by A. C. Wilson
“Do you need some help?” Her husky voice sent a jolt to a region already too aware of what she did for him. He barely smothered a groan. Garrett furrowed his brows together and kept his eyes narrowed in annoyance, although it was directed more at himself than her.
“I can do it. I may not be a chef, but at least it won’t kill us.” Garrett tried to sound gruff, but her lips twitched at his words. He turned back to look at the bacon that was starting to burn around the edges. “Ah, hell!” He quickly started to stab the bacon and get it off the skillet onto the plate. He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t hear Rayne limp up behind him. She touched his arm and he jumped, sending a piece of half-burned pork into the flames. He growled and she chuckled.
“Ok foodie, let me in there. How many eggs do you want?” She twitched the fork from his fingers, but he held onto the plate. Quickly she flipped the other two pieces of meat onto the awaiting plate and reached for the carton of eggs.
“Two eggs over easy, please.” He watched her crack each egg with one hand and deftly split the shell to drop the yolk into the hot skillet. It sizzled on contact. Garrett couldn’t help but be impressed. She turned to find him sizing her up and ironically, he felt justified in doing so. Rayne was a mysterious treasure with many compartments to be explored. His groin hardened in anticipation of experiencing her other many talents.
“Why do you look so surprised? I thought women were supposed to be well versed in the kitchen.” Her words dripped with heavy sarcasm. Obviously the old way of thinking was being employed here.
“Why do women automatically assume men think females should be skilled in the home and nowhere else? Why can’t I appreciate you for your skills when they are clearly far superior to mine? At least in the kitchen!” Garrett grinned as her eyes narrowed and she looked about to smack that insinuation off his face. Her golden eyes flared with annoyance, shy respect and something else.
Desire, maybe. Whatever it was made him burn with want. She turned back to the eggs that were now ready to be flipped over and she located the spatula off the top of the mantel. Carefully she slipped the spatula under the egg and twisted her wrist. It was a quick and efficient move that Garrett envied. He lifted the plate towards her. She remained silent for a couple of minutes as the eggs finished cooking and not once did she look in his direction.
Surely eggs didn’t take this intense concentration! It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know there was more going on here. The undercurrent of unspoken conversation could be felt and he wondered if she had ever shared herself with anyone. He wondered if she would share herself with him if he could make her believe that it was safe to. Absently she rubbed her arm just under her t-shirt sleeve. He caught himself staring at the bare skin lightly touched by freckles. His lips pursed in the distinct want to press claiming kisses to that spot as well as numerous others. Garrett couldn’t hold back the predatory grin that spread across his handsome face. Of course it was in that second that she turned a glance his way and lifted a sculpted brow.
“Would you pull your mind out of the gutter, please?” Her words were clipped, but her cheeks blushed as she quickly scooped up the eggs and placed them on the plate beside the bacon. Garrett had to admit that as hungry as he was for food, he’d forego that if she gave him so much as a come hither look.
“I’m not a saint, Rayne! You can’t possibly expect me to forget how good we were together.” He watched her blush deepen and she didn’t look at him. He grinned. He stepped into her so their bodies were just brushing each other. “Have you forgotten? I would have no problem reminding you.” He chuckled when her eyes widened involuntarily at his teasing. She tilted her head slightly and looked up at him. His breath nearly seized in his chest for the unveiled need inside those golden depths.
“No, I remember quite clearly.” She put the spatula down and moved away from the hearth. He turned with her as she circled him and nodded appreciatively.
She’s going to kill me! Her eyes raked over his body and he felt it from the tips of his toes all the way up to the little hairs that stood up on his neck. He marveled in the seductive power she knew how to wield. Rayne didn’t stop walking, but changed her direction towards the mattress. Her gently rounded hips swayed ever so slightly and his mouth watered. The delighted giddiness that he felt about this woman in such a short amount of time was staggering. There was just something about each and every piece of her that spoken intimately to him. He wasn’t even sure it was all sexual, but the intimacy of sex was a place to start.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Garrett could have slapped himself for the words that came out were not actually what he was thinking. He sounded like a stupid juvenile all horned up with the sight of his first attractive female. His eyes closed, he took a breath and opened them again. By this time, Rayne had crawled into bed and pulled the old quilt up to her neck. He couldn’t help but grin.
