The Days of Redemption [03] Eventide

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “You think so?”

  “Maybe.” Needing to be closer to her, he reached out and pulled her coffee cup from her hands and set it on the table. Then, he did the unthinkable and linked their fingers together. Just as if they were an engaged couple instead of two neighbors who’d only spent a little bit of time together.

  Staring at their linked hands, liking how her slim fingers looked against his larger tanned ones, he went on. “I want to know what you’re facing, Elsie. I want to know so we both can discover the truth about how you can get help.”

  But instead of bringing her closer, his words seemed to push her away.

  With a look of regret, she removed her hand from his. “My future is no great secret, Landon. One day I won’t be able to see.”

  “I understand that, but I guess I just want the chance to hear it from the doctor myself.”

  “Why?”

  “Because then we’ll know what we’re facing.” When he noticed that her bottom lip was trembling, he pushed his case. “Look what I found at the library,” he said, pulling out one of the audio books. “It’s a book you can listen to instead of read. I asked your brother to ask the bishop to give you permission to have a CD player to listen to the books.”

  “Really?”

  She looked so dumbfounded that he had to coax himself not to smile at her. If he did that, she would no doubt misunderstand. He nodded vigorously instead. “If the bishop approves, you can get your own CD player and headphones. Then you can read what you want to read whenever you want to.”

  “I wouldn’t have to do without books. I could read again. I mean, almost.”

  She looked so grateful, it just about broke his heart. “Elsie, I don’t want to shelter you, I want to help you. There’s a difference, don’t you think?” he asked softly.

  Before his eyes, she softened. “Landon, I don’t know what to tell you. I put up a strong front, but I think I’m scared to know the truth. I don’t want to hear the news about my future. I don’t want to be blind and helpless.”

  “I can understand that.”

  “If I let you go to the doctor with me, will you let me ask the questions?”

  “I’ll do my best. But if I have questions, I’m going to ask them, too.”

  At first she looked irritated because he didn’t agree to her wishes right away. But then she chuckled. “Is this how it’s going to be between us, Landon?”

  “If you mean, am I not going to let you walk over me? Jah.”

  To his pleasure, she laughed. Picking up her coffee cup again, she leaned back against the couch. “In that case, you may go to the doctor with me. My appointment is at eleven. The driver is picking me up at ten.”

  “Okay. I’ll walk over a little before then.”

  “Now, can we talk about something else? Anything but my eyes?”

  There it was again—that rush of adrenaline he felt every time she smiled at him. Letting him know that with prayer and hope and faith, anything in their future was possible.

  As long as he didn’t lose her, anything was fine with him. “Elsie Keim, we can talk about whatever you want.” He’d never been more honest.

  Do you hear them, Peter? Marie asked from their spots on the couch in the living room. “I think Elsie and that Landon are really getting along.”

  “They might be getting along too well,” Peter grumbled, thinking that they’d already heard too much soft murmuring coming from the next room. “She seems to really like this man.”

  “Of course you feel a bit worried. You’re Elsie’s father,” she teased with a smile. “No father wants to watch his daughter fall in love.”

  “I didn’t do too badly with Viola,” he protested.

  “Elsie’s always seemed younger.”

  “True. But it’s more than that. Elsie has been the one we’ve all sheltered.”

  “As much as she’s allowed us.”

  “I don’t want her to get hurt, Marie. You know, not all romances end with love and marriage. She could get her heart broken.”

  “She told me she’d rather get hurt than never have a chance to do everything she wants to do. She said that even though her eyes aren’t perfect, she wants to live her life to the fullest.”

  That was just the kind of thing he didn’t understand. Elsie was precious. Special. Pain didn’t feel good. How could she want to get hurt? It made no sense.

  “She’s been living, Marie.”

  “Don’t be thickheaded, Peter. You know what I mean.” She looked as if she was about to add some more when she was seized by a coughing fit.

  Instantly, the worry about her health rushed forward all over again. Rubbing her back, he said, “Marie, I fear you are wearing yourself out. You need to rest more.”

  “I’ve been resting. Peter, you’ve practically kept me in bed from the moment I got home from the hospital. I haven’t had a chance to get tired.”

  “Your body says otherwise,” he said when she coughed again.

  “It’s a lingering cough. That’s all.” Sitting up straighter, she said, “Actually, I think tomorrow morning I’m going to go back to my regular routine. It’s high time I got out of bed with the sun, got dressed, and take back control of my haus.”

  “Not so fast. You are supposed to rest.”

  “I did.”

  “There’s no hurry. For your information, I’ve been doing pretty good at keeping the house running.”

  “Oh, I’ve heard how you’ve been doing,” she said with a wry smile.

  Feeling a bit embarrassed, he frowned. “I’ve discovered that taking care of the house is more difficult than I thought.”

  “Luckily the girls helped you some.”

  “They helped a lot.” He felt his neck redden. “Yes, Viola and Elsie and Amanda have been doing their fair share, for sure. More than their fair share, as a matter of fact.”

  “How are you getting along with the kinner?”

  “For the most part, okay, I guess. I’ve had a couple of good conversations with each child.”

