Take Your Time

by VK Powell

  “And the other part?”

  “The B and B is home. I want to eventually put down roots here. Maybe even have a family.” Grace grabbed several sweet potato fries and nibbled. “Do you have any childhood habits that remind you of your parents?”

  “You mean other than self-preservation?” She hesitated, unsure if she should or even could say more about her pathetic upbringing. Recalling those times made her sick and weak, but Grace gave her courage to face them. She took a deep breath and steadied her voice. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

  “More than anything.”

  “My childhood home in the city was a series of crack houses and apartments shared with other addicts. The cops raided our place one night looking for drugs, ripped up furniture, and broke dishes. I was just a kid. They dumped my cereal out of the box all over the floor.” Dani paused until the lump in her throat eased. “That was all I had to eat when my parents were drugged out.”

  “Oh, Dani.” Grace’s shocked voice was a whisper.

  “And then,” Dani sounded like the scared little girl she’d been that night, “they tore apart my stuffed giraffe and left his guts everywhere.” Dani clasped her hands together until her knuckles turned white.

  “I’m so sorry, Dani. No wonder you hate cops.”

  “I was twelve when we moved from the city into subsidized housing in a smaller town. I hoped for a fresh start, but my mother felt isolated with Dad looking for work all the time. He brought pills home to help her relax at first, but gradually the drugs replaced everything, and they forgot about work and me altogether. I left home at sixteen, and their addictions killed them.” She forced it all out and waited for the look of pity in Grace’s eyes, but it didn’t come.

  “Well, at least you didn’t pick up those habits, right? You obviously have a lot of drive and determination.”

  Grace nudged her shoulder, and Dani did something she never imagined doing when she talked about her family—she laughed until tears streamed down her face. Her shoulders relaxed and she felt lighter. When she finally stopped laughing and wiped her eyes, she leaned over and kissed Grace. “Thanks. Guess I really needed to purge.”

  “That must’ve been a hard way to grow up. I am sorry about your folks and the things you missed.”

  “Thanks,” Dani said.

  “One more question?”

  “Depends.” Maybe this talking stuff wasn’t so bad after all. Was this intimacy? Dani often wondered if she’d ever meet a woman she’d share her stories with and love enough to make sacrifices for. If that woman was Grace, Dani had to risk being totally honest.

  “How did your childhood affect how you live your life now?”

  “My parents taught me how to hide in the anonymity of the city, dull my feelings with the anesthesia of choice—which in my case was sex—and keep so busy that none of it ever catches up to me. The only thing I really learned was to avoid drugs and personal connections because one way or another they cause pain.” Except for her career, she’d summed up the entirety of her life in two sentences. Way too much information. Grace seemed to be thinking about what Dani said, quietly studying her face.

  “I’m really sorry, Dani.” A progression of emotions played across Dani’s face when she talked about her parents—fear, shame, embarrassment, anger, and finally relief. She was heartbreakingly sad, and her expression was like the one Grace had seen with Mary Jane. “Were you and MJ talking about your parents in the kitchen earlier?”

  “My grandmother. She was my only close relative, but I didn’t see her much because she lived far away. When I did visit, she tried to make up for all the crap in my life. We’d go to the lake for a picnic, or I’d help care for her menagerie of strays, sometimes for her…if she needed me. Other times we’d just sit and talk about life and what I could expect along the way. She helped me win my first girlfriend’s heart when I was fifteen. Gran said a home and relationships were the key to happiness…” Her voice cracked. “But I never found that key.”

  “So, she’s the reason you became a vet?”

  “Probably. Her backyard was a zoo of cats, dogs, birds, and wildlife she’d taken in to nurse back to health or just feed, and I loved helping, feeling needed. I couldn’t have a pet in the apartment.”

  “Sounds like an exceptional woman.”

  “She was, but I didn’t even know the right questions to ask at fifteen. I’d probably be a better person if I’d had her guidance a bit longer. I still don’t know much about relationships.”

