by Stacey Ritz
Reaching into the oversized refrigerator, Veronica grabbed a carton of fresh blueberries. Yesterday she’d visited the local Farmer’s Market to pick up fresh organic produce. It was common for her to eat the food once she’d photograph it. She reasoned, it was more than beautiful. It was delicious, too. Carrying the blueberries into the studio, which was really the dining room with its large white French doors and bay window overlooking the back yard, Veronica felt the tray slip from her fingers when the phone rang, startling her. Always a believer in signs, Veronica sighed as she watched her beautiful blueberries fall to the ground, scattering in every direction.
Glancing at the face of her phone she saw a number she knew she recognized, although she couldn’t place it at that moment. She placed the now empty tray on the desk in front of her and shook her head looking down at the ruined berries. Reaching for her phone she placed it to her ear, “Veronica Jorgenson…” she answered.
“Hello?” The voice on the other lined echoed back.
“Hello? This is Veronica.”
“Veronica, dear. It’s Mama.” Her voice was faint.
After a pause, Veronica was able to find her voice again. “Mama?”
“Yes. I know…it’s been awhile…” Her voice trailed.
Veronica thought how long ago it had been since she’d left home and cut contact with her parents. It wasn’t something she’d wanted to do, it was something she’d had to do. If she ever saw Rainie again she knew her big sister would tell her ‘I told you so’. She and Rainie had severed their own relationship over the very issue. “Seven years.” She nearly whispered into the phone.
“Time sure does go fast.” Sarah-Jayne answered softly.
Veronica didn’t respond. Instead, she grabbed her stomach feeling an intense queasiness take over her insides.
“It’s good to hear your voice, Veronica.”
In all honesty, Veronica wasn’t sure she could say the same. And it was strange not only to hear her mom’s voice, but to be addressed as Veronica by her mother. She’d always called her Ronnie, ever since Rainie had given her the childhood nickname. Although the rest of the world, including her husband, called her Veronica, hearing it from her mama sounded formal. Too formal. “Hang on a minute, Mama…I’ll be right back.” Tossing the phone onto the desk, Veronica rushed the bathroom as her throat tightened and her stomach gurgled. Coming on suddenly, she was thankful it was over quickly. Veronica grabbed a drink of water and wiped her mouth with a clean towel before walking back to her phone.
“Mama? I’m back.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Oh…yes. Sorry about that.”
After another long, awkward pause, Sarah-Jayne spoke. “Have you spoken with your sister?”
“Rainie?”
“As far as I know, she’s your only sister.” Sarah-Jayne laughed quietly.
“Oh, no. Rainie and I haven’t spoken in years.”
“Oh…I thought it was just me and your dad. I didn’t know…” Sarah-Jayne spoke apologetically. “Well then, the reason I called… Veronica, your father was in a car accident. He passed away.” She paused before continuing. “I know it’s asking a lot, being as we haven’t spoken in so many years, but I’d appreciate it very much if you’d come to Corolla. The three of us can spread your daddy’s ashes together, on the beach. I think he’d be at peace with that. Don’t you?”
Stunned, Veronica didn’t know how to respond. “Daddy?”
“Yes, dear.” Her mother explained when and how the accident occurred, assuring her that no other people were involved. Veronica interpreted her message loud and clear, he hadn’t taken any victims this time. She and Rainie had always been terrified he’d get behind the wheel and kill an innocent family on the road. It wasn’t often he was in a position to drive, yet, he always had. She felt relieved he hadn’t harmed anyone else in the accident. At the same time, the moment felt surreal. Her dad had been the reason Rainie had left home and pulled away after high school. Her dad had been the reason Veronica and Rainie had argued and in time it had been enough to dissolve their relationship. Her dad had been the reason for her mama’s unhappiness. He had been the reason they’d all worried when he’d go missing for days or weeks at a time. She shook her head as she stepped on a blueberry, watching its dark juice stain the rug. She’d known the second she dropped the tray of berries it had been a bad sign and once again, she was right.