  “That’s gut.”

  “It’s a start.” He nodded. “I think it helps that my parents are in Pennsylvania. With Mamm and Daed gone, we all have even more work than usual.”

  “Work can be a blessing.”

  “And this might sound unfeeling, but your being in the hospital helped me get back to normal with the kinner. We were so worried about you, we didn’t have time to bring up all of my faults.”

  She winced. “Peter, don’t say such things. They weren’t simply ‘faults.’ You had a problem. A serious problem. A disease, remember?”

  “If I do have an alcohol disease, it’s been of my own making, I’m afraid.” He wondered if he would ever be able to forgive himself for the trouble he’d put everyone he loved through. His own weakness had forced everyone in the family to pick up the slack—most of all, his lovely wife. “I don’t know how to ever tell you how sorry I am, Marie. I feel like I’ve really let you down.”

  “You did not let me down. We’ve been together for many, many years, Peter. These problems only lasted a brief moment of that time.”

  Thinking about that, about one of his favorite Scripture verses from First Corinthians, “This too shall pass,” he agreed. “Though I did have a problem, it’s behind me now. My counselors have told me that I’m well on my way to a complete recovery. They reminded me that my treatment program is an ongoing thing. I’ve had to learn to make some changes in my life. I’ve had to learn to adopt these new habits even on difficult days.”

  “And you’ve been successful, Peter.”

  “It’s still been hard, Marie,” he murmured so softly she had to lean closer to hear. “I don’t know if I’ll ever completely lose the craving I had for alcohol.”

  “I know.”

  Her confidence in him was humbling. “
Sometimes I don’t think I deserve you, Marie.”

  “You do. Once more, we deserve each other. For better or worse.” After gazing at him for a long moment she said, “Peter, it’s time we got back to normal.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been able to forgive me?”

  “Of course. I love you, Peter. That has never changed.”

  “Well, maybe things really can get back to normal.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Well, as normal as things can get around here.”

  For a moment, he was tempted to reach for her hand.

  Years ago when they were first married, he used to kiss her palm. She would then close her fingers around the kiss, saying that she wanted to keep that kiss close to her heart.

  But were they that close again? He was afraid to kiss her palm and not see her fold her fingers around it.

  Instead, he stood up and forced himself to smile easily.

  “Now, I do believe, I’ll go check on our Elsie and her suitor. Just to make sure, you know, that things are all right.”

  Her musical laughter filled his heart as he left the living room and stayed with him right until he noticed just how close that Landon Troyer was sitting next to Elsie on the couch.

  Too close, by his estimation.

  Feeling almost pleased to have something constructive to do, he strode into the room. “Elsie, is there a problem?”

  As he’d hoped, both she and Landon jumped . . . and scooted a bit farther apart.

  “Nothing’s the matter, Daed.”

  “Gut.” For good measure, he scowled at Landon. “Nothing had better be the matter.”

  While Landon looked slightly embarrassed, and Elsie sighed, he turned and walked into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of tea for Marie.

  He had to smile to himself. Oh, how he remembered the early, tentative days of courting Marie. It was so long ago, but that feeling of anticipation that settled in your stomach—he remembered that as if it were yesterday. Well, if Elsie really was falling for this man, all he could do was pray that God would guide her and protect her precious heart.

  chapter nineteen

  Sara and her husband, Jay, were waiting at the Old Candle Barn in Intercourse when Lovina and Aaron’s bus pulled in at two in the afternoon.

  Lovina recognized them immediately. Sara was tall, and Jay had bright red hair and a bright red beard. They were easy to spot in any crowd. But privately, Lovina suspected she would have spotted them anywhere, she was so anxious to see them.

  When he noticed them, Aaron faltered a bit as they gathered their items and started down the aisle. “Sara came.”

  “Jah. She did.”

  “I was afraid to hope that she’d be here,” he murmured.

  “Me, too,” she admitted. Feeling embarrassed, she added, “I’ve felt so bad about our long separation, I couldn’t even bring myself to call her before we left. I wrote her a hasty note instead. I wasn’t even sure the letter would get here before we did.”

  “Perhaps she was as eager to see us as we were to see her.”

  Well, they could only hope.

  Peeking at Sara again, Lovina noticed that their eldest daughter looked as beautiful as ever. And also just as determined and reserved. She always had had that look about her, Lovina thought. By the time Sara was five or six, Lovina had begun to rely on her help.

  Sara had never shied away from it. She’d always been by Lovina’s side, helping with everything from dishes to watching the little ones to feeding the animals in the barn. But then the teenage years had come. Sara had fallen in love with Jay and eventually moved to Lancaster County, much to her parents’ dismay. That was the one place Lovina and Aaron had vowed never to visit. And because Lovina and Aaron had been more determined to stay far from the pain of their pasts instead of keeping a close relationship with their daughter, their bond slowly strained, then finally broke apart.

  “I’ve missed Sara,” he murmured. “To my shame, I tried not to think about her, because I missed her so much.”

  “I did the same thing sometimes,” she said as they waited for the driver to pull out one more of their bags from the luggage compartment of the bus.

