by T. K. Chapin
“Thank you.” Slipping Redeeming Love beneath my Bible, my heart warmed at her kindness. “I gotta get going, but I appreciate the help.”
“No problem. Hope to see you on Sunday!”
“You will.”
I headed back toward the register. Glancing over my shoulder to see Chelsea still browsing the Christian Romance section, I smiled as I thought about her and Serenah’s kindness toward me. They weren’t like my grandfather at all. They weren’t all about the semantics. They seemed set apart.
I looked forward to getting home and diving into God’s word, and maybe later that evening I’d entertain the idea of jumping into Redeeming Love.
My phone inside my purse rang while I was still standing in line.
Scrambling to get to it before the call was missed, I set the Bible and novel down on a table of books near me.
It was Winston. I hurried to answer hoping he hadn’t been waiting for me. “Hey, sorry. I’m just checking out at—”
Someone else’s voice interrupted me. “Hey, it’s Kirk. You gotta get down here ASAP. Winston fell and is unconscious.”
A scream caught silently in my throat, and I ran from the store, leaving the books behind. My only thought was that of my husband.
Chapter 21-Marie
ARRIVING IN THE PARKING LOT, my entire body trembled when I saw an ambulance sitting near the entrance of the office building. Kirk had informed me on the phone that Bruce had challenged Winston to a pullup challenge and they were going at it side by side in the weight room when Winston’s grip slipped. Without his legs working properly to break his fall, he fell back and hit his head against the hard rubber mat, knocking him unconscious.
As I ran toward the building, Winston’s voice startled me.
“Marie.”
He was sitting in his wheelchair near the bumper of the ambulance holding an ice pack on his head.
“Oh, Winston! I was so worried.”
Holding up a hand to block me from coming closer, he lowered the pack and said, “That’s enough. I just got the wind knocked out of me.”
“You were knocked unconscious, so it’s a big deal.” I touched his arm. “Let’s get you to the hospital to get checked out.”
“I said I’m fine. I told the paramedics I’m not going to the hospital.” He pulled his arm away from me.
“Is that really a good idea?” I asked, watching as he disengaged the brakes on his wheelchair. “You’re supposed to get a full checkup anytime you lose consciousness.”
He wheeled toward our vehicle in the parking lot, ignoring me.
I followed. “Winston!”
Obviously frustrated, he zipped his wheelchair quickly in a circle to face me.
“Can you stop treating me like a child for two seconds, Marie?”
“I will, once you stop acting like one! If it was me who lost consciousness you would insist I go to the hospital, Winston Immanuel Jones! I almost lost you once and I refuse to lose you now because of your oversized-ego.” My voice raised an octave with each word, my heartache and worry along with them.
“Shush. You’re making a scene, Marie.” His glare was as cold as the icy chill in the ever-present November air. A moment later, he turned and continued onward to the car.
I heard footsteps behind me and turned to face a paramedic. “Ma’am, I checked him over as much as he’d allow. Although a CAT scan would alleviate any concerns, I’m pretty sure he’s okay. If he vomits or falls asleep and can’t be awakened, call 9-1-1, but otherwise I wouldn’t worry.”
“Thank you.” I nodded and he went back to the ambulance. When I turned around, Winston had already shut the door and was in the car. As I walked in silence to our car, I reached for calm as I put his wheelchair in the trunk. There was a cold silence between us as I drove back to Newport that afternoon. It was becoming clear that my choice to follow God had done nothing to improve our relationship, and though I hadn’t done it to impress Winston, I thought it might have had at least a slightly positive impact.
My heart felt shattered as I felt my husband withdrawing more from me. I knew he was hurt, and it seemed there was not a thing I could do for him.
Chapter 22-Winston
NOT SURE HOW TO HANDLE the Martinez situation, I stayed in my study and took the rest of the day to figure out a suitable way to deal with it. Drinking on the job was a serious infraction. Thinking about Martinez was also a way to keep my mind off of the big fight with Marie. I knew there was always the option of letting Martinez go, but my gut wasn’t drawn to that idea. He was a hard worker and did a great job at protecting people. It didn’t sit well with me to just toss him out like the weekly trash. All people go through difficulties at times; I knew that well.
I sketched out a few different scenarios on a piece of notebook paper. There was canning him, which I already put a big ‘X’ over, then there was rehab, or outpatient treatment.
At about four o’clock the doorbell chimed.
Setting my pen down, I lifted my head and listened to see if Marie was going to answer it.
A few moments passed.
“Marie … Are you going to get that?” I hollered from the study.
No answer.
Unlocking my brakes, I wheeled out of the study and to the front door. Opening it, a young woman stood on the other side, two books in hand. She broke into a grin when our eyes met.
“Wow.”
“What?” I responded, wondering who she was and what she wanted.
“It’s an honor to finally meet you.”
“All right. Thanks. Um, what can I do for you?” Holding the door handle, I was ready to slam it in her face if things got weird.
She grinned and said, “Oh, sorry. I’m Chelsea, I’m from the Church at the Lake.”
