'Tis the Season to be Single

by Laura Ziepe

  She watched him as he walked over with two steaming mugs. ‘What’s up?’ she asked. ‘You’ve suddenly gone all silent – you’re in a world of your own. Do you want to go home? I think I’m pretty much done now anyway.’

  ‘Okay.’ Simon nodded, looking at a spot on the table, something clearly on his mind.

  ‘Come on, Simon. Is something the matter? Please say,’ Grace begged, racking her brains for a reason as to why he’d suddenly turned miserable.

  Simon took a deep breath. ‘I was just thinking, that’s all. I watched you come out of that dressing room looking like a million dollars, and I just thought, I should be there. I should be going with you to that ball. All the single men that work in your store will be all over you and you know it. How do you think that makes me feel? I’d never do this to you. I’m your husband and things have been going great between us. We had a blip in the road like tons of couples do, but we’ll make it work. I just can’t see why you’re so ashamed to admit to your friends and family that you’ve given me another chance. It’s not like I’ve had an affair or anything,’ he huffed grouchily.

  Grace narrowed her eyes. ‘You were awful to me, Simon. I really don’t think you realize how unhappy I was at the very end. I used to dread you coming home…’ She tailed off remembering the bad memories. ‘I used to cry myself to sleep for Christ’s sake. You’d changed. You didn’t seem to care about anything. I felt invisible and insignificant. It was unbearable being married to you. I hated being around you.’ The words flew out of her mouth and Simon flinched, looking really hurt.

  He tapped his foot under the table irritably as he spoke. ‘Wow. Thanks, Grace,’ he said, looking really put out by her words. ‘I’ve been trying so hard. I just want to come home. I want to go to your ball and spend Christmas with you. I don’t care about whether it’s with your family or whether you want to spend the entire day freezing cold in a park somewhere; I just want to be with you. You either forgive me and give me another chance or you don’t. I just can’t be kept on a piece of string, hoping that today is the day you let me back for good. I can’t sit back and watch you live your life as though you’re single one minute and back in a relationship the next. It’s not fair on me.’ He pushed his chair back and stood up.

  ‘Simon, don’t you think you’re overreacting? You know I don’t want to be with anyone else, especially any of the men from Tidemans.’ Grace clicked her tongue, surprised by his outburst. ‘Come on, just sit back down. Please. I will be ready soon. I’m just scared, I told you before.’

  ‘Of what, Grace? That I’ll turn straight back into the person I was at the end? Really? Can’t you see I’ve learnt my lesson? Do you honestly think I’d just risk it all again?’

  Grace bit her thumbnail. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Well, let me know when you do know,’ Simon said, at the end of his tether, before spinning round and walking away. ‘I can’t wait around forever.’

  Grace sipped her coffee, a tear sliding down her cheek. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just go back to normal with Simon? Did she really just think he’d go back to the old Simon again? She wasn’t sure anymore, but she knew she would feel guilty taking him to the Christmas ball after their pact. However silly that may be. But how would she feel if the roles were reversed? Grace had always been carefree and easygoing, but she had to admit she could see where Simon was coming from. Perhaps he thought she was having her cake and eating it? Even though she wasn’t seeing anyone else. The only person she loved was Simon. He was the only man she had any interest in. Thinking about it now he’d left, she did want him by her side at the Christmas ball. It simply wouldn’t be the same without him. He seemed pretty angry though, and Grace just hoped she wasn’t too late.

  Chapter 28

  Rachel had been to her parents’ house for dinner and as she walked up the path towards Grace’s house to go home, she heard a car door open behind her.

  ‘Finally,’ she heard a voice say loudly, and she knew instinctively it was Nick. She spun round to see him standing there, his bright blues eyes piercing through her.

  ‘You scared me,’ she gasped. ‘Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to jump out at young women alone in the dark?’ She couldn’t believe he was waiting for her. It made her feel better though she couldn’t help feeling sorry for his wife. What on earth was he playing at?

  ‘Sorry, but can I please talk to you?’ Nick pleaded.

  Rachel fumbled in her bag for her house keys, ‘Honestly, what on earth can you possibly say? How long have you been sitting there?’

