All I Want Is You (Forever and Ever Book 1)

by E. L. Todd

  “Skye…are you okay?”

  I hadn’t spoken once. No wonder why she was giving me that look of concern. “Sorry…I just came by to talk to Cayson. Is he here?”

  “He’s in the shower. Do you want to wait?”

  All the courage I had was gone. Jasmine was the girl in his life. She wasn’t just a fuck buddy. She obviously slept over and spent most of her time with him. It was clear she adored him, even loved him. Maybe he felt the same way for her. “No…I should I go.” I turned away.

  “Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?”

  “No,” I blurted. “I’ll just talk to him later.” I turned away from the door and headed down the hallway. The door closed when I reached the stairs.

  Once I was in the stairwell and hidden from view, I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest. Intense heat burned under my eyes then gave way to moisture. My eyes fluttered slightly and tears dripped down. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. When they reached my lips, I tasted the salt.

  I covered my face with my hands and controlled my breathing. The pain was excruciating, unbearable. I wasn’t sure what my feelings for Cayson were when I drove to his place tonight. But now I knew beyond a doubt how I felt.

  I tried to push the thoughts away. I pretended they didn’t exist for as long as possible. But now the truth was hitting me right in the face like a slab of bricks. I had nowhere to hide and nowhere to run.

  I was in love with Cayson.

  But it didn’t matter anymore. He was with someone he cared about, a girl he spent most of his time with. She meant something to him. They had a relationship. They cared about each other. My feelings were irrelevant.

  I missed my chance.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Cayson

  “Two more.” Slade stood over me with his hands under the bar, ready to catch it if I needed help.

  I bent my elbows and let the weight fall to my chest. Then I pushed the bar out again.

  “One more, dude.”

  “I can count,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Then shut up and finish it.”

  I did the last rep then let him help me stack the bar. My arms were shaking and I took a deep breath. My face was red and sweat formed at my temples.

  “You did good, man.” He patted my shoulder.

  I wiped my face with a towel. “Thanks.”

  Slade glanced over his shoulder and spotted two girls near the free weights. They were eyeing both of us, not being discreet about it. “Looks like they’re into tattoos.”

  “Or maybe into muscle.”

  “I think it’s a mixture of both. I got the blonde. You get the brunette.”

  I rolled my eyes. “For the hundredth time, I have a girlfriend.”

  “She’s not your girlfriend,” he snapped. “She’s your very clingy fuck buddy.”

  “She’s not clingy.” I sat up and rested my elbows on my knees.

  “Are you joking? Didn’t she throw a hissy fit when you were spending time with Skye because of what that fucker did to her?”

  “She was just concerned.”

  “No, she’s clingy. I hate that shit.” He rubbed his bicep while he stared at the girls. “Now you take the brunette.”

  “Slade, no.”

  “Fine. Take the blonde. I don’t give a damn.”

  “Slade.” I gave him a firm look. “I’m not available.”

  “So, let me get this straight. You’re committed to this girl but you’re in love with Skye? Is it just me or does that sound insanely fucked up?”

  “It is fucked up. But Jasmine is aware of the situation.”

  “And she knows you spent every waking hour with Skye this week? Wiping her ass and feeding her with a spoon?”

  “In so many words…”

  Slade rolled is eyes. “I’ve fucked a lot of chicks with ridiculously low self-esteem, but I have to say she is by far the worse.”

  “You haven’t fucked her.”

  He glared at me. “You know what I mean.”

  “Well, she’s a really cool girl and I hope I can get over Skye and give her what she deserves.”

  “How’s that going for you?” he said sarcastically.

  “Stop riding my ass, Slade. I know it’s a terrible situation—especially for Jasmine.”

  “This is what I don’t get…”

  I rolled my eyes. “Here we go.”

  “Skye sleeps with you every night and holds your hand like you’re her Prince Charming. Last time I checked, she and Theo weren’t related and they don’t snuggle like bunnies in winter.”

  “Well…we’re just different.”

  “No, she has to have feelings for you. Either that, or she’s just a conniving bitch that needs all your attention.”

  I gave him the death stare. “Don’t call her that.”

  “She’s my cousin. I can call her what I want. You know how many times she’s called me an asshole?”

  “But you are an asshole.”

  “And she’s being a bitch. There’s no possible way that she’s blind to your feelings. She totally knows it and she just uses you, preys on your feelings for her so she can feel better about herself. If that doesn’t make her a bitch, I don’t know what does.”

  I pointed at a fifty-pound weight plate on the ground. “You see that?”

  “Yeah. What’s your point?”

  “I’m going to smash your skull in if you don’t stop calling her that.”

  “Whatever. Fine. I’ll call her a…dragon from now on.”

  Slade said some odds things, but that was a top contender. “What?”

  “I can’t call her the B word so I’ll call her a dragon. She breathes fire and torches your heart. She’s greedy and hoards all her gold so she doesn’t have to share it with anyone. And she’s cold-blooded—like a lizard.”

