Kiss Me Back

by Halston, Sidney

  “You go shower first. I’ll make us some quick sandwiches, then I’ll shower while you eat.”

  “ ’Kay!” she yells. I feel a smack on my bare ass as she runs to the bathroom.

  Did she just smack my ass?

  This is definitely different. I’m completely disconcerted as I make us sandwiches. Now I know exactly how those women in my past felt about me. Because shit…I want to talk about feelings and about…more. Or at least about later. Can we have exclusive sex? I don’t want to share her. I refuse.

  Damn it. This woman is going to be a problem.

  Lola

  I’m not sure what to say except…wow. I’m practically twirling in the shower. That was by far the best sex of my life. In fact, what I had done before, that wasn’t sex. This was sex, and I want to do it over and over and over again. I can’t believe I went so crazy. I’m always very controlled but I can’t even feel embarrassed about it. Fuck it. I’m going to enjoy this for as long as I can and at least I can say I’ve had great sex in my life.

  I won’t delude myself into thinking that I’ll ever have a relationship with someone like Fox. It’s just not in the cards for me. I don’t have poor self-esteem but I’m a realist. What guy wants to put up with me? Not just because of my hearing impairment but because of the circumstances as well. I’m poor and I’m leaving. He’s rich and he’s staying. We couldn’t be more different. Our goals in life are in complete opposition. I’m leaving and there is no man or amount of sex that will ever get me to stay.

  My eyes are closed and I’m lathering my hair and smelling his manly shampoo when cold air rushes into the shower. I open my eyes to see Fox walk in with a soft, loopy smile. He kisses me, then reaches over me for the soap and begins to shower. I’ve never showered with a man before. I like it.

  I’m finding that there’s not much I don’t like about Fox.

  “So…” he says. I stop moving my hands and focus on his lips but he doesn’t continue so I tip a brow up urging him on. “Was it good?”

  “Good?”

  “The sex,” he explains. “Was it what you hoped it would be?”

  I laugh and close my eyes and continue to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. “Your insecurity is showing, Mr. Fox.” I open one eye, and his gaze narrows on me. I laugh again. “It was more than I could have hoped for. It was unbelievable. We can do it again, right?” I ask hopefully.

  “We’d better.” As he turns around to grab the shampoo, I glimpse a big tattoo on his back by his right shoulder. It’s absolutely the cutest tattoo I’ve ever seen—of a red fox that looks a little dangerous and predatory, but it has hipster glasses on, which softens the effect. It’s cute and funny but sexy and badass at the same time. It’s William Fox in a nutshell.

  “I love this!” I yelp and then school the tone of my voice. I still feel a little insecure about talking so much. It makes me feel very vulnerable and open, even more than the sex, if that makes any sense. My body may not be perfect but it’s normal. My hearing and my voice…they’re not normal and even though he hasn’t done a thing to make me feel insecure, it’s going to take me a while to let that part of me go.

  He looks over his shoulder. “My clever fox tattoo? Yeah, I like that one too. I got it on a drunken night but it was well drawn, thank God.”

  “It’s perfect for you in every way. I love it,” I murmur, running my finger around it.

  I get on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. It’s weird that I’m naked in a shower with a man, but all those wonderful endorphins are still messing with my brain and I can’t seem to feel embarrassed. I kiss his lips then his cheeks and eyes and nose until he thaws a bit.

  I can feel him laughing against my body.

  He pulls back so I can see his face. “You’re sweet when you’re naked. I like it.” He kisses my lips. “Now hurry up or we’ll be late.”

  I roll my eyes. He shouldn’t be so sweet or I’ll start to like him more than I should.

  I finish up and leave him in the shower after he tells me he left me a sandwich on the kitchen counter. Quickly, I find my bag and put on my work clothes. The uniform for Duality is different from Panic. It’s a pair of short jean shorts and a tank top, the front of which is white with the Duality logo on it while the back is black, and combat boots. Once I’m dressed, I eat the enormous ham and cheese sandwich he made me. Then I do my makeup at the kitchen table and put my hair up in a high ponytail. When I’m ready, I go to find him but he is not at all ready.