  ‘A couple of hours maybe.’ Nick shrugged casually, as though it wasn’t a big deal. As though she was worth it.

  ‘I’m tired. You should be at home with your wife,’ Rachel told him stonily.

  ‘Just hear me out for five minutes, how about that? If you still want to never talk to me again, then I’ll accept it and never bother you again,’ he said, opening his car door and gesticulating for her to get in the passenger seat.

  ‘How do I know you won’t kidnap me?’ Rachel asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

  ‘Damn, my grand plan to kidnap you has been uncovered,’ he replied, deadpan.

  Rachel sighed. ‘Very well. Five minutes only.’ She made her way into the passenger seat of his car, inhaling his lovely aftershave scent. ‘I just don’t know what you can possibly say to me though. Not when you’ve admitted you’re married.’

  ‘Will you ever just let me speak?’ he asked impatiently with a frown.

  Rachel paused for a moment. ‘Go on then. Speak.’

  Nick looked out of the front window as he spoke. ‘I met Claire at college.’ He glanced at her quickly and then added, ‘that’s my wife.’

  ‘I gathered that,’ Rachel replied touchily.

  ‘We were young and after a few years together, we split up. Not for any particular reason, but I guess things started to get serious and we both got cold feet. It was only for a month, but during that time I had fun with friends. I was forever going out and getting drunk, meeting new people. Just a typical bloke in his early twenties I guess. I just wanted to forget about it all, you know? Anyhow, Claire wanted to get back together and when we did she found out that I’d slept with someone she knew during our break. She went crazy and looking back, I think she never trusted me again after that point, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. We should never have got back together.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s easy to see that now. Claire had this need to be the perfect couple and after I’d been with this other girl, she felt that everyone thought our relationship was a joke. As though it had become tarnished. She’s always cared too much about what others think.’

  ‘I don’t see what this has to do with anything,’ Rachel stated, feeling perplexed.

  ‘Claire was a bit possessive with me after the break. She’d make up excuses as to why I needed to be home if she knew I had a night out, or she’d swear that I fancied a waitress in a restaurant when I hadn’t even noticed anybody else around me. She became very unsure of herself, relying on me and wanting me by her side, and I wanted to make things work. Despite it all, I guess I still loved her. I proposed to her when I was twenty-seven and we got married when we were twenty-nine. Eventually she started to be the old Claire again and I thought everything was great. She fell pregnant with Noah shortly after the wedding though, and that’s when things started to fall apart.’ He sighed, clenching his jaw. ‘It was as if all the old insecurities and paranoia issues came back as soon as he was born. She’s always been a bit of a control freak, you see, and she hated how having a baby changed her life and her body. She became so difficult to live with and it was as though there was nothing I could ever do that was right. She went to a doctor and got help, but our relationship just wasn’t the same. I don’t think it can ever be the same again. We’ve been separated for nearly a year now, but Claire has always been one to keep up appearances and has begged me not to tell anyone at Noah’s school. Noah doesn’t
really understand what it means that I don’t live there anymore as we just tell him I’m working and Claire wants it to stay that way until he’s a little older and we can explain. Her parents divorced when she was younger and she’s been really worried about the effect it will have on Noah. Obviously our family and close friends know we’re no longer together, it’s just people at Noah’s school who don’t. I know all the mums think Claire’s perfect, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. I couldn’t care less who knows, but Claire does; it’s just the way she is.’

  Rachel nodded, feeling relieved that Nick was actually single and she hadn’t been part of a sordid affair. ‘The phone calls. Were they from her? Was it Claire who was making you angry all those times?’

  ‘Yes it was,’ he admitted. ‘It was my decision to separate and Claire likes to still try to be in charge of me, even though we’re no longer a couple. She’s started to use Noah as a weapon if I don’t do what she wants. She makes my life hell at times, if I’m honest. I think it’s partly my fault for allowing her to get away with it for so long. I’ve always respected her as the mother of my child, but lately I’ve been thinking that enough is enough. I’ve had enough of dancing to her tune. If I can’t make time to collect Noah when she wants, she threatens that I won’t ever see him again. But then the following weekend she’ll be going out with friends and suddenly I wake up with a text message that she’s dropping him over for the weekend, slating me because I don’t see him enough. When she’s had a bad day, she’ll send me abusive messages. I can only ever see Noah when it suits her. I don’t want any kind of relationship with her ever again; I just want to be a good father to my son. I’m going to take her to court and get parental rights. I don’t want to have to ask her if it’s okay to see my son anymore and let her call all the shots. I’ve had enough.’