  The sadness in Dani’s voice wrenched Grace’s heart. She moved their plates aside and shifted in front of Dani. “What don’t you know?”

  Dani edged closer until their knees touched and took Grace’s hands. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, so bear with me, Grace.” Dani clenched her jaw several times before gathering enough courage to speak again. “I like you and I know I haven’t done a very good job of showing it. You’re fun to be around, easy to talk to, a great kisser, and you’re damn gorgeous, not to mention smart, accomplished, and compassionate.”

  “You better stop, or I’ll start believing you. Where’s the but in this scenario?” Grace thumbed the back of Dani’s hands, encouraging her to continue.

  “I don’t know how to give you what you want. I don’t have a role model for long-term relationships. I’ve never had one myself. And the need for deep conversation escapes me. What’s the purpose anyway, to expose your weaknesses so someone else can exploit them?”

  “Not if you’re lucky. Haven’t you ever heard that two share the pain and disappointments of life and double the fun? If you find someone who’s strong where you aren’t and vice versa, it’s a gift.” She rubbed her hands back and forth on Dani’s thighs until she looked at her again. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I’m just interested in you, in everything about you.” Her words registered on Dani’s face like a splash of ice water.

  Dani straightened and pulled away from Grace. “What if you don’t like what you find?”

  “I’m an excellent judge of character. You’re a good person, Dani Wingate, but for some reason you don’t want others to see that side of you.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “You gave money to a homeless man, tried to save me from what you thought was an angry biker, animals love you, and we all know they have great instincts. You’ve spent your off time figuring out what’s wrong with Harry. And you’re constantly warning me to stay away from you so I won’t get hurt.”

  Dani rolled off her cushion and stood. “And maybe you’re just seeing what you want to see. Maybe you should find someone who can give you the stability you want. Why would you settle for less?” She waved her hand at the discarded plates and said, “Thanks for dinner…and the chat. I’ll see you around?”

  “Wait. What? You’ll see me around?” The transition from intimate conversation and kissing to total shutdown had been a matter of seconds, and Grace felt the loss acutely. “What did I say wrong?”

  “Nothing. This just isn’t a good idea.” Dani didn’t wait for her to say anything else.

  The cottage door closed softly behind her, and the room was too quiet and empty. Grace heard the disappointment in her own voice when Dani withdrew. Was she imagining a connection between them, heading down a familiar road with a woman who had no long-term potential? Her heart said no, but she’d pushed Dani outside of her comfort zone.

  Grace ran her fingers across lips that still burned from Dani’s kisses and hugged herself against the absence of Dani’s touch. She wanted to understand what had gone wrong. She’d gotten a glimpse of the real Dani Wingate and was hooked. Would Dani take the time to recognize and accept the bond between them?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Dani locked the clinic for the day and walked toward her car. She’d showered and changed for her trip to a gay-friendly bar in Savannah. Dancing always took her mind off things. Tonight, it would be Grace and the constant urge to see he
r again. Grace’s delicate handling of their dinner conversation about family and life desires had summoned things from her she hadn’t intended to share. Had she already given Grace the ammunition to hurt her?

  With every mile toward Savannah, Dani became less excited about the night ahead. She struggled between going back to Pine Cone, finding Grace, and spending the night with her, and getting as far away as possible. Grace stirred desires Dani didn’t understand—taking a walk just to enjoy the scenery; sharing a drink on the B and B patio with a crazy parrot squawking in the background; attending a neighborhood cookout; sitting on the floor talking; kissing and more kissing, even if it didn’t lead to sex. Grace was seeping into her pores and slowly changing her from a loner to a more engaged person, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  She parked across the street from the club’s glass façade and shook her head to dislodge her unsettling feelings. Waiting for the line to clear, she scored the steady stream of women entering the club. A curvy redhead wearing an emerald-colored version of a little black dress caught her eye. She had great legs and her hair swung loose at her shoulders. She looked so much like Grace that Dani’s stomach clenched and she did a double take. It was Grace. And a butch blonde with spiked hair wearing black leather had her hand firmly in the small of Grace’s back ushering her into the club. The woman from Trip’s cookout, the same woman Grace had held and comforted.

