by A. C. Wilson
“What’s wrong?” A soft, sleep-roughened voice came from beside him. Garrett jumped at the sudden jerk from his inner perusal and then drew his arm slowly off his eyes. “Regrets already? I thought you were all for no strings attached?” Her words came as more of an accusation than a general question. Garrett felt put on the spot and he didn’t like the crawling unease that navigated his spine. He pursed his lips together and looked down at the raven-haired beauty. His heart squeezed. Her golden eyes were half lidded and her lips were pressed firmly into a line.
“I was thinking about all the work you have to do here and I can’t leave you alone to do it. Your ankle won’t be up to the strain.” Garrett side-stepped the true question and he could tell that she wasn’t satisfied with his answer. Still he couldn’t bring himself to completely lie to her either.
“I don’t plan on staying long. Just enough time to put things in order and sell the place.” Rayne struggled to sit up as she wrestled with the quilt’s precarious position that just barely covered her breasts. Her defensive answer to his mention of her staying on the ranch was interesting.
“Well it turns out I am due some vacation time and you need some help. So I am at your service. We should be able to get things to rights by Christmas, I imagine.” Garrett continued to lounge against the pillows, liking the side view of her lovely breasts. Soft, creamy skin that filled his hand to perfection.
Ugh! Stop it, stupid man! She could very well drive him nuts before Christmas.
“Four weeks. I had hoped to be gone before then, but you’re right. I can’t do most of what needs to be done around here, especially not hobbled like I am.” She took a deep breath and nodded. “I accept, but you have to let me compensate you in some way.” Her cheeks colored and he laughed out loud. The laughter just bubbled out and he couldn’t stop it. Soon she giggled as well.
She’s beautiful when she laughs! Garrett acknowledged that truth. Rayne was absolutely breathtaking when she was happy and naked. Grinning he vowed to see her just that way a few more times before he parted from her. Ruthlessly he ignored the warning alarms that rang in his head.
“As a matter of fact, I could use a place to stay. I’m not yet ready to go home. So shall we trade my labor and expertise for a room and board?” He thought for a second he saw a flash of disappointment. A lingering glance had him thinking he was grasping at straws. She wanted the physical without the emotional. She wouldn’t be disappointed that he hadn’t mentioned sleeping with her as a price of his help. Hell, honestly it would have felt cheap to have included something so amazing into a working agreement. He wanted her to come to him freely and not because it was part of a deal.
“Sounds fair. Thank you.” Rayne pulled the cover up closer to her neck and picked at the patchwork. Garrett watched her fingers running along the stitching of red, blue, and yellow quilt. The fabric was worn and faded with age.
“It’s a good bit of work. Who made it?” He watched a shadow pull over her eyes, those expressive windows to a soul that was as intriguing as the best mystery. Her fingers slipped from the blanket and it fell to rest just above her breasts. The flash of bare skin distracted him for a minute.
“It was made by my great grandmother. This was my mother’s favorite quilt. She always made sure it was on their bed.” Rayne blinked quickly and turned her head to the side. Garrett felt his heart squeeze at the admission. Her mother was dead. It seemed there were more than his ghosts to fight.
“How old were you?” He pressed his palm against her back, feeling her muscles jump at his touch. The fire had all but gone out in the hearth and even the chill in the room was nothing compared to the frozen tundra that fell about her. He suppressed a shiver.
“Twelve.” Her words were clipped and tight. Whatever warmth that had been there in her supple body was gone with the sweep of that word. He was sad to see it go.
Truly.
~~~
She woke up to hearing him groan, his arm thrown over his eyes and she just knew he was regretting all that had happened between them last night. She felt the twisting of that knowledge in her gut. If she were in favor of any self-preservation, she should have regretted it as well. She didn’t. She knew there was something here between them and it commanded their attention with ease. That part of it scared the hell out of her. Rayne knew the pitfalls of falling for someone so quickly. Feelings changed, friendships diminished, dreams were dashed and hearts were broken.