“Are you okay, Mama?”
“I think we all know this was a long time coming. I don’t want that to come off the wrong way. I… he was a difficult man. He put other things in front of family… I was always worried about this happening…”
“I know…I know.” Veronica chimed in before her mother could finish.
“If you tell me you’ll come to Corolla, I’ll find my strength.”
“Is that a bribe?” Veronica smiled for the first time since she’d heard her mom’s voice.
“Will you come? Tell me you’ll come. I know Rainie would love to see you. I’d love to see you.”
“Yes. I’ll come Mama.” She wanted to tell her she’d missed her. She missed Rainie, too. She wanted to tell her she’d married Andrew, where they lived, what she did for work. She wanted to tell her so many things. But not yet. Maybe once she got to the beach. Maybe then. She’d wait for a sign. Yes, that’s what she’d do. The signs never failed her.
They finished the call with her mother providing her the details of the rented beach house as well as the date and time. When they hung up, Veronica bent to the ground, crawling on all fours to find every scattered blueberry. She noticed she’d stepped on more than one during the phone call. Reaching for her phone she called Andrew on his cell. She knew he was difficult to reach at work, but she wanted to try. She wanted to tell him about the phone call, about her dad’s passing and she wanted to tell him about the trip she’d be taking. After a few rings, Andrew’s voicemail played. “You’ve reached Andrew Jorgenson, I’m not available at this time. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you.” She waited five minutes and tried once more, desperately wanting to get in touch with her husband. When the voicemail played again, she waited for the beep before speaking. “Andrew, it’s me. Everything’s okay. I have some news to share with you. I was hoping to catch you. When you get this message, call me. I love you.”
Glancing at the time, Veronica noticed it was lunch. Andrew was presumably out to eat with his co-workers. He was a sucker for fast food, especially french fries. She decided to send him a text in case he didn’t check his voice mail. She sighed before walking back into her studio and picking up her camera. She finished cleaning up her lighting and props. Removing the lens from her camera, she placed everything neatly away. The inspiration to photograph any more today had vanished. She was going shopping. Maybe, she thought, she’d visit the new antique store that opened in town last week. She’d look for antique cameras to add to her collection, models she didn’t already have. At this point, with twenty-two vintage camera’s in her growing collection, new additions were difficult to find. But they were out there. It wasn’t impossible. And today, she was going to distract herself with a search for a new one. She bit her bottom lip, thinking about what else she needed to do before heading out. Remembering she had a handful of orders to send, she opened her computer. But before her computer came to life, that queasy feeling hit her stomach again and sent her running to the bathroom.
〜
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Cooper McCarty rubbed the light stubble on his chin. “Ten hours is a long drive. Why aren’t you flying?” He let out a long whistle.
“I’ve never flown and don’t particularly want to. And anyway, the drive will do me good. Time to think. You know?” Rainie answered standing in front of Cooper, a slight smile giving way on her lips.
“Scared of flying? Well then, we’re going to have to change that someday.” Cooper laughed. “For someone that’s so tough, I can’t believe you fear so
mething, especially flying.”
Holding her palms up toward him, Rainie smiled. “I may look tough, but I’m far from it. My imperfections can outweigh the best of them.”
“Oh, hardly!” Cooper grabbed Rainie softly around the waist, pulling her toward his chest. “Look at you. Beautiful. Smart. Independent. Running your own non-profit. Strong. I mean, I see you carrying the supplies around this place and they aren’t light.” He winked and then leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “So…one last chance. Do you want me to go with you? I can take a few days off work for a beach vacation.”
Rainie pulled back, looking him in his bright green eyes. “It’s a trip, not a vacation, Cooper.”
“Sounds like a vacation to me.”
“I’m spreading my father’s ashes with my mom and sister whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in years. Not a vacation.”
