“So, as you all know, we have two open spots on varsity this year. I would like to welcome the following girls to the team: Sara Myers.”
My gut tightened as Sara screamed and jumped to her feet, and the crowd burst out in cheers. I was happy for her. I really was, but I wanted it so badly as well.
“And the second player is…” She paused to confer with Coach Merrill, and I saw Coach Merrill’s eyes go to me.
I sat up, my heart starting to race. It was me. They’d picked me.
Coach Young looked up from her notes. “The second player is Kathleen Hoffman.”
Kathleen shrieked and the place cheered, and I stared numbly at the grass as my insides shriveled up. I hadn’t made it.
Beth touched my arm, but I couldn’t look at her.
Then Sara sat back down and leaned toward me. “Herman Swear, Trisha. My spot is yours.”
But I shook my head and looked at her. “I don’t want your spot. You earned it. Getting a spot that way, it would be like cheating.”
She frowned. “You’re sure?”
I nodded, and saw the relief in her eyes, and I knew then that she really would have given up her spot.
But I couldn’t take it. Not that way.
A varsity girl grabbed Sara’s arm and congratulated her, and I clenched my fists. All I wanted to do was leave.
One of the coaches blew the whistle again, over the screams of all the girls. It took three more tries before people quieted down enough to hear what Coach Young was saying. I stared at the ground and wished this was over, barely listening to the yammering of the coach who was not going to be my coach. “Due to the talent of the JV squad, we decided to add a third roster spot. Trisha Perkins, welcome to varsity.”
What? I jerked my head up as Beth shrieked next to me. Sara yelled and tackled me in a huge hug that knocked me onto my back. I grunted as I fell over, disbelief making me numb. “We both made it,” Sara shouted. “You did it!”
“Oh, my God!” Beth dove on top of us, hugging us both. “I’m going to miss you guys so much! You’re so awesome!”
Twisting to the side so I could see past Sara’s embrace, I looked up at Coach Merrill, and she gave me the thumbs-up, and that’s when it sank in. I’d made varsity.
I’d made varsity.
I jumped to my feet, screaming. “I made it! I made it!”
My friends screamed back and hugged me, and we all yelled and danced. And then my mom came over and we all hugged her, and then we called my dad, and I could tell he was happy, and I realized Graham had been so right about him—
Graham.
After I hung up with my dad, I held the phone in my hand. My mom was talking to Coach Young to find out the hours of practice, and when games were. I watched Sara get a hug from Kirk, and I envied Beth as she and Ross bent their heads together in deep conversation.
Graham might not have come today, and I might not be talking to him, but he was part of the reason I’d made the team. He deserved to know. I was pretty sure he’d be psyched.
So I dialed his number from memory, hoping he would answer the phone, at the same time I hoped he wouldn’t.
He didn’t.
It went to voice mail, and I smiled at the sound of his voice. He still made me feel good. “Graham, this is Trisha. I just wanted to let you know…”
“Trisha!” Sara was suddenly next to me. “We’re going to Pop’s to celebrate. You’re coming, right?”
I braced against my instinct to refuse, and I nodded. “Of course I am. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Cool.” She kissed my cheek, then ran back to Kirk and Beth and Ross. “She’s coming.”
“So, anyway, Graham,” I continued, “tryouts are over and I made varsity.” I felt a smile break over my face. “Did you hear me? I made varsity!” I shouted the last bit, still too excited to contain myself. “And it was partly because of our practices, so thanks. Gotta go!” Then I shut the phone, gave it to my mom, and ran after my friends into the gym.
Who cared if Graham had blown me off? I’d proved I could do it on my own and I wasn’t going to let him ruin my celebration. I didn’t need him. I was a varsity soccer player now!
“Here’s to Sara and Trisha, varsity soccer players.” Beth raised her root beer. “Yay!”
We all toasted by tapping our red plastic cups against one another’s. I grinned at my friends, not even caring that I was there with two couples. I’d made varsity! Soccer was what mattered. Not guys! Not dating. And certainly not Graham.
