All I Want Is You (Forever and Ever Book 1)
Page 14
“I said I was sorry…”
“I know. I forgive you, Roland. Just learn from your mistakes.”
Roland stopped crying. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, Son. Just don’t piss me off again.”
Roland laughed lightly. “If you’re bad, I can only imagine how bad Grandpa was.”
“Your grandpa is the man I respect most in this world. He was hard on my brother and I. There were times when I hated him, despised him. But he did a damn good job raising your uncle and I into fine men. And for that, I will forever be indebted to him. The day your sister was born, I promised myself I would be the same way with you—the best father I could possibly be.”
“You’re doing a good job, Dad.”
My dad was quiet for a while. “That means a lot to me, Son.”
Nothing else was said. Eventually, their footsteps were heard on the wooden staircase. Doors were shut and the house was silent once again. I didn’t realize tears were coming out of my eyes until I felt a drop on my cheek.
Chapter Seven
Cayson
I didn’t know what to do about Skye. Whenever I was around her, I was even more obsessed with her. The feelings only grew more prominent. I entertained the idea of us being together. Sometimes I imagined that she might feel the same way. I got in so deep that I hallucinated she was in love with me too.
Then I saw Zack push her up against a wall and it brought me back to reality.
This wasn’t healthy. These feelings were not normal. I just wanted them to end, to go away. All it was doing was hurting me. So I decided to put some space between us. I avoided her whenever possible. I tried not to think about her, to pretend she didn’t exist.
But then the gala came up and ruined everything.
I couldn’t get away from her when we were in an enclosed vehicle. I couldn’t run away from her at the benefit. The more I tried to push her away, the more I hurt her. She looked at me with pain, like I stabbed her in the chest. I hated it. I hated myself for making her feel that way.
So I stopped.
And now I was back to square one.
I went downstairs and placed my luggage by the door. Roland was about to pick me up.
My mom was distraught. “God, I’m going to miss my baby.” She wrapped her arms around me and embraced me, tears in her eyes. “You’re so handsome, Cayson. Just like your father.”
I hugged her back. “I’m going to miss you too, Mom.”
“Please move back here after college. I hate not seeing you every week.”
“Of course, Mom.”
She breathed a sigh of relief and pulled away. Every time I left, it was hard for her.
My dad clapped me on the shoulder. “Thanks for coming down.”
“You know I wouldn’t miss anything, Dad.”
He pulled me in for a hug. “I love you, Son. I know I drive you crazy and I appreciate you putting up with me.”
“Well, you’re my dad. I have to…”
He laughed. “I see how it is. Call me when you get back.”
“Dad, I’m a grown man.”
My mom started crying. “He’s not a little boy anymore.” My mom’s dark skin protected her from lines of age. She still looked beautiful, classy, despite the years that had passed. My friends always claimed she was a MILF, which always made me uncomfortable.
“Call me anyway,” my dad said. “It just gives me peace of mind.”
“Okay.” There was no point in arguing with him.
A car horn sounded outside.
“That’s my ride,” I said.
My mom wiped her tears away. “I’ll see you next time, honey. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.” I walked out before she could burst into tears again.
Roland rolled down the window. “Get in before they change their minds.”
I laughed then threw the bags in the truck. Then I got into the backseat next to Skye.
My parents stood outside and waved as Roland pulled away from the house. I stopped staring when they were finally out of sight. “Brutal…”
“I know,” Skye said. “I always cry when I leave my parents’ house. I just hate saying goodbye.”
“I know what you mean.”
She pulled out a deck of cards. “Want to play poker?”
“Not for money,” I said. “Because I feel like a jerk running you dry.”
“How about we play for dinner? Loser buys.”
“You’re on.”
We played a few rounds while Roland drove back to Boston. Skye was pretty good at the game. She knew when I was bluffing and when I wasn’t. But that went both ways. I could read her pretty well too.
I really wanted to push her away so I could get over her, but she was my best friend in the world. There was no one I’d rather do anything with. I’d even rather play basketball with her than any of the guys. She was the person who made me laugh until I cried. She was the only person I could cry in front of. She was everything to me.
What the fuck do I do?
Maybe I should just tell her. It would make our relationship strained and uncomfortable but she would understand why I needed my space. We would never be the same again, but I couldn’t keep going on like this. It was getting worse over time.
Skye won the winning hand. “Looks like you’re buying me dinner.”
“Damn.”
“You know what my favorite is.”
“Everyone knows what your favorite is,” Trinity said as she rolled her eyes.
“I like pizza too, so we’re good,” I said.
She put the cards back in the box when we arrived at my apartment. “Home sweet home.”
“Thanks for the lift,” I said.
“No problem. My dad paid for the gas,” Roland said.
“And the car,” I added.
“And probably the road too,” Trinity said with a laugh.
