Divided Hearts

by Carolyne Aarsen

  Matthew dragged his hand over his face in a gesture of resignation. “She told me to leave her alone, but I can’t.” He looked at his father. “To know that she hates me hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt.”

  Clifton’s expression was sorrowful, his touch gentle as he reached across the table to clasp his son’s arm. “I’m sorry, Matthew. I’m responsible for today. I should have told you I was coming, but I assumed you had mentioned the will to her already.”

  “I should have,” Matthew said with a sigh. “I was afraid she would do exactly this. I thought I would give us a chance, buy us time. The only trouble is, right now it hurts me more.”

  Clifton regarded his son with a thoughtful stare. “I get the feeling she means a lot to you.”

  Matthew laughed shortly. “More than a lot, Dad.” He looked directly at his father and taking a slow breath, decided it was time to tell him. “I’m thinking of staying here. Staying in Sweet Creek and taking over Nathan’s practice.”

  To the casual observer, Clifton’s expression never changed. But Matthew could see his father’s lips thin, the faint tightening of the muscles in his face. “Because of her?”

  “Her name is Cory,” Matthew said. “Yes, she is one of the reasons I’ve thought about staying here. The others, we’ve talked about endlessly before. I like it here, I like the pace of the work, I like the kind of work. I don’t feel like I’m racing, constantly struggling to maintain the family reputation.” He didn’t want to say anything about his parent’s marriage. That wasn’t relevant to the discussion, but he also knew he wanted to have a similar relationship with his future wife that Nathan had with Mary. A relationship like that took the investment of time and devotion and priorities.

  “She means that much to you, Matthew?”

  “She does.” Matthew released a short laugh, as if doubting his own feelings. “Although I don’t know where I stand with her now.”

  Clifton leaned back, his hands resting on the edge of the table. “You’re willing to give up your lucrative practice in the city for her...for this?” His father waved his hand around the restaurant, his lip curled in an expression of derision.

  Matthew’s thoughts shifted back to his last meal with his parents. The elegant restaurant, with its subdued classical music, the gourmet dinner, vintage wines, and the suitably reserved waiters.

  And his mother sitting alone because his father was too busy to come on time.

  “Yes. I am,” he said.

  “Think on this, Matthew,” his father replied, leaning forward. His eyes were like lasers on him. “If you make this choice and it falls apart, I can’t guarantee you a place in the office back home.”

  Matthew’s heart lurched at the implied threat, and for a moment he wondered if he was making the right choice. If he would be burning his bridges behind him.

  Even as those thoughts slipped through his mind, as he held his father’s determined gaze, he felt a rush of disappointment. He knew he shouldn’t expect his father to agree, but he certainly didn’t expect his father to issue ultimatums.

  Before he could formulate a reply, his father stood and glanced at his watch. “I need to leave. And you have some hard choices to make.”

  With that, his father left.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The shrill sound of the phone ringing greeted Cory as she stepped into her house. The demanding noise cut through her.

  She ignored it. It was probably Matthew and she didn’t want to talk to him. If it was anyone else, well, she didn’t want to talk to them, either.

  “Can you get that please?” Joyce called from the kitchen.

  Cory hesitated a moment, then praying it was just a routine call, picked it up.

  “Cory, don’t hang up,” the voice on the other end said.

  She was right. It was Matthew.

  “I have nothing to say to you,” she said dispiritedly. “Please leave me alone.” She had no reserves to deal with him.

  “Cory, don’t do this. Don’t push me away. I’m sorry. I should have told you....”

  Cory pressed her fingertips to her eyes, still tender from crying as she sat on the couch. “I can’t deal with you right now, Matthew.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Cory wished she were better with words. Wished she could explain the confusion, the convoluted emotions she couldn’t untangle herself. Matthew and his father and Zeke, all intertwined. All had created unhappiness in her life. All had betrayed her. How could she separate Matthew from that?

  “Cory, I need to talk to you. Please let me come over.”

  Cory felt a sob rise in her throat. She glanced up to see her mother standing in the doorway of the kitchen. How would she tell Joyce that once again Zeke had taken something away from them?

  She ended the call.

  “Who was that, dear?” Joyce asked with a frown.

  “Wrong number,” Cory answered, pulling her legs up to her chest, as if to protect her heart.

  “What’s the matter?” Joyce came into the living room and sat on the couch beside her daughter. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “I’m tired,” Cory whispered.

  Joyce touched Cory’s forehead. “You don’t feel hot or flushed, yet your cheeks are red.”

  Cory studied her mother’s face, noting the lines etched by disappointment and deepened by the pain her mother dealt with every day. “If you had one wish, Mom, what would it be?”

  Joyce tilted her head sideways, studying Cory. “What brought this on?”

  Cory shrugged. “Just wondering.”

  “I think you know the answer to that.” Joyce held Cory’s gaze, a light smile playing around her mouth.

  “To see Nik again,” Cory said.

  To her surprise, her mother shook her head. “No. Right now, you are my main concern, Cory. Always have been.” Joyce brushed a strand of hair away from Cory’s face, tucking it carefully behind her ear. “My wish would be that you would be free to do whatever you wanted. Free to make your own choices. I’ve often felt like a burden to you. Like you’ve had to take care of me.”