Kirk had his arm over Sara’s shoulder, and even though Ross and Beth weren’t near to that stage, they were sitting on the same side of the booth, almost touching shoulders, so they were on their way.
The cashier announced our number for our pizza. Kirk jumped up. “My treat tonight. I’ll get it.”
“I’ll help.” Ross slid out of the booth, and the guys headed up to the counter for our meal.
They weren’t dating me, but if they wanted to buy my celebratory dinner, I wasn’t going to stop them. I grinned at Beth and Sara. “This is the greatest night. I never thought I had a chance, not after that horrible practice with varsity a couple of weeks ago.”
Sara cocked her head. “Last night when we were drilling, I couldn’t believe how much better you’d gotten. That practice time with Graham really helped, huh?”
I shrugged and suddenly felt deflated. “Sure.”
She studied me. “What happened with him, anyway? All of a sudden, it’s like he’s disappeared off the planet.”
Beth moved her drink out of the way so she could move closer to me. “Yeah. What happened?”
I fiddled with my napkin, shredding it into little pieces. “He’s a dork.” I shrugged. “I decided to blow him off. No biggie.”
Beth cocked her head. “Why is he a dork?”
“Because he thinks he can kiss me whenever he wants and have it not mean anything.”
Two sets of eyebrows went up and their jaws dropped. “He kissed you?”
“Yeah.”
“On the lips?” Sara asked, her eyes glittering. “Was it nice?”
“Yeah, on the lips.” I felt my cheeks get hot. “And yeah, really nice.”
“So, what’s the problem?” Sara sounded shocked. “Why did you blow him off? You like him, he kisses you and it’s great, and you ditch him? Why?”
I realized my napkin was fully shredded, so I pulled the dispenser toward me and tugged another one free and started working on that one. “He did it to show me that we were just friends, and—”
Sara shook her head. “No, no, you have got to start from the beginning.”
I looked into the faces of my friends, realized how much I’d missed having them to talk to, and suddenly the whole story spilled out. The whole thing.
When I finished, they were both smirking.
I scowled at them. “What’s so funny? He blew me away with the best kiss in the world, and then ruined it by saying it meant nothing. How is that funny?” I saw Kirk and Ross finish paying for the pizzas and start to head back to the table. “Never mind. We’ll talk about it later.”
Sara chuckled. “It’s funny because you and Graham are both such idiots.”
“Me? How am I an idiot?”
The boys arrived with the pizza and I leaned back in my seat and gave Beth and Sara the “I don’t want to talk about it in front of them” look.
Sara nodded, then looked up at Kirk as he slid in next to her. “So, if a guy kissed a girl on the lips, like a really good kiss, would you believe him if he said he did it to prove he didn’t like her?”
“Sara!” I kicked her under the table, missed, and slammed my toe into the leg, sending pain shooting up my foot.
Kirk snorted. “No way. If he claimed that’s why he kissed her, he’s lying. It’s just an excuse to cover up the real reason he kissed her.”
“Sara, I swear I will kill you if you don’t shut up.”
Kirk looked at me as he tugged a slice of pizza f
ree. “Why? Did Graham feed you that line after he kissed you or something?”
I balled up the napkin and hurled it at him. He didn’t even flinch when it bounced off his forehead. “Shut up,” I growled.
Kirk grinned and Sara gave me a smug look. “He kissed you because he wanted to, then had to make up a reason afterward,” Sara said.
“No way.” I gave up trying to get them to abandon the conversation. “Afterward, I hinted that I liked the kiss and he totally panicked! If he liked me, he wouldn’t have panicked when he thought I liked him.”
“Not necessarily,” Ross said.
We all looked at him in surprise. I didn’t realize the guy actually spoke in public.
He shrugged. “He might have panicked because he liked you.”
Beth nodded. “Totally! I mean, you both were totally anti-dating, right? And then you start to like him and you panic. And he starts to like you but figures it’s okay because you don’t like him, then he realizes you like him and he isn’t prepared for that. So he panics and makes up that stupid line about kissing you to prove he doesn’t like you.”
