Divided Hearts

by Carolyne Aarsen

  Kelsey’s only response was a knowing smile.

  Cory tried glaring harder, then placed her hands palms down on the desk, leaning closer. “Find someone else, either to replace him or me.”

  With a sigh, Kelsey straightened. “You can’t go because Chris is counting on you to be there. And trust me, Cory, I went through the Sweet Creek phone book starting at ‘A’ trying to find someone who could help out. Matthew was a last resort.”

  “I don’t know if I can work with him.”

  “Chris likes him. He’s a decent guy, Cory. Besides, it’s only for a while.”

  Cory bit her lip and looked away. Everything surrounding Matthew was “only for a while.”

  Yesterday had been difficult, pretending nothing had ever happened between them. But all those years of frustration and anger didn’t disappear in a few days.

  “This is really a problem, isn’t it?” Kelsey asked.

  “Yes. Well, and no.”

  “It’s not just your stepfather, is it?”

  Cory shrugged.

  “Talk to me, Cory,” Kelsey said leaning forward. “I’m your friend and you know I care what happens to you.”

  Cory smiled as she held Kelsey’s sincere gaze, conceding that she was right. She dropped into a chair across the desk and tried to explain. “He makes me feel so confused and frustrated. He always has. The first time I met him, I could tell he didn’t approve of me.”

  “In court?”

  Cory shook off her comment. “It’s silly, I know. High school and all that.”

  “High school has created many a genius and psychopath.”

  “That’s precious,” Cory said with a wry smile.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  Cory sighed. “It seems juvenile now, but it wasn’t fun. You know we grew up absolutely broke, so when prom came around, I panicked. I wanted to go so badly. I wanted to be with my friends. I had missed out on so many other things throughout high school, and I figured I could at least go to prom.

  “But I didn’t have a dress. So, I went to the thrift store and bought one cheap. To top it off, my friend Deirdre asked her cousin, Matthew, to be her escort. And then asked him to pick me up at my apartment. When I saw Matthew there, I about died of embarrassment. Here I was at our crappy apartment, with my secondhand dress and there he was with Deirdre looking all spiffy and handsome with waves of disapproval emanating from him.”

  “Maybe you were overly sensitive?” suggested Kelsey.

  “Or maybe the frown he gave me was a bit harsh? As was his dismissive comment about the place I lived?” Cory blew out a sigh. “I could see Deirdre was uncomfortable, and I was tempted to just say forget it. But I’d been looking forward to prom, and my mom had altered the dress to look more modern. I ignored him and got in his car and stayed away from him the whole night.”

  She shrugged then gave Kelsey a wan smile. “And I may have had a bit too much to drink. I was ticked at him, angry with my date who dumped me as soon as I got there, frustrated with the girls who judged me and my dress. When the school’s resident bad-boy slipped me something I figured, why not? I felt like I had already been weighed and found wanting.”

  “So... you got drunk?”

  “So very drunk.” Cory could still squirm at the memory and Matthew’s reaction.

  “You’re still upset about your poor judgement as a high school student?”

  “Maybe.” It sounded rather juvenile now that she’d laid it out in front of her friend. “But it’s all tied up in who Matthew is and was. The man who defended my stepfather in so many ways and still does.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Cory struggled to find the right words. “He still thinks Zeke was hard done by me and my mother. That we were wrong about him when, in fact, it’s the other way around. I don’t know how he can’t see what Zeke was like.”

  “Have you told him?”

  “He wouldn’t believe me. He didn’t then, why would he now?”

  Kelsey’s silence seemed to emphasize Cory’s own misgivings about Matthew.

  “It’s all such a convoluted relationship. I feel like I shouldn’t have signed that will. I feel like I’ve gone against my principles. My mom keeps ragging on about how she trusts none of it. I’m just all mixed up.”

  “What could go wrong? It’s a legal will. Maybe it’s Zeke’s way of trying to fix how he wronged you and your mother.”