  “No, don’t say that,” Cory protested.

  “Let me finish. I sometimes wish there were a way I could let you live your life.” Joyce smiled lightly. “When you first told me about this will, I didn’t want you to take anything from Zeke. But now, I’m glad you went ahead. You’ll finally have a chance to focus on the catering business.”

  Each quiet word cut through Cory, twisting and reinforcing her distress. How could she have been so blind, so naive as to put them both in this position? Once again, her mother would have to face disappointment.

  “I don’t know how to tell you this, Mom,” Cory said, straightening. “I just got back from seeing Matthew and his father. There was another will that surfaced later. We aren’t getting anything from Zeke after all.”

  Joyce sat back, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

  Even as Joyce voiced the question, Cory saw resignation on her face. “The will giving everything to me isn’t valid because some woman Zeke was living with showed up with a handwritten will leaving her everything. We could fight it, but that would mean more lawyers’ fees and more hassle.”

  Her mother didn’t look surprised. It was as if she guessed it was too good to be true.

  “You don’t want to do that, do you?” she asked.

  Cory shook her head. “No. I don’t. She can have it. I should never have believed Matthew in the first place. He lied to me.” Her words sounded so harsh. Even as she spoke them, Cory knew they weren’t entirely true.

  When the phone rang again, neither she nor her mother answered it.

  Matthew ended the call and blew out his breath. Well, that was a bust. He knew he shouldn’t expect that Cory would fall willingly into his arms now. But he had hoped, prayed she might at least listen. Even for a moment.

  He sat back in his chair, swiveling back and forth, back and forth as he considered his options. How could he reach he
r? How could he tell her he was just an ordinary man, a man desperately in love with her? A man who had made a mistake with far-reaching consequences, all because he trusted the wrong person.

  A rush of fear coursed through him at the thought that she and Joyce might up and leave. He could just imagine what Cory’s mother was saying to her right now.

  He dragged his hands over his face, considering his options. He could go to her house right now and try to convince her, but could he tell her in front of her mother?

  He could wait, but for what? No matter how long he took she would still be angry with him and still not trust him.

  He pulled open a file he had been working on and tried to focus on his work. But all he could see was Cory’s dark-brown eyes, shining with tears of hurt and betrayal. All he could hear was her longing for love from a man who had hurt her so badly.

  He slammed the folder shut, furious with Zeke and hurting for Cory, then dropped his head into his hands. His heart was sore for the woman he loved, and he wished he knew how to help her. He drew in a slow breath, willing away the fear that she was slipping away from him.

  His thoughts were broken by the sound of his secretary’s voice coming over the intercom.

  “I’ve got your father on the line for you, Matthew,” she said.

  “I’ll take the call,” he said, wondering what his father could want. He had made his position clear the last time they spoke.

  “I need to say something to you,” his father said.

  “Okay...” Matthew let the word hang between them, inviting his father to lead the conversation.

  “I shouldn’t have spoken so harshly today. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, Dad. I understand. McKnight and McKnight is important to you, and I think you feel I don’t see it the same way.”

  “I know you don’t.” This was followed by a heavy sigh. “I had such dreams for the business. I wanted so hard for it to succeed and build on what my father started. I always hoped you felt the same.”

  “I appreciate all you’ve done for me, Dad. Never forget that.”

  A long pause followed his comment, and Matthew wondered if his father had misinterpreted what he tried to say.

  “Thanks for that, Matthew,” his father said, his voice quiet, “but I am sensing there is more to what you are saying.”

  Matthew pinched the bridge of his nose, searching for the right words, the right way to say what was on his mind, while wondering if he should bother. “I guess...I’m just trying to say...that...well...I want something different. I want to be able to come home for supper. To spend time in the evening doing things I enjoy.” He released a short laugh. “I have a set of golf clubs, a fly fishing rod, a snowboard, some hockey equipment, and a tennis racket that I’ve never used. The only thing I’ve used in the past is my baseball glove. And that was here.”

  “You only see success when you focus, son, and the legal business is fierce. You have to swim hard and fast to get ahead. You have to keep moving to stay alive.”

  Did his father realize he used a shark analogy? The very thing most people associated with lawyers?

  “It isn’t like that here,” Matthew said. “Not working for Nathan. I think he’s pretty happy. He and Mary can spend time together and nurture other relationships, be a part of a community. Go to church. I want that.”

  “You want that with Cory? The girl who was so angry with you?”

  This elicited another sigh. “I’m hoping she’ll come around.”

  “If she doesn’t?”

  Matthew understood the subtext in his father’s voice.

  “I’ll have to take that chance, won’t I?” He doodled on a legal pad then leaned forward, his mind working. “In the meantime, I’m trying to do something for her and her mother.”

  “To make up for Zeke?”

  Matthew was glad to hear his father take ownership of his part in the botched will. “Partly. And partly because I just want to help. Did you know that Joyce had a son before Cory was born?”

  “No. I didn’t.”

