by A. C. Wilson
“She was just playing with him?” Rayne asked, her attention caught. Garrett’s sister looked at Rayne, blue eyes widening. Rayne remembered seeing those same blue eyes in Matt. Piercing with a liquid that caught flame when emotions ran high. They burned now. Nora loved her brother and protected him fiercely.
Why would she be here taking care of me? Aren’t I as bad as Lena McCoy?
“I can’t say for certain. I think she considered Garrett a good time and he did what she asked. He gave her presents and took her places. All he really wanted was to win her heart and he thought he’d succeeded.” Nora looked back into Rayne’s eyes and didn’t shy away. “Graduation night he asked Lena to marry him and she laughed in his face. She broke my brother in two and he’s never healed right from it. The next day he moved to Rapid City with the blessings of my parents and we never heard about the McCoy meltdown again.” Nora looked away, her hands resting in her lap. Rayne felt the heaviness weigh on her chest again and she tried to wish that she’d never met Garrett Johnson.
Not for her, but for him. If she never walked into his life, he’d not be hurt.
“I wish he never met me.” Rayne whispered her thoughts out loud. “I didn’t mean to cause him pain, Nora. I only told him the truth.” Rayne ran a hand over her face trying to dispel the now familiar pricks of tears. Nora patted Rayne’s knee and shook her dark head softly.
“I know my brother, Rayne. No matter what you did to him or what you will do to him, Garrett would never wish he’d never met you.” A deep sadness clouded those clear blue eyes and Rayne felt her tragedies mirrored in Nora’s eyes. “Once you love someone, you can’t erase it. It dims. It lessens. It changes, but you’ll never forget it for as long as you live.” They sat there quietly for a couple of minutes, each of them lost in their worlds of chaos and lost loves.
Could it be true? Once you love someone, you always love them? Rayne cleared her throat and looked towards the window. The light no longer quite as bright as it had seemed.
“Do you know if love can save a person? Is it capable of that?” Rayne felt her lower lip tremble. Her heart was racing and her head felt heavy again.
“As love can destroy a person, I’ve seen it save someone. Love is capable of a great many things. I don’t think we give it enough credit.” Nora spoke absently, her eyes looking out the window too. Rayne noticed the dark circles under Nora’s eyes and Garrett’s sister wore the weight of her emotions on a yoke. Something told her Nora knew more about the power of love than anyone Rayne knew or would know.
“How should I know what to do now? Everything I wanted doesn’t seem to be what I want now. Every road I need to take to get there seems to be little more than a crushing of grass.” Rayne wished she had some answers. She didn’t want to be scared to live life. She didn’t want to live a life that was marred by shadow and pain. It had to end. It had to begin fresh.
“I think in your heart you know what you want and who you want that to be with. The way forward is hidden sometimes and it’s terrifying too.” Nora patted Rayne’s hands in her lap and softly smiled. “You couldn’t have chosen a better man.” The girls chuckled as they sat there on the mattress. Rayne felt relieved in a way to share her burdens with someone else. Nora was indeed a fellow soul. They’d become fast friends, just like Rayne had with Andy.
“Gah, I’m starving.” Rayne complained after they’d sat quietly for a few moments more. Her stomach growled in response and Nora laughed. Her blue eyes were once again bright and mischievous.
“Well let’s get you washed up and dressed. You don’t have a thing in this house to eat and I happen to know where the grocery store is.” Nora winked and Rayne laughed despite the slight panic that flooded her heart.
What if they ran into Garrett? What would she say to him? Would he even want to see her? All the thoughts swirling in her head did nothing to help her hold onto her balance as Nora helped Rayne to her feet. Nora held her by the arm until the floor stopped spinning.
“I’m swearing off whiskey. I can’t do one more night of that.” Rayne whispered loudly, straightening up and squaring her shoulders. Her stomach rebelled in an angry upheaval and it sent Rayne scurrying for the bathroom.
