Heiress of Light: Magic Reborn (Reverse Harem)

by Ashlyn Allbrook

  “What’s happening, Elena?”

  “I don’t know. Something happened when I killed that man. Maybe I damned my soul.”

  “No,” he said gently as he reached a hand toward me, offering to help me up. “You were protecting yourself. But whatever you did hurt you.”

  I ignored his hand and put my own on the ground to push myself up. I was still dizzy and weak, but at least the pain in my chest was only a dull ache.

  “Let me help you, Elena.”

  “No. I won’t touch you. I won’t touch any of you. If I hurt you—” My voice broke.

  Liam’s hands gripped my waist and pulled me upright, my back to his chest.

  The pain subsided, but the thing in me craved. “It wants you, Liam,” I said through my tears. “It wants to consume you.”

  He brushed the hair from my face, then stroked my shoulder. “You would sooner die than hurt any of us. You won’t hurt us.”

  “But the thing in me might.”

  He placed a kiss on my temple. “No. You would never let it.”

  I closed my eyes and eased into him. “Keep them away from me. Please.”

  “I will. But you can’t keep me away. I’m not affected as much as the others are, Elena. I can handle this.”

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “Then let me handle it for the both of us.”

  I turned to face him. He lifted his hand to my face, and his eyes dilated. He was more affected by me than he let on. “No. I need to do this on my own.”

  “Elena . . .”

  I pressed my lips to the base of his throat, and I could feel his rapid pulse. “Your job is to make sure I don’t die on the way to the priestess,” I said, forcing a grin. “That’s all I require from you, Captain.”

  I gave him one more kiss, then broke contact, the ache in my chest returning as I walked over to my horse. I untied the reins, then climbed up on the low tree branch. I slipped my foot into the stirrup and swung my leg over.

  “Elena.” I turned my horse toward Liam, and he held out my sword, the hilt toward me. “Tonight, when we stop, I want you to practice sparring.”

  I grabbed the sheath out of my bag, then grabbed the sword and replaced it.

  “Be ready to defend yourself. Against anything. Or anyone.”

  As he walked away, I was fairly certain he meant my men.

  8

  We rode until almost sundown before Liam stopped in a field with a stream next to the edge of the woods for the night. We were camping tonight, and I realized I hadn’t brought a bedroll, but of course, my guards had.

  Tobias tried to help me down, but I waved him away, even though my legs were rubber and it took me a second to hold myself up.

  “I’ll take care of your horse,” Tobias said, reaching for my reins.

  The thing inside me had roared to life, and it begged me to go to Tobias and take from him. I moved backward, taking my horse with me. “No. I learned how to take care of my horse when I could walk under my horse’s belly. I can do it.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Tobias, please. I need you to stay back. The thing in me . . .” I walked away from the group, stopping as a wave of pain hit me. Two more days until I got answers. Until this thing inside me was resolved.

  I took my time, talking to my horse as I rubbed him down. His dark eyes looked into mine, and he dipped his head as though bowing to me.

  “Do you know something I don’t?” I teased, rubbing his neck.

  “Talking to animals?” Tobias called out from where he was tending to his horse.

  “Why not? He’s served me well.”

  Dax and Finn started a fire and boiled water to make a tea to warm us up since the temperature had dropped. I could see my breath as I walked toward them.

  We were all exhausted, which must have been why Liam didn’t ask me to spar with one of my men, not that I could have done so with my pain. While the men came up with a watch schedule, I ate the dried meat and bread Finn gave me and drank the tea to warm up.

  “Elena,” Finn said. “You need to move closer to the fire.”

  “The tea is enough,” I said, shivering. I wasn’t getting any closer to them, even if the ache in my chest begged me to.

  The looks they gave me said they didn’t believe me for a moment.

  Matthew stood and headed toward the woods. I thought he was going to relieve himself, but he came back with an armload of wood. He dug a hole in the ground and quickly got another fire started.

