Lily Alone

by Jacqueline Wilson

  Bliss screamed as he made it sway.

  ‘Baxter, stop it. Gently!’

  ‘I’m just showing her. Look, Bliss, like this.’ He demonstrated, crawling along the branch towards her.

  ‘That’s it, Baxter. See, Bliss? Copy Baxter. Let go with one hand and move slowly along.’

  ‘I don’t know how! I can’t let go, I’ll fall,’ said Bliss.

  ‘Look, Bliss,’ Baxter bellowed.

  Bliss couldn’t look. She was sobbing helplessly, unable to move.

  ‘Could you jump down and I’ll catch you?’ I said. ‘No, wait, don’t, it’s too far. You scramble down, Baxter. Then I’ll come up and help you, Bliss, baby. It’s all right, you’re quite safe. Don’t cry. We’ll get you down in no time,’ I gabbled.

  ‘I’ll fall, I know I’ll fall,’ Bliss said.

  ‘No, you won’t. I promise you won’t fall. Just hang on a few seconds more and then I’ll come and—’

  But as I was saying the words, the branch started creaking.

  ‘It’s moving! Help me!’ Bliss screamed.

  I clawed my way up the tree, but the whole branch suddenly snapped right off. Bliss clung to it instead of trying to jump free. She landed with a crash on the bumpy earth by the tree roots.

  ‘Oh my God! Bliss, Bliss, are you all right?’ I yelled, scrambling back down the tree.

  Baxter reached her before I did. He knelt down beside her and burst into tears.

  ‘Shh, Baxter! Bliss, talk to me,’ I said, running over to them.

  ‘She can’t talk. She’s dead,’ Baxter wailed.

  ‘Dead, dead, dead,’ echoed Pixie, like a little chiming bell.

  ‘She’s not dead,’ I said, kneeling down beside Bliss.

  She was lying crookedly, her head thrown back, her arms out, one leg all twisted. Blood trickled down her forehead. Her eyes were closed. She looked dead.

  ‘Bliss, please, wake up. You can’t be dead, I won’t let you be dead. Bliss, please, please open your eyes!’

  I saw her eyelids flicker – and then very slowly, as if her lids were very heavy, she opened her eyes.

  ‘Oh thank you, thank you,’ I said, putting my arms round her head.

  I felt her shudder right through her body and then start crying.

  ‘It’s all right, Bliss. I’ve got you. We’ll make you better, don’t worry,’ I said.

  I straightened up and tried to tend her poor body. The cut on her head looked deep and scary. I needed something clean to staunch the wound but all our clothes were really dirty now. I broke off a big fern and tried to mop at it with that, Bliss wincing underneath me. I dabbed at the scratches on her arms, and then looked at her legs. One had a bloody knee but it didn’t seem too bad. It was her left leg that was terrifying. It was bent the wrong way – and when I tried very, very gently to straighten it, Bliss screamed.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to hurt you,’ I said. ‘I don’t know what to do. Your poor leg . . .’

  Bliss was grey-white, tears seeping down her face. Baxter sat down beside her, very careful not to jog her in any way, and held her hand.

  ‘Lily, her leg,’ he mumbled.

  ‘Yes, I know.’

  ‘It looks as if it’s going to fall off,’ said Baxter.

  Bliss gave a little gasp and tried to raise her head.

  ‘No, you keep still, darling. Don’t take any notice of Baxter, you know what he’s like,’ I said – though her leg really was dangling just like a doll’s.

  ‘Is bliss dead?’ Pixie asked.

  ‘No, of course not. How can she be dead, she’s got her eyes open!’ I said.

  ‘But she’s very, very hurt,’ Pixie said solemnly.

  I swallowed. ‘Yes, she’s very hurt, but she’s going to get better,’ I said, stroking Bliss’s bloody forehead. ‘Don’t worry, Bliss. I know it must hurt horribly, but if you just rest for a while then I’m sure you’ll start to feel better soon . . .’ My voice tailed away. I couldn’t bear to hear the rubbish I was speaking. I couldn’t pretend any more. It was obvious to all of us that Bliss had broken her leg, and very badly too. She also had a long seeping cut on her forehead that needed stitching.

  ‘I – I think, just to make sure, we’d better take you to a hospital, Bliss,’ I whispered.

  ‘No! No! I can’t go!’ Bliss said.

  ‘She’s frightened of hospitals,’ Baxter sniffed.