  Lovina peeked at Sara again. She didn’t look all that happy to see them, but to be fair, she’d rarely ever showed her emotions. Of all their children, Sara was the most like her father. She rarely spoke her mind and had a habit of standing rather stiffly, watching the world go by with a quiet expression on her face.

  It used to drive Aden and Peter crazy when they were younger. Both had been chatty boys with big hearts and had never had much patience for a sister who rarely smiled.

  Much of Sara’s reserved manner had seemingly changed overnight when she and Jay started courting, though. Jay was as easygoing as Sara was not. Lovina had been relieved to see that he could always manage to coax a grin or a burst of laughter from Sara when no one else was able to.

  Finally their bag was retrieved and they were on their way.

  When they were within calling distance, Lovina raised a hand and called out a little hello.

  After a moment’s pause, Sara lifted her hand. Her husband smiled but remained quiet. Lovina knew he was letting Sara take the lead.

  Please Got, she prayed silently to herself. Please help me find the right words to say. Now, more than ever, Lovina wanted to heal their relationship, not make more fissures.

  After a pause, Aaron took the lead and quickened his steps. “Sara and Jay, it’s mighty gut to see you again!” he called out heartily. “Thank you for coming here to meet us.”

  Right away, Jay stepped forward. “I’m glad to see you, too, Aaron. We wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else.”

  “I am glad to see you, Daed. At long last,” Sara said quietly.

  “Ah. Jah,” Aaron said, then looked over his shoulder at Lovina. Her heart sank. She knew that look. He was disappointed with their daughter’s greeting and unsure of what to do next.

  Well, she supposed she could do her best to patch things by keeping her voice merry and light. “You two are a sight for sore eyes. And sore backs, too,” she joked. “Boy, am I happy to get off that bus,” she said as she caught up with them.

  Then, without giving Sara a chance to do anything else, Lovina reached out and hugged her daughter. After the briefest of seconds, Sara lifted her arms and hugged her back. Tightly.

  And just like that, the years and the distance and the excuses melted away. For a few moments, at least, things were back like they used to be when Sara was a little girl. Her sweet daughter was close at hand, and because of that, Lovina felt better than ever.

  “I’ve missed you, Sara,” she said. “I truly have.”

  “I’ve . . . I’ve missed you, too, Mamm.”

  Oh, those were golden words. Wonderful to hear. Never would she take such things for granted ever again. Too soon, they broke apart. That’s when Lovina realized her eyes were a bit damp.

  “My eyes can’t seem to stop watering,” she muttered as she wiped her cheeks.

  “It’s all right, Mamm. Mine seem to be doing the same thing.” This time, when Sara smiled, it looked far more genuine.

  “Sara, do you think you can give me one of those?” Aaron asked, his arms already half open.

  “Of course, Daed,” she said, walking into her father’s arms.

  As Lovina shared a quick hug with Jay, she realized that this trip had already accomplished something wonderful. It had brought them to their daughter.

  Before it was too late to make things right.

  “I can’t wait to see the kinner,” Lovina said. “Aden said when he saw them your boys were mighty rambunctious.”

  Jay chuckled as he grabbed one of their suitcases. “That’s one way of putting it. There’s others, far less complimentary.”

  After getting the other bags, Aaron and Lo
vina followed Sara to the van and driver who was waiting.

  After they all piled into the van, they were on their way to Bird-in-Hand. She and Aaron were in the back row of the van, Jay and Sara in the bench seat in front of them.

  As the driver pulled onto the highway, Lovina couldn’t help but gaze out the window, anxious to see everything that looked the same but yet so different.

  Beside her, she noticed Aaron doing much the same. “It looks so different,” he murmured. “I should have realized that it would.”

  “When was the last time you were here, Aaron?” Jay asked.

  “Long before you were born.”

  Sara turned to look at them. “I wish you would have come out here before now.”

  “I know. I wish we would have, too.” Lovina paused, then dived in. “I know you’ve talked to Peter and Sam and Lorene about everything . . . ”

  “Your past wouldn’t have made much difference to me, Mamm.”

  “I know that. I guess I was hoping that might explain a bit more our reluctance to visit. And I just kept hoping you would come back home,” Lovina said. She felt bad about their estrangement, but she wasn’t willing to take all of the blame. Though she’d never exactly said so, Lovina was fairly sure that Sara had moved far away on purpose.

  “Lovina,” Aaron whispered. “We will talk. But later. Now is not the time.”

  “I can’t help how I feel.” She needed to defend herself. “But you’re right. I feel bad about how I handled things.”

  Sara stared at her again. “Muddah, you are going to tell me everything now, right?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Good, because everyone has a different story about what is going on with the two of you.”

  Lovina raised a brow. “And who is everyone, child?”

  “You know. Sam, Lorene, Aden . . . ”

  “I suppose everyone has something to say. You could have asked me, you know,” Lovina reminded her.

  But instead of taking the olive branch, Sara’s voice hardened. “Oh, please. For as long as I can remember, you’ve never talked about things that make you uncomfortable.”

  Jay laid a calming hand on his wife’s arm. “We’re almost home, Sara. We can discuss things there.”