  “Fox! We’re going to be late.”

  He’s meticulously trimming his beard and he’s not even dressed yet. “I’m going as fast I can.” I cross my arms and glare at him. He’s being ridiculous—he looks great already. I didn’t even dry my hair. “You look stunning,” he says to me, which makes me smile but doesn’t stop me from pushing him to finish up.

  “So do you. Now, let’s shake a leg, buddy.”

  “One sec.” He steps back, then trims the tiniest little hair from his beard.

  I roll my eyes and get up, annoyed. So much for being sweet. I’m about to pull him out the door by the tie. I don’t want to be late for my first night at Duality. I realize, again, that we’re so different. Where I’m a no-frills, laissez-faire kind of girl, he’s a perfectionist who holds others’ opinions in high regards. This just reminds me that no matter how great the sex was, this is a sex only relationship. It would never work out in the long run anyway. Our lives are so different, and as I watch him adjust his silk suit for the third time, I am only concerned with making it to work on time.

  I’m pacing around while he’s making sure his hair is perfect and that everything is perfect and…ugh. “Oh. My. God. Hurry up!”

  “Okay. Okay. Let’s go,” he finally says. “I take it back, you’re not that sweet.” He grabs his keys and wallet, locks up, and we hurry downstairs and into his Corvette, zigzagging through Miami until we make it to the club, barely on time.

  As I’m about to walk in, he grabs my arm. “Come home with me tonight.”

  “Uh…” I look around. “Let’s talk about this later, okay?” I don’t want the entire club to know I’m sleeping with the boss. I pull away and hustle to the bar and get sucked into my first night at Duality.

  Fox

  Shit.

  Something happened between the mind-blowing sex and the drive to work. I don’t know what it was. I’m thinking she wants the hearts and flowers, even though we agreed to keep it to strictly sex. Maybe we should have talked about it. Fuck. Hopefully, we can figure it out tonight. In my bed. Because that’s where I want her. But I don’t have time to think about it because as soon as people start pouring in, I’m focused on only work.

  “Everything going smoothly?” David asks from behind the bar.

  “So far so good,” I say.

  “Great. Come have a drink with us.” He gestures for a bartender bearing a tray of champagne and glasses to follow us to a table at the far end of the club.

  At the booth I see Nick and Matt with their women, Katherine and April. Also sitting with them is a stunning woman who I recognize as David’s wife, Geo, and Iggy. They’re all laughing at something when David and I walk over.

  “Any issues?” Nick asks me.

  “Nothing so far.”

  “Good. Tomorrow we have a full house again,” Matt says. Tomorrow is another soft opening with mostly family and friends and then next week is our official opening.

  Iggy takes the bottle of champagne and opens it. “Here’s to a successful business venture!”

  “Hear hear!” Everyone cheers as Iggy pops the cork and pours everyone a flute. I stay only long enough for a sip or two because I get word that the second floor bar is overcrowding and they’re running low on vodka so I excuse myself and go help out. By the time I make it up there, it’s a
lready been taken care of by the staff but I double- and triple-check everything.

  By two in the morning, I’ve had to go up and down the stairs a hundred times putting out all sorts of minor fires.

  And I’m also keeping an eye on Lola every chance I get. This is a new environment for her, and even though I know she is more than capable, I’m still wary. I know I have no business feeling this way, but I can’t help it. The last few nights I researched sign language and practiced a few things. So far I’ve mastered one sentence: “All good?”

  I walk past her and decide, since none of the staff is looking my way, to quickly test out my new ability. I tap her shoulder and sign, “All good?”

  Without thinking she signs something back but I have no idea what it is, and then she realizes what just happened. For a moment she’s confused and looks around quickly. No one saw, relax, I mouth, which she easily reads.

