Don’t Forget to Remember Me

by Kahlen Aymes

  “Do that again and I’ll kill you, man! I’ll fucking kill you!”

  I flushed and shrank down in the seat a little further, hoping they wouldn’t notice me while I waited for Ryan. My heart constricted in worry that he would have to walk through them on his way to where the car was parked across the lot.

  An old man entering the hospital glanced in the group’s direction and was rewarded with a bitter threat, which was loud enough so I could hear clearly. “What are you looking at, motherfucker?! Stay out of our business or I’ll cut you!” I jumped when he pulled out a switchblade and waved it at the old man.

  I swallowed and made sure the doors to the car were locked. The gentleman put up both hands in front of him in a silent plea to be left alone as he hurried inside the double doors. It was no wonder Ryan didn’t like me waiting out here alone. I hardly ever came down here at his insistence… at least not at night. My job at Vogue was on the Upper East Side and our new apartment was in Midtown Manhattan and rarely did Ryan allow me to visit him at work.

  I glanced at my watch. Ryan would be out any minute and we’d go straight to the airport. It was ten minutes past four and I was grateful for the daylight that remained. It was cold and I had to keep the car running, leaving the defroster on to keep the windows from fogging up.

  As I waited, I let my mind drift. Jenna had planned a big affair and was holding her reception at the same hotel where Ryan and I were married. Our wedding was smaller and more intimate than the one Jenna had planned, but it was a perfect reflection of our relationship. Very close and tight; so, so intimate.

  Gah! My heart thudded within my chest at the memory of the vows and the incredible night of lovemaking that followed. It didn’t matter how much time passed, I was more and more in love with my beautiful husband every day. He was my entire world and I was looking forward to the time alone with him in Boston. His work schedule had been so frantic that our time together was precious, and there were days when we wouldn’t see each other at all beyond a kiss as we passed each other coming and going. I missed him like I hadn’t seen him in years.

  I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat as the phone rang and reached in to retrieve it.

  “Yes, Jen!” I smiled as I answered. She was so anxious.

  “When will you be here?”

  “Soon. We will be there. Relax.”

  “I’m relaxed. Aaron, on the other hand, is a basket case. You’d think he was being led to the gallows,” she mocked with a chuckle. “I think he’s more excited to see you and Ryan than he is to marry me!”

  “Nah. He’s probably just yanking your chain. You know Aaron.”

  “I’m so happy, Julia! The dresses came today. Ellie has outdone herself again.”

  I looked cautiously at the group of men, now beginning to take notice of me sitting in my car and I bristled in my seat. I was frightened but I couldn’t let it come through in my voice. “I can’t wait to see them. Jenna, were you able to get the suite for us?”

  “Yes. It’s a good thing that the Four Season’s has more than one honeymoon suite or you would have been shit out of luck!”

  Excitement raced through me as I remembered Ryan’s reaction to spending the weekend in the same suite where we’d spent our wedding night. I smiled a secret smile in retrospection, but then one of the unruly young men was making his way toward me, leaning down to look into the front window of the car. I turned my back and faced the opposite direction, hoping he’d leave me alone.

  I looked anxiously at the door and wondered if I should pull closer. One of the smaller men was nudging the leader and pointing in my direction. I bristled in my seat.

  “Thank you. I can’t wait to see you! Will you be at the hotel tonight?” I ignored the men and concentrated on my call with Jenna but my pulse quickened and I shuddered.

  “Yes. Gabe and Elyse are already here and my parents are arriving around the same time as you and Ryan.”

  “Ellie and Harris?”

  “They’re here already and Marin and Paul arrive on Saturday morning.”

  “Yes, Dad is busy with a case and can’t be away too long, but I’m happy that they will be there. I never expected to have us all together this soon.” This was going to be the first time I’d seen my parents together since their reunion at Ryan’s and my wedding.