  Dani gripped the steering wheel with both hands, willing the image to disappear. She reached for the door handle, released it, started the car, and then turned it off again. She shouldn’t be here. Going after Grace or even watching her from a distance felt stalkerish but sitting in the parking lot waiting for her to come out again or leaving felt wrong too. She got out of the car, closed the door, and leaned against the side, weighing her options. A few minutes of dancing to let off some steam couldn’t hurt. She had just as much right to be here as Grace.

  Dani bolted through the parking lot, flashed her ID, and hurried into the club, but the change in lighting from the outside temporarily blinded her. She stepped to the side, and when she could see clearly again, scanned the ultra-modern interior, the blue-lit bar, and large dance floor, but Grace and her escort had vanished. Dani’s chest tightened. What was happening to her? Grace had every right to date other women. So why was Dani so upset?

  She moved to the bar and got a beer, refusing to think about what her erratic behavior meant. She was here for a diversion…and apparently so was Grace. Dani circled the club and stopped in the back with a view of the entire space. She downed her beer in a few gulps and ordered another from a passing waiter, the whole time surveying the interior for Grace. A couple of women made eye contact, but she quickly looked away, suddenly having no interest in her initial reason for coming here.

  Then she spotted Grace in the middle of the dance floor a few inches from her date, moving to the rugged repetitive beat of DJ-blended dance music. Grace looked free, happy, and engaged in her surroundings, and Dani’s heartbeat faltered. The times she’d spent with Grace—sharing breakfast at the diner, talking on the street, discussing relationships, or kissing—she’d been totally focused on her. Dani ached for their closeness again, for the touch of Grace’s hand, the softness of her lips, her undivided attention. She’d blown her chance because of fear.

  The music in the club changed from the teeth-rattling dance tune to a softer, more romantic one, and Dani’s stomach churned. Grace’s date stepped closer, slid her arm around Grace’s waist, and pulled their bodies together. Dani heated at the thought of dancing with Grace, feeling the press of her full breasts against her chest and the slide of Grace’s leg between her thighs. The image shattered as the blonde made the same moves, and Dani looked away. She’d pushed Grace into another woman’s arms and couldn’t bear to see and feel the results of her stupidity. Every stroke of the blonde’s hands over Grace’s body was like her own skin peeling off in layers.

  She pushed off the wall and started toward them, her eyes totally focused on the lack of space between Grace and the blonde. Halfway across the dance floor, the sound of Grace’s laughter cut through the music, and Dani stopped. One of the blonde’s hands rested on Grace’s shoulder and the other at her waist. Grace was having a good time. She enjoyed the blonde touching her. Dani needed to be anywhere but here. She looked around for an escape route, but the crowd pushed in on her.

  She struggled to free herself from the mass of swaying bodies when a brunette shoved her way through the dancers, yelling and waving her arms, and headed straight toward Grace. Dani surged forward to get between them, but the tightly packed crowd pushed her back. The brunette shoved Grace and threw herself in the blonde’s arms and entwined their legs. The blonde seemed temporarily shocked but recovered quickly and gave Grace a what-can-I-do shrug. “Real classy, stud,” Dani said, trying again to get through the crowd, but was once more blocked. She danced around couples and finally made her way to the edge of the dance floor, but Grace was moving in the opposite direction.

  And why shouldn’t Grace get as far away from her as possible? She was kind, compassionate, and totally knew what she wanted out of life and deserved a woman who could give it to her. Not Dani. At that moment, she hated her weakness. She gave Grace one last longing glance before slinking back to her dark corner.

  * * *

  “A little air, please?” Grace pulled out of Jay’s arms to put some space between them on the dance floor. “You asked me out as friends. I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “Sorry, Grace. You just look so damn sexy in that dress. What do you expect?”