Yep. I’m never doing that again. She reminded herself for the fourth time since she’d emptied her stomach. The bumpy drive into Hot Springs did little for her attitude or that of her stomach. She really needed to think. Currently her system was stuck on mutiny and until she had something to eat and maybe some more rest, thinking clearly was out of the question. So Rayne resigned herself to focusing on Garrett’s sister and what information she could glean.
“I’m sorry if I ruined your evening and most of your day. I’m sure you had better things to do than babysit me.” Rayne apologized, offering a rueful smile. Nora stopped drumming her red nails on the steering wheel and shrugged.
“You didn’t ruin anything. The truth was I needed a distraction and the house was too damn quiet.” Nora reached over and turned the radio down a bit.
“Aren’t you married? Why was the house so quiet?” Rayne asked, only grimacing inwardly when she realized that it was probably none of her business.
“Married and I have a six year old son. My husband went to visit his parents and took Drew with him. I guess I’m just not very good at being by myself.” Nora turned the truck onto the main road. Rayne had a million questions, but she didn’t want to lose a friend she had just managed to make.
“I’m a good distraction. I’m also a mess, if you hadn’t noticed.” Rayne offered a friendly smile and readjusted her seatbelt. She rubbed the spot where the material had rubbed against her neck.
“Oh, I noticed. It takes one to know one, don’t you know?” Nora offered a good natured grin and winked at Rayne. The women laughed at their new thread of understanding. The truck turned into the parking lot of the grocery store and Nora found a close spot to park. The motor turned off and the interior of the truck seemed so quiet. Rayne gave Nora a side glance.
“Do you think there’s a chance of running into Garrett?” Rayne’s tentative voice seemed so small. Nora picked up her purse that sat in between them on the seat and tucked her keys inside.
“No. He’s at the Crossing Pines with Matt and my dad. I texted Andy to find out.” Nora’s matter of fact manner made Rayne thankful for being here. Nodding her head, Rayne opened her door and stepped out onto the asphalt. Rayne would really miss Nora and Andy if things did not smooth over between her and Garrett.
“I’m really not sure what I need or how long I’m going to be here.” Rayne said as they entered the building and selected a cart. Nora shrugged again and sighed.
“Plan for the worst and hope for the best. I’d go for the necessities.” Nora replied in a sing song tone. Rayne hadn’t heard it put that way before. It sounded like the best thing to do at the moment.
Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Sound advice. The next question was where to start. The store was busy, but not too full. They maneuvered the grocery cart easily enough down one aisle and then the next. Before Rayne knew it, they had almost filled it. The funny thing was that it wasn’t all food.
Air fresheners. Laundry soap. Dryer sheets. Toilet paper. Dish soap. Paper towels. The list just continued from there. Everything that might make the ranch house more habitable and welcoming was added to the cart. Nora was even trying to convince her that they needed to purchase new curtains, towels, and bed clothes. Rayne couldn’t deny the appeal of those things. Some place to call her own and to know was hers was a huge need. She needed to belong. She just wasn’t sure it was here in Hot Springs, South Dakota.
“We’ve definitely done some damage.” Nora chuckled as they stood in line to pay for their items. Rayne nearly groaned at all the things on the belt. She wasn’t looking forward to hauling it out to the truck and putting it all away when they got back.
“You’re a bad influence.” Rayne teased back as they paid for their items. Nora thanked the clerk as they
pushed the cart through the electric door and into the parking lot. Nora whipped her head around as a leggy blonde smiled and spoke to them.
“Nora? Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it’s you!” The blonde woman smiled and batted her big brown eyes. Rayne looked from one to the other. Nora offered a tight smile in return.
“Lena. Yes, I didn’t expect to see you.” Ever. Rayne heard the word even if Nora didn’t say it out loud. Rayne’s stomach tightened as her first question was answered.
“Hi. I’m Lena McCoy.” The blonde woman greeted Rayne with a dazzling smile and a flip of her long hair. Instantly Rayne disliked her. Hate might be a strong word, but it danced in between them waiting for judgment.
