by Gann, Myles
“Caleb. I trust I find you in good health,” Caleb smiled, “but I trusted a lot of things would happen that didn’t. I know you’re healthy and watching this with more than vague curiosity, and I owe you the trust you always gave me. I’ve never lied to you Caleb, but you never asked for the truth. We went along with charisma and drama being our leads until you’re now how you were when you left my office a few hours ago: unconformably set in losing yourself in the darkest cave you can find. I packed all of this for you because you used to know a way out of the chasm, and I have to believe you still do. If…if not you, then who? No, no I won’t sit back any longer and let fate drive the world into another gorge. You’re at the wheel now, Caleb, and you simply must be the one to steer. I’ve left little pointers and gifts in your things; just a contribution a man who studied everything can make to the man that has only ever studied one thing.” The doctor wiped at his eyes. “You are a man now, aren’t you? My God, I’ve just noticed it. You’re a man…but that’s not enough. It’s not enough that your mother and I would be so proud if we could see you save everything. You can’t be a hero. You’ve got to find something more. I’ve done what a man can; now go find what you can do.”
Caleb stared at the black screen for a few minutes, a mull mixing with contemplative remorse. ‘Your mother and I…more than a man….’
‘Gibberish of a posthumous fool.’
‘No, he was never like that. He was objective and hated feeding heresay. Your mother and I….’
‘That is odd wording.’
‘It’s odd in one too many ways. I’ve got to read the rest of that journal.’
A heavy knock resounded at the door. “Hey, buddy, you fall asleep in there?” Caleb opened the door perturbedly. “Oh, sorry. Some guys come in here just to sleep in a warm place and I didn’t see a car in the lot. You done?”
“Yeah, give me a second to clean up.”
The guy turned without a look. ‘A phrase commonly uttered when there’s nothing but filth about.’
Caleb didn’t smile as he took the DVD and walked into the hall, noticing faint quadrilles of light revealing the nastily-greened floor and walls. His hand shaded his eyes as the door swung open, the horizon losing its grip on the avenging shiner, and he felt a light touch on his shoulder. “Your ride ain’t out here, man. What are you pulling?”
“Nothing on you.” He kept walking as the girls lounged and let puffs of soul escape from their lips over and over again. Caleb walked behind the shadow of a low bathroom before quickly taking his power from its sheath again. The run home was longer again, the video replayed at multis infinitum. Daylight was a separate entity from earth by time Caleb’s feet gently touched into his cushioned apartment, his power pulsing quickly and his eyes feeling a sting. He rubbed at them while picking up the tiny book. ‘Which date would tell me the most?’
‘Logic leaves you completely at times. Nine months before your birthday, perhaps?’
‘Bite me I’m a little tired.’
‘Only one way to fix that.’
‘By ignoring it.’
‘You’ve never been good at ignoring things.’
‘I’m worse at being responsible for people’s deaths.’
His mind acquired the day and his mouth lazily read aloud. “July twelve…hm, hm, hm, nope.” He flipped the page, his skimming continuing for a month’s time. “August twenty-sixth: Going to see Audrey tonight. What else is worth writing?” Caleb felt his gut tighten slightly as he flipped. “August twenty-seventh. I had a perfect night. I can’t imagine how many pages have heard similar claims of grasping an idea of the perfect life, but this one will never be topped. I know it can’t be. We went to the movies—the low point—then I laid her under the stars and we talked. It was so quiet, so…still it felt like we were conducting the world with our traces of stellar bodies. We made love, so much love, under the world and above the earth. It was a breathless night.”
Caleb sat against the wall. ‘Am I really surprised?’
‘Read more before you make illusionary conclusions.’
Another entry came along three months later. “November twenty-ninth. She’s with him completely now. I made it an easy choice. He sat back and let her come to him, and I just overextended until I got hurt. She’s keeping the baby though, that’s my consolation in all this.” ‘Proof enough?’
His power remained silent.