  Tobias set up a bedroll for me between both fires. I announced I was going to sleep, because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep myself together. I needed to get under my covers so I didn’t have to hide my pain anymore. I kicked off my boots and tucked my knife under my makeshift pillow. The blanket under me wasn’t much padding against the chilled ground, and the wind seemed to pick up, sending an icy draft through the blanket Tobias had given me. I wrapped up in my cloak and the top blanket.

  I was cold, and my chest ached. I was tired but not enough to stop my mind from wandering to the future. What did this title, the mother of magic, mean?

  My mother had sent me to see my grandmother. She had foreseen something and handpicked the men who would be my guard. What did my grandmother know?

  What did Leonardo know?

  I had to see my grandmother. Would Leonardo’s men wait for me or would they go on after they discovered I wasn’t there? Would it be safe to go see her? I suspected she—not the priestess—was the one with the answers to my questions.

  “Elena. We need to leave soon.” I heard Finn’s voice, but I didn’t feel him. He was far enough away not to disturb the sleeping thing within me. But the ache was still there, heavier than the day before.

  I pushed myself up into a sitting position, and every part of me protested. The cold had seeped into my bones, and I was slow to move. I stuffed my freezing feet into my boots, then quickly slipped my knife blade back into place. I stood and readjusted my cape, then headed toward the woods.

  “Elena?” Tobias called after me. “Are you okay?”

  I waved a hand to signify I was, even though I was anything but. Something was very wrong.

  After I did my business in the woods, I refastened my breeches, then took a moment to assess my immediate ailments, taking advantage of the fact that I was out of my guards’ hypervigilant view.

  The ache in my chest was heavy, making me feel like I was carrying fifty extra pounds. Every part of me was cold, and while I’d initially thought it was the temperature, somehow, I knew it was the thing inside me.

  It was dying.

  The priestess had warned me of this. Whatever I’d done to the bandit yesterday had hurt it. But if it died, that would be a good thing, right? I would be rid of it.

  But the priestess had said if it died, I died too. I was still trying to decide if that was a good thing too.

  I steeled myself to face my guards. I couldn’t tell them how bad this was. There was nothing they could do. My only hope was to see the priestess. I needed to hang on.

  My men were packed and ready to go when I joined them. Someone had rolled up my bedding, and they had buried the fire embers. The only concern was how I was going to get back on my horse, because there was no way I was letting them near me to help me up. I was too weak to handle the pain. Too weak to resist.

  Finn offered me a small chunk of bread and a canteen as I approached. “It’s hot tea to help you warm up.”

  I held up my hand to stop him. “Don’t get close. Staying away from me is helping the discomfort in my chest.”

  “You don’t look well, Elena. You look pale.”

  “I’m just tired. I’m not used to sleeping on the ground.” I motioned to my horse, which someone had already prepared to go. “Just put it in the bag.”

  Finn watched me, obviously not believing my explanation, but he put the bread and canteen into the bag as I’d directed. “Dax, bring me some of the dried meat. Elena needs more t
han bread.”

  I tried to straighten my back and look less ill. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine.” He turned toward Liam, who was next to his horse. “Maybe we should wait a bit and see if she feels better. Maybe make her some stew or gruel and see if it helps.”

  “No,” I said, walking toward my horse. “I need to see the priestess. That’s the only thing that will help right now.”

  Finn backed away from my horse and led his away. I grabbed the reins and led my horse over to a boulder while all five men watched me. Thankfully, I made it onto the horse’s back without falling off, then guided my horse onto the road.

  I ate a bit of the bread and drank some of tea, but I struggled to choke it down past the lump in my chest. The fast pace Liam set didn’t help my discomfort, but I was grateful for it. Every stride we made toward the priestess in Medea was hopefully one stride closer to curing this.

  By noon, we’d been traveling for four or five hours. We came to a small river, and Liam called us to a halt.

  I refused to get down. “No. I want to keep going.”

  “The horses need a rest, Elena.” He paused. “And so do we.”

  “You mean me.”