“That makes no sense.” I resumed my napkin shredding with even more force.
“Guys make no sense,” Sara agreed. She beamed at Kirk. “Even you.”
He grinned back. “Girls make even less sense.”
“No way. It’s all boys.”
I rolled my eyes as the table descended into a totally annoying and cute argument between couples about which gender made less sense. I grabbed a paper plate and pulled two slices of Meat Lover’s Deluxe onto my plate, letting it wash thoughts of Graham out of my head.
He was history and I was moving on.
I picked up my pizza and blew on the end to cool it off before I took a bite, almost chuckling when I thought of how I’d spilled pizza onto Graham’s shoe. I tested the cheese with my finger to make sure it wasn’t going to burn the roof of my mouth off, then took a bite.
A boot landed with a thunk in front of me, right on the edge of the table. “Need this?”
I looked up to see Graham standing there, his foot up on the table, grinning at me. I was vaguely aware of the rest of the table falling silent. I swallowed my bite. “No, I’m good. I learned my lesson.”
“You sure?”
After a second, I took a pepperoni off my slice and set it on his toe. “Thanks. I was looking for a place to stash that.”
He grinned, took the pepperoni, and popped it in his mouth. “So, I got your message. Congratulations on varsity. That’s awesome.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks. I was totally psyched.”
He nodded. “I knew you could do it.”
“Yeah, well, I had my doubts, but it worked out.” I shrugged, suddenly not quite sure what to say. “So, um, how have you been?”
His gaze flicked to the rest of the table, all of whom were listening intently, then back to me. “Okay. You?”
I refused to think about how cute he looked in his oversize plaid shirt hanging out of his jeans, with the cuffs rolled up, or how much I missed being with him. So I put on a big, fake grin. “I just made varsity, so I’m awesome.”
“Right.” He sort of shifted his weight and shoved his hands in his pockets, moving his gaze to the gang again. “So, um, it looks like you’re busy, so I’ll just hit the road.” He hesitated and looked right at me.
What? What was that look for? “Okay, thanks for stopping by.”
He nodded a greeting at the rest of the table, then started to turn away, then turned back. “Congratulations again, Trisha. I’m really psyched for you.”
Then, before I could answer, he turned around and walked out.
The door had just shut behind him when Sara whacked me on the side of the head with my stack of napkins. “Idiot! Why are you still sitting here?”
I batted the napkins away. “What are you talking about?”
“Graham!” She whacked me again. “He came here tonight looking for you, and you totally let him go!”
“Hey!” I ducked as the napkin assault came back for a third try. “How would he know I was here? I’m sure he just ran into me.”
“Weren’t you on the phone with him when I came up and told you we were going to Pop’s?” Sara didn’t wait for my answer. She kicked me under the table. “He’s getting away! Go after him!”
“So he can reject me again?” I jerked my throbbing shin out of her reach, then sat back and folded my arms. “Forget it.”
“Reject you? He came here for you,” Beth said. She looked at Kirk. “Didn’t he?”
“Looks that way to me,” Kirk said. “But you didn’t invite him to hang with us, and you said you were excellent even though he wasn’t around. If I were him, I’d take off too.”
“But…”
Beth grabbed the napkins from Sara and whacked me on the head. “Go after him!”
“But…”
Ross nodded. “I think they’re right. If I liked a girl, and if she gave me your attitude, I’d leave too.”
Beth smiled at him. “I would never have given you the reaction Trish gave Graham.”
He grinned back. “That’s why I’m sitting here.”
I stared at them, the two shyest people on the planet. They’d actually, somehow, figured out that they liked each other. Were they right? Should I go? Was there some subliminal boy/girl dating language that had just totally gone over my head?
They all turned and looked at me, then shouted in unison, “Go!”
“I’m going!” My heart suddenly racing, I slipped out of the booth, sprinted across the restaurant, ducking around kids, and flew out into the street. No Graham.
