by Naomi Amanda
“It’s not your fault,” I begged her to believe me. “I didn’t try hard enough to avoid him and honestly? I kind of did like having him around.”
Her eyes lit up just a bit and she forced a smile. “So what do you want to do?”
“We can’t do anything,” I answered honestly. “I’m just counting the days until I can leave for college.”
“And Susan will let you leave?” Marika questioned. “Doesn’t look like she cares about what you want.”
“I’m sure she’d love if I was that far away from home.” I let out a short humorless laugh. “So she can play pretend family with my father and Cody. A life without me or any reminder that my father loved another woman.”
“So we try to keep you out of things that will get you in trouble with her,” Laura decided. “Even if that means staying away from Logan-”
“Laur?” I whispered and she looked at me, raising an eyebrow. “Thank you. And thank you, Marika and Ava. I need you guys by my side.”
I decided that I would talk to Laura in private about everything. Now that the cat was out of the bag, I had a number of things I wanted to tell her about. How I felt about Logan. Exactly why I couldn’t open my mouth about what Susan was putting me through. How I didn’t want to live my life on Susan’s terms.
“How about I drop you home?” Laura asked, taking my hand from Ava. “We’ll call up my parents and ask them to talk to Susan about the sleepover for the weekend. You guys are in, right?”
Marika and Ava nodded, looking excited already.
“Come on, let’s go.” She helped me up and I pulled her into a hug before she could move. “Aww, I love you, babe, but you smell like puke.”
I laughed, letting her go quickly and she grinned at me. She linked her hand through mine and we said our goodbyes to Marika and Ava, asking Marika to let the rest of the team know that we had left.
And suddenly, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could survive whatever Susan threw at me.
Chapter 9
Laura managed to convince Susan to let her pick me up after the party at the Kendall’s on Saturday for her sleepover weekend. Well, technically speaking, Laura’s parents did the convincing but whatever, she had agreed to it and that was all that mattered to me. I was going to get a weekend free of verbal and physical abuses and chores.
Susan cursed me through the week as she usually did but she refrained from physical abuses since she didn’t want any bruises and cuts to be visible to everyone at the party on Saturday.
But what hurt more than Susan’s curses and abuses was the fact that Logan really did keep to his word. He ignored me through the week, occupying seats which were on the complete opposite end of the classrooms. He avoided me in the hallways and went straight home after school instead of watching the cheerleading practices like he used to.
On Saturday evening, Susan allowed Laura to come over and help me pack. But I knew that Susan trusted Laura would make me look suitable for the party. Guess she thought I’d dress too inappropriately and embarrass them.
“I brought you something to wear,” Laura said as soon as we had gotten away from Susan’s fake smiles and sickeningly sweet voice. “I’ll do your hair and make-up, too.”
“I thought you came here to help me pack even though I don’t need it,” I joked, placing three pairs of underwear and my pajamas in a duffle.
“You know I wouldn’t miss a chance to dress you up.” She grinned, pulling out a pretty dark blue dress from a paper bag. “Come on-”
“Aren’t Marika and Ava going to be at your house soon?” I asked her even though I was extremely thankful for her presence.
“Mom will keep them entertained,” she answered simply. “Now put this dress on so I can start with your hair and make-up.”
Sighing, I shoved a pair of jeans, a skirt and a pair of shorts into my duffle. I then added three tops that looked good with all three of the bottoms I had picked. After I finished packing the rest of my things, Laura shoved the dress into my hands.
I stripped in front of her and she tsked at me.
“Take off the bra,” she told me. “You don’t need it and it’ll ruin the look of the dress.”
“Way to tell me that I’m flat chested.” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She giggled. “I just meant that the dress could hold your boobs up. It’s padded. Even I didn’t wear a bra with that dress.”
She turned around as I unhooked my bra and slipped the dress over my head.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked her as I eased into the dress.
The dress somehow fit me perfectly, except the chest. Laura had a bigger chest so it was a little loose on me. The rest of the dress fit me like a glove, tight at the waist and butt and then flowing around my legs.
“Since when do you ask?” she asked with a short laugh.
“I kind of hate myself for yelling at Logan the way I did,” I said so softly, it was a wonder she heard me.
“What-” She turned around and gasped, covering her mouth with her perfectly manicured hands. “You look so beautiful and I haven’t even started on you yet.”
“You think so?” I asked her, giving her a little twirl, making the long skirt of the dress swish around my legs. “I feel pretty in this dress but I feel like it’s going to fall off.” I felt myself blush for admitting it out loud.
“It won’t,” she assured me even though the dress was off shouldered; thin silky cloth circling around my upper arms which exposed my collar bones in the front and my shoulder blades at the back, luckily not exposing any scars. “The sweet heart neck line really does suit you. Now let me get started on hair and make-up or you’ll be late.”
I inserted my iPod in the doc and started the music, hoping I could talk to Laura about my feelings freely if the music drowned out our voices just in case Susan was outside, eavesdropping. Laura grinned and started moving to the music before sitting me down in front of my vanity mirror.
“So what were you telling me?” she asked, running a comb through my semi-wet hair. “You feel bad about yelling at Logan?”
