Scars of the Earth

by C. S. Moore

  “Bravery? Hell, I was too much of a coward even to finish my own sentence. I was going to say, ‘I’m leaving because I can’t take this anymore.’ Or something along those lines, it has been a while.” She said with a shrug. His eyes drilled into her, searching for even a hint of a lie in her words.

  “You inspired me, and started an underground rebel movement, with an unfinished sentence?” He asked in disbelief.

  “Well this is the first that I am hearing about an underground movement, but yeah I guess I did.” She was worried that he might be angry, sad, or disappointed in her. But that wasn’t even close to his reaction. He chuckled to himself then his chuckle turned into a deep belly laugh. Laughing? How could he be laughing, I just told him that his inspiration in life was meaningless?

  “Are you okay?” She asked unsure of what to do. He wiped a tear from his eye and shook his head.

  “Wow, you are even more amazing than I guessed!” He said patting her shoulder.

  “I see that you are a fan of sarcasm.” She said through her teeth.

  “No, no.” He coughed, clearing his throat and straightened himself upright. “I am being perfectly sincere. You are probably the only person in the history of the world that could ever positively affect an entire people with a sentence fragment.” He laughed and she joined him. It felt amazing to laugh with him; she had been tight as piano wire for so long her body had started to ache.

  “Listen, I’m sorry if I wasn’t very nice to you. I’m sort of new to having enemies. Well, real ‘I want to kill you’ type enemies. I’ve had the ‘I think you‘re scum!’ types for a while. And you kind of remind me of one of them, and not just because you are both on the Guard. I can see that you are a far better person than me. I guess I just can’t trust my instincts anymore, I’m probably too paranoid.” She said apologetically. The relaxed atmosphere that she had been enjoying disappeared, as did the Armaan she knew. A blank faced monster stood before her. His light seemed to have drained from him and he grew darker by the second.

  Was it something I said? She thought worriedly.

  “Armaan?” She said, touching his unmoving shoulder. “Armaan, I am sorry if I said anything to upset you. I didn’t mean too, I’m no good with words.” Darkness rolled from him and began to blot out the little sun light they had left.

  “Stop this Armaan, you’re freaking me out!” She said. Ignoring the hammering of her fear driven heart, she moved closer to him. She wasn’t really frightened of him, just the darkness that had been instilled in him. Putting her hands out on either side of him, she rubbed his arms, trying to get him out of whatever state he had fallen into.

  “Armaan?” She said, seeing the light come back into his eyes. He shook her hands off of him gently and took a few steps away from her. She moved forward, but he stopped her.

  “Please, just stay there for a second.” He begged, putting his head between his knees. She wanted to console him somehow, but didn’t know what to say to someone struggling through such inner turmoil.

  How has he done this all of these years? How does a person stay good and true to themselves with so much darkness thrust upon them? She wondered who Cole would be had he not gotten out, the thought sent a cold shiver down her spine.

  “I’m sorry if I set you off, are you okay?” She asked. He straightened up and took a deep breath.

  “Yeah, I’m real sorry that you had to see that. I get that way sometimes when people mention my brother.” He whispered.

  “What do you mean?” She asked, perplexed. “I don’t even know who…”

  “I wouldn’t stop trusting your judgment if I were you.” He looked up and met her gaze with dark eyes. “You took one look at me and saw him.”

  No. She thought.

  “Saw my brother, saw your enemy.”

  Please no!

  “Saw Frey.” He choked over his brother’s name, like it made him sick to say it. She wanted to scream.

  How could Shiphra send the brother of the person whose face I see when I picture the enemy? She wondered.

  If she thought that she might have trusted him less after such a revelation, she was wrong. She couldn‘t bring herself to look at him any differently-he looked so ashamed. Why should he feel ashamed for the thing that his brother is. It isn’t his fault, and it really isn’t even Frey’s.

