Icing

by Stanton, Ashley

  Truman and Kyle were in the same area in nearby Brighton Building. It was closer to the outer edge of campus and had a small patch of grass and a tree out the window. It would be their improved view for the year. An upgrade of sorts. The room was similar to their high-rise perch in 2012 but they would add their stylish touches. Diane and Rosemary would come in to add some flair.

  “We hit the ice tomorrow for the first time. We had a meeting of the new guys on the team and you are expected to mentor these yellow bellies both on and off the ice. We had very few discipline problems off the ice last year. Don’t think I and the administration don’t notice these things. If they come up and I’m pulled into the office the whole team pays. Next subject. We have voted for our next captain. The role of captain has been vacated by Deker who was picked up by the Connecticut Whale and this year we have chosen Conrad Boyle to lead us. Con?

  “I will proudly accept the “C”.” I’m honored. Thanks guys.

  “Moving forward, we have chosen Caldwell and Stewie as assistants.”

  Kyle blushed at the applause. To stand behind Con as an assistant with Stewie by his side was surreal. He would go back to the room after practice to share the news with his Mom. It filled a sense of urgency he felt to share every bit of good news with her.

  They had nearly a month of practices and scrimmages before the season began. Kyle would begin hitting the books hard. It was a balancing act and it took focus.

  His schedule would consist of macro- economics, a couple of finance classes, psychology, and creative writing. He had enjoyed working on the ad campaign at Canisius and hoped to focus in that direction. He figured psychology would be good for that. It would always help knowing what someone else was thinking. He had yet to figure out the female mind.

  He and Truman headed to the library the following Sunday. Kyle was genuinely ready to study which was not the case in his freshman year. He thought maybe he would run into Taryn. It would be nice to know more than her outward beauty. Not like there was anything wrong with that.

  The first game was at UMass Boston. They were a tough opponent who were often on top of the Hockey East. It was a Friday night contest with no required overnight because the bus would be returning to Amherst after the game. Kyle called Jackie and he would spend the weekend in Boston. She welcomed the idea and he could use the female companionship.

  The game ended in a 3-3 tie. Kyle had one goal and an assist. Due to the caliber of play they considered it a tempered success. Con had a five minute stay in the box which resulted in Boston scoring on a power play. The new guys on defense were getting used to the system and needed time to adjust to the Minutemen’s fast pace.

  Jackie was at the game and Kyle liked having a fan from back home in the stands. Truman joined the ranks in the UMass section as he had become a fixture at all games. He promised he would be there and he always stayed true to his word.

  “So good to see you Jack. It has been a while and you looked like an angel sitting in the stands. It helped having you here.”

  They embraced and spent the night roaming the streets of Boston while telling stories so rapidly they found it hard to keep up with one another. Kyle was pleased that she easily settled in at BC. It was an easy couple of days and they left it as they had in Buffalo. Two dear friends living their own parallel lives.

  ****

  Taryn was working about five shifts a week at Mame’s. She had to move up to the dinner shift from five until 11pm, and was at the theater on her nights off. She was able to pay her rent with this schedule and make rehearsals on her nights off. They occurred in the daytime for the most part. The restaurant would allow her to move shifts when theater work intensified. She liked the food at Mame’s and all her meals were free.

  Mr. and Mrs. Wright were not pleased with Taryn’s idea to defer her college education. It was a career with a limited shelf life. Mr. Wright thought she had dreams of settling down and having children when the right one came along. A life on the stage was a peripatetic. It was not a realistic career if settling down were her goal. She said it was the “settling” part that disturbed her. It was best to be young and vital while starting out because the competition was fierce. She agreed to pay her own rent in light of her decision. It was tight and she appreciated the monthly hundred bucks her Dad gave her. It was not an official stipend but he was always there with the “hundred dollar handshake.” It was a nice safety net.

  “Wendy I’m so exhausted. I can perform the vocals and oral parts in my sleep, but the dancing is killing me. I’m in pretty good shape but this requires muscles I didn’t know existed. I need something to get me through this.”