“I am, but I’m more tired than hungry. Someone kept me up most of the night.” She cracked a lid open and stared at him. “That is what you wanted me to remember, isn’t it?”
“One of the things. I guess I will eat breakfast and then head outside to see how badly we are snowed in. You rest and when I come back, we’ll figure out what we need to do.” He took his plate and sat on one of the ratty chairs. He felt giant compared to the furniture in this room. If he was going to be staying for a bit, he was going to start working on some of these issues. First up after breakfast, he was going to dig out the front door and head out to the barn to make sure the horse was fine. This place could really use some help and he aimed to do just that.
~~~
Rayne rolled over onto her side careful not to bump her ankle. She pulled the quilt up to her chin and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to rest the pinball thoughts that kept pinging around in her brain. They subsided a bit.
Too bad sleep was not that easy to command. She and Garrett had stayed up enjoying each other well into the night. He was a fantastic lover, but she had guessed that. There was something about his personality mixed with that sexier than sin body that just made her hungry for more. She smiled to herself and buried her head deeper into the pillow. Garrett had been so sweet and gentle. His hands and lips holding her like she was something fragile that might break. Truth be told, she wanted to break. She wanted to shatter into a thousand pieces so that she might be able for once to leave the past in the past where it belonged. She knew Garrett could be an addictive fix that would have her begging for more of whatever he might give her. She wondered from the look in his eyes before she left him standing at the hearth, if she might not have that strength in power over him too.
Power to destroy. Power to rebuild. It was a concept that she wanted to explore. He definitely had a body she wanted to explore more fully. Heat bloomed in her cheeks even hotter than before and she smothered a girlish giggle. Perhaps having him stay on the ranch with her was not such a bad idea after all. A week or two of banging each other’s brains out would get them out of the other’s system.
Rayne heard Garrett get up out of the chair as he headed for the kitchen. She was thankful he didn’t try to pursue any more chats just now. If he had, she would have invited him back into her bed. The familiar wetness underlined the truth. It was better that than breaking the silence of a fifteen year old misery. She rolled over again and felt the coolness of the mattress with her bare feet. Sighing, she listened to Garrett get dressed to head outdoors into Lord knew how much snow. When she had pulled him in last night, it had been at the very least a couple of feet. After the harsh winds and heaviness of the storm, it could very well have drifted upwards of four feet. Living in central Kansas for that last decade and a half had lessened her knowledge of the snow. She had grown up in a much milder climate where the main dangers were tornadoes and ice storms. December in Kansas often warranted a heavy sweatshirt and not layers upon layers of winter clothing. To say she felt out of her depth was an understatement of the first order.
T
aking a deep breath, Rayne rolled over once more only to be convinced by now that she wasn’t going to fall asleep. Her mind was far too wired over the fact that she was actually home.
No! Not HOME. It was NEVER home. She pressed her lips together and clamped her teeth closed. Still tears welled in her eyes and she fought to keep them contained. She wondered what the hell had happened to the walls that she had so carefully constructed over the years to keep herself sane. She wondered if being back in this place was what had changed that or if it was more someone else’s doing. A rational person would say that it was both and she knew it was. Why she felt like a petulant child unable to see the truth only made her feel angrier. It didn’t matter if it was fair. It didn’t matter if it was wrong.