  “It isn’t your fault that you’re related to him.” She almost shouted. “Worry about the things that you can control, like getting us safely to New Hovel.” She turned to move forward, but he held her back.

  “You don’t care that he is my brother?” He asked in a rush.

  “Well Shiphra doesn’t seem to care, so why should I?” She said as lightly as she could manage, trying to assure him that it didn’t matter at all. “And it isn’t really his fault that he is the way that he is, it’s the…” She was going to tell him that his brother wouldn’t be like this had the Ancients not made him that way, but he interrupted her.

  “No, it is his fault. There is a choice in everything. Even when you are forced into something that you never wanted, you can choose to fight it; you can choose to hate it. But he didn’t, he chose to enjoy what he called ‘freedom’.” He said defiantly.

  “Let’s just get you back; I don’t really want to talk about this.” He started walking then stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “Thanks for saying it doesn’t matter. I can’t tell if you really mean it, but it’s a nice thing for you to say.”

  They walked together side by side; she didn’t feel the need to stay in front of him. Although she could tell he felt the need to be in front of her, he had gradually lengthened his stride until she had to take three of hers to match one of his. It didn’t tire her out like it should have, it just annoyed her slightly.

  Is every guy I meet going to treat me like a wounded baby bird? She wondered.

  “Can you stop trying to out run me; you don’t even know where we are going.” She said trying to keep her annoyance out of her voice.

  “Sure, sorry. I tend to walk fast when I am nervous.” He said slowing his pace.

  “Why are you nervous?” She asked, not understanding what he had to be worried about.

  “I uh…don’t know how Cole is going to react when he sees me.” He said running a hand through his hair anxiously. “He doesn’t know who I really am, and the person he thinks I am is definitely not going to be welcome around him-or you. He hates me.” He put a hand on her shoulder trying to get her to understand.

  “Don’t worry; Cole trusts me. Even if he doesn’t trust you, he will listen to me.” She assured him.

  “I wouldn’t sound so sure about that if I were you.” He said quietly. She wanted to ask him why he thought Cole wouldn’t want him near them, but Armaan had already started walking.

  He doesn’t know what he is talking about, Cole couldn’t hate anyone. Especially not Armaan, he is so easy to like. Once you get around his resemblance to his brother. She thought.

  They were near the opening and she was surprised that Armaan had led them to the correct spot. She was so involved in her thoughts that she forgot to tell him where to go.

  He knew where we were the whole time? She wondered. And he let me say that he would get us lost! Of course he knows where we are staying; he knew where to find me. She thought foolishly. She turned to thank him for letting her make an ass out of herself, but held her tongue.

  He didn’t seem to notice her studying him, too lost in worrisome thoughts. His jaw was clenched tightly. The flexed muscles partnered with the evening light cast haunting shadows across his boyish face, making him appear older and sharper than he really was. Or maybe it was his nerves that made him look this way. She guessed that this might be the way a soldier looks before going into battle.

  Why? She asked herself. Why can’t he relax? It’s not like anyone here will try to hurt him. She thought in annoyance.

  She broke through the trees entering the clearing before Armaan; he had fallen back without her noticin
g. She wasn’t paying any attention to him; having caught sight of the cave, and the familiar person running towards her screaming.

  Chapter 17

  It took her longer than it should have to process the words that Cole was shouting at her. Both because it was a shock to see him running at her screaming and due to the fact that her worrisome mind automatically assumed that something had happened with Madgie. Once she understood his words and the reason behind them, she relaxed.

  “Run! Amanda get away from him, run!” He had said. She looked around to try and find Armaan, but he was still somewhere in the brush. Cole had reached where she was and put himself between her and the dark forest.

  “Get yourself into the cave, I will cover you.” He said over his shoulder, his dark eyes never leaving the shadowy wall of trees.

  “It’s okay Cole Shiphra sent him. He is here to help us. Come out Armaan!” She shouted around Cole who tensed as soon as the name passed her lips.