  With her hand over her heart in a tender gesture, she gives me a warm smile. It’s either because I learned that one simple sign or because everything is in fact “all good.” Whatever the reason, she gives me a thumbs-up with a sappy smile before taking care of the group of women in front of her.

  When I turn around I crash right into Iggy. “You know sign language?”

  “Uh…” I’m speechless. Not something I’m accustomed to being. I can’t spill Lola’s secret. I promised her and she’d be devastated. “No,” I say, which isn’t a lie.

  “I thought I saw you signing to that bartender,” he says, looking over my shoulder. I look back and Lola is busy serving guests.

  “No. I was pointing at a drink she left on the bar,” I lie. “So, what do you think of the place so far?”

  He eyes me suspiciously for a moment, then looks around. “It’s interesting. It’ll work in Miami. People wear less at the beach.”

  “Yeah. My only worry is that people will start touching and grabbing.”

  “I know. Worries me too. But Nick and Matt tell me you’ll know how to handle it if it becomes a problem.”

  I take a deep breath. “If something happens, I’ll deal. Just don’t want the girls having to deal with that shit.”

  “I put a lot of money into this place, so I don’t want any harassment lawsuits. I also need this business to make money so you’re going to have figure it out.”

  “No pressure, right,” I joke.

  “A lot of fuckin’ pressure, buddy.” He taps the back of my shoulder and walks away leaving me feeling stressed out about making this as successful as possible.

  Lola

  The evening is chaotic but the tips are out of this world. If things go this well every night, I’ll meet my goal before the month is over. I’m smiling from ear to ear by the time the club closes, especially when I see that Fox is lingering by the entrance and I’m certain it’s because he’s waiting for me. I can’t believe he signed to me. It was the single sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I mean, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see him, but my heart melted when he did it. Which makes me forget how irritating he was earlier in his house with his crazy obsession over his appearance.

  I stick the wad of cash in my purse, then cross my purse over my torso and walk to the front doors. I notice that Fox isn’t looking at me any longer, he’s looking over my shoulder.

  I turn and see the bosses sitting at the bar, their suit jackets gone and their ties hanging loose on their shirts. There are three women sitting nearby and everyone seems to be talking at once, therefore I don’t know what is being said.

  A small squeeze on my forearm makes me turn my head back to Fox. “They’re asking us to have a toast with them.” I think he’s whispering, but I’m not sure. I also think he’s asking for permission.

  “Okay?”

  “Okay? You want to stay and have a toast with them?”

  “No. You go ahead. I’m sure they mean you.”

  He smiles and shakes his head. “No, they asked us. Well, they asked everyone who’s still here but everyone is leaving so, it’s just us left.”

  “Uh, yeah, sure,” I say. How can I say no to the four owners and the manager who I slept with just a few hours ago.

  He leads me to the bar, his hand on the small of my back, and I wonder if we look like we’re together. I don’t necessarily want people to know I hooked up with the Fox, but I don’t necessarily feel the need to keep it a secret. Hopefully the topic doesn’t come up.

  “Oh! Finally, she said yes to you!” one of the women says happily—clapping as soon as she sees us. Well there goes my plan of not addressing the Fox-Lola-hooking-up situation.

  My eyebrows furrow and I look over at Fox. “I haven’t exactly been secretive about wanting to go out with you,” he admits. And it’s true. He has been pretty relentless. I roll my eyes and smile.

  “Leave them alone, babe,” Nick quips, which automatically tells me that the woman must be Katherine, Nick’s fiancée.

  Fox is talking with the men and the women turn their attention to me. “I love a man with a beard,” Katherine says, looking dreamily at Fox.

  Nick has a badass beard similar to Fox’s, except Nick’s is inky black, like his longish black hair that he keeps tied in a man-bun.

  “Eww…” April says, screwing up her face. “Nick and Fox look mean with their beards. I prefer Matt and his smooth face.”

  “Me too,” Geo says with a big smile at her man. “Not Matt, though. I mean David. I like that I can actually see his face. All that hair? No, thank you.”