I unbuckled my safety belt then opened the door.
Skye grabbed my arm. “Dinner tomorrow?” The fear in her eyes told me she was scared I was going to ignore her again.
God, she was killing me. “How about later in the week? I have a few things to take care of.”
She released my arm. “Okay.”
I shut the door then got my bags out. When I was back in my apartment, I tried not to think about Skye. She looked so damn beautiful in that pink dress. It complimented her skin tone and hair color perfectly. She was a living fantasy. Slow dancing with her didn’t help my attraction to her. Being so close to her, touching her, was pure torture. I was going crazy.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the screen.
Whatcha doing?
It was Jasmine. I just got home.
Are you horny? Because I know I am.
She didn’t make me work for it at all. It was probably because I made her come every time. I wasn’t in the mood at all. What I really wanted was to curl up on a couch with Skye and kiss her. Just kiss her. Nothing else. I wanted to feel her smooth skin with my hand. I wanted to feel her lips with mine. I wanted the closeness, the intimacy, and the love.
Realizing that made me depressed. How was I ever supposed to get over her if I kept thinking about her all the time?
I typed a message. Come over. Maybe if I slept with Jasmine enough times, I’d get over Skye. She was sexy and beautiful. She was easy to get along with. And she was great in bed. Maybe it would make me want other women. So far, it made me feel less lonely, even though that feeling didn’t last long. As soon as I saw Skye again, I was desperate for her.
On my way.
***
The sex was good. She was spontaneous and sexy. She did things most other girls wouldn’t do. Her body had curves in the places I liked. Her legs were long and lean, and I liked the way they felt wrapped around my waist. It was a good way to release the frustration I had.
I lay in bed when we were done and stared at the ceiling. She lay beside me, her head restin
g on my bicep. One leg was woven around mine, and her hand rested on my chest. I didn’t kick her out like I used to. She’d become a friend as well as a booty call. And she understood I wasn’t emotionally available.
“How did you get so good in bed?” she whispered.
I smirked. “Practice, I guess.”
“Most guys can’t make me come, and when they do, it’s a fluke.”
“Maybe they aren’t trying to.”
“That’s true. Guys can be dicks.”
I rested one hand behind my head and sighed.
She trailed her fingers across my chest. “How was your weekend?”
“It was okay. It was nice to see my family. What did you do?”
“Worked.”
“You probably made good tips.”
“I did. Being pretty always helps.”
I smirked. “And you’re very pretty.”
She nuzzled closer to me. “How was it being around Skye?”
I sighed, knowing I’d never get away from her ghost. “I tried to ignore her most of the time, but she knew something was wrong. So I abandoned that plan.”
“How long have you felt this way about her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know…years.”
“And she’s never noticed? I find that hard to believe.”
“She’s blind, apparently.”
“And stupid.”
“Hey, don’t go there.” My voice became serious.
“Well, she is. She has you pining for her heart and she doesn’t even care.”
“In her defense, she doesn’t know how I feel. And secondly, she sees me as a brother. When you grow up together, it’s bound to happen.”
“I’m just jealous. I wish you were in love with me. I’d be the happiest girl in the world.”
That made me a little uncomfortable “You’ll find a man who adores you, Jasmine. Just don’t expect it to happen overnight.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You will anyway.”
“If you didn’t feel this way for her, would I have a chance?”
This was dangerous territory. “I made it clear I wasn’t emotionally available.”
“I know. It’s a hypothetical question.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure how I would feel toward you. I know I find you attractive and I care about you. But that’s all I feel right now.”
“Why don’t you try to get over her with me?”
“What do you think I’m doing?”
“I mean you should give me a real chance. Take me out on a date and spend time with me. Try to find an emotional connection to me. You know what they say; the best way to get over someone is to move onto someone else.”
“That isn’t fair to you, Jasmine.”
“No, it isn’t. But if you were someone else, I wouldn’t offer this. But you’re special.”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Just think about it.”
I didn’t respond.
“I should probably get going. How about another round?”
“I’m pretty tired.”
She moved under my sheets toward my waist then sealed her mouth around me. Instantly, I was hard and ready. I closed my eyes and enjoyed what she was doing to me. Then I wanted her again so I took her.
***
I avoided Skye all over again. I knew I owed her dinner but I was going to act like I forgot. I didn’t want to sit across from her at a restaurant and have a great time. I didn’t want to keep wishing she was my girlfriend. I didn’t want to feel sick every time I saw her with Zack. So I just avoided her, like a coward.
I didn’t visit her at Manhattan Grub on Wednesday night. It was a tradition I’d never take up again. When I wasn’t in class, I was studying or spending more hours in the lab. Since I was so determined not to think about Skye, I was doing even better in my classes. I committed myself to the task obsessively and didn’t think of anything else.
When I was sitting in my apartment studying, Slade walked through the front door.