  She sounded so reasonable, and part of Cory wanted to believe her. Yet, her lifelong battles with Zeke gave her a more cynical perspective.

  Kelsey rested her chin on her hands, her expression thoughtful. “You don’t have to solve this on your own,” she continued, “and you don’t have to work all the angles. But I don’t think it’s fair of you to take all the sorrows of your life and dump them on Matthew McKnight’s shoulders.”

  Cory pressed her hands against her face and shook her head. “I know, but letting go sounds too easy.” There was more, but she didn’t want to acknowledge her attraction to Matthew to herself, let alone her friend.

  “It isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as you’re making it.” Kelsey got up and walked around the desk to kneel at Cory’s side. “Matthew is a nice guy. And whether you want to admit it or not, I think he likes you.”

  “Oh, please. Don’t start on that.” Cory didn’t want to hear it. It just added to the problem.

  “Look, if you want, I can try to find someone else. Maybe twist one of the mother’s arms. Some of them hang around for the practice anyhow, maybe they can help.”

  “No. You’re right. I should be more mature.” Cory rubbed her forehead with an index finger as if trying to force away her agitation.

  “You have to admit, he’s easy on the eyes. You can’t fault me for that,” Kelsey said with a laugh as she got up.

  “No, I can’t,” Cory admitted. And that was the closest she dared think of how she really felt about Matthew McKnight.

  “Let go of all that past stuff,” Kelsey said. “Treat him like you’ve never met him before, like he’s an ordinary guy. It will make your summer a lot more pleasant.”

  Cory admitted the truth of Kelsey’s words. Even though she knew she could never get past everything that happened, it would be far easier on her if she followed Kelsey’s advice.

  Matthew bit his lip, glanced one more time at the telephone, and then made the phone call before he changed his mind.

  Kelsey picked it up on the first ring.

  “Hi, Kelsey. I need to talk to you about coaching baseball.”

  “Oh, no,” she said. “Don’t tell me you’re asking to quit, too?”

  “What do you mean, too?” He picked up a pencil and doodled on a notepad in front of him.

  “Cory was just in my office, asking if she could quit. Honestly! You two! This is not the major leagues. It’s five-year-olds who want to have fun.”

  It wasn’t hard to hear the frustration in her voice. Matthew felt sorry for her and realized how petty he was being.

  “Well, I’ll admit that it had crossed my mind, but it went in one part of my mind and now it’s out the other.”

  “Good to hear.” Kelsey’s voice became brisk and animated and for a moment, Matthew felt as if he’d been had. “Because to tell you the truth, Matthew, I think Cory likes you and doesn’t want to admit it.”

  “You’re really a dreamer, aren’t you?” Matthew laughed shortly.

  “Nope. I just know how to read people. Trust me, Matthew, Cory isn’t all prickles and stings. She just likes to act that way because it’s easier.”

  Matthew smiled and doodled some more. “Easier than what?”

  “Letting people get close to her. You know, Matthew, I know little about her, but I do know she’s had lots of pain and disappointment in her life. I really, really like her and I want good things for her.”

  Matthew leaned back in his chair. Kelsey’s defense of Cory was surprising and yet, not. He remembered Deirdre telling him he
had read Cory all wrong as well. Cory seemed to inspire a fierce devotion in the people she allowed close to her. “So what do you want me to do?”

  “Try to find out her side of the story. For her sake. She told me once that no one would listen to her. Maybe you should.”

  Matthew sighed, remembering his dilemma yesterday. Zeke or Cory. Who had told the truth? Believing Zeke justified his own actions and made everything he and his father had done to defend him important. Necessary. But to disbelieve Cory was a barrier to getting to know her better.

  And he wanted to get to know her better.

  “Just listen to her,” Kelsey urged again.

  “Thanks for the advice, Kelsey,” Matthew said, encouraged by the phone call. “I’ll try to follow it.”