  Liam gave me a sympathetic glance. “Yes. You need to rest. Let me help you down.”

  He walked over and reached for me, but I kicked the horse into a trot and moved a good ten feet from all of them. They’d kept their distance from me all morning, which had kept the pain from returning, but the ache was becoming heavier, making it difficult to stay upright.

  “Elena,” Tobias called out. “Please.”

  “Getting off this horse isn’t going to make me feel better. I need to keep going.”

  Liam watched me for several long seconds. “Let her be. Make this short, and we’ll keep going.”

  They let the horses water, then remounted, and we continued on.

  The terrain began to change. The flat woods with occasional clearings shifted to rolling hills, and our pace slowed down considerably. The air became cooler and a light snow began to fall.

  Finn moved up next to Liam, and they exchanged a few words before Liam turned back to look at me, then glanced at the others. “Be on the lookout for somewhere to spend the night.”

  “Already?” I asked, my teeth chattering. I felt even worse than I did when we’d taken a break. “Don’t we have several more hours of daylight?”

  “The weather’s only going to get worse,” Dax said. “We need to find shelter for the night.”

  “We should have been more prepared,” Tobias said. “Elena needs warmer clothes. Gloves.”

  “We hadn’t planned on traveling through the mountains,” Dax said. “We hadn’t prepared for that possibility.”

  The look on Liam’s face told me he took full responsibility for that.

  Finn reached around and dug into his bag, then pulled out a pair of wool socks.

  “Can you catch these?” he asked me.

  I had serious doubt that I could, but I couldn’t let him near me either. I reached out my hands, and he tossed the socks so they landed in my lap. The ball started to roll down my leg, but I snatched it in time. I shoved my hands into the socks. My hands were already warmer, but the rest of me was just as cold as before. I tugged my hood lower over my face, but the wind was whipping inside my cloak and chilling me to the core.

  The cold, my poor sleep the night before, and the steady rhythm of the horse made me sleepy. I’d been fighting it all day, but the agony in my chest was too much. My eyelids were heavy. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to close them for a moment.

  The next thing I knew, I was falling. I landed on my side and stomach with a hard thud.

  My guards called out my name, and I meant to tell them I was fine, but the wind had been knocked out of me, and I couldn’t speak.

  Dax jumped off his horse and was by my side in seconds. He reached for me, then pulled back his hands, with reluctance in his eyes over trying to honor my request. “Elena, are you hurt?”

  “Only my pride,” I wheezed as I sat up, rubbing my side. I felt dizzy and swallowed my nausea.

  “What happened?” Liam asked, sounding pissed.

  “I saw her swaying on her horse,” Tobias said. “I think she fell asleep.”

  Liam cursed under his breath.

  “She’s been riding for over ten hours,” Dax said. “And she’s already weak from what happened yesterday. She denies it, but we can all see it. It’s a wonder she’s pushed on this far.”

  “We need to find something with a roof and walls. We need some kind of shelter,” Liam insisted, anxiety in his voice. “Especially since she’s unwell. She shouldn’t be outside for another night.”

  I struggled to my feet, wincing from the pain in my side and trying to stand up despite the heavy weight in my chest. “I’m fine. I’m sorry I fell asleep, but I’m awake now.”

  I started to walk toward my horse, which had wandered over to Liam.

  But Liam grabbed my horse’s reins and clutched them tight, signaling that he had no intention of turning them over. “No. We can’t risk you falling again. You could have been seriously injured, especially since we’re climbing the mountains. You’ll ride with someone.”

  I shook my head, my horror rising. “No. I can’t! You know that!”

  Tobias gave me a sympathetic look. “You need to ride with someone, Princess. None of us will allow you to seriously injure yourself.” He paused. “But I think we can make it more bearable.”

  My face burned with shame, and I looked away.

  He addressed the others. “When I helped her onto her horse at the mill, I touched her over her cape. With all her layers, the feeling had dulled quite a bit. We can wrap her in a few blankets to add more insulation.”