‘This explains a lot of things.’
‘And leaves a lot more unexplained.’
‘Very true….’
‘You don’t seem overly flabbergasted by this.’
‘I’m not.’
‘Why not?’
‘Just not. It wouldn’t change much between us.’
‘It does change your mother and “father” drastically.’
‘It makes her a liar, and him pointless. Just a guy that shared vague characteristics with me.’
Caleb found his way to the bathroom, barely feeling the incessant pellets of water or the freshness of new clothes. By time he emerged, the sun had shaved his face from his chin to the crown of his brown, curly hair. He stood, his mind moving him reflexively towards the window while his power bridged the necessary actions together to secure a safe exit. ‘What futility are we taking part in today?’
‘Trying to get you to shut up.’
‘Ah, witty again.’
Caleb retook his body and averted down the sidewalk and around the corner. The streets were busy relative to their need for rush; the crowds moved together in schools of pumping legs and clicking heels with heads chirping incessantly as Caleb stepped up to the door of the coffee shop. He let his shoulder fall against the door and recoiled from the thud of a secure lock. The tiny clock hanging on the door rocked from the force, revealing that the old couple was on their lunch break. ‘It’s lunch time already?’
‘According to the sun, yes.’
He stepped down the stairs—
“Caleb!”
He whipped around without cognitively recognizing the voice, but recognized the name attached to the face smiling brightly at him. ‘That’s how she knows.’
He skipped across the street. “Alice…a karate studio?”
She looked up into his eyes squarely. “Yep I’m an instructor for little kids so I don’t have as much anxiety, like for instance how I’m feeling now which is really anxious and excited and happy and glad and—”
“I’ll save you from saying something too bad. What brought all this on?”
“Oh, I’ve been here for a long time, and into karate even longer. I don’t know why it just feels good to move fast and not think for a while.”
“Heh, I wish I could get out of my head sometimes too. So…that’s why you asked about the coffee shop. Sneaky of you to not tell me.”
“Hey, you’re the one that said I keep secrets.” She smiled sharply and put her hands behind her back. “Secret’s out now though I guess. Wanna come in?”
“I don’t want to interrupt any lessons.”
“You won’t they’re on lunch. C’mon.” She gently pulled on his arm.
The inside floor felt padded beneath his feet. ‘Smell of piney sweat in the air. Tiny bleachers shows this is a small—whoa never mind.’ “Whose trophies are these?”
“These eight are for the dojo itself, and these five are mine since I moved here.”
“Five trophies in four years?” He looked closer. “Five championships in four years? I thought you were a people person? How does that translate to karate mastery?”
“You don’t think I could’ve won these?”
“I’ve seen you in action I don’t doubt you at all, but the logic is all wrong. You obviously love people and yet you can pound them into the ground.”
She looked around before a sudden commotion hit the door behind them. “My logic is really strange.”
“It can’t be. Logic is logic.”
“Well maybe you can explain it to me tonight.”
Caleb smiled
. “I’ll let you know what I come up with.”
She smiled again before turning to the various warriors walking towards her in gui outfits. Caleb removed himself from the floor and set his aching body down on the bench. The variously-aged kids looked at him while Alice took the front in her white outfit and painted toes. “We have a guest today. He’s a new friend and he’s tall and funny and has a good smile and smells good today…and he’s Caleb.” The kids all turned and bowed slightly. “He knows karate just like us. He’s here to show you guys how to block.”
Caleb cocked his head and laughed.
One of the kids turned to him and asked, “What belt are you?”
“Um, the last one I had was the rainbow belt.”
A tiny boy called him out. “There’s no such thing as a rainbow belt.”
“Sure there is. It’s better than a black belt.”
A pre-teen girl sassed back. “Nuhuh, the colors get darker as you go up.”
“They run out of dark colors eventually, so they go for the rainbow after that.” He turned to Alice and smirked. “Didn’t you ever tell them about the rainbow belt?”