  “Run after the ball, Marla. It’s getting away from you,” Cory called out, laughing as the little girl looked up from her study of her baseball glove, her expression confused. “It’s behind you, dear,” Cory encouraged. “You need to get it and throw it to first base.”

  Marla tilted her head back as if looking, then faced Cory. “I don’t see it.”

  “You have to turn right around,” Matthew called out. But little Stephen had run in from his position at shortstop, pounced on it, and thrown it by the time Marla realized she had to look a little farther.

  The little boy on first caught it, but by that time, the batter had plenty of time to amble to first base.

  Matthew walked to Marla and knelt on one knee. Cory couldn’t hear what he said, but as he talked, he pointed to the batter, then first base. His expression was intent, and Cory knew that Marla was getting a little more information than she had bargained for.

  He straightened, patted her on the head, and sauntered back, a light grin tugging on his mouth.

  Easy on the eyes, all right, Cory thought, watching him. In faded blue jeans and a T-shirt with the sleeves torn off, he was that. Easy on the eyes, and somehow less the Matthew she had spent so much time disliking.

  She thought of what Kelsey had said. Was she really making more of this than she had to? It was just that her relationship with Matthew, if she wanted to call it that, had never been straightforward. Ever.

  But Zeke was gone. She and her mother had a chance at a fresh start. If ever there was a time to let go, surely it should be now.

  “Got her all straightened out?” she asked, forcing a teasing note into her voice.

  Matthew glanced at her, his mouth lifting in a careful smile, as if he didn’t quite know what to make of her.

  And no wonder. One week she was snapping at him, the next she was bantering with him.

  “Our team will be in the pennant race yet,” he returned.

  Encouraged by his reply, Cory took a chance. “Matthew, about last practice...” she paused, uncertain of what to say. “I’m sorry I was so blunt.”

  “Truthful, is probably more like it,” he returned.

  “Maybe. But I’ve been thinking about what I said to you. I guess I have to learn to be over this...what happened the past many years.”

  “Does this mean we’re allowed to have conversations?”

  Cory laughed, surprised that he could be so forgiving, and she was thankful for it. “I guess so.”

  “Good. Then we’ll talk again.”

  His words hung between them like a promise.

  The next boy, Scott, went up to bat and hit the ball squarely, and once again it rolled past Marla who was staring at the vapor trail of a jet overhead.

  “So much for most valuable player,” Matthew sighed as he walked over to explain again to Marla what to do.

  Cory laughed, picking up a stray helmet. “Chris. It’s your turn up to bat,” she called out.

  The next few balls sailed into left field, which was a good thing because Marla was alternately inspecting her glove and crouching down, analyzing the grass.

  Cory stayed with the batters; Matthew worked with the kids in the field. Her job was easy compared to his. She simply had to show them how to hit the ball. He was busy running from one child to the other, explaining where they had to throw the ball and why.

  “It’s too far to throw it to first base,” one girl complained. So he moved her to second base.

  “How come she gets to play second? I wanted to,” another boy whined.

  “No complaining,” Matthew said sternly, “or I’m going to get Coach Luciuk to come and talk to you.”

  “Hey,” Cory called out. “How come I have to be the heavy?”

  Matthew looked up at her and even from this distance she could see his wink. “Because you’re bossier than I am.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since you made me dry dishes for a measly couple of squares,” he returned.

  Cory laughed at that, remembering their conversation in the Stanleys’ kitchen. A moment of time when things seemed less complicated between them. She shook her head, still grinning, then turned to the little girl who needed help to get her helmet on.

  The practice stumbled on, but by the end, most of the children seemed to get the basic idea of what was expected. A few mothers stopped by to pick up their children, and after a few more rounds, Cory called out for the kids to come to home plate.

  “Okay, you guys did real good,” she said as they gathered around her. “We’re having another practice next week and after that, our first real game.”

  Thirteen pairs of eyes widened. “Against who?”

  Cory glanced at her clipboard. “It’s a team from across town. The Eastbar Eagles.”