  ‘No – well, I am, but I can’t go, because we have to stay hidden,’ Bliss gasped.

  ‘I know, but you need to go to hospital now, Bliss,’ I said, shivering.

  ‘I’ll be all right. I’ll rest, like you said, Lily.’

  ‘But your leg – it must be hurting terribly.’ I could hardly bear to look at it.

  ‘It doesn’t hurt too badly,’ Bliss lied.

  ‘Bliss! You can’t move.’

  ‘Well, I’ll keep still.’

  ‘Stop being so brave, Bliss,’ Baxter shouted. ‘Why did you have to climb so high up?’

  ‘Because you told me to!’

  ‘Yes, but you don’t have to do what I say. Look what’s happened. You have to get better or it’s all my fault,’ said Baxter, still hanging onto her hands.

  ‘It’s my fault, I should have stopped you all playing stupid monkeys,’ I said, stroking Bliss’s hair.

  ‘It’s my fault, I said let’s play,’ Pixie whispered.

  ‘It’s my fault, I fell,’ said Bliss. ‘But it’s OK, I’m starting to feel a lot better now.’

  She was still grey and her head was still bleeding and her leg was smashed. I knew we didn’t have any choice. We had to get her to hospital straight away. I got Pixie’s buggy, thinking we could somehow squash Bliss into it and push her out of the park, but when Baxter and I tried to lift her, she screamed again, and then I think she fainted. Her eyes didn’t close properly. We could see an eerie slit of white beneath her eyelid.

  ‘She really does look dead now,’ Baxter sobbed.

  ‘We’ll have to get an ambulance to come for her. They’ll know how to lift her properly. We’re going to break her more if we haul her about. You two stay here with her.’

  I ran through the ferns, up the slope, towards the road. I stood by the side and started waving my arms frantically. The very first car stopped and a lady wound down her window.

  ‘What’s the matter? You know, I’m not supposed to stop here. This isn’t a silly game, is it?’

  ‘No, I swear it’s not. It’s my little sister. She’s broken her leg and she’s bleeding. Do you have a mobile? Oh please, could you call for an ambulance to come and take her to hospital?’

  She phoned straight away, and then she parked her car by the side of the road with her hazard lights flashing. She ran down the slope with me, her shoulder bag bumping against her side.

  ‘Oh my goodness, you poor little thing!’ she said, when she saw Bliss. ‘What happened?’

  ‘She was playing in the tree and she fell,’ I said.

  ‘You were playing by yourselves?’ said the lady. ‘What about your mum?’

  I was so distraught I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I just shook my head and cried. The lady knelt down beside Bliss.

  ‘Don’t worry, dear. An ambulance is coming and we’ll get you to hospital very shortly,’ she said.

  Bliss moaned, her eyelids fluttering.

  ‘Make her stop looking so funny,’ said Pixie, and started crying.

  ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry,’ I said, over and over, one arm round Pixie, one arm round Baxter.

  We all stared at Bliss, shaking, for what seemed an age – and then at last we heard the ambulance coming. The woman scrambled back towards her car to show the ambulance people the way.

  ‘What’s going to happen to us, Lily?’ Baxter asked.

  ‘I don’t know. But we have to save Bliss, don’t we?’

  ‘They won’t take her away?’ said Baxter.

  ‘I won’t let them. We’re all going to stick
together, the four of us,’ I said.

  Then the ambulance people came running, a man and a woman, and they knelt beside Bliss and asked her questions, but she still couldn’t open her eyes properly so I answered for her. Then they lifted Bliss very, very carefully onto a stretcher. I gathered up Headless and my crayons and sketchbook and angel cards and Baxter’s fork-lift truck and Pixie’s handbag and our fairy-tale book. I left the blankets and pillows and Pixie’s buggy because there wasn’t time to collect them, and they didn’t seem important now.

  ‘We can come too, with our sister?’ I said, running after the ambulance lady.

  ‘Of course you can. You all look a bit groggy. We need to check all of you,’ she said. ‘Have you been camping in the park?’

  ‘Well – sort of.’

  ‘And what about Mum or Dad?’

  I took a deep breath.

  ‘We ran away,’ I said.

  ‘Why was that, love?’

  ‘We just wanted an adventure, like in story books,’ I said.

  ‘Oh dear. Well, you’ve had an adventure all right – especially this poor little mite,’ said the ambulance lady, shaking her head at Bliss.

  ‘Is she going to be all right?’ I tugged her arm and whispered, ‘She’s not going to die, is she?’