My heart rate accelerated as images of that night, the shooting, and lying in a pool of my own blood surfaced to the forefront of my mind. The memories were wretched. Nighttime was the worst, but just the mention of that church started me shaking—even in the daytime.
“Let me stop you right there,” I said, holding up a hand. I was about to send her away when Marie finally decided to make an appearance. Touching my shoulder, she stepped into the doorway beside me.
“Hi, Chelsea!” she said, excitedly, her eyes on the books. “You didn’t …”
“I did!” As she handed over the two books, I noticed one of them was a Bible. “I saw you put them down and leave the store upset. I figured something important came up and I wanted you to have them.”
“Aw … You’re so sweet. You shouldn’t have but I am so glad you did!”
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and left the two of them and went back to my study. As I wheeled behind my desk, I thought about Jax again. He and I needed to talk before I could make an absolute decision on the fate of Martinez, so I sent him a text requesting a time to chat in person.
Chapter 23-Marie
BRINGING TWO CUPS OF HOT tea into the living room, I set them down on coasters in front of us on the coffee table next to the cream and sugar. Getting comfortable on the couch, I turned my body toward Chelsea and thanked her once again for purchasing the books and taking the time to bring them to my house. I tried to pay her back, but she refused.
“So, what caused you to run out of the store?” Chelsea asked as she brought her cup to her lips and took a sip of the steaming tea.
“Winston had a little incident at his work and I had to get down there. He hit his head and was knocked out.”
“Oh, no!” Her eyes were wide as concern shown on her face.
“He’s fine now. Not even a headache.”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, Mrs. Jones. With everything that has happened and then that today.” Chelsea’s hands came together on her lap. “Being new to the faith is hard enough, and having everything else going on that you do, I’m sure it’s difficult.”
I smiled. “It is, but God will help me, right? Also, please call me Marie.”
She nodded and reached for the Bible she’d brought. “Marie, mind if I show you a verse?”
“I’d love that.”
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105
After she read it aloud, she lifted her eyes to mine. Grabbing hold of my hands, she said, “The Lord will lead you if you allow him to do so, Marie. This verse right here got me through some of the most difficult spots in my life. My parents took me to church every Sunday growing up, but I didn’t know God. After I turned eighteen and graduated high school, I used my looks to get me whatever I wanted through my college years. I partied and did a lot of things I regret. I was empty until one day when I was walking through the courtyard on campus, this man handing out tracts stopped and talked to me about Jesus. I had known Jesus, but He was in no way in charge of my life. That man showed me this verse and told me about unspeakable joy that comes with following Christ. I realized that day and the days following that only through a closeness with the Lord can He light the way we ought to go. It’s only through Him we can have true joy in this life.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me, Chelsea.” Comfort surrounded me knowing that God would be with me no matter where I went. He’d light the way if I only leaned into Him. “So, if I pray and read my Bible a certain amount of time each day, He’ll help me?”
Shaking her head, she beamed with a smile that lit up the room. “No, it’s not do this and that will happen. It’s developing a hunger and thirst to know Him better, wanting to seek Him more and more. There’s a lot of people out there who go to church on Sunday and don’t know the goodness of the Lord. They don’t ‘taste’ it like Pastor Charlie was saying. You have to lean into Him, trust Him. I have no idea how it is to be you, but you know who does?”
I waited for her to continue.
“God knows. God is right there with you, and if you let Him, He’ll be the light to guide your steps.”
Her words were like marrow to my bones, strength to my spirit. My head turned in the direction of Winston’s study. I was so worried about him, worried about his lack of closeness with God these days. I knew now, though, from speaking with Chelsea, that my worries needed to be sidelined and God put as the first priority. It was He who would lead me in my life, He would keep my paths straight if I relied on Him.
Chapter 24-Marie
PRAYING BEFORE BED FOR AN hour, then again when I awoke, I was ready to step out in faith for whatever God had in store for me at work. When I arrived at work that morning, I was still in my car parked in the lot when my phone rang.
It was Jenelle—one of the partners.
“The other partners and I met last night and discussed your future with the firm. I won’t beat around the bush, Marie. We all believe it’s better we buy you out.”
My initial reaction was mixed. I was angry that they had come to the conclusion so suddenly. I had invested years of my life into the firm and it was more than unsettling to hear they were ready to throw me out because of my faith. It was illegal and I could easily sue them, even though I wouldn’t. After my initial anger, something else washed over me—the realization that my prayers had been answered and quickly. Loosening my furrowed brows, I said, “Really?”
“Yes. I know this upsets you, but the agreement clearly states if the majority are in favor of removing a partner for—”
I interrupted. “Hold it. I know what the partnership agreement says. You don’t need to tell me. Plus, I’m not interested in suing the firm.”
“Okay, great. We’ll call you when the final papers are ready, and you can come in to sign and remove your belongings.”
Click.
My prayer was answered quickly, but not in the way I expected it. I thought it’d take some time, maybe go down a little differently. This, on the other hand, was utterly bizarre. Peering through my windshield, I gazed up at the 28th floor and the windows I’d looked out of every day for the past ten years. It was all over. I wasn’t worried about hurrying out and finding another job, as we had plenty in savings. My job was never about the money; law was my passion.