Of course it isn’t wrong! You saw it. You heard him. She had heard him yell over her mother’s dead body. She had seen her mother’s lonely body lying in the yard on a beautiful spring afternoon. Her mind’s eye searched that picture, that memory for any flaws, but it remained steadfast. Her heart was beating fast. Tears coursed down her cheeks. Twelve years old and she had seen a sight no child should ever witness. Rayne shook her head violently to dispel the image that blocked out all light and grace. The fear of a child had been buried by the pain and anger of an adult. There was definitely no denying that it still existed in a realm that tempered every relationship she had ever had. It struck a nerve in her that not everything was as it seemed. No one could possibly understand the devastation that day and every other since had placed on her ability to trust.
Anything good in my life doesn’t stay. Everything that should have been gold turned into brass. Her heart ached with that thought. Here she was a grown woman with a life of her very own and she was still very much a child underneath. The life that she should be living was moving forward without her in it. She swallowed hard and sat up on the mattress. She swiped the backs of her hands across her wet cheeks. Suddenly it was extremely cold in the house and she wished like hell she could step into the flames of the fire and be absorbed by it. Swinging her feet to the floor, she limped to her suitcase on the end table. Unzipping it and flipping it open, Rayne grabbed her Kansas State Wildcats sweatshirt from inside. She pulled it over her head and stabbed her arms into the sleeves before limping her way back to the fireside. Her hands felt like ice and that was warm compared to the deep freeze clutching her heart.
She hadn’t looked around her father’s house, but she did now. Every surface seemed to be covered with a thick dust. The kind that stayed even if a good stiff breeze came through an open door or window. Wrinkling her nose, she swiped one fingertip through the gray-green stuff. Hot water and soap was the only cure for that kind of yuck. All the normal items of ownership weren’t on display here. There were no pictures, frames, artwork, or table coverings. It was plain. It was basic and if truth were told, it was shabby at best. She hardly knew the man who had lived here. Looking around again, she wondered if he had really lived.
Stop thinking like that! Don’t feel sorry for him! He killed your mother! The pain and anger seared her in every place that it could. There was no morsel untouched that might be safe from such memories. If it was possible to cut out such cancerous rot and be left with something to start over with, she would have done it long ago. Unfortunately there was no amnesia that would save her either. Self-destruction just seemed too dire and it wasn’t a guarantee that it wouldn’t backfire. If anything would happen, that certainly would. Others said if they didn’t have bad luck, they wouldn’t have any luck. She felt like that too.
Where had her innocence and childhood gone? One day in ten thousand had ripped it all away from her. She didn’t just grieve the loss of her mother as a child would, but she also mourned the loss of the security she knew. From that point on, Rayne knew she had questioned every word, every action, and every person who had ever walked into her life. Nothing had been sacred! Nothing had been worth fighting the ghosts that always came. Her chest heaved as she staggered forward to lean against the couch arm. Her breathing wouldn’t slow and she felt light-headed. Her hands shook and she knew she must be very pale. It felt like all the blood had drained from her body and sunk into her feet. She even twitched them and grimaced at the pain as she moved. Her eyes darted around the living room. It was so quiet. So god-damned quiet! Her head throbbed with everything she wanted to say.
To hell with it!
“You miserable son of a bitch!” She growled, tentative and disturbed by her own swearing. She turned her back to the fireplace and leaned the back of her jeans against the couch. She drew on the quiet of the room as if she hadn’t quite got an answer, but had at least some attention. “You had some nerve to yell at a dead woman! She was your wife and my mother!” Her pitch rose as she swung her fists in the air. “Oh! I remember it all clearly enough! You told her YOU were responsible for her death.” Rayne gasped, trying to find breath as all air had left her lungs. She felt out of control and helpless at the same time. She stepped forward, bumping into another chair and grasping the back of it to keep from falling to the floor. She felt rather than heard the front door open in a whoosh of arctic air. Her eyes blurred with tears that welled without permission.