“No, no they’re not ready to hear about the rainbow belt,” she added secretively.
The tallest boy spoke up. “Show us some ‘rainbow’ moves then.” The kids all laughed in unison.
Caleb smiled again and pushed off the bench. He trotted in front of Alice and closed his eyes. “See, when you get to the glorious rainbow belt, you are so adept that you can fight without your eyes being open.” He extended Power very slightly and his senses shifted to his field, his vision as clear as day minus a bluish tint. “Feel free to attack anytime.”
He heard the various snickers sharply and could see and feel Alice’s magnanimous smile rain upon him. She assumed a stance as Caleb opened his hands to his side and stood as still as he could. Her right foot fired off the ground towards his head, but his forearm stopped her shin with relative ease, drawing sighs and coos of curiosity. Alice quickly turned and fell, trying to sweep, but Caleb jumped. She was suddenly faster than his natural reflexes and took advantage with a straight kick to his abdomen while he was midair. The kick landed solidly, flattening his stomach and lungs and causing him to stumble back when he landed. Caleb’s eyes opened—‘She packs a punch—look at her eyes, she’s impressed—she’s wild.’ “Apparently I’m a little rusty. I’ll try with my eyes open now.”
Alice looked into his eyes a focused woman. ‘Release a little more of me.’ Caleb obliged in an attempt to attain victory. She jogged forward and planted her left foot, her body rising to a pivot and her eyes retaining a feral lust, and she came down right, her left arm aimed at his chest. He snatched her wrist and threw it aside before quickly diverting his attention to her jabbing right hand and slapped it away as well. Her eyes averted for a second—‘Now, sweep her,’—and Caleb gave an attempt, but she caught his foot swinging and used it to trip his pivoting leg, causing the jumble of Caleb’s moves to fall to the floor.
“See what he did there? Who saw it?” Three of the small ones raised their hands. “Jenn?”
“His feet weren’t right.”
“Exactly. He was all up here and none down there.” All the kids laughed at her childish voice. “Anything else?”
“He’s a great dodger,” the tallest boy spoke up again.
“Why do you say that, Josh?”
“When you did your pivot move, he didn’t react to the fake. He watched it all the way into his own block.”
“Very good eyes.” She turned back to Caleb. “He earned that rainbow belt somehow.”
Caleb looked back up at her and made a face. “I was just reacting to your moves. No style required.”
“And why don’t you use a style, Mr. Caleb?”
He smiled at the patronizer before him. “Because style can bog you down as much as it can help you.”
“Precise-amundo. Always be ready for the unexpected, like Mr. Caleb here was today.”
‘Interesting lesson. She should be a preacher.’
‘I actually agree with you.’
She helped Caleb up as the small ones broke into groups to chat. “You are good at going with the flow.”
“The flow kind of hurts,” Caleb said with a small smile.
“Maybe that’s why I do this…maybe I don’t always want the flow to hurt, and this is a place where most people can’t touch me.”
“Most people?”
“Well you couldn’t,” she mocked.
“I’m sure I could if I wanted to.”
“You wanna go zero and three?”
“Only if you wanna be proven wrong.”
She smiled and put her hands on her hips, and was caught off guard when Caleb flung his hand to her forehead and gently pushed with his pinky. She smacked it away after the fact with surprise and deeper wildness in her eyes. “A technicality, but a touch.”
She smiled and grabbed at his finger, to which he playfully responded, “You’re now two-for-three, Champ.”
‘You have the flirting ability of a fourth grader.’
‘You say that because it’s innocent, and you’ve never known that word.’
‘Because it’s a lost meaning.’
The girl began mumbling again and slight roses arose from each cheek. Caleb smiled and leaned his head with her hiding face. She finally spoke up. “Okay, we’ll talk more tonight. Gotta…teach now.”
He grinned widely. “Have fun with that. I’ll talk to you then.”
