin cracks her face. “You know, when I told Liv about it, she laughed.”

  “Of course she did. It was so bad it was funny.”

  “My point,” Kelsey continues dryly, “is that she didn’t freak out like most women would have. It wouldn’t have occurred to her to be threatened by that. Even though she had a shitty time as a kid, and her mother is a head case, Liv just… she knows you. She knows me. It’s kind of amazing that she has this… I don’t know… total trust in the people she loves.”

  “Yeah. It is kind of amazing.”

  “I’ve always wished I was a little more like her.” Kelsey backs up a few steps. “But don’t tell her I said that. She’d start crying.”