  Katherine leans in as if she’s telling us the secret to world domination. “You haven’t lived until you’ve felt a beard rub along your thighs.” Then she winks at me.

  I hold up my hands. “I wouldn’t know.”

  “That man, beard or not, is hot!” Geo says with her thick French accent. “And he’s huge. I bet he could do some creative things with all those muscles.”

  My cheeks flush.

  “Leave the poor girl alone,” April says, then adds, “but he’s really into you, you know?”

  I turn my head and watch him. He’s talking to the other men, but the way he’s sitting, with his arm over the back of my chair, leaning casually toward me, it definitely stakes a claim.

  “He’s sweet,” I say to the girls when I face them again.

  “Sweet? That’s not the word I’d use,” Katherine says.

  “He has to protect his bouncer image here. But in private he’s sweet,” I say and when they eye me skeptically, I laugh. “Okay, he’s sexy too. Sweet and sexy,” I admit to these women I barely know—but they are tipsy and funny and I feel oddly comfortable around them.

  “I wonder if he wears that suit in bed?” Geo says, which makes me laugh.

  “I hear you guys, you know?” Fox says, and Geo shrugs, unconcerned.

  “It’s almost morning, man. Take off that suit for godsakes,” Matt says to Fox.

  “Nah, I’m good,” Then he leans closer to me. “And I don’t wear this suit to bed.”

  “Good to know,” I answer back, feeling the women’s eyes on me.

  “I could be into the suit in bed,” Katherine says.

  “Babe.” Nick rolls his eyes and smirks.

  “Jesus, at least take off the tie,” Iggy adds.

  Fox rolls his eyes and loosens his tie but doesn’t take it off.

  “How long does it take you to get that beard that way?” Iggy says. “Do you use a ruler?” he teases.

  “Yes!” I sass. I know I shouldn’t but it’s so funny that someone else notices how perfect that damn beard is.

  “You’re seriously going to make fun of me?” Fox says with a smile. I look around and everyone is laughing.

  “Sorry,” I say, wrinkling my nose and smiling coyly.

  “Grab me that chair,
will ya?” Iggy says to David who grabs a chair and drags it to the other man.

  “Well, I don’t know about your stuffy suit or your tie, but my leg is fuckin’ killing me,” Iggy complains and without any warning reaches under his pant leg and pulls out a prosthetic leg, then kind of throws it on the extra chair with a big sigh of relief.

  “Dude, how many times do I have to tell you: you can’t take off your leg without warning people first,” Nick says as he looks at me and Fox. I think both of our mouths are hanging open.

  “Oh, sorry.” Iggy shrugs as he massages his stump.

  “So…” David says with a smile, “I guess it’s as good a time as any for that toast. It was a great evening. Here’s to many more.” We all grab a flute and clink our glasses and drink up, ignoring the fact that Iggy is missing a leg and I have a million questions about it.

  “And to beards rubbing on thighs,” Katherine adds with a hiccup. “And suits in bed!”

  “Jesus Christ. I think it’s time to stop drinking, babe.”

  I feel a tap on my shoulder and Fox points to Iggy, who is asking me something. I wonder how long he’s been trying to get my attention because I’m still focused on all the other things happening around us. Beards. Suits. Prosthetic legs. “How did you do tonight? Better than Panic?”

  “Yes.” I say happily.

  “Okayyyy…” He drags it out. “Not a big talker I see.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m just tired,” I add, remembering what Fox said about my one-word answers. “It was a good night. I wonder if it’s because it was mostly family and friends, though. I guess the real test’ll be next week.”

  Iggy’s looking at me, not saying anything, and I wonder if I said something wrong or if my tone was off. Suddenly, I’m feeling very self-conscious and I just want to get out of here.

  “It’s late, let’s close up and head out,” Matt suggests and the other women all nod in agreement. It’s well past four in the morning and while they were paying attention to our conversation, they’ve mostly been sleepily leaning on their men.