Oh but wouldn’t it be incredible to go up in those flames! She’d had to battle back a rampant surge of lust, pure and powerful. The boil in her blood would scar her veins. It was sobering to realize that a good portion of her feelings and the events of last night were beyond her control. She had fought so hard to get her control back and to make sense of the twists her life had taken. Losing control was more than mildly alarming.
Rayne felt Garrett’s hand on her back, warm and comforting. The fact that she hadn’t noticed her mother’s quilt on the mattress last night only confirmed her distraction. Garrett Johnson was a much needed drug whose effects were unknown and untried. If they continued or increased upon how they had captivated her last night, there would be more than addiction to consider. There was the potential to be lost for all time. Strangely the fact that she was without clothes drew her nerves and uncertainty to the surface. There was a war of wanting to snuggle back up against his warmth and wanting to leap from the makeshift bed. She hated that indecision rooted her to the spot. Goosebumps prickled on her skin and she rubbed her arms against the chill.
“It’s wrong to lose a mother at such a young age.” Garrett’s sympathy swamped her with grief. Fifteen years had passed and it still felt fresh in her heart. The cavernous ache had never diminished. She could only nod in agreement.
Absolute agreement. A girl should never grow up without the guidance and confidence of her mother. A loving mother who never flagged in her devotion and supreme care. She felt the mattress shift under Garrett’s weight as he shuffled to a sitting position. His bare thigh brushed her own and the sparse wiry hair jolted the lust still fresh in her veins. She longed for red hot desire to take away the sharp stab of sadness. She tried to focus on the need to disappear and getting lost in this sexy cowboy beside her might just be what she needed to do that.
“Kiss me. Please.” Rayne felt the very meaning of vulnerable and it ate at her. She hated to be weak. It was a disadvantage to be so insecure and troubled. Her eyes searched Garrett’s face, looking for what she wasn’t sure. His brown eyes were clear as a finely polished stone.
Cloudless and exceptionally vibrant. She swallowed hard and leaned into him. He didn’t move. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t come into her either. Her heart was beating so loudly that she was sure he could hear it. Her lips met his in a blatant need for comfort and with no hesitation, he pulled her into his arms. She let the quilt fall from her grasp and her sensitive breasts brushed against his chest. A shiver zipped down her spine and spurred to life that fire that had never quite gone out. Garrett’s arms were tight about her, but they didn’t bind her to him. She was simply resting and following his lead. He didn’t hurry in any one direction. His tongue caressed hers in a languid and even pace. One large hand slid up her bare shoulder to her neck and rested just behind her ear, cupping and supporting.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she recognized the tenderness with which he was showing her. This wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted him to throw himself whole-heartedly into their connection and to inspire a wild fire that would cinder any chance at thought. She wanted him to put to use all his self-proclaimed skills to transport her somewhere else.
Didn’t she? The internal upheaval shocked her and caused her to falter in their little kissing session. Garrett noticed and pulled back fractionally to look into her eyes. It was unmistakable. He had seen what she hadn’t wanted him to. The fact that he could read her so well in minutes when others hadn’t in years was substantial. It was also paralyzing to her too. Garre
tt just waited for her to say something.
“Hungry? I’m sure it’s well past breakfast time.” She tried to force some cheerfulness into her voice, but even at best it sounded hollow to her ears. She swallowed hard and made a fuss about finding her long lost clothing. Garrett handed her the black bra from his side of the bed and her shirt.
“I could eat. What should I make?” He slid to the side of the mattress and pulled on his boxer briefs. Inwardly Rayne tried to dampen the longing to see him totally naked again. Outwardly she averted her eyes from his glance in her direction.
“Uh…there is bacon in the fridge and some eggs. I’m assuming the power won’t be back on for some time.” She fastened the clasp of her bra and threw her shirt over her head. Now she looked about on the floor for her panties. She was really going to miss a shower. She wasn’t looking forward to washing with cold water.
“Well let me redo the fire and get it built back up. I can make us some breakfast and we can go from there.” He pulled on his jeans and zipped them. Rayne couldn’t help watching the long lines of his legs up to the well-toned torso and magnificent chest.