  “You really think that Shiphra sent him Amanda? Have you learned nothing over the past few days? You can not trust a member of the Guard they have been…” His body lurched forward in pain, but he straightened himself quickly as one of the shadows stepped into the clearing.

  “I can get that fixed for you.” Armaan said putting a hand to his throat and making a choking gesture. “Shiphra lifted my gag, I’m sure she can do the same for you.” He offered with a wave of his large hand. As Armaan stepped out into the little light left of the day Cole flinched slightly, as if the mere sight of him was a blow.

  “Go to the cave please; I don’t want you to see this.” Cole whispered to her. “Leave now and I will not hurt you.” He said to Armaan. His words sent a wave of shock rolling through her and she felt her mouth fall open, but Armaan seemed unfazed.

  “What?” She asked in bewilderment. “Did you not hear what I just said? He is here to help us! Cole listen…” She pleaded as he readied his stance.

  “Will you be leaving, or not?” He asked again firmly. Armaan scratched the side of his head in false contemplation.

  “Um…no.” Armaan said with a smile.

  Why does he have to be such and ass? He is making ME want to attack him. Amanda thought venomously.

  “She is telling the truth you know. Shiphra sent me here to guide you to her. And I don’t often fail my duty.”

  “No you don’t often fail your masters Armaan. I do believe that to be true. Amanda is just confused as to who is pulling your strings.” He said, making the blood rise to her cheeks.

  “Don’t tell me that I am confused! You are the only one confused here. I am telling you that he is here to help us, can’t you trust me?” She screamed at his back.

  “You know that I trust you, just not with this. He has a silver tongue and can spin a tale. That is why girls listen to him, girls like you. And every one of the pretty little things that followed him around turned up missing. Do you want to know why?” He asked through his teeth. Amanda felt Cole’s anger become more and more concentrated, turning into something resembling hatred. “Because Guard members like to have fun with women, and the women end up…” Cole swayed a little so she steadied him with her hand.

  “It isn’t what you think; he hasn’t been working for the Ancients. He has never been a Guard member. All of those girls that you are talking about ended up in New Hovel, the city that Shiphra protects. Nell is there now waiting for us.” She explained hoping that he would listen. She could feel Cole’s doubt, but she knew Armaan wasn’t lying to her. She didn’t know how she knew but she did.

  “You don’t understand the things that I have seen him do, the things that I have heard him say.” Cole said in a haunting voice.

  “It was all part of the act. I had to pretend to be somebody that made me sick for the greater good. I wish that I could have had your life! You were free to be yourself, you were free to think the worst of me, you could choose to have attachments.” Armaan’s eyes flickered towards Amanda for a longing moment. “I am not going anywhere, and I am not what you think that I am. You remember who I am. We were practically brothers Cole.”

  “That was before you became just like your blood brother. You are nothing to me now.” Cole hissed. Her heart fell as Armaan’s despair reached her and she could no longer stay behind Cole’s protective arms. She darted in between the two men and stared into Cole’s dark eyes.

  “How could you say that?” She asked. “Can’t you feel how badly you are hurting him? He is coming with us whether you like it or not. And I am not about to let you go running off on your own…”

  “I would never run off and leave you!” Cole interjected.

  “I know that.” She assured him as calmly as possible. If this trip lasts more than two days I will be completely bald from ripping my own hair out. She thought in exasperation. “You don’t trust Armaan and I do. I see why you are having such a hard time with this, but even though you don’t trust him I know that you trust me.” She stepped closer to him, closing the distance that she had put between them and cupped his cheek.

  His eyes bore into her pleadingly and she was lost in them. She didn’t know who had first said that the eyes were the windows to the soul, but she was reminded of how true the adage was. Cole broke the silence that had settled over the clearing and when she came back to herself she noticed that all of the day’s light was now gone.

  How long were we like that? She wondered feeling bad for ignoring Armaan for so long.