  “His name was Nik. She gave him up for adoption before she met Zeke. I’m trying to find him.”

  “And you want my help.”

  “I want your firm’s help.”

  “I think I can arrange that,” he said.

  Relief made Matthew sag back in his chair. “That would be great, Dad.”

  “Tell me what you need and I’ll see what I can do.”

  “I might need to come to the city to finalize a few things,” Matthew said, his tone carefully neutral. “We can talk more then.”

  “Of course.”

  Thankfully, his father said nothing more. Matthew said goodbye and hung up, tapping his pen on the legal pad. He knew he had a lot of ground to make up with Cory and he prayed that he could.

  He had a few ideas, but for now, he had his client’s files to work on.

  Life goes on, life goes on.

  This refrain drifted through Cory’s head over the next two days. She smiled at the customers and threw out a few lame jokes. Each time the door opened, she jumped, half dreading, half expecting Matthew’s arrival.

  He didn’t come either day. She didn’t know if she should cry with relief or sadness. It was as if her emotions were in suspension. She held herself close, afraid to examine how she truly felt.

  She relived the scene with Clifton and Matthew again and again, unable to stop.

  Her thoughts veered between thinking she had overreacted and thinking she had done the right thing, between Matthew hiding the truth from her and then asking her forgiveness.

  Home was hardly sanctuary, either. Her mother was irritable and cranky, muttering comments about sneaky lawyers, reinforcing Cory’s own doubts.

  By midafternoon of the second day, Matthew still hadn’t come. The pain relievers she had taken were finally easing the headache that had pounded against her temples since she left Matthew and his father.

  “Can you come to my office?”

  Cory glanced over her shoulder. Kelsey stood in the kitchen of the inn, her arms crossed over her chest with a no-nonsense look on her face.

  “I’ve got an hour to go yet. I’ll finish my shift first.” She really didn’t want to talk to her friend right now.

  “You’ve messed up two orders already. That’s not like you at all. I think you may as well come and have a cup of coffee with me.” Kelsey caught her friend by the arm and almost dragged her to her office. She closed the door and pulled out a chair for Cory, then sat across from her.

  “Now. Tell Aunty Kelsey why you’ve been walking around with rings under your eyes, looking like you’re ready to burst into tears. I heard Matthew and his dad came in the day before yesterday and that you took off after that. I don’t think I’m being too snoopy to ask you why. I wanted to talk to you yesterday but figured you needed some time.”

  Cory leaned her chair back against the wall, closing her eyes in resignation. “One of these days, remind me to tell you what a bossy boss you are,” Cory complained.

  “I’m also your friend,” Kelsey said.

  Cory opened her eyes and gave her a resigned smile. “That you are. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how thankful I am for that friendship.”

  “You’ve told me now.” Kelsey tilted her head to one side. “So. What happened?”

  “Clifton McKnight came to tell me that there was another will that nullifies the one Zeke made up for us. Mom and I get nothing.”

  “Oh, Cory. I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too. The worst of it was, Matthew knew for a week and didn’t tell me.” Cory lifted her hand in puzzlement. “What was he trying to do? Protect my lousy ex-stepfather?”

  “Maybe he was scared to tell you.”

  “Why would that be?”

  “Because of the way you’re acting.”

  Cory dropped the chair’s front legs back on the floor. “Matthew has never been afraid of anything in his life.”

  “I think he’s afra
id of you.”

  Cory shivered slightly at what Kelsey said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “I see how he looks at you, Cory. The man is crazy for you.”

  Cory shook her head. “Then why didn’t he come yesterday or today?”

  “What do you want, Cory? You’re angry with him, yet you want him to come so you can give him the cold shoulder?”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “Oh, you’d sooner he stayed away so you can brood about how awful men are? So you can convince yourself that you don’t deserve love? That you don’t deserve to be happy with him?”

  Cory glared at Kelsey, but couldn’t reply.

  “Don’t do this, Cory. Don’t push him away. He’s a great guy, and you know it.”

  Cory wished she could make things as easy as Kelsey did. She wished she could neatly sort out her emotions and label them “Past” and “Present.”

  “What do you want, Cory?” Kelsey asked.

  Cory dropped her face in her hands. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “Why don’t you try to tell me?”

  Cory swallowed a thick knot of pain, searching for the right words. Kelsey was the first true and loyal friend she had. Someone she could open herself up to. Not even Deirdre or her mother had been party to her deepest thoughts. All her life, she had been strong, holding her fears and concerns to herself.

  “Cory. You just told me I’m your friend,” Kelsey said. “You’re right. I care about you. We’ve only known each other for half a year, but I feel like we have a connection.”

  Cory took a deep breath, lowering her hands and smiling back at her friend. “You won’t think I’m crazy?”

  “I already know you’re crazy.” Kelsey slanted her a quick grin.

  Cory chuckled, but was quiet a moment, gathering her thoughts.

  “I’m so confused,” she said finally. “I can’t pray, I can’t think. I love Matthew, but I’m scared of what he can do to me. I didn’t even care about my stepfather as much as I love Matthew, and if Zeke can hurt me this much even after he’s dead, how much more can Matthew?”