Lord! I’m in trouble! Awkwardly she slipped her panties back on and then located her jeans. Gingerly she tried to stand, but her ankle was so sore. She winced, but stayed upright.
“Hey, hey, remember what I said. I can do the work. You need to stay off that!” Garrett grasped her arm and stepped into her. She had no choice but to brush up against his bare chest. She welcomed the warmth and security of having him near. She knew it was a bad idea, but for now, it felt like a good one.
“I know, but I have to get my pants. I should probably wash up and put clean clothes on. Would you mind helping me up the stairs?” She looked up into his face and before she could take a breath, he lifted her up into his arms. Her mouth fell open in protest. “You don’t have to carry me.”
Garrett grinned in that charming boyish way and kissed her soundly. Her lips tingled with the touch of his. He gently nipped her bottom lip and gripped her more tightly.
“Babe, I’d carry you anywhere. At least let me enjoy the feel of you in my arms before you start pushing me away.” He might have been kidding, but she wasn’t sure. She thought he was only teasing her, but the feeling of mischief wasn’t there in the depths of those brown eyes. She put her arms around his neck and nodded once. He started for the stairs, picking his way carefully about the furniture. A few long strides and they were on the second floor. She jerked her head in the direction of her old room where there was a medium sized suitcase on the bed. It hadn’t even been unpacked. Her cheeks warmed as they stepped into the inner sanctum that was a twelve year old’s bedroom. The general boy band posters were up along with various calendar tops of wild horses. Porcelain horse figurines were on a long shelf on the other side of the room. Rayne mentally winced seeing the horses covered in dust and spider webs. They had been a special gift from her mother and she had left them behind, along with everything else that reminded her of her parents. Her chest seized in the long familiar pain.
“It looks as if time stood still in here. Is it strange to see a child’s room with an adult’s eyes?” Garrett’s voice was warm and gentle. The honeyed balm eased some of the soreness she was finding more than painful. He hadn’t put her down. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to. If she touched the floor, would she become rooted to it, immersed into the past where there was very little that didn’t poke at wounds still raw? Her heart thumped loudly in her chest.
“I wish I could say the child was a stranger to the adult. I think it would be easier to be here if that were so.” She mumbled under her breath careful so that her thoughts didn’t become too large to handle. She knew Garrett had heard her and recognized the strength in the arms that held her. She was grateful for that too.
“Maybe you should just grab a quick change of clothes and we’ll go back downstairs. I don’t think you should be alone up here.” Garrett looked around the room, his eyes never resting on any one thing for too long. He was wary and watchful. Rayne wanted to tell him that she would be fine up here alone, but she didn’t think that would be even a half truth.
Some ghosts are better left alone. She only just caught the tear that slid down her cheek. Quickly she wiped it away with the back of her hand hoping he hadn’t seen it. It had been over a decade since anyone had seen her cry. She didn’t want to start now. Reluctantly he put her down, her feet touching the creaky wooden floor as her legs refused to support all her weight.
God bless him! Garrett didn’t stray from behind her. He even stepped into her back and kept the intimate touch of her backside against his front of his Wranglers. At some other time she would have been angered, immediately cornered and shaken, but right now, she needed this unspoken guard. Little did he know that he had assumed that role without any fanfare or decree. He was witnessing one of the greatest curses in her life that had left her cracked, wounded, and deeply angry.
“Would you carry my suitcase downstairs? I don’t think I want to stay up here.” Rayne’s voice didn’t sound like her own. It was scratchy and uncertain. She closed her eyes and blew out a breath.
“If you’re sure?” Garrett didn’t move, but reached around her and grabbed the suitcase tightly. She hated to admit that she felt bereft from the warmth of his body. The floorboards creaked as he left the room and went down the hallway. Dull light came into the room from the small window centered on the outer wall. The once white paint had diminished in its brightness taking on more of a pale yellow. Her heart thudded in her chest. Everywhere she looked there were a million memories that threatened to swamp her reserve. She had tried so desperately to battle and block each sentimental wisp that invaded her psyche.