I nodded, trying to sit still even though I wasn’t very used to having someone comb my hair for me. When I was younger, I had been jealous of the way Laura’s mother combed her hair and styled it so cutely, went shopping with her and helped her pick what to wear.
I had spent a lot of time crying as a child and now, I could barely remember why. Maybe it was because I didn’t know who my real mom was. You can’t miss someone you’ve never met, right?
“I think I was out of line,” I murmured. “Is it wrong for me to feel bad that he’s ignoring me?”
“It wasn’t completely your fault,” she assured me but her words didn’t seem to comfort me like I wished they would. “I mean, you were sick, irritable and stressed out. You had Susan’s evil voice in your head. I still see the way he sneaks looks at you when you’re not paying attention. He feels bad, too.”
“Feels bad that the little girl he used to know turned into such a bitch?” I asked and heard her choke back a giggle. “It’s not funny. I feel terrible. Honestly, he’s the first guy in school I actually want to be friends with.”
“What about Dayle? And the guy who stuck a love letter in your locker?” she mocked and I sighed as she started blow drying my hair straight.
“I don’t even know who that guy is and Dayle’s too much of an idiot, no offence,” I told her.
“Why would I take offence?” she asked and I turned around slightly to shoot her a questioning look. “Okay, so between you and your secret and Marika and Ava’s shocking new friendship, I forgot to mention that Dayle and I broke up.”
“What?” I demanded, turning around fully, making it impossible for her to continue on my hair. “Why? What happened? What did he do?”
“He didn’t do anything.” She sighed and looked away, her gaze anywhere but on me. “It’s more like what he didn’t do.”
&nbs
p; “Spill,” I snapped and her frown deepened.
“Fine, I’ll tell you! Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” She grinned, trying to lighten the mood. “He was too busy with his friends all the time. Bro code and all that shit. We barely spent any time together out of school and now football practice and our practice are going to get a hell of a lot strenuous.”
“You’re not telling me something.” I shook my head, refusing to believe that her explanation was all there was to it. “You’ve told me about all your hook-ups but you’ve only told Marika about two guys – your first ever relationship and Dayle. That’s enough to say that you were serious about him. I mean, you’ve been pursuing him for months.”
“I was pursuing him because he’s the star quarterback, he’s hot and he liked me so he was good to me,” she told me as if those things didn’t matter at all. “But we started to lose that spark because he was so busy all the time. And I need my – you know?”
Realization dawned on me and I chewed my lower lip. Laura squirmed under my scrutinizing look.
“So this is about sex?” I asked and she looked away, the side of her lip twitching. “Laur, you broke up with him because he wouldn’t get physical with you?”
“It’s not that he wouldn’t have sex with me,” she said, shaking her head. “He just barely had time to do anything with me and I like to feel my heart flutter, okay?”
I bit down my tongue to keep myself from saying anything. I had known Laura for many years and even though Susan controlled most of my life, I had seen all the changes Laura had gone through. She was still the sweet, little princess she had been since she was a kid, except that she had most of the male population swooning over her. And one time too many, she gave into them – just for fun.
“So I like sex,” she nearly exclaimed and I shushed her, glad that I had turned the music on loud. “Sue me.”
“I just might,” I snapped jokingly. “If you scream that out loud in my house again.”
“Sorry, forgot that we weren’t alone.” She laughed awkwardly and then forcefully turned me around again so she could finish styling my hair. “But if the three of you are going to this party, who’s taking care of Cody?”
“She left him at some relative’s house,” I explained. “And I’ll be coming home with you and she’ll be spending the weekend with her family.”
“Great,” she deadpanned. “Now turn around so I can do your make-up. And don’t forget to pack your make-up when we’re done.”
“Why would I need make-up for a sleepover?” I asked and she grinned evilly.
“Actually, screw it,” she told me, starting on my face. “I have enough make-up and clothes for both of us.”
I shot her a questioning look but she glared at me for opening my eyes so I closed them again. We spent the rest of the fifteen minutes in silence, an upbeat pop song playing in the background.
Laura lent me the most beautiful heels she owned which were six inch stiletto heels, the same royal blue as the dress. What was so beautiful about them were the silver vines and leaves that made its way up the heels of the shoes and around the body of it. I told her that I’d rather wear something of my own, afraid to ruin her beautiful heels but she refused to let me out of my room with anything else.
When she was done with dressing me up, she took me to the living room. She asked Susan for her opinion as if she really cared about it or her approval. But Laura was a good actress and I respected her for it. Susan would never think that she knew what a monster she was.
Susan approved of the dress, probably because it covered my legs completely. My hair which Laura had styled in a pretty French braid and the light make-up wasn’t too ‘vulgar’ for her. Once Susan and my father were ready in their formal attire, we left the house. Laura dumped my duffle in the trunk of her car and said her goodbyes before driving off, promising to pick me up after the party.
I got into the backseat of my fathers’ car, being careful so I wouldn’t stamp on the dress or twist my ankle and shut the door.
As soon as he started driving, I felt Susan’s stone cold eyes on me in the review mirror.