  “A little respect, maybe?” Grace mumbled under her breath. She shouldn’t have agreed to go out with Jay before she’d gotten over Cynthia. Pity dates often ended badly. The only woman Grace wanted to be this close to rejected her. Why had she thought going out with another spurned soul would be a good idea?

  “We could dance until daybreak. I love dancing, don’t you?” Jay yelled.

  “Some of us have to work.” Grace wasn’t about to admit she had the next two days off or she wouldn’t be in the bar on a Wednesday night. She allowed Jay to twirl her around the small space they’d claimed as the song ended.

  She scanned the congested dance wondering if Dani might be here, and praying she wasn’t with another woman. Hypocritical much? The parts of the club surrounding the lighted stage were dark and picking out anyone specific would be impossible, but that didn’t stop her from trying. What she’d do if she saw Dani wasn’t entirely clear.

  Jay leaned closer and yelled, “Looking for someone special?”

  “Not really, just looking.”

  “She prefers another club. That’s why I chose this one.”

  “Who?” Grace tried to sound uninterested, but her body tingled at the possibility of any information about Dani.

  “Dr. Wingate.”

  “Jay, really I—”

  “You don’t have to pretend with me, Grace. I know what it’s like to want someone who doesn’t want you. Sucks.”

  Grace shook her head and pretended she couldn’t hear, but the statement was one more of the stack of reasons she and Dani wouldn’t be together. Dani didn’t want her.

  “So, are you seeing someone?” Jay asked a bit louder.

  Grace shook her head, hoping to end the line of questions heading down a road she didn’t want to take.

  “Do you think maybe you and me…”

  “What?” She pointed to her ears and shook her head again. Jay didn’t need another rejection right now, and Grace didn’t want to deliver one.

  “Love this song, don’t you?” Jay asked.

  The music changed to a slow tune, and Grace groaned and looked toward the ceiling. “Why are you doing this to me?” She started to leave the dance floor, but Jay caught her hand and pulled her back.

  “Stay. Please. Just one slow dance?”

  “Jay, I don’t think—”

  “Just one?” Jay offered her hand and sl
id her arm around Grace’s waist.

  Grace let herself be pulled into Jay’s arms but said loudly enough to make sure Jay heard, “Only one. I don’t want you or anyone else getting the wrong idea.”

  Jay nodded and led her in exaggerated dance moves, weaving between the other couples. She really was quite a good dancer, and in a few minutes, Grace relaxed and laughed at her flamboyant antics.

  “Very smooth. I can see why you’re so popular with the girls.”

  Jay’s genuine smile was worth Grace’s discomfort. “I do my best, Grace.”

  The slow song was almost over when Grace spotted Cynthia elbowing through the crowd toward them. “Heads up, your ex is on her way.”

  “Oh shit. I’m sorry for what’s about to happen, Grace. Cyn has a jealous streak.”

  Jay’s satisfied grin indicated she wasn’t quite as sorry as she said. Grace stopped dancing and stared at her. “You knew she was going to be here?”

  Jay’s face turned a deep shade of red that was visible even under the changing dance lights. “Maybe?”

  “Seriously?”

  “Turnabout is fair play, right?”

  Grace started to object, but she’d used Jay as a teaser to get a rise out of Dani at Trip’s party. “Fair point.” She nudged Jay toward the approaching Cynthia. “Don’t worry about me. If you love her, work it out. I’ll get a ride home.” She barely got the words out before Cynthia shoved her away and wrapped her arms and legs around Jay.

  “Get your mitts off my lover. She’s spoken for.”

  Raising her hands, Grace backed up. “We’re just dancing.”

  She waited a few seconds to make sure Jay was okay and then followed the path Cynthia had made through the crowd toward the bar, dancers closing the space behind her as she moved. She edged between two men at the long counter, ordered a glass of merlot, and left it on the bar while she watched Jay and Cynthia dance. They appeared to be very much in love but looks were deceiving. She thought she’d seen a look of love or at least deep affection in Dani’s eyes. Maybe it was time to let go of that dream. She was ready to settle down, and Dani wasn’t at the same place in her life.