  “She wants you with us so you may come with us, but I will be watching you.” Cole said coldly. Armaan’s face lit up in one of his dazzling smiles.

  “Are you sure that you can watch me with her around? She seems to be the only thing you can keep your eyes on.” He said gesturing to Amanda with a wink. A blush rose to her cheek and she wanted to laugh, but instead told him to shut up.

  “Do you really want him around twenty four seven, it could be a long journey.” Cole said through his teeth which just made Armaan’s smile stretch wider.

  “Stop being proud of yourself for being annoying.” She shot at Armaan. “And yes, I still want him to come.” She squeezed Cole’s large hand and made to let go but he kept it in place.

  “Don’t worry we are pretty close to New Hovel, we should be there by tomorrow. And if you tell me that one day of my company is too much to bear it would be a terrible shot to my self esteem.” Armaan said dramatically. She wanted to tell him that a shot to his self esteem would be a good thing, but her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of how nice Cole’s warm hand felt holding hers.

  “As much as I enjoy standing in the dark watching you look at each other and standing in the dark watching you hold hands bashfully, I’d like to get some rest so that I can watch you do something cute tomorrow with the sharpest of senses.” Armaan announced and bowed formally before walking off towards the cave. She was getting used to Armaan’s embarrassing remarks and barely felt blood rise to her cheeks.

  “Has he always been so strange?” She asked Cole in a whisper.

  “He has always been different; I thought it was because of how bad his childhood must have been-what with Frey as an older brother. Always making everything a joke, but then he turned into Frey.” He said looking down at her.

  “He isn’t like his brother, you’ll see. He has been through so much and he still cares about what you think of him. You should try to be there for him.” She said glancing sideways trying to gage his reaction.

  “Don’t worry I do trust you, and if you trust him I will try to.” She was glad that he was trying to trust her judgment, but she wished that he could forget the Armaan that he thought he knew.

  “Thanks for letting him stay, you’ll be glad that you did when we walk into New Hovel tomorrow and all of your worries are put to rest. Come on, let’s go.” She said dragging him after Armaan.

  When they reached the cave she wasn’t surprised that Armaan had already gone inside. Of course it would open for him. Shiphra made this safe haven and
she sent him to help us, so naturally he doesn’t need me to get in. She thought giving herself another reason to believe in Armaan. As they made their way into the light of the cave she saw that Madgie was still deathly pale.

  “Oh, Cole! Isn’t there anything we can do for her?” She begged.

  “You have already done everything that you can.” Armaan said from one of the stone couches. “Assuming that you’re the one that healed her. Just let her rest and try to pour some fluids in her, you’ll have to guide the water down or she’ll choke on it.”

  “Well get your butt off of that couch and warm the water in that canteen, I’ll make her some tea.” She took the bamboo leaves and crushed up the rose buds placing them both into a bit of fabric. She tied it off with more fabric and hoped that it would work as a tea bag. “Have you warmed up the water yet?” She asked Armaan looking over at him. He had the canteen firmly between his hands which were bright red and glowing slightly.

  “Yeah it’s steaming, should be good to make tea. So did you tell him you lost this canteen and were trying to weave one out of leaves?” Armaan asked as he handed her the water. She would have been embarrassed in any other situation, but seeing the slight smile that Armaan had put on Cole’s face was worth the humiliation.

  “I would have made a beautiful water basket if you had let me finish.” She said, though she knew it was a lie. “Anyway I’m not sure I am skilled enough to get Madgie to drink this without choking her. Will you try to get some in her once the tea is done?” She asked looking at Cole.

  “Sure, where are you headed?” He asked as she made her way across the room.

  “I’m going to sleep, I’m exhausted.” She said making his face fall a little. She turned around making her way back over to him and whispered in his ear. “I know that you won’t sleep tonight, you don’t trust Armaan enough to, but after you get some fluids in Madgie…” She paused letting her stomach do a back flip. “You can come and lay next to me if you like.” She turned around quickly before she could see his reaction.