“You better not embarrass us,” the words seethed through her mouth. “Your father needs this so you better stay on your best behavior and make yourself invisible if possible.”
I nodded, unable to speak. I willed my father to say something; to tell her to stop or to tell me that it was okay but he didn’t. So when she diverted her gaze to the road in front of her, I stared out of the window and prayed for the night to be over quickly.
God knew it was going to be the longest night of my life. Susan being the monster she was and Logan ignoring me the way he was. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to get through it without losing my mind.
Chapter 10
Arriving and stepping out of the car in front of Logan’s family’s lake house felt like stepping into a fairytale. It looked like a mansion made of white washed bricks, marble, cobblestoned walkways and a distinct blue roof.
We were greeted at the entrance by a tall, well-built man with slightly greying black hair, wearing an expensive looking tux. He had his arm wrapped around a beautiful woman in an expensive red dress and long brown hair. It was when I looked into her beautiful misty grey eyes that I recognized them as Logan’s parents.
He had obviously gotten his handsome looks from his father – the same jaw and height. His striking eyes were curtsey of his mother who just happened to be the most beautiful lady I had ever seen in my life. She didn’t look a day over 30, which was saying something because Susan looked like an old hag unless she slathered on hundred pounds of make-up.
“Mr. and Mrs. Fator!" Mrs. Kendall gushed, shaking their hands in turn. “We’re glad you could make it!”
“It’s nice to see you again.” My father shook her hand and then Mr. Kendall’s hand. “It’s been long since your family moved away.”
“But we missed it so much so we just had to move back,” Mrs. Kendall gushed and I felt myself shrink into the shadows, feeling invisible which was exactly what Susan wanted.
“And my job had a little to do with it.” Mr. Kendall laughed and I suddenly felt a pang of hurt, wondering how everyone I knew were so lucky to have amazing parents.
“Oh my! Is that Cheyenne?” Mrs. Kendall’s eyes widened in surprise and Susan stepped aside as she took my hands in hers. “You’ve grown up to be such a beautiful girl! I’m so happy you came!”
“Thank you,” I murmured, feeling my cheeks burn with her compliment. “I’m glad to be here.”
“Son!” Mr. Kendall exclaimed into the house. “Come greet your friend’s family.”
I tried my hardest to keep a straight face as Logan came into view, wearing a suit and tie and looking older than he really was. I tried not to duck my head in embarrassment as his eyes roamed over my body.
“It’s nice to see you again,” he said politely, shaking Susan and my father’s hands. “Nice to finally talk to you, Cheyenne.”
My eyes darted to his which were devoid of emotion and felt my racing heart plummet to its death. He was acting like we hadn’t spoken at all since he moved back but maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it would clear Susan’s suspicions about me sticking to him or trying to get in his pants to ruin my father’s career. I wasn’t sure why he was trying to help me though. Did he really know about Susan? And even if he did, why would he try to help me after what I had said to him?
“You haven’t spoken to her?” Mrs. Kendall sounded kind of disappointed.
“No, we’re just in a few classes together,” he answered quickly, dragging his eyes off me and focusing on his mother. “We haven’t gotten a chance to talk.”
I felt Susan’s hard gaze on me but I tried not to flinch. Did she believe his words or did she suspect that he knew something?
After that awkward conversation, we headed inside and my father and Susan headed off to socialize. Susan hissed in my ear not to embarrass them one last time before sauntering off a
s if she was the most important person in the room.
I greeted everyone with my plastered-on fake smile, trying to stay out of conversations. I only drank sparkling water or orange juice and ate appetizers that were served to me. I tried my hardest to stay out of Susan’s line of sight and tried even harder not to be on the lookout for Logan. I had no right to search for him. He probably hated me.
After what felt like several hours but according to my phone was only half an hour, I decided to find a bathroom. I casually asked one of the staff, hoping they would point me to a bathroom on another end of the house so that I wouldn’t bump into any more people.
“Go through those doors,” one of the waiters told me. “There are two bathrooms on either side of the halls and there are four more upstairs.”
I gaped at him for several seconds before he turned around and went back to serving his canapes of food.
Sighing to myself, I decided to take his advice and headed out the double doors when I was sure that Susan wasn’t watching me. It wasn’t hard to find the washrooms since a lady in a shiny blue dress was standing in front of one, talking to Logan’s father. Suddenly, I didn’t feel like going to the washroom. I needed some air. I casually walked past them but Mr. Kendall noticed me.
“Boring, isn’t it?” he asked me and I quickly shook my head in disagreement. “It’s okay. You’re too young to enjoy this kind of setting,” He laughed and I nervously giggled with him. “Were you looking for Logan?”
“N-no,” I stammered quickly. “I just needed some air-”
“Would you like to see the lake?” He smiled and I forced one back, nodding.
How I wished my father was more like him. He seemed to give me more attention than my father ever had in the seventeen years of my existence.
Mr. Kendall pointed me toward a door which probably led outside. Then he got whisked away by another couple. So I quickly made my escape out of the door he had pointed to but stopped short just as it clicked shut behind me.