  ‘Things can’t be that bad if you were with her the other day at the Christmas play though, surely?’ Rachel questioned, unable to help still being a little suspicious. She’d really believed that Nick had been married and it was hard adjusting to the new picture, though she was thrilled with the news.

  ‘She told me if I didn’t go with her that I wouldn’t be able to see him the week after,’ he explained, a vein pulsing in his neck. ‘I wanted to go of course, but I just think it’s about time we told Noah we’re no longer together. I don’t want to have to pretend to be a couple. Personally, I think we’re just confusing him.’

  ‘But she can’t stop you from seeing your son if you don’t do what she tells you?’ Rachel was horrified.

  ‘This is why I know I must take her to court. I’ve been so worried she has the power to stop me seeing Noah as much as I’d like to, and I stupidly thought if I did the little things she wants, she’d let me have a good relationship with him. Now I know I just need to find out my rights. I’ll see him as much as I can,’ he said looking tired with the situation. ‘After you stopped talking to me because you thought I was married, I realized this all has to stop, like I said. I’ve had enough of being manipulated and controlled by Claire. We’re over and I need a clean slate.’

  Rachel had to admit she felt overjoyed with the news. She was relieved. Could she handle being with a man with so much drama in his life? She wasn’t so sure. Mark had always been so straightforward; she didn’t think he even had an ex-girlfriend, but look how that had turned out in the end. He’d certainly never had a deranged ex-wife who tried to pretend to be perfect and rule over her ex-husband with their son. Would Claire make their lives difficult? As she gazed at Nick’s mesmerising blue eyes, she knew she had to give things a go with him. She would deal with any difficulties they faced when it happened. ‘Does Claire still love you?’ she wondered.

  ‘Honestly?’ Nick stared outside again. ‘I just think being with me is a habit. I think she doesn’t quite know how to be without me. She likes to think she has me at her beck and call if she needs it, but I told you, not anymore. Meeting you has probably been the wakeup call I needed to realize that the way she treats me is unacceptable. The truth is, I haven’t been happy in ages; not until that day you drove into my car.’

  ‘Perhaps it’s lucky I’m a bit of a careless driver then?’ Rachel smirked. Her stomach turned over when he reached over and took her hand in his.

  ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was married. I was meaning to. I just didn’t know how to begin to even explain what Claire was like. I was worried if I told you I wasn’t yet divorced and had a child, you’d run a mile. Especially because I like you so much, Rachel,’ he said seriously.

  ‘I like you too. Why do you think I was so upset that you were married? I just really wish you’d been honest with me from the start.’

  He sighed heavily. ‘I know I should have been. Please forgive me? I promise I’ll be honest about everything from now on. I was just scared, that’s all. I found it hard to believe that you’d be interested when I come along with baggage.’

  ‘It’s not surprising to meet a man in his thirties whose been married and has a child,’ Rachel told him. ‘Besides, I like children. I wouldn’t have minded. I’d rather just be told the truth no matter what.’

  ‘Noted and I’m so sorry,’ he repeated.

  ‘Okay, I forgive you.’ Rachel gave him a warm smile.

  ‘Good. That’s that then. Let me take you for dinner on Saturday night? I want to make it up to you. I promise you won’t regret giving me another chance.’

  Rachel smiled; it was like music to her ears. She’d felt so down in the dumps again after being told Nick was married and had been trying to brush herself off, hold her head high and get involved in the cheeriness of the Christmas spirit. But now she felt content again, she couldn’t wait for celebrating and doing all the things she usually loved. She was about to reply that she’d love nothing more than to go to dinner when she remembered it was the Tidemans Christmas ball. She felt disappointed immediately, knowing that she couldn’t see him Sunday due to plans with her family, and Christmas was only a few days after that. Life would be manic. He could tell by her face she wasn’t free.