  I couldn’t think of a response to that. “You shouldn’t say anything mean about her at all. She’s your family.”

  “And family tells each other the truth. And being related doesn’t automatically make you liked. You aren’t my family but you’re more of a sibling to me than my own twin. Bloodlines don’t mean jack shit.”

  I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to encourage this conversation. I knew Slade loved his cousin, but when it came to this topic, he was vicious with her. I understood he was protective of me, but sometimes he got too emotional about it.

  Slade looked at the girls again. “I can tell the blonde wouldn’t mind it if I did the slippery dolphin on her.”

  “The slippery what?”

  “Dolphin.” He nudged my side. “You know what I mean?”

  “No. I really don’t.”

  “You know, when you pull your cock out of her pussy then slip it up her ass?”

  Slade still amazed me with some of the things he said. “I still don’t understand how we’re best friends.”

  He smirked at me. “Don’t act all innocent. I know you’ve done it.”

  I was very quiet about my personal life. Not because I cared what people thought of me, but because I wanted to respect the women I’d been with. I wasn’t the type of guy to gossip or spread rumors about a girl.

  “You don’t fuck a girl in the laundry room then pretend you’ve never done the slippery dolphin.”

  I looked at the time and ignored him.

  “I can tell what kind of girl Jasmine is. And she’s not against anal.”

  “Can we stop talking about my girlfriend now?”

  “Fine. Whatever. If you really haven’t done it, you should give it a try.”

  I drank out of my water bottle and kept my mouth shut.

  “Are you ready for Thanksgiving?”

  “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’m just not looking forward to having a magical weekend with Skye. At least Jasmine will be there.”

  Slade’s eyes were about to fall out of his head. “Hold up. You’re taking Jasmine with you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “To a holida
y?”

  I nodded.

  “With your whole family?”

  “Why is this so hard for you to follow?”

  “Are you guys dropping the L word or what?”

  “No. She doesn’t have any family so I invited her.”

  “The first girl you bring to your parents is some girl you’re banging to get over Skye? Seriously, this is getting twisted.”

  “She’s coming as a friend.”

  “Your parents aren’t going to think that.”

  “Yes, they will. I’ve never lied to my father so he believes everything I say.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Kiss ass.”

  I hit his arm and pushed him off the bench.

  The two girls snickered from their corner.

  Slade glared at me. “You’re lucky I’m going to let that go.”

  “Don’t disappoint your girlfriend.”

  He came back to the bench and eyed them. “Fine. If you don’t want one, I’ll take both.”

  “Both?”

  “I’ll give them both the slippery dolphin.” He winked at me then walked to them, giving them his best moves.

  Not wanting to give one of the girls an opportunity, I went home.

  ***

  I called my dad and he answered on the third ring.

  “Hey, it’s nice to hear from you,” he said. “I feel like I’m always calling you.”

  “Because you are.”

  “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

  “I just wanted to let you know I’m bringing someone to Thanksgiving this weekend.”

  Silence ensued. My dad spoke up thirty seconds later. “You’re bringing a girl?” He couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice.

  “No. She’s just a friend. She has no family and nowhere to go this weekend so I invited her. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Of course we don’t. The more, the merrier. But I’m having a hard time believing she’s just a friend…”

  I decided to go with the truth. “I’m sleeping with her but it’s nothing serious.”

  “That sounds complicated.”

  “It’s not. She’s okay with the arrangement but she’s my friend and I do care about her. I don’t want her to be alone on Thanksgiving.”

  “Is there a reason why she doesn’t mean more to you?”

  I wanted to tell him but he was Skye’s mom’s best friend. It was too risky. “I just don’t feel anything for her.”

  “Maybe you will…”

  “I doubt it,” I said honestly. “I really don’t want you guys to read into this. The last thing I want is for Mom to treat her like a daughter when you aren’t going to see her again down the road. Don’t get attached to her. She isn’t the woman I’m going to marry.”

  “Wow…that’s harsh,” he said with a laugh.

  “I just want you to understand what this relationship really is. So, do you understand?”

  My dad sighed. “Okay. Thanks for telling me.”

  “And tell Mom.”

  “I’ll give her a…nicer version of what you told me. I don’t think she’d be proud of you for sleeping around like Slade.”

  “It’s not like that. And frankly, what I do in my personal life is none of your business. I only told you so you would be prepared.”

  “Okay. Your mother has been waiting for you to bring home someone special…I guess she’ll have to wait a little longer.”

  Or a lot longer. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Alright, Son. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Dad.” I ended the call then sighed, hoping my dad took me seriously.

  ***

  Roland pulled up to the curb then rolled down the window. “Throw your shit in the back and let’s go.”

  “Hello to you too.” I grabbed my bags and threw them in the back. Then I went inside and retrieved Jasmine’s.

  Roland cocked an eyebrow. “Dude, how much crap did you pack?”

  “Jasmine is coming.”

  “Oh.” He scratched his forehead. “Thanks for the heads up.”

  Jasmine came out with her bag over her shoulder. I could tell she was nervous.