Cooper pulled her close, kissing the top of her head once again. They’d only been dating for a few months, but he felt the relationship growing more serious between them. They lived two very different lives. He was a realtor in the city and she operated the non-profit sanctuary. Her work required muddy boots while his required shiny Oxford’s. She lived on the farm while he lived in an apartment in the city. But despite their differences, they were drawn to each other. They’d met when he’d come to the farm to volunteer with his real estate company. Every year the company sent a handful of employees to volunteer in their community for one full day. This year, it had been his turn to partake in the charity work. He’d asked Rainie out at the end of the volunteer day. He’d told her he’d enjoyed the day and respected her work. He’d told her about his yellow Labrador Retriever, Max, whom he’d rescued from the city animal shelter a year ago. Rainie and Cooper had been dating ever since. “But, you weren’t close to your father. Right?”
Rainie shook her head. “You don’t understand, Cooper.”
“Then, tell me.”
“It’s not like that. No, we weren’t close as in hugging all of the time…we weren’t that kind of family. But he was my dad.”
Cooper nodded. Rainie took a step back and turned her head to monitor the on-goings of the sanctuary. She watched as Rebecca spoke with a group of teen volunteers, directing them to their tasks for the day. Hector the turkey waddled up to the group and waited impatiently for acknowledgment. Rainie smiled as she watched, reassuring herself that everything would be all right. She would only be gone for a few days. Last night, after a restless night of sleep, she’d decided that she’d go. She’d given her mom her word. And, after all, she felt it was the right thing to do. If Rebecca needed anything or had any concerns, she would call or text Rainie. She knew she could contact her any time, day or night. Rebecca would be staying at the house, too. She’d be there twenty-four seven to make sure all of the animals were well cared for, as well as keeping the business running smoothly. She could trust her, she reminded herself, although her heart was racing at the realization of her brief departure.
“From what you’ve told me, your dad was always around. Mine wasn’t. Daddy would go missing for periods of time…” Rainie’s voice trailed and her eyes drifted once again to the sanctuary, to her volunteers, employees and the animals.
Cooper was looking at his phone. He appeared to be texting with someone. “My dad is a surgeon.” He paused, finishing a text before placing his phone back in his pocket. “He was at work all of the time when I was a kid. I get it. We didn’t see him much.”
Rainie shuffled, feeling her heart beating hard against her chest. “It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t for work. It wasn’t to help his family.” She gulped. “He wasn’t there when we needed him. He put us all through… a lot.”
Rubbing his chin with his hand, a habit Rainie had noticed from the start, Cooper replied, “It couldn’t have been that bad…look at you now. You have everything. You’re beautiful. You built this sanctuary. You have your home.” Cooper motioned to the land around them, raising his eyebrows.
He thought Rainie’s life was effortless. She didn’t wear heels and suits but that didn’t mean her life was easy. Yes, she was a respectable adult but that didn’t mean her childhood hadn’t been difficult. She was offended that he would make such an assumption. Rainie shook her head, fending off tears. Cooper wasn’t understanding. “Cooper, I’m grateful for all of those things, but that’s not what this is about. Life is about more than the visible. I think it’s the intangible things that matter most, what you feel inside.”
“I feel…” Cooper smirked and rubbed his stomach. “I feel hungry. Want to grab a bite to eat before you start your ten-hour journey to the beach, without your boyfriend?”
Rainie sighed. “I can’t.” She grabbed his arm and squeezed once. “I need to speak with Rebecca one more time. And then I really have to get on the road.” She turned to walk toward Rebecca. Her bags were already loaded in her white Jeep Cherokee. She had filled the gas tank the previous night.
“Okay. Your choice.” Cooper shrugged, watching Rainie walk away. “Have a safe trip.” He told her. They hadn’t said I love you yet. They weren’t quite there. But, as Cooper walked back to his own car, a sleek silver BMW Z4, he wondered if it was Rainie’s nerves about the trip that had her on edge or if it was something more. Climbing into his car, he decided it was only her nerves. She’d told him herself, she’d never gone away from the sanctuary for this long. She was anxious. But still, she was going to the beach. Who wouldn’t love that?