“Rayne Randall.” The tight offering seemed to go unnoticed by Garrett’s ex-girlfriend.
Ex-girlfriend. It hit Rayne that Garrett had loved Lena once. From Nora’s surprise, it was clear that Lena didn’t live here. Why was she in town? It all seemed like such a huge coincidence.
“I didn’t know you were back in town.” Nora spoke to Lena, her blue eyes raking the woman from head to toe. Beautiful blonde curls to her black high-heeled boots, there was no denying Lena McCoy was a striking young woman. Rayne resisted the urge to growl under her breath.
“Just visiting my old stomping grounds. You know how it is, Nora. It’s nice to relive the glory days once in a while.” Nora’s eyes sharpened at Lena’s jab. It was a jab. Rayne knew very little about her new friend, but she knew enough to see that Lena’s words bothered Nora.
“I don’t remember those days being all that good, Lena. Memories can be tricky things. They aren’t always as golden as we reminisce them to be.” Nora’s voice carried a deeper meaning and Lena’s brown eyes narrowed. The claws were definitely starting to show. It made Rayne edgy.
“Oh, well, I don’t know about that, Nora. Your brother is still as sexy as he ever was. I’m sure he’ll have no qualms about restarting an old flame.” Lena tossed a long curl over her shoulder and shrugged her shoulders. Rayne wanted to reach across the cart and strangle the girl with those damned curls.
“I’d leave Garrett alone if I were you, Lena. He’s found someone else.” Nora tilted her head to the side and mimicked Lena’s shrug. Rayne fought the urge to giggle in absurd giddy delight at Nora’s words.
He’s found someone else. Hopefully Garrett still felt that way too.
“We will see. He never was one to resist me.” Lena McCoy slipped her purse up onto her shoulder and turned a second before saying goodbye. For Rayne and Nora, it wasn’t soon enough. Nora didn’t say anything as they unloaded the groceries into the back of her truck. Rayne had a million thoughts jamming the logical process. She focused on the blonde woman. Lena McCoy had been Garrett’s first real love and now she was back in town looking for a brown-eyed, handsome cowboy.
Rayne’s cowboy. Rayne was never one to fight for possession. Everything she had ever wanted had fallen apart in her fingers. The odds were not good for her and Garrett. The odds for good things to happen to Rayne were not good either.
Nora and Rayne got back inside the truck and buckled up. Nora started the engine and then rested her wrists on the steering wheel. She looked at Rayne and her blue eyes focused clearly on the woman sitting there. Rayne gave a half smile. Nora shook her head.
“You know I told you that Lena was the girl from Garrett’s dreams?” Nora waited for Rayne to nod. “You’re the girl from his prayers.” The entire sentence echoed in Rayne’s brain. She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t seem to utter any words. Her heart had gone quiet and the banging in her head had lessened.
You’re the girl from his prayers. Prayer. She remembered praying for a great many things. Had she prayed for a man like Garrett to rescue her? The only person who could rescue her was herself. Why then was she clinging to him as if her life would never be the same without him? Rayne looked out the window as Nora drove them back to the ranch. She clung to Garrett, because without him, her life never would be the same. Of that much she was certain. Now she just needed to figure everything else out or run the risk of losing Garrett to the claws of Lena McCoy.
Chapter 22
Garrett was all too aware that morning had dawned on a day he hoped to never see again. His consciousness listened to the sound of bacon frying in the kitchen and Andy humming along to Luke Bryan singing about crashing his party.
I’ll crash his party. Garrett mentally growled as he pulled a pillow over his head. He knew what it was like to put everything on hold for someone special. Everything was on hold for the woman who just told him she essentially had nothing left to give. He was amazed that he hadn’t collapsed from shock right there in the living room at the Randall Ranch. Maybe that was all that had kept him moving forward.