“Hey. Let’s play ball.” He had a basketball in his hands.
I looked up from the coffee table. “Yes, please come in,” I said sarcastically.
He grabbed a beer out of the fridge then plopped down on the couch.
“You think you should drink alcohol before exercising?” I asked.
“It’s not like I’m eating before I swim.” He downed half of it then put it down. “How was the weekend with the family?”
“Good. My parents miss me like crazy.”
“It’s been three years.” He rolled his eyes. “They need to get over it.”
“I know…but I miss them too.”
“Cry me a river.” He spun the ball on his finger. “How’s avoiding Skye at all costs going?”
“Okay…but she cornered me on the weekend. I really had nowhere to run.”
Slade laughed. “Sometimes I wonder if she has feelings for you but she’s in denial or something.”
“Please don’t torture me.” I didn’t have the heart.
“Sorry, man.” He spun the ball on his finger again. “There’s a party at the frat house this weekend. A lot of cute babes will be there.”
“Will Skye?”
“Not that I know of. I would assume she’s spending time with that jackass boyfriend of hers.”
“Why is he a jackass?” I asked.
“Because he’s not you.”
I smirked then closed my textbooks.
“So, ball?”
“I guess.”
My bedroom door opened and Jasmine stepped out only wearing my t-shirt. “Do you mind if I take a nap?”
Slade eyed her, focusing on her legs for almost a full minute.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m going to play ball with Slade.”
“Okay.” She smiled then shut the door again.
Slade winked at me. “Nice.”
“Thanks.”
“So, is this becoming routine?”
“I guess.”
“Do you like her?”
“I like her as a friend.”
“And fuck buddy,” he added.
“She knows how I feel about Skye so I don’t feel like a jackass.”
“Wait.” He put the ball on the table. “She knows you—”
“Dude, I eat on here.”
“Oh.” He put the ball on the ground. “She knows you’re in love with Skye and she doesn’t care? At all?”
“I think she cares a little bit, but no, not really.”
He stared at me with new eyes. “Dude, you’re a god. You need to show me your moves. My girls are always like, ‘Oh my god. I love you. Don’t leave me. Let’s get married.’ And I’m like, ‘No fucking way.’”
I laughed. “You want to know my secret?”
“Please.”
“Just be honest.”
He stared at me incredulously. “If I walk up to a girl and tell her I want to fuck her brains out, not talk, and never see her again, she’s just supposed to be down with that?”
“Well, I would say it a little nicer than that.”
“But you kinda have a relationship with this girl.”
“It’s more of a friendship than anything else. It’s nice sleeping with the same person because it gets better every time you do it. The first time with someone is usually a little awkward. You don’t know what they like and they don’t know what you like.”
“Not me. The ladies love it.”
“Well, you’re just gifted, I guess.”
“Damn right.” He stood up and grabbed the ball. “Now let’s play some ball.”
***
Slade and I walked into the frat house and took a look around. The bass was pounding in our ears, and all the girls were wearing swimsuits.
“I guess it must be a beach theme,” Slade said.
“In the fall? It’s almost Thanksgiving.”
He shrugged then pulled off his shirt.
I did the same.
“This is better anyway,” he said. “Now we can tell who really has a nice body and who stuffs their bra.”
“Yeah…because I’ve always cared about that.”
“And Victoria’s Secret makes all those push-up bras so their tits look nicer than they really are. Personally, I’d like to know if a girl has real melons or cucumbers before I get down and dirty.”
Seriously, I didn’t know why he and I were friends sometimes. We were so different. “Sure…”
We headed to the keg and poured two cups of beer. I poured out the foam that floated at the top.
Slade inspected everyone in the room. “What do you prefer? Blondes or brunettes?”
“They aren’t cattle.”
“Just answer.”
“Well, the girl I’m obsessed with is a brunette.”
“But the woman you’re fucking is a blonde.”
Knowing Jasmine and I slept together regularly made me feel like an asshole. “I’m not hooking up with anyone tonight.”
“Why the hell not? Because no pussy is as good as Skye’s?”
I cringed. “Dude, she’s your cousin. And no. It’s because of Jasmine. I never said we were exclusive but maybe she thinks we are.”
“So, you’re in a relationship?”
“No,” I said quickly. “But…I don’t know. Why pick up some other girl when I have a great thing with Jasmine?”
“Because you never want to tap the same ass twice.”
“Why? I think it gets old being with someone new every time.”
He gave me a strange look. “I’ll never understand why you’re my best friend.”
“Me neither.”
He shrugged. “Whatever. I guess you can be my wingman for the night.”
A table near the wall was knocked over and a vase shattered on the ground. Two girls in pink bikinis started laughing hysterically at the mess they caused. Their hair was in their face, but it was obvious they were totally wasted.
Slade eyed them. “Easy targets.”