As Cooper carefully pulled down the long gravel drive and onto the road, Rainie spoke with Rebecca providing final instructions. She reminded her once again to call or text anytime, day or night, with any concerns or to give her an update. “Never feel like you’re bothering me. I want to hear how everything’s going. It will make me feel less stressed if I hear from you, rather than if I don’t hear from you. Okay?”
Rebecca promised she’d be in touch every day. She’d also promised Rainie with a giant hug, that all of the animals would be in good hands. They would get plenty of love, as they always did, and the best of care. Rainie believed her. She fully trusted Rebecca. What she didn’t trust was herself and facing what she’d thought she’d left behind her, in her past. When she’d finished talking with Rebecca and told her she was really leaving this time (she’d told her she was pulling out an hour earlier and then clearly stalled), Rainie bent down to kiss Dustin the donkey on his furry head. He nestled his nose against her arm, begging for more attention. “I’ll miss you, Dustin. But I’ll be back in a few days.” She whispered to him. Peggy and Sam, two pigs on the farm waddled up to her as she stood petting Dustin. “You two are so smart.” Rainie doted. She knew the dynamic duo sensed she was taking off for a few days. She could see it in their beady eyes. “I’ll be back soon. I’ve got to get going, but you guys make it hard. I’m going to miss you. You’re in good hands with Miss Rebecca.” Rainie spent time petting each of the animals. Peggy and Sam had been inseparable since coming to the sanctuary. There wasn’t anywhere one went without the other. They snuggled together every night, too. They were as closely bonded as two living beings could be and Rainie had always admired that about them. To have a connection and a love so strong that you never tired of each other, she thought, that was something rare and real. That, was something special.
As Rainie climbed in her Jeep to leave a few moments later, tears filled her eyes. She hoped she came back the same person as she was right now. She had built a wonderful life for herself here in Lexington. She loved the sanctuary. She loved her work. And she’d worked hard to put the past behind her. As she started the engine and backed out of the driveway, butterflies danced in her stomach. As much as she wanted things to stay the same, something told her everything was about to change.
3
CHAPTER THREE
HANNAH / CHICKEN
A retired hen, Hannah li v ed her life in an overcrowded factory farm. When she was no longer in her reproductive prime, she was scheduled for slaughter. Luckily, sh
e came to safety at the sanctuary instead. She still lays multiple eggs every week. Because she lived her entire life in a cage, indoors, it took more than a year for her to begin roaming the safe, grassy grounds of the sanctuary. She will happily reside at the sanctuary for the duration of her life.
FACTS: Chickens love to sunbath e, run and play. A mother hen begins teaching cal ls to her chicks before they hatch. Chickens have empathy for each other and hens will defend their young from any perceived predators.
Pacing the floors of the beach house, Sarah-Jayne stared out the vast windows that provided her with a gorgeous Oceanfront view. Corolla had always been a place of refuge in her mind. Although they’d only taken one trip here as a family many years ago, the Outer Banks held special meaning to her. It represented a time, however short, of peace and happiness. Of laughter. Of family. She’d lost count of how many times she’d thought about this beach over the years. It was freeing, being here now, even under the circumstances. For the first time in as long as she could remember, Sarah-Jayne could breathe. The nagging heavy weight she’d carried on her shoulders somehow felt lighter. She loved the fact that the windows didn’t have any curtains or blinds. They were open, allowing the sunlight to flood into every detail of the beach house. She’d rented a yellow house on the oceanside. The houses in Corolla were on stilts to keep them safe from hurricanes and floods as much as possible. The wrap-around deck held two large porch swings that overlooked the aquamarine ocean. They had a private pool fenced on the side of the house that also boasted breathtaking ocean views.