  ‘I’m sure she’ll be right as rain in no time, though she’ll be hobbling around with that leg in plaster for a while.’

  ‘She’ll have one of those big heavy plasters?’ said Baxter. ‘I’ve always wanted one of them!’

  ‘Wait for me!’ Pixie called. ‘I’m coming in the amb-lance!’

  The lady from the car had picked her up and carried her, but now she was struggling.

  ‘I’ll take her now,’ I said, grabbing Pixie. ‘Thank you very, very, very much for helping us.’

  The ambulance man took her name and address. They wanted our names and address too, when we were all strapped into the ambulance and on our way to hospital.

  ‘I’m Mikey, and this is Bluebell, and those two are Rose and Bunny,’ said Baxter, thinking fast.

  ‘And we live at number twelve South Block,’ said Pixie, gabbling our full address, proud that she could remember it.

  ‘She’s just making that up,’ I said quickly. ‘Shut up, Bunny.’

  ‘I think you’re making things up too, sweetheart – and I understand why,’ said the ambulance lady. ‘But this isn’t a game, kids. We need to know who you really are, especially your sister here. We’ll need to check her hospital records, see.’

  ‘She’s Bliss,’ I said. ‘And that’s Baxter and Pixie and I’m Lily.’

  The ambulance lady frowned at me as if she thought I was still making it up.

  ‘They’re our real names, honest. Mum wanted them to be unusual.’

  ‘And what about Mum? What’s her name?’

  ‘Kate Green.’

  ‘And does she know you were in the park?’

  ‘No! No, we ran away,’ I said. ‘It’s all my fault. It’ll be all my fault if Bliss doesn’t get better.’

  ‘Now, now. I told you, I’m sure she’s going to be fine,’ said the ambulance lady. ‘Come here.’ She stayed by Bliss’s side but she held her arm out. I edged nearer and she put her arm round me as if I was one of the little ones.

  I let myself cry a bit then, but I had to choke all the tears away and be strong when we got to the hospital. They carried Bliss out on her stretcher and we followed, Baxter and Pixie clinging to me tightly. I thought we’d have a long wait in A & E. I’d sat there several times when Baxter had head-butted the door or stuck an acorn up his nose or cut his fingers playing with Mikey’s knife – but we were taken straight through the waiting room to a little cubicle. They laid Bliss down on the bed. Her head jerked and her eyes opened properly.

  ‘Lily?’

  ‘It’s all right, Bliss, they’re going to make you better,’ I said.

  ‘We went for a ride in a real ambulance. It was a shame you were asleep,’ said Baxter.

  ‘It really went nee-na nee-na nee-na,’ said Pixie.

  Bliss put her hand up and felt her head. Her hand came back all bloody and she started crying.

  ‘Hey, hey, don’t poke around in that cut, sweetheart,’ said a nurse.

  ‘There’s a hole in my head,’ Bliss whispered.

  ‘It’s just a nasty cut. We’ll stitch it up for you.’

  ‘Will it hurt?’

  ‘Just a little bit.’

  ‘I’ve had stitches,’ said Baxter. ‘I yelled.’

  ‘Will you stitch her leg up too?’ Pixie said.

  ‘No, we’ll put Bliss to sleep and then we’ll stretch it out and put plaster on.’

  ‘Oh, I’ve never had a plaster,’ said Baxter.

  ‘I don’t want a plaster,’ said Bliss.

  ‘You can choose the colour, darling. You tell me and I’ll tell the doctors. Would you like a lovely bright pink plaster? Or maybe purple or blue?’

  ‘She’d like blue, wouldn’t you, Bliss?’ I said.

  ‘Yes, blue,’ Bliss mumbled, closing her eyes again. She reached out her hand. ‘Will you stay with me, Lily?’

  ‘Of course,’ I said. I found Headless, and tucked him in beside her. ‘Look, here’s Headless. He’ll stay with you.’

  ‘Oh dear, he’s been in the wars too!’ said the nurse, chuckling.

  ‘You stay with us too, Lily. I don’t like hospitals,’ said Baxter, leaning on me.

  ‘Stay with me,’ said Pixie, clutching me.

  ‘I’m staying with all of you,’ I said, though I didn’t know how I was going to manage it.

  I knew they wouldn’t let me go into the operating theatre with Bliss, especially not with the other kids tagging along too. The nurse examined each of us and said we seemed fine.