  “What’s our name?” one of the kids called out.

  “The Westside Whiners,” Matthew muttered.

  “Our name is the Sweet Creek Tigers,” she said, ignoring Matthew’s comment.

  “Oh, good. Top of the food chain,” Matthew said.

  She stifled a laugh, then turned to him, forcing a frown. “Would you cut it out?”

  He smirked back, and as their eyes held, Cory found she couldn’t look away, couldn’t break the connection. Matthew’s expression became serious, and it seemed as if he leaned a little closer.

  Swallowing, she forced her gaze back to her clipboard, bewildered at how quickly her feelings could change. It was one thing to establish a kind of truce between them. It was quite another to let anything further develop.

  “I, uh, want everyone here next week, ready to play.” She looked around at their team, all watching her. “You can go now.”

  With a whoop, the boys ran toward their parents, the girls following more sedately.

  “Well, that went pretty good,” Matthew said, tossing a ball from one hand to the other. “I think they’re getting the hang of it.”

  “It’s thanks to your coaching,” Cory admitted. She dared a quick glance at him and was rewarded with a cheeky grin.

  “Wow. A compliment from Cory.” His dimple winked back at her.

  “I don’t give them out very often, so enjoy it while you can,” she replied, seeking the teasing tone she hoped would determine how they got along the next few weeks.

  They finished cleaning up, the bags went into the back of Cory’s car, and once again, they stood together.

  A light breeze picked up Matthew’s hair, teasing it around his face. He stood in front of her, his hands in the back pockets of his blue jeans, his head tilted to one side, as if studying her.

  “Do you come with a manual, Cory?” he asked suddenly.

  “What?”

  “You know, some list of instructions that lets people know what makes you tick? I can’t seem to figure you out.”

  “There’s not much to figure.” She was unsure of where he was going. She hadn’t dated enough men to feel comfortable with the flirtatious tone in his voice and was having a hard time navigating this new territory. Matthew wasn’t just some guy she met—he came with...well...stuff.

  “Sure there is. You can come across as so tough, yet when I see you with these little kids, I see someone else. When you’re in the restaurant, you c
an laugh and joke with people. When I see you in church, you can seem so serene. Yet around me, you are as wound up as a spring.”

  She swallowed. Wished he would stop talking like this. “I guess I’m a lot of different people in one convenient package,” she said with a forced laugh.

  “I’m sure you kept your boyfriends wondering, too.”

  “Never had a lot of them.”

  Matthew looked skeptical. “Right.” He leaned against her car, his pose casual, but the movement brought him closer to her, made it seem as if he surrounded her.

  “Serious.” She took a steadying breath, uncomfortable with his nearness. “We moved around a lot, my mom and me. Hard to keep a boyfriend under those circumstances.”

  “And the moving was because of Zeke?”

  Not him again. Please, Lord. Not when she had been trying hard to see Matthew as separate from the past. “Yes,” she said.

  “Why?”

  She had thought to keep Zeke from any conversation they had but despite her resolve he came up. Again and again.

  “Doesn’t matter,” she retorted.

  Matthew said nothing, his eyes still on her. She tried not to look at him. He was engaging and good-looking, and if she allowed him closer, she would have no defense against him.

  In spite of her conversation with Kelsey, the last thing she wanted was to end up like her mother—enthralled with a man and unable to see what he was before it was too late.

  “What’s wrong, Cory?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  He grinned, lolling against her car, his one foot crossed over the other. He was self-confident, in charge.

  “Do you have time to go out once in a while?”

  Cory’s head snapped up at that, unable to stop the surge of her heart at his carefully worded question. “What are you saying?”

  “I have a few papers that my father needs signed yet. I thought instead of trying to do this at picnic tables or in the coffee shop when you are always running around, maybe we could go out for supper and do it there.”

  “Business then.”

  “Absolutely. Besides, you owe me.”

  “How do I owe you?” she asked, suddenly wary.