  “Taryn be careful. So many newbies will turn to narcotic cures to make sure they get sleep on a regular basis and different ones to perk them up when the body protests. You know what I’m talking about it’s everywhere and easy to get. I would suggest you use meditation or yoga as an alternative. Its en vogue these days and I can hook you up with some classes. You can’t neglect your mind or body if you want an enduring career.

  “Point taken Mother.”

  “I know I’m older but I have been at this for a very long time and I know a thing or two.”

  The following morning Taryn went to the Yoga Loft in Amherst to see what they had to offer. It would be ideal if she could gain some peace and added flexibility. As she was walking in Kyle was walking out.

  “Hey, Taryn right?”

  Kyle knew this to be true.

  “Yes, Taryn Wright. I mean yes right. Well you see Wright is my last name. So that makes you correct on both points.”

  Kyle was in some sweats issued from the athletic department and Taryn dressed similarly but stunning as always.

  “I don’t see you in the library anymore. Too good for you?”

  “No. Quite the opposite. I miss the library but I’m taking some time off to peruse a theater career. I’m here seeking a little help. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends.”

  “I get ya there. I hope this helps. It’s done a good job increasing my agility”

  “Well, me too. You should come to see the performance. It’s in Northampton at the Music Academy. “Chicago” – set in the 1920’s. I have one of the female leads. I’m not the lead but close. I play Velma. We will open in early spring.”

  “I’m sure you be amazing. I don’t get into Northampton much – too bohemian. I’m just a hockey boy from Buffalo. If I do I will be sure to catch you if the timing’s right.”

  “Cool, you would love it. It was great running into you Kyle.”

  Kyle had the same feeling he had when he first laid eyes on her. He made a mental note of her upcoming performance in Northampton. The season was pretty intense in the early spring but a trip to see Taryn dancing around on stage would be worth it.

  ****

  “Kyle are you taking off a week for Christmas?”

  “That’s the plan Tru. Same drill as last year. Spending the rest of the break here. I could stay home longer but the easy access to the arena and weight room really helps. Of course I’ll stay longer if my Mom needs me. She has been holding her own. She’s been eating a little which is encouraging but we will see how it plays out. I’m going to catch a Sabres game with my Dad and his brother. It’s a “boy’s night out” sort of thing. My Dad has been a rock to the whole family for a year now and he deserves to get away for a couple of hours. My sister and Brian will be there to keep an eye on things. Wouldn’t it be something if my Mom got through this?”

  “Send her my best. I guess I’ll see you in mid-January. Get some rest Kyle. There is life beyond hockey. You never date or party. I’m afraid you’re missing out.”

  “Message taken Tru. Thanks for keeping an eye on me man, it means a lot.”

  Kyle was back to Buffalo where they had a very low key holiday planned. They were surprised at Thanksgiving by the engagement of Juliet and Brian. They already acted like a married couple. They finished each other’s sentences and they both
attended community college. There was not a minute of the day they were not together. To his credit Brian never shied away from his responsibilities where Mrs. Caldwell was concerned. Most 20 year olds would cut and run but he was true blue. Their upcoming nuptials would dominate the conversation at Christmas. It would be good for his Mother to have something positive to focus on.

  “Hey Juliet. Merry Christmas. Are we going to start planning the wedding while I’m here?”

  “Well Big Bro you are a little late because we proceeded without you. Brian and I thought there was no sense in waiting. We had a small ceremony in the St. Rose Church. It was just Mom, Dad, the Gorski’s and Bree. We have a lot of pictures. Time was an issue and we will take a trip this summer to celebrate a late honeymoon. We were thinking a car trip throughout New England. It’s your neck of the woods so you can help us map out a trip. Please don’t feel left out we hope you understand Kyle.”

  “Well, yes Juliet I do understand and wow, I should call you Mrs. Gorski now.”