  Ryan finally appeared behind the glass of the hospital entrance and was soon walking toward me across the parking lot. My heart stilled as he glanced in the direction of the men and nodded to them. It seemed to calm them slightly and they dropped back letting him pass without incident. I breathed a sigh of relief and realized how scared I really was when my pounding heart reminded me.

  “No shit. I’m excited to see everyone!” Jenna said breathlessly.

  “You deserve this, finally. Ryan is almost to the car, so I’ll call you when we land. Love you.”

  “You, too! Bye!”

  Ryan opened the passenger side door and slid into the black leather seat and I quickly relocked the doors. He looked tired but he leaned in toward me after he was in the car and cupped the side of my face with his hand.

  “What’s the matter? Did those guys bother you?” he asked, intently searching my face.

  I shook my head.

  “No, but they are scary looking. Do they always hang out here?”

  “No. Don’t worry. We get some rough people here, but other times they’re just idiots. Tonight, someone got pushed off of a roof while they were sparring, just playing around. They don’t understand how dangerous that kind of injury can be. The kid had a ruptured spleen and went to emergency surgery. If we didn’t get it out, he would have died of internal bleeding. Stupid fuckers.”

  His scent enveloped me and I longed to melt into his arms and feel safe, to know he was safe. I searched his face for reassurance, but my heart constricted despite myself.

  “Ryan, they look like a gang.”

  “There are gangs in New York and every city, baby. I’m just glad you work uptown.”

  My eyes searched his. The blue depths were intent despite the fatigue that lurked there.

  “It’s adorable how you worry so much, but there is no reason for it. I’m okay except I’m missing my wife so much it hurts,” he said in his most velvet voice and I pressed my face into his warm hand.

  I smiled, taking in the dark circles beneath his deep blue eyes. “Ryan, you’re so tired. I’m sorry.” I was more at ease now that he was here beside me, but the men were still watching us from a few yards away. Ryan didn’t seem to notice, his focus was completely on me.

  “I’m okay.” His thumb brushed over my bottom lip and pulled it down slightly and his gaze dropped to my mouth. “Give me some of that,” he smiled softly before his other hand closed around my forearm and he pulled me toward him and his mouth settled on mine in a gentle kiss.

  I couldn’t help it, my mouth opened and my own hands reached out to clutch at the front of his dark blue button down between the opening of his black leather jacket. He’d changed out of his scrubs for the flight and he was looking good enough to eat. He responded by increasing the pressure of both his mouth on mine and the hand holding my head. His thumb brushed back and forth along my jaw as his tongue plundered my mouth. We kissed deeply for a minute before his mouth lifted and then returned to tease my lips in a series of sucking kisses.

  “Jesus, you taste so good. Why does it feel like I never fucking see you?” he said and kissed me one more time.

  “Maybe because you never fucking see me,” I quipped in return and he groaned, his mouth reaching for mine again, but I rested my forehead against his, denying him the kiss he was seeking.

  “Baby, I could kiss you forever, but we’re going to miss our plane. Besides, those goons are still eyeing us, and they scare me.” I reached up and brushed my fingers along his jaw and then up to push the hair back off of his brow. “We should go.” I moved more fully into my seat and put the car in gear.

  “Don’t be scared. I won’t
let anything hurt you, sweetheart.”

  “The only thing that hurts me lately is the lack of time with you.”

  His mouth twisted and he frowned, pulling the seatbelt down and buckling it.

  “Um hmm, and here I thought getting married and moving in together was going to make things easier,” he said apologetically. His hand reached out and his warm fingers closed around mine, lifting my hand to his mouth to brush his lips across the inside of my wrist. His touch always set my body on fire and my heart thudded in my chest.

  “Mmm… well, I’m thankful for the time we do have together. This weekend will be hectic, but at least we’ll be together for 72 hours. I want to make sure that you get some rest tonight.”

  “Well, I want to make sure I get some lovin’ from my gorgeous wife,” he said with a devilish grin. “Lots and lots of lovin’.” He turned in his seat and looked at me seriously as I navigated my way through the city.