  ‘Do you have plans Saturday?’

  ‘It’s my work Christmas ball,’ she told him ruefully.

  ‘Ah, I understand; my work doesn’t allow us to bring anyone else along either.’

  ‘No, it’s not that,’ Rachel replied. ‘We’re actually allowed to bring partners along if we wish…’ She stopped speaking, feeling silly for the reason he couldn’t go. She’d have loved nothing more than to take Nick along with her. She wanted to spend time with him and get to know him. Every little thing about him. Now she’d discovered he was separated she really wanted her friends to meet him and see what a nice guy he actually was. ‘My friends and I made some silly pact, that’s all.’

  ‘A pact?’ Nick looked like he was about to laugh. ‘Sounds like something teenagers would do in a film or something.’

  ‘Yes I know, but we did. When me and Mark split up and Grace broke up with Simon, we decided that we would be single at Christmas and promised we’d go to the Christmas ball just me, Grace and Amber. You know, so we wouldn’t feel alone. No dates allowed.’ She attempted a smile, but couldn’t help but think about what would happen if she changed her mind and invited Nick.

  ‘Okay,’ Nick said understandingly, brushing the hair away from her face. ‘I’m sure I can see you another time,’ he said before turning her head towards his and kissing her mouth.

  Rachel felt like she was melting and drifting away to another world as they kissed. She couldn’t see Nick before Christmas or even afterwards. In fact, she was worried she wouldn’t be able to see him again until after the New Year. She had so many people in her family to see and her grandparents would be staying over. She doubted there would be much free time to go out and meet him, there never usually was. Christmas was always such a busy period and she was working back at Tidemans the day after Boxing Day. ‘The thing is,’ she admitted, chewing the flesh inside her lower lip, ‘I want to see you on
Saturday. It will be so busy afterwards and I’m certain you’ll also be busy seeing family and friends over Christmas.’

  ‘Well, yes,’ he agreed.

  ‘Come to the ball with me?’ Rachel asked before she had a chance to think about it. She felt guilty the moment the words passed her lips; she’d promised the others she’d be single for the ball and she knew they weren’t taking dates. Surely they would understand her situation though? Finding out that Nick was single again was the best news she’d had in ages and she knew her friends wanted her to be happy. They wouldn’t be too annoyed with her, would they? She was hardly committing a crime bringing a date along. Maybe she would convince Grace to bring her new man, but then what about Amber? She certainly couldn’t allow Amber to be the only single one and things with Jack were pretty fragile at the moment.

  ‘Are you sure? What about the pact?’

  Rachel grit her teeth together. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m so pleased you’re not still with your wife, that I don’t care. Everyone is allowed to be selfish sometimes, aren’t they? I want you there with me and I’m sure my friends will get over it. They’ll be glad for me, I’m sure. Maybe I can just say that you turned up as a surprise?’ She thought, blinking hard as the idea came to her.

  His lips twitched into a half-smile. ‘They won’t believe you.’

  ‘Well, it’s worth a try,’ Rachel responded, feeling excited that Nick was going to go with her. ‘I want you there,’ she said in a honey-like voice, touching his arm gently.

  Nick shot her a devastating smile. ‘Then I’ll come.’

  As he kissed her, Rachel pushed the thoughts of breaking the pact to the back of her mind. She just hoped her friends weren’t taking it as seriously as she envisaged.

  Chapter 29

  It didn’t matter how many times Amber told herself that her father was back in her life, it still felt alien to be sitting across a table from him. Here he was finally; the man she had tried to picture countless times in her head. She could see she had the same dark grey eyes and olive skin. Finally, she could see where she’d inherited her straight, slim nose from; her mother’s was a completely different shape. She’d wondered for years what her father was really like, and now he wanted a relationship with her after all this time. Just like she’d always secretly longed for. It still didn’t stop her feeling angry that he hadn’t tried harder to have a relationship with her over the years, but Amber was attempting to give him a chance. After all, he was the only father she’d ever get and he’d missed out on enough of her life.