  “You’ll have a great time. I promise.”

  She relaxed. “Okay.”

  I opened the back door and let her get inside. Then I walked back around and took the other seat.

  Skye was sitting in the passenger seat but she didn’t look at me. She didn’t say hi to me.

  “Hey, Skye. Are you feeling better?”

  She still didn’t turn around. “Yeah…”

  Roland eyed her. “Why are you in such a bad mood all of a sudden?”

  “I’m not,” she argued. She looked out the window, ignoring her brother.

  Roland turned in his seat and looked at me. “Does everyone know you’re bringing her?”

  “I called my parents yesterday,” I said.

  “Okay.” He turned around and put the car in gear. “But like I said, some notice would have been nice.”

  “Just drive,” I said irritably.

  “Am I intruding?” Jasmine asked.

  “No,” I said immediately. “Roland is just being a dick.”

  Roland looked at me in the rearview mirror. “You want to walk?”

  “You want me to slap you upside the head while you’re driving?”

  “You want me to crash?” Roland snapped.

  “Just drive.” Skye’s voice came out quiet. “And fast.”

  What was her problem? The last time I saw her, she was cheerful and upbeat. She slept with me in her bed and cuddled with me. Now she was back to being indifferent. Her mood swings were starting to annoy me.

  We drove in silence on the freeway, watching the snow on the road. Jasmine reached for my hand and held it, rubbing her thumb across my knuckles. The touch reminded me of the way I held Skye’s hand, and for that, I felt guilty.

  Skye touched the radio and turned up the music, drowning out all other sound in the car. Roland eyed her from the driver’s seat but didn’t comment on it. Then he kept his eyes on the road, driving carefully over the frosty streets.

  Normally, we would play a game on the drive. Sometimes we would play cards and sometimes we would play a license plate game. The time spent traveling usually sped by because we had so much fun. But now the car was full of hostility and awkwardness. Was this just because I brought Jasmine? I was certain everyone liked her. No one ever had a problem with her when I brought her around.

  Jasmine pressed her lips to my ear. “Is it always tense like this?”

  “No…something is off.”

  “Is it me?” she asked fearfully.

  “No.” I pressed my lips to hers and gave her a gentle kiss. When I pulled away, I spotted Skye looking at us in the rearview mirror. Her gaze flickered away like she hadn’t been staring at us. This trip was getting weirder…

  Two hours later, we finally arrived at my house in Connecticut. The lawn was covered in snow and so was our apple tree in the front lawn. Smoke rose from the chimney near the back of the house. Jasmine eyed it with trepidation.

  “Thanks for the ride,” I said to Roland.

  “No problem. You need help with the bags?” he asked.

  “No. I got it.” I looked at Skye but she was staring out the window, ignoring me. I got out then popped the trunk. Once I pulled everything out, I turned to Jasmine. “Stay here, please.”

  “Okay.” She stood by the bags.

  I walked to the passenger window then tapped on the glass.

  Skye tried not to look at me as she rolled down the window.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  She didn’t sound fine. “Why are you lying to me?”

  Her cheeks reddened slightly. “I said I was fine. Now go.”

  Her hostility wasn’t appreciated. “Do you have a problem with Jasmine?”

  “No…I guess I’m just surprised that you’re bringing her to Thanksgiving.”

&n
bsp; “Why?”

  She pressed her lips together and said nothing.

  Skye had never acted this way before. “It was common knowledge that I hated Zack—we all did—but we put up with him because you wanted us to. You could at least try to make Jasmine feel welcome. This time of year isn’t exactly easy for her.” It was the first time I snapped at Skye like that. I guess I was a little resentful that I skipped class two days in a row just to take care of her. That I gave her every single piece of me and she didn’t care. She made me suffer more than any man ever should and she didn’t blink an eye over it.

  I grabbed our bags then carried them to the front door, not looking back.

  “What did she say?” Jasmine asked.

  “She’s just not feeling well,” I lied.

  “Oh.”

  We got to the front door and I rang the bell.

  The door burst open and my German Sheppard practically tackled me, almost knocking me over.

  “Whoa, boy.” I laughed then scratched him behind the ears.

  His tongue hung out while he pawed my legs.

  Jasmine petted his head. “What’s his name?”

  “Pop-Eye.”

  “The sailor man?” she asked with a laugh.

  I shrugged. “My sister and I named him when we were little.”

  She smiled at my dog. “It’s nice to meet you, Pop-Eye.”

  Pop-Eye barked then put all his paws on the ground.

  My dad came out then gripped my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Me too.”

  He hugged me tightly, practically breaking my back and then pulled away. Then he looked at Jasmine. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Cortland, Cayson’s father.”

  She shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jasmine.”

  “Very pretty name.” He dropped his hand and stepped aside.

  Teary-eyed like usual, my mom embraced me hard. She was a foot shorter than me so her head always moved to my chest. “You’re so handsome, honey.”

  “Thanks to you.”

  She pulled away and smiled at me. “Actually, you can thank your father for that.”