  “Ryan, what is it?”

  “I know this weekend is about Aaron and Jenna, but I want some time for just us, if we can manage it. I really miss your words and just being with you. Alone.”

  I knew what he meant. He was my best friend in the world and we were closer than any couple I’d ever seen. Lately, we hardly saw each other and when we did, we were so desperate for the physical connection we devoured each other. Rarely did we have time to go out and do anything together, instead we opted to closet ourselves away from the world and soak up as much love as we could in the short time we had. His eyes were sad and I desperately wanted to see him smile.

  “Oh? I remember now, it’s my words you can’t live without. Not my body, right?” I cocked my head and raised my eyebrow. It worked.

  Ryan laughed and squeezed my hand. I knew by his response that he remembered the conversation that I was referring to. “That’s right. I’ll be completely miserable making love all night if I can’t talk to you first.”

  “Yeah, right. Okay, then, I’ll make sure to throw out the new lingerie I bought for this weekend when we get to the hotel.”

  Ryan sobered, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the hand that he held. “I love you, Julia,” he said seriously. “I do want to talk to you. I want to find out what’s going on… but I’ll love that you think about me that way. You always know just what I need.”

  “Because you mean everything to me. Even if I can’t see you so much, I wouldn’t trade one second of my life with you. I love you.” I threw a glance and a small bittersweet smile at him before returning my focus back on the traffic.

  Since my accident, there were times when he’d get deep and brooding, withdrawing into himself when he remembered the way he suffered when I almost died nine months before. I was sometimes amazed by how much it still affected him. I’d learned to recognize it by the look in his deep blue eyes and the silence in which he’d cloaked himself. The pain that flitted across his perfect features from time to time ripped at my heart and I wanted to make it vanish forever. As much as we loved each other, we no longer took any of our time together for granted, having seen how precarious life could be and how much we needed each other.

  My throat tightened as I tried to speak. As usual, he could read me like a book. My emotions and my thoughts all laid bare to him.

  “I never want to go through something like that again.” The pain in his voice was still so prevalent whenever he spoke of it and I wondered if he realized that had I not been in that accident, we’d have a month old baby by now. Despite the happiness we shared, despite my memory being fully restored, he still held that pain so close to him. We both still suffered, but Ryan had endured so much more during the time when I didn’t remember the past, the baby, or what he called our mad, mad love. It still got to me; I’d been so freaking oblivious to his suffering.

  My heart thumped loudly in my chest remembering the night it all came rushing back when he had poured out his pain as I had poured out mine. Every precious moment brought us closer. It seemed impossible that anyone could love this much.

  “Babe, I know. I love you so much.” My voice trembled and my eyes welled slightly. I fought back the tears forming as we drove in silence, our hands laced together. I could feel his eyes boring into my profile so I turned my face toward him. “I have a surprise for you later,” I said softly and his eyes met mine and the corner of his mouth lifted in the crooked smile that always took my breath away.

  “In addition to the lingerie?” he asked. When I nodded, he smiled even bigger. “I have one for you as well.”

  “Really? Tell me what it is,” I said anxiously, the mood suddenly lighter.

  “Not a chance,” Ryan said shortly but with a wide grin. “If I have to suffer, so do you.”

  “Mmmm.”

  “Julia, do we have to meet up with the others tonight? I don’t want to. Not tonight.”

  “Ryan.” I shook my head at him in exasperation. “Yes. Your parents are here and we’re meeting them with Aaron and Jenna in the bar for drinks. We don’t have to stay long, but we do have to go for a bit. Aren’t you anxious to see them? It’s been six months and you’re the best man.”

  “I suppose I should be, but I just want to get you alone and wrap myself around you all night. I don’t give a damn if it’s selfish.”

  “We can get some wine. It will help you relax so you can sleep tonight. When we go back to the room, I’ll run you a bath and give you a massage. We’ll just visit with them for a little while. We’ll have plenty of time to be alone.”