  ‘No, I’ve got a bad leg,’ said Pixie, sticking it out. ‘Can I have pink plaster?’

  ‘You need a lovely hot bath and then you can have a pink leg,’ said the nurse. ‘Now, let’s get your sister mopped up first, eh?’

  She dabbed at Bliss’s bloody head very gently.

  ‘Are you stitching?’ said Bliss, and she started screaming.

  ‘Hey, hey, what are you doing to my kid?’ said someone, rushing through the curtains.

  It was Mum! Oh glory, it was our mum back at last, and now everything was going to be all right!

  It was so wonderful to see her, brown all over, her hair really blonde, looking lovely in a new bright pink T-shirt and white jeans.

  ‘Mum!’ we all shouted. She hugged Pixie and Baxter and me and then put her head down beside Bliss.

  ‘My poor baby,’ she said, cradling her. ‘Don’t you worry, Mum’s here.’

  ‘How did you know where we were, Mum?’ I whispered.

  ‘The police came knocking at my door. I was panicking anyway, wondering where you kids had got to, and then they said you’d all been taken off to hospital. My God, the shock! What were you playing at, eh?’

  ‘Don’t be cross, Mum,’ said Baxter.

  ‘I’m not cross, baby. I just want you all safe and sound back home – especially my poor little Bliss.’

  I felt so weak with relief I had to lean against the wall. Mum was back and now no one need know she’d ever gone away. Bliss would get better and we’d all go back to normal, Mum and us kids at home.

  I could tell it like that. I’m good at making things up. I could pretend it until it seemed as if it really happened that way.

  I don’t want to write the truth. There were two policeman poking their heads into our crammed-full cubicle. There was an older one with a red face and grey curly hair and a younger one with fair hair and kind brown eyes.

  ‘Come on, Kate, you’ve seen your kids. You need to come with us now,’ said the older one.

  ‘Are you completely bleeding heartless? I can’t leave them now! Look at my little Bliss. Please, I’m begging you, let me stay with her while she gets her head and leg sorted. You don’t have to stay here. I swear I’m not going t
o do a runner. Please, this is killing me,’ Mum said, tears pouring down her cheeks.

  ‘You can turn on the waterworks for all you’re worth, Kate, but I’ve been in this job too long to be affected,’ said the older one.

  ‘Haven’t you got kids? I need to stay here for their sake. Oh please, please.’

  ‘I’ll stay with her,’ said the younger one, looking at his watch. ‘I’m off duty at two anyway. I’ll bring her in myself, no worries.’

  ‘Oh, you’re an angel,’ said Mum.

  ‘No, you’re a sentimental fool. OK, you deal with her – and sort out all the social worker stuff. I’m off for my grub.’

  So the young policeman waited while they took Bliss away to fix her leg. He took a chair and sat just outside the curtain to give us a bit of privacy. Mum sat on the bed with Pixie and Baxter on her lap. I squashed up beside them, rubbing my head against Mum’s soft shiny hair and brown neck, breathing in her warm powdery smell.

  ‘My babies,’ Mum said, holding us close. She gave us all butterfly kisses, stroking our hair. ‘I love you so. You know that, don’t you?’

  ‘We love you too, Mum,’ I whispered. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t look after Bliss better.’

  ‘You did just fine, lovey. You were a bit mental going off to that park like that, but it doesn’t matter now,’ Mum said wearily.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re really here, Mum.’

  ‘I said I’d be back at the weekend, silly. I got the first flight back this morning.’

  ‘Did Gordon come too?’

  ‘No, he’s staying over there. It’s where his job is, I told you. And I don’t blame him, it’s like a little bit of heaven – and the sun! Oh my God, look at the colour of me. I’ve never been so tanned in my life.’

  ‘Do you still love him, Mum?’

  ‘Well, yes, of course I do, I’m crazy about him. Those first few days, well, it was just fantastic – but then he found a photo of you kids. I had it in the back of my purse and he asked who you were and so I thought, blow it, let’s tell him. He might be thrilled to have a ready-made family, and you’re lovely-looking kids, especially Pixie – but it freaked him out and then he went all holier-than-thou. He pretended he didn’t mind the fact that I had kids and was a bit older than he thought. He said he couldn’t stand it that I’d lied to him. Honestly, he really got on my nerves then so I said stuff too. I walked out last night – actually, stormed off, you know what I’m like – but then I felt a right idiot because I didn’t have enough cash for the flight home.’