  They did not speak about it much more because it was the big elephant in the room that they weren’t discussing. She wanted to enjoy the day with her mother while she was still around. Juliet was a lot closer to the situation while Kyle was knowingly keeping his head in the sand. Juliet was living day to day with the reality of Mrs. Caldwell’s disease and he chose to ignore it while it was still possible.

  Christmas was merry but they all missed Keith who was in the Caribbean with Sharon and her family. He was preparing for dental school down south. He was avoiding the reality of their Mom’s illness even more than Kyle. Grief is a tricky one. It’s a personal journey and all the Caldwell’s had different ways to cope.

  “Are we on for the Sabres game on the 27th?”

  “I have the tickets. Your Uncle Ray will be here in the afternoon and we will head in at around five. They’re playing Toronto so the crowd will be extra loud.”

  “Dad, don’t tell me the same couple still sits in front of us. They come down from Toronto so I’m sure they won’t miss it. They are at every game as far back as I can remember. After all these years they are just “the couple from Canada”. You would think I would know their names by now. She has the worst accent and every player has a nick name that only she uses. Her chants echo in my mind for days. She always brings carrots and celery but you know she prefers chips by the look of her.”

  “Yes Kyle, they still show up. Easy does it on her look there buddy. We will see how you look at 60 when you don’t have the time for daily work-outs or youth on your side.”

  “Yeah. I guess she’s a part of the tradition. She’s a loyal fan. I give her that.”

  Kyle slept in his old bed on the third floor that night but before he fell asleep he grabbed his phone and added a date to his calendar. He picked April 1.

  “Check out Taryn’s musical. Northampton”

  A reminder, as she was a passing thought before he knocked out. He had a dream of what his little crush, who now he knew as musically inclined, was like. He knew little but hungered for more.

  Uncle Ray arrived on the 27th with a box of Tim Horton doughnuts for everyone to enjoy. He knew they were a favorite of Kyle’s. He would lead all to believe it was just something he picked up. He was not one to let others think he was sentimental or thoughtful in any way. He was tough except with little Bree who was 13. He saw his grown daughters in her. He had been only a passing figure in their lives. A regret perhaps. One which this war veteran held along with many others that Kyle could only guess and would never mention.

  They drove together in the blue sedan through the aging neighborhoods of his hometown. He found himself defending Buffalo on many occasions. It was a relic. A former steel town that had its day but know struggled to survive in this new world. You could drive for miles past the closed gates of the old industrial area and swear you saw ghosts of an old era. Buffalo natives displayed a sense of pride that knew no equals. Beer and sports reigned these days. With their Sabres jerseys proudly displayed they headed to the First Niagara Center.

  The trio parked a couple of miles away to avoid the hefty parking fees. It was cold, windy and the streets were deserted. They huddled together and powered on while Uncle Ray reminisced about the old Aud where games of the glory days were played.

  “Don’t know why they tore that thing down. The ice was frozen and the beer cold. Progress is a plague if you ask me.”

  “Ray – we didn’t ask you”

  “I want some peanuts. Remember the old black guy who sold them outside the Aud? Last I saw him he was two legs short of a pair. The peanuts were still good though.”

  “Enough Ray, yes we remember it all. Let’s go see the present day Sabres beat the Leafs.”

  The Sabres lost 3-1 but it was a night to remember. A rare time to smile with Dad whose goofy grin had been put on hold since Mrs. Caldwell became ill. The lady from Toronto was there. She left happy.

  ****

  Taryn was deeply immersed in the role of Velma. She refused to get a flapper do and had to wear a wig but she started to appear otherwise right out of the 1920’s. Thrift store shopping made it easy and this bit of character acting was working for her. Yoga had helped her dancing and she often wondered if she might encounter Kyle. This little flirtation created fodder for the imagination.

  She finished up lunch at Mame’s. They served popovers which were enormous and filled with intricate pathways for the butter to explore. She had a side salad with blue cheese dressing and a chocolate crinkle cookie to finish off the meal. It was heavenly and provided her with the stamina she needed to get through rehearsals.