A fragile one at that! She couldn’t say for sure when Garrett returned, but she was more than a little relieved that she wasn’t alone anymore. Her mind was a trap of the worst order. It set about to deceive her heart into thinking that all of this could have only been a bad dream.
More like a nightmare. She felt the dam crack under the weight of her thoughts and the blackness started to swirl around her. It was sucking in all the good she had ever tried to find for herself. She was appalled and devastated that it took one night in this place to change fifteen years of hiding. She was only just aware that she was shaking when she felt strong, capable arms slide around her and pull her into a warm chest.
Garrett. Her mind said it with such relief and longing that she didn’t hesitate to lean into him. Gratefully she took the comfort and shelter he provided simply by being there. Her world wasn’t as unmanageable with him present and the realization sent shivers through her. Trusting was dangerous. Hoping was devastating. Losing meant one more heartbreak she didn’t think she could survive. So why was it that even knowing such things, it was still a risk she was willing to take?
~~~
It felt wrong to leave her standing there beside that little twin sized bed in the middle of her childhood bedroom. He could almost feel the pain rolling off of her body and he longed to sweep her up into his arms again.
To hell with the suitcase! Only as he left the room with that blasted suitcase did he realize that she needed those scant minutes to estimate the level of fight she had ahead of her. Similar to a prize fighter summing up his competition, Rayne was evaluating the power of her adversary. He swallowed hard as the doorway loomed ahead of him and he wondered just what he would find inside. He knew there was this great air of mystery about Rayne Randall the moment he got a glimpse underneath that snow-dusted cowboy hat. Those golden eyes offered a wealth of insight if she only stayed in one spot long enough. He wondered if she even knew that her greatest foe would be herself.
Garrett wasn’t surprised that she was exactly where he had left her. Her ankle had to be throbbing something fierce, but he imagined the pain inside her was far worse. Stepping slowly up to her, he felt the pull of their attraction which was similar to a magnet. Like attracted like, did it not? He thought so. Maybe their
trials were not as different as they should be. Gently reaching out to her, he creased his brow at the trembling her body was doing. Such powerful emotions were speeding through her lithe body.
Was it him? Was it the grief of losing two parents? Did it matter? Swallowing hard, he groaned as she came to him, leaning her head against his chest. His arms acted of their own volition and twined snugly around her. The winds of the past swirled around them and threatened to wreak havoc. They had changed a young girl’s life and had thus changed her future. He pressed his chin to the top of her head and inhaled the soft floral scent of her hair. Closing his eyes, he let all the voices quiet. In this second, there was nothing but him and her. Outside of that bubble the world could go to hell for all he cared. Their connection felt right. It felt fated and only one other time did he ever think along those exact lines. He couldn’t say it would be all right. He didn’t know if a curse of so many years could be lifted. He only knew in his heart that he had to find out.
Chapter 5
Garrett did his best not to burn the bacon, but he would be the first to tell you he was not in his domain! Matt always cooked for them and often mocked his older brother for ordering out. Before Matt had moved in with him in Rapid City, Garrett had the pizza parlor’s number memorized. It’s probably the reason he ate it very little now. The salty goodness sizzled in the cast iron skillet he had found on the stove. The aroma caused his stomach to growl in frustration and impatience.
”Shit!” He cursed rather loudly as some of the hot grease exploded from the pan and landed on his arm. Quickly he rubbed it off and took half a step back. Moderating the heat on this hearth was not an easy thing to do. He stabbed at it with his fork, wrinkling his nose in extreme displeasure at having a utensil far too short. “Damn it!” He jerked his hand back again as another pop of hot grease went off. His eyes narrowed when he heard a rather feminine snort and chuckle. Tilting his head slightly, Garrett cast an annoyed look out of the corner of his eye. His heart jumped at her presence in the living room. Rayne had an uncanny way of making him sit up and take notice wherever she might be.