Shock. Disbelief. Utter torment. Each emotion more hollow than the last. Garrett couldn’t take the pillow over his face anymore and the couch, although quite adequate, felt small. He sat up and cracked his eyes open to the sunshine streaming in to the living room. He ran his calloused hands over his face and stifled the groan that wanted to rip from his throat.
“Good to see you are awake. Do you want some coffee?” Andy asked from the kitchen. He loved his sister-in-law, but today he could have done without her chipper life-is-good attitude.
“Coffee would be good.” Garrett cleared his throat, but the rawness remained. He stood up only now noting how uncomfortable he was in his clothes. Ironic since he was wearing his favorite worn-in jeans and a t-shirt that had seen better days. Everything felt ill-fitting and confining. He even felt out of place in his own skin. Things were clawing to the surface that he had spent so long burying.
“Here you go.” Andy sat a steaming mug on top of the island and he walked stiltedly towards the stool. He offered more of a grimace than a smile. She returned it with a smile, but he noticed it didn’t reach her green eyes. Eyes so expressive that he knew what she was thinking. Far from the golden eyes that hid everything from him, except when they were in each other’s arms, then he could read Rayne like an open book.
“Thanks.” Garrett mumbled as he took a sip, burning his lip and worrying the burn with his teeth. Andy turned back to the stove to pull out the cooked bacon and place it on a plate. It gave him a moment to gather his thoughts and try to be more polite. Garrett would have much preferred being alone, but there wouldn’t be a chance for that until he went back to Rapid City. He figured it was time. He’d left his foreman in charge of the company for longer than he ever had before and the chain of command essentially fell to the foreman. Margaret was overseeing the rest of the paperwork and payrolls. The best thing to do would be to head back, take up the reins again, and continue on as if any of this had never happened. He couldn’t quite make believe that he would forget Rayne or wish she’d never entered his life. She’d saved him.
“I’m sure she regrets the things she said last night.” Andy’s soft voice brought him back. He lifted a brow as if he didn’t hear her. He’d heard exactly what she’d said. His foolish heart leapt at the thought.
“I think she said exactly what she meant too, Andy.” Garrett could hope that morning would bring clarity and perhaps it had. Rayne had said what was in her head. He couldn’t blame her. She’d been through so much and maybe the damage was just too much.
“At least you both know where you stand now. You can build on that.” Andy put a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of him. “I know people say it takes years to create a relationship and that it is all a work in progress. I think love happens when you least expect it. In a flash, you know exactly who you’re meant to love for all time. The everyday junk takes the work. Everything that could get in the way of that love takes work to make sure it doesn’t.” She opened the water bottle sitting on the counter and took a drink. The green in her eyes darkened and her lips pressed in thought. Garrett wanted to agree. Lord knew Matt and Andy had their obstacles. A crazy, stalker ex-girlfriend, a judgmental family, the loss of Harper’s father, and
the wariness of a mother had all threatened to get in the way, but they hadn’t let it. They’d battled it all back. Garrett had watched it happen.
“I know what I want, Andy. Rayne is the one who doesn’t. Until she knows, I’m only going to be on the sidelines wishing she’d be mine.” Garrett had a hard time accepting that Rayne would figure herself out quickly. They may not have a future together ever.
“What we think will take forever has a way of working itself out. I firmly believe that if it is meant to happen, it will. Rayne was obviously meant to walk into your life. She’s already changed you, Garrett.” Andy leaned against the counter, her elbows parallel to the granite edge. Her eyes held his. “How can you expect to go back to your old life when you aren’t the old Garrett?” She tilted her blonde head slightly. He thought for a moment. He wanted to believe her. She seemed so certain in what she was saying to him. A nagging in his brain made him shy away.
“It’ll be different. That is for darn sure, but I can go back. In fact, I’m going back today. I’ve put aside too many things for this crazy venture that came to naught.” Garrett stabbed his eggs with a fork. Andy shook her head and sighed.
“Well don’t leave before Matt sees you. I’ll go see what’s keeping him.” She left the kitchen and headed towards the master bedroom. Garrett felt the loss of company acutely.