  She would channel Bob Fosse to get through the tightly choreographed numbers. The male lead, Bobby, was played by Mason an Adonis looking guy in his early 30’s. He and Taryn had unique on stage chemistry. They had shared a couple of late night cocktails. It was not the romance she had expected. His boyfriend’s name was Dennis. They developed a trusting friendship. He had been involved in productions around the world including London’s West End and Broadway. Mason was a mentor to Taryn and very generous with his depth of knowledge. He saw a spark rarely seen. Certainly not in a sprite from small town New England.

  Taryn was driving home for a couple of days. She needed the break before the performance began in mid-April. She threw Fonda in the back of the wagon. Her cat was a well-seasoned traveler by now. In-fact she did quite well in the car. It was a warm and sunny spot and it meant going to Concord where there were a lot of trees to climb. She was and indoor/outdoor pet who loved mice and the occasional Cardinal. There were plenty of mice in the Main Street apartment and Fonda reduced the population considerably. At first Taryn, the animal lover, thought this was cruel. Wendy added that it was a natural progression of the food chain. Fonda seemed to develop a sense of pride in her results. It was fine with Taryn if she could avoid quashing the carcasses with bare feet at night.

  Arriving in Concord Taryn stopped in at the café to pick up some bagels and sweets to bring home. She enjoyed the familiarity of the homey eatery.

  “Hello Mrs. Sloane. I have not seen you in ages. Is Jen home or still up in Maine. I’ve called her but it goes straight to voicemail. Is Jen O.K. Mrs. Sloane.”

  “Yes Taryn. She had a hard time of it in Maine and she’s away for a while. I will tell her you asked for her. She will be in touch.”

  “Mrs. Sloane, it’s me Taryn. Where is Jen?”

  “Taryn I have to respect her privacy. The past year is her story to tell and she will. Please just give her time. She is in a safe place and she knows there is a lot of support for her here in Concord, but she can’t come home yet.”

  “Mrs. Sloane.”

  “You look well Taryn. We’ll be in touch.”

  “I’m at the same number. Call.”

  Taryn was confused and concerned. She was self-involved with leaving school, living with Devon and becoming a star. She rang up another friend she had recently neglected, Beth.

  “Hey Beth. It’s
Taryn. What’s up with Jen? I just saw Mrs. Sloane and something’s going on.”

  “Hi T. I was home from Ohio last week and there was something up so I went into private eye mode. I got in touch with Brett who led me to believe there was some type of suicide attempt. Jen took an overdose. She got the pills from home which is pretty much a pharmacy. The stress and loneliness got to her in Maine. She was put in a mental health hospital to recover. That’s all I know.

  Taryn said little else and proceeded home with a puffy face and broken heart. She forgot the sweets. Her Mom was alone in the house and Taryn blew in like Mt. Aetna. She needed an ear and her Mom provided one – a big and open one. It had been a long road to get to this point. Taryn never thought of her Mother as another human being with patience and sage advice. Mrs. Wright listened as her Daughter spilled out regrets and questions that she had bottled up for the better part of a year.

  They spoke for hours. There was so much that Taryn had never shared with her Mom. Mrs. Wright did not know what happened with Devon. She had questions about his motives she would have shared with her daughter had she been included in the conversation. She never heard things about Taryn's crush on some young man from the library or her close friend Tim. They could have laughed and cried together but no communication existed between them.

  “My dear Taryn, you never really knew how much I loved you. I’m sorry sweetheart. I was afraid to show any vulnerabilities to you and your brother. If you thought I was perfect you would not see that inside I’m just a human with flaws. I was so scared of not being good enough for you kids.”

  “You are perfect because you are our Mom. All I wanted was to know you – not some robot who knew how to set one hell of a table. It’s o.k. to spill a little. That is what we are for. You can rely on us to clean up. Everyone is going to spill now and then.”