“Rayne, what the heck is going on?” Garrett’s rough voice demanded as he skidded on snow-covered boots into the living room. He hadn’t even shucked off his jacket at the door. His cheeks were reddened from the below freezing air and his eyes were narrowed in angry concern. He took one look at her and his brows lifted slightly. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t know any other way to reach the surface than to stubbornly cross the scant feet to him. Part instinct and part desperation, she clutched his coat ruthlessly and pulled him into her. Roughly her lips slammed against his and she put aside the sensitivity of scraped flesh. His confusion and shock remained for a couple of moments as she urged him to follow her into this thoughtless mire.
Please don’t fight me! Please don’t! Rayne mentally begged him to let her escape this madness. Miraculously he heard her. He wrapped his heavy arms around her waist, hiding his freezing cold hands under her sweatshirt against her skin. He took over. He plundered her mouth with a passion that made her gasp with recognition and relief. She melted into him, wishing she could touch him without the heavy winter coat in between them. She squirmed against his searching hands and moaned into his mouth.
“Sweet Jesus, Rayne! What the hell?” He was clearly still bemused, but it didn’t stop or slow him. Reluctantly pulling his hands away from her warmth, he quickly unzipped the coat, took off the worn black cowboy hat and jerked her roughly back against him. His large, calloused hands rasped against the soft skin of her stomach as he pushed off her sweatshirt and t-shirt. It was a whirlwind of conscious need! Her hands raised above her head to dispatch the clothing, she quickly framed Garrett’s strong face. Her fingertips brushed the dark, pokey growth of his beard. He looked now like the wild cowboy that she knew him to be.
In a flurry of passionate action, Garrett gripped her bottom and lifted her easily to wrap her legs around his waist. The oh-so sensitive place rubbed against his belt buckle and Rayne couldn’t stop the low groan that resonated in her throat. There was no allusion to this being a sweet, seductive affair. It was rough, almost painfully so but in a way so the feelings made her understand that she were alive. It was bringing her back to the surface from the desperately dark place she had been only minutes earlier. Garrett might not like being a means to an end, but she needed him more at this moment than she had ever needed someone before. She fought the shiver that coursed up her spine. He didn’t balk or pull away, instead he conquered and took what he wanted. His lips cruised her neck, nibbling and sucking here and there. She clawed at his back, upset that there was still too much clothing between them. Her fingers pulled at the cloth of his button-up shirt to free it from his jeans. Yanking hard, Rayne growled in frustration as it still wouldn’t release.
“Patience, sweetheart, patience.” His words were merely a breath against her neck, j
ust below her ear. The sensitive skin made her shiver again. He held himself tightly to her core and walked them towards the mattress. Her heart fluttered with relief and hungry anticipation.
~~~
Garrett wasn’t sure what the heck had happened from the point that he heard loud, angry screaming coming from inside the house to when he found himself wrapped in passionate desperation he had never experienced before. Rayne had looked so destroyed when he had walked inside. Her face was pale and her eyes red from crying. Normally crying women scared him to death, but turning away from her had not been an option he had even considered. He wasn’t sure he could turn away from her at any point. It was a rather unsettling realization to come to. Instead of retreating, he had thrown himself into the fray and set about conquering whatever fears had driven her to this heightened state. It was gloriously sinful and that only seemed to make him desire her more. The passion burning in those golden eyes seared his soul, leaving him doubly determined to make her his own.
Her thighs hugged his waist as if she could pull him into her. He enjoyed the crazy desperation that had her clinging and swiveling her hips to brush her core against his erection. Holding her tightly to him more so that he could see past her as much as enjoy her body, Garrett slowly and determinedly made his way to the mattress on the floor. Her fingers were buried in his hair, twisting almost painfully as she bit and kissed his neck. He couldn’t help the shivers that ran down his spine. It was unnerving the way she inspired such results. Gripping each cheek of her bottom in his hands, he squeezed until she yelped. Leaning back just enough to look into his face, he knew it hadn’t been enough to pull her to the surface. Her eyes were large and almost of another world. She was clawing to get out from underneath the darkness, but she wasn’t free yet.