  I wanted to curl up and die in the middle of the road. The fact that I had little control over my impulses was bad enough. The fact that they were discussing it so matter-of-factly nearly did me in.

  Then again, I felt so ill that part of me didn’t care. I was close to Tobias and his life force called out to me, but while the thing inside me wanted to reach out to it, I couldn’t summon the energy. Which meant I couldn’t hurt them.

  I really was dying.

  “She can ride with me,” Matthew said.

  “But I . . . you . . .” I couldn’t bring myself to mention the things I’d done to him at the farmhouse and before that, the woods. How he’d asked me to plunge a knife into his chest if he tried to touch me again . . . yet he still offered. “You don’t have to do this, Matthew,” I said, trying my best to stand upright and convince them I could ride on my own.

  His gaze found mine, and his voice was solemn. “I will carry you, Princess. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  I should tell him no, but I couldn’t summon the energy to do that either. Tobias pulled a blanket out of his bag, and Dax and Finn pulled theirs out too. Tobias draped one around my shoulders and two around my front, then closed my cape around them. Then he picked me up and started carrying me toward Matthew.

  “Is that better?” he asked quietly.

  “I’m warmer and the impulse has dulled.” But was it from the padding or from my illness?

  “And the pain in your chest?”

  “A dull ache. It’s still there, but it’s manageable.” It was when I moved a few feet away from them that the pain returned. I rested my head on his chest. “Thank you.”

  “We only want to help you, Elena.” He handed me up to Matthew as though I weighed the same as a feather pillow.

  Matthew set me sideways across his lap, making sure the blankets were between us. Sure enough, the yearning was just a dull nag.

  I tried to stay awake, but I closed my eyes as soon as I leaned into his chest. I could feel sleep overtaking me, but part of me panicked. I knew I was dying. Would I drift off and walk into the afterlife? Something deep inside me resisted, but unconsciousness sucked me under.

  I woke to their worried voices.


  “Liam, she won’t wake up,” Matthew said.

  I felt myself being handed down to someone, but I couldn’t open my eyes to see who.

  Tobias. I could feel him even if I couldn’t see him. His essence burned bright and seemed to rouse the thing inside me. Some of my blankets had worked loose, and I could tell I was closer to him than I had been with Matthew.

  “She’s freezing,” Tobias said, his warm hand on my cheek.

  I moaned, the magic inside me reaching out for him.

  “Elena,” he said, his hand lightly patting my cheek. “Look at me.”

  I tried to pry my eyes open but could only squint. The sky was darker but not night, and snowflakes swirled around Tobias’s face. “Where are we?”

  “Outside a cabin. Dax and Finn are inside starting a fire. Stay awake, okay? You scared us.”

  “Keep touching me,” I said without thinking. “It’s helping the thing inside me.” And it was. I could feel it growing stronger, even if just a tiny bit. But I knew I should make him stop. It would be better for all of us to let this thing die.

  And me along with it.

  But it wasn’t fair to make this decision on my own. “Liam. I need to talk to Liam.”

  He was next to me in an instant. “I’m here, Elena. We’ll talk as soon as we get the fire going and something for you to eat.” He sounded so worried. My heart ached for him, but in a different way than the thing inside me.

  Tobias carried me inside, and Dax and Finn made quick work of getting the fire going and boiling water. Dax made a stew of the dried meat and the vegetables from my knapsack. Finn tried to get me to eat some bread while we waited on the stew, but my stomach couldn’t handle it, and I nearly threw it up.

  He knelt beside me with fear in his eyes. “What can we do for you, Princess?”

  Tears filled my eyes, and I shook my head. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine.”

  “It is the way it is meant to be.”

  My gaze lifted to Liam’s, and his eyes widened as he guessed the truth.

  “Everyone leave us,” Liam barked so suddenly the men jumped.

  I expected them to argue, but they all grabbed their cloaks and went out the front door, letting a gust of cold air in that made me shudder.