“Good,” she said with an involuntary giggle behind it. They turned opposite ways at symmetrical times and adjusted their minds to the now, despite how great the now was only moments ago. Caleb unhitched his mind and let it wander the corral for nearly an hour as he walked, arriving near the square again by some inert directional desire. The large television screen attached to the top of a low building flashed him the time. ‘Moving fast relative to us. Are you going to that group again?’
“Gotta do something to keep myself awake,” Caleb whispered.
‘You’re nearly through day two. I’m nearly impressed. Only two more months and you can sleep soundly again. Can you make it?’
“If I have to,” he weakly whispered.
“Glowstick glowing again like a barrel fire. How are ya, kid? C’mon over here so Specs can get a look at you again.”
Caleb looked right and saw the homeless man walking towards him on a curved path. “You never told me your name was Specs.”
“I ain’t never told ya about how my old lady used to run me dry neither, but that don’t mean it didn’t happen.”
Hoots sounded from behind him. ‘The filth is multiplying.’ “I guess so. How’s business today, fellas?”
“Be a little better if you’d contribute a couple hundred dollar bills, mister,” a tiny man beside a trashcan said.
“No you shut your dirty mouth, Craig. He’s a friend. He ain’t gotta give to no cause if he don’t want to.” He turned back towards Caleb. “I kinda told them I knew you back in the day, and that you was rich back then.”
“Heh, well I’m certainly not now.”
“Hey man, you’re preaching to the choir around here. Let us do the singing.” He laughed at his own joke a bit. “Why’d you run off the other day man?”
“I saw someone that I thought was like me.”
“You saw another glowstick? Wasn’t sure what that was when we saw that the other day.”
“Maybe not another one of me, but someone was glowing bright green; it was weird.”
“You see all kinds of weird stuff with your eyes closed.”
“Seems that way.”
“Either ways, here we are. What’d you find with the light?”
“A dancing carrot….”
“Oh! I knows that crazy cat. She always dances around with me and the boys…not no club dancing or anything, naw, we got the respect. We’ll just all be jumping around and having on while she sings us a song or two.”
�
��Are you sure? She seemed pretty shy when I met her.”
“She was wide open with us, smiling and carrying on while we all threw coupons in the air and danced like crazy kids. I don’t remember her glowing.”
“I guess we saw different girls then.”
“Hahaha, Glowstick, I likes you, you know that, right?”
He flung his arm around Caleb’s shoulder. ‘Get him off you.’
‘Why? He’s not going to do anything.’
‘You’re comfortable with this?’
‘He’s a friend, not a crackpot.’ “Yeah, I do now.”
“Hey boys! Remember that carrot we’d dance with all the time? Wasn’t she the nicest?”
One rolled up into a sitting position from beneath a pile of paper. “Oh yeah, the tiny girl. She’d pudump my kraggy like crazy!”
Raucous laughter lifted from beside the cans and containers. His embraced friend snapped his fingers towards the rolling man. “She ain’t do nothing like that. Touching a crusty thing like you…. See though? She was happy-slappy around us.”
“Hmm, she’s defensive around me.”
‘Like he even knows what that means.’
“Who can be defensive around you, Glowstick? You’s a puppy-dog to look at I bet.” More laughter rang out before a bottle broke near-by. “These here rowdies I bet they’d agree if they was sober enough to.”
A group of three shambles wandered across the alley to Caleb’s back, drawing his power’s attention. Another bottle was thrown, barely missing his head and smashing against a wall. “You keep them quiet. They got no right to scream when we’re trying to sleep over here!”
Caleb turned slowly. “Why me?”
A smaller one with grease pouring from his teenage face stepped forward. “Just do it, city-boy, or my dad is bound to get pissed off.”
“Good for him. They’re having a good time. There’s plenty of other alleys, or even beds, to sleep in.”
The older man stepped forward—‘Is he attempting to look menacing? He resembles that old sailor from your memory…Popeye that’s him…how meager of a threat.’—and into Caleb’s face. “You making fun of us now, little boy?”