After calling my husband and getting his voice mail, I called Serenah on my way back to Newport. I told her the news.
“Wow!” She gasped. “How cool is that? It’s an exciting time for you.” After I explained what had happened, she asked, “Hey, since you’re free now, would you be interested in helping me with something? I need an extra hand at the church. I’m sorting out donations right now.”
I was touched that she’d asked. “On my way!”
Hanging up with Serenah, I felt empowered for the future and ready to take on whatever God had in store for me.
Chapter 25-Winston
MISSING HER CALL FROM EARLIER, I called Marie back after my morning workout. I was not pleased to hear she’d lost the partnership at the firm. She called it a blessing and an answered prayer more than a dozen times during our brief conversation, only further irritating me.
“That’s not how God works, Marie. He’s not some genie you just pray to and He ‘poofs’ and changes circumstances you don’t like,” I scoffed. “If He did work that way, don’t you think I’d be walking?”
“You can feel however you’d like, Winston, but it’s not going to discourage me. I’ll be praying for you. I just got to the church to help Serenah with sorting out donations, so I’ll talk to you later.”
We hung up. Shaking Marie out of my mind, I cleared my thoughts as Jax was due at my door soon. It was eight-thirty. As I waited for him I continued to read articles online. There were tons of different case studies about people in similar predicaments as Jax. Rehab worked for some, outpatient for others. It all seemed dependent on the person and what worked best for him or her. Five minutes before nine, the doorbell finally rang.
Greeting Jax with a smile and a handshake, I led him into my study.
“Martinez, I like you and you’re an excellent bodyguard,” I said, as I wheeled around my desk and lifted myself into my office chair. His gaze glided along the walls of my study. He hadn’t ever been in my home before, and I could tell he was nervous and didn’t want to meet my gaze.
As he took a seat in front of my desk, he nodded. “Thanks for the compliment, sir. I’m really sorry about the whole thing and it won’t happen again.”
Bringing my hands together on the desk, I nodded in return. “I know it won’t happen again.”
He scooted closer to the desk, leaned in and looked as if he was quite curious by what I meant, but at the same time appeared anxious.
“I’ve been doing some thinking. You should be fired, but I want to give you one more chance.”
Clasping his hands together, Jax confirmed with a nod and he released a deep sigh. He was silent, but his body language said it all. Jax was ashamed of his behavior the other night and was disappointed with himself. When he didn’t respond, I decided to continue with my train of thought.
“So, there is rehab.”
He lifted his eyes to me, furrowing his eyebrows.
“There’s outpatient treatment, too. Just depends on what works for you.”
He glanced to his right as his lips tightened to form a thin line. “I don’t have a drinking problem. I don’t need any of that.”
“You’re going to have an unemployment problem if you don’t take me up on this offer, Martinez.”
His eyes glazed over for a whole minute, silent as he let reality settle. Adjusting in his seat, he brought a foot over his knee and his face smoothed into an unsmiling mask. “I’m fired if I don’t do it?”
I nodded slowly, confident in my decision.
He scoffed, “One mistake and that’s it, poof, I’m fired. I thought you were giving me another chance?”
Raising a hand, I said, “Don’t start, Martinez. I know for a fact you’ve had multiple instances of someone needing you in the morning and you’re too hung over to work or still too drunk to drive. Look, you have two options. Quit and don’t
get help, or stay on with WIN and get the help you need.”
“I don’t need it though, boss.”
“Then do it to appease me, Martinez. Seriously.” My words came through my teeth. “I don’t care what you think. I can’t have men working for me who have drinking problems! People’s lives are on the line.”
“Yeah, yeah, drinking problems aren’t okay. Got it. I’ll do outpatient.” Jax stood.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, since his tone hinted at forced acquiescence. He met my gaze without blinking. “Go on, speak freely,” I urged.
“I mean this with all due respect, sir.” He adjusted his footing. “That was a stupid thing that you did down at WIN yesterday. You got yourself hurt, and it could’ve been worse, but you got lucky.” Shaking his head, he continued eye contact. “The Winston I remember taught me that knowing your limits makes you the smartest person on the field. It’s a problem when you can’t accept your limits, sir. Your words.”
Bowing my head, I nodded in agreement as I replied, “You gave me something good to chew on. Thanks, Martinez. Here’s the outpatient info.” I handed him the paperwork he needed and continued. “I know you, Martinez. You’ll be able to conquer this and come out better.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Taking the paperwork, he left. As the front door latched shut, I thought about those words I had spoken to him years ago, and what they meant for me going forward in my life.
Chapter 26-Marie
STANDING OVER A PILE OF clothing atop a plastic table at the church, I sorted through clothes. Some were kids, some adults, and all were donations by the generous people in the community.
“You ready for a coffee break?” Serenah asked, approaching me from the table she had been working for the last couple hours.
“Sure.”
We walked down the church’s hallway to the kitchen. Walking in, I could smell the sweet aroma of a freshly brewed pot of coffee lingering in the air.