  “Okay,” he said begrudgingly, his lower lip extending in a slight pout. My heart leapt at the adorable gesture, and the obvious emotions behind it. His desire to be alone together only echoed my need to have his arms around me. “But I disagree. There is never enough time to be alone with you. I feel like I haven’t touched you in forever.”

  “You’re touching me now.”

  “You know what I mean, Julia. I want to make love to you. I need to lose myself inside you.” I drew in a deep breath as his voice reverberated in several waves of electricity. Yes, I knew what he meant. I craved his touch like air. “I want you. Every second.” The tone of his voice lowered huskily.

  “It’s only been four days,” I said in an attempt to offer comfort. The fact that I was aware of how long it had been since we’d last been together was not lost on him and his hand tightened around mine.

  His schedule was so erratic that we rarely were home together at the same time and when we were, he was beat. I ‘d had to insist that he sleep.

  “Four days too long.”

  *****

  I watched Julia from a few feet away at the far end of our group. My parents had reserved four tables along one side of the room near the band. She was laughing with Ellie and Jen, their faces full of animation and their eyes full of light that was visible even in the dimly lit room. Thank God we were able to check in and take a quick shower before we’d been required to come down to socialize.

  I cringed and inwardly chastised myself. For Christ’s sake! It was my only brother’s wedding. Even if we weren’t related by blood, we were bound by life, love and experience. The least I could do was come to life long enough to celebrate.

  The girls’ tinkling laughter filtered down from the end table where they huddled. Jenna’s younger sister, Anna, her parents and two other couples along with my family, and Ellie and Harris, rounded out the party.

  I squinted in the direction of the people I didn’t recognize, trying to place them. While they were vaguely familiar, I couldn’t put names with the faces, and tonight, I was too tired to try. I should have paid more attention when we first arrived. I rubbed a hand over my face from my temples down over my chin and scratched at the twenty-four hours worth of beard growth. I hadn’t taken the time to shave after my shower and I was sorry now. I had no desire to chafe Julia’s perfect alabaster skin, but there was no way I wouldn’t be kissing all over her curves later. My fingers played along my jaw as I judged how harsh it would feel against her smooth
flesh.

  My mother’s hand traced over the muscles of my back and brought me out of my personal thoughts and back into the room around me. She was sitting on my right and my dad was on the other side of Aaron. The two men were in deep conversation, a concentrated frown on my brother’s face and one of wry amusement on my father’s.

  “Are you alright, Ryan? You look so tired.” Mom’s voice floated around me. I turned toward her slightly and covered her hand with my own, trying to reassure the worry out of her voice and her expression.

  “Sure, Mom. The hours are hellacious, but I’m fine. It’s nothing that a few hours of sleep won’t cure.” I lifted the corners of my mouth in the start of a crooked smile.

  “Yes. I remember when your father went through his residency. There were times when I barely saw him,” Mom continued.

  I groaned softly in protest. “Don’t remind me.” My eyes snapped back to the gorgeous picture of my own bride, giggling with her friends. Her voice sent little tingles through me and found me wishing all to hell that we’d have been smart enough to tell them that we couldn’t get in until the morning and snuck off to some small hotel where we could be alone all night.

  A good portion of porcelain skin on Julia’s shoulders and back was open to view by the neckline of her deep pinkish purple sweater. It did have long sleeves, but it was meant to be provocative and it was. She must have felt my gaze because her soft green eyes landed on mine followed by a half smile lifting her soft lips. It was an innocent gesture and full of love, but damn if my body didn’t tighten immediately in response. Those pouty little lips, the lower one jutting out slightly before being captured by her top teeth combined with those deep green pools would be my undoing. I was so fucking hungry for her I could barely restrain myself from hauling her up to the room. My eyes narrowed and I smirked at her. She was well aware of the effect she had on me. She knew it well, and milked it for every last drop. I loved that shit.