I looked both ways, looked down the street.
No Graham.
Crud! I’d missed him!
Then I thought of him, and I knew where he was.
Biting my lip in nervous anticipation, I started walking down the street toward the ice-cream shop, then I broke into a jog, and by the time I reached it, I was in a dead sprint. I skidded to a stop out front. The place was packed with people, and our bench was taken by a mom and her three kids.
He had to be here. I knew he had to be.
I hauled open the door, then jumped back in surprise as Graham nearly fell into me, a massive chocolate-dipped waffle cone in his hand. “Graham!” I jumped back as the ice cream flew out of his cone and onto my shirt. The top scoop landed with a thud and I caught it in my palm as it slid down my shirt.
I lifted my hand up, chocolate ice cream dripping from between my fingers. “How did you know I wanted a bite? You’re so nice.” I took a slurpy mouthful, and was rewarded with a half smile from him.
He held out his cone without a word, and I dumped the ice cream back into it, then started licking the ice cream off my hand.
He tossed me a napkin. “Aren’t you missing out on your celebration?” He started walking down the street.
My friends were right. He was miffed that I hadn’t invited him to join us. “Yeah, but…” Could I really do this? Could I really tell him I liked him?
“But what?” He didn’t look at me, but I heard the expectant tone in his voice.
So I said it. “I just thought it would be appropriate to celebrate with you, since you helped me get there.”
He slanted a glance at me. “Really?”
“Really.” I took a deep breath, then chickened out. I just couldn’t take that look on his face again, the one where he acted like I had rabies or something.
We walked in silence for a few minutes, and I realized we were heading in the direction of my house. He handed me his cone without a word, and I took a bite. “Thanks.”
He nodded.
And still we said nothing.
So…what now?
He stopped suddenly and turned toward me. “Did you like it when I kissed you?”
I blinked. “Um…” What was the right answer? What was he looking for?
He scowled and spun away. “Never mind,” he mu
ttered. “Forget I asked.”
“No!” I ran after him, grabbed his arm, and made him stop. “Yes, I liked it. I liked it a lot. That’s why I couldn’t take hanging out with you, because that’s all I could think about whenever I saw you, but you weren’t thinking about it at all, and I felt so awkward and—”
“Wrong.”
I frowned. “What?”
“You’re wrong.” He was looking at me intently, his eyes dark and intense in the shadows from the streetlight. “I was thinking about it. All the time.”
Suddenly, I had trouble swallowing. “You were?”
He nodded. “See, the thing is, I liked it too.”
I felt like someone had just dropped a brick on my head. “You…did?”
“Took me a while to figure it out, though. What I thought. What you thought.” He held out his cone. “Here.”
Ice cream? I didn’t want ice cream right now! But I took it when he practically shoved it in my hand.
Then I forgot about the ice cream when he put his hands on either side of my face and leaned toward me, his gaze intent on mine. His hands were warm, and he gently rubbed his thumbs against my cheeks, like he was waiting to see if I was going to tell him to back off. When I didn’t, he got this little smile on his face, and then he bent down and kissed me, and it was even better than before. Softer, slower, and perfect, making little chills rush down my arms. He tasted like chocolate, like warm, melted chocolate.
He broke the kiss and pulled back slightly. “So, that was a test.”
I blinked, trying to remember my name and how to breathe. “What?”
“I had to see if my theory still stood. You know, that a guy and a girl can kiss on the lips and still be just friends.”
“What?” I stepped back, clutching his ice cream. “We’re back to that again? Are you kidding?”
He took my hand before I could get out of reach. “And my conclusion is that maybe other people can kiss and have it mean nothing, but we can’t.”
I stopped trying to get away. “What are you saying?” I had to know for sure.
“I’m saying…” He tugged gently on my hand and I let him pull me closer. “I’m saying that I like you. Like, like.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you kinda freaked that day on the soccer field.”
The Boyfriend Game Page 10