Forgotten Dreams

by Janet Lane-Walters

  She grasped the side rail. Her knuckles whitened. “I understand you’re used to attention from women who see you as a strong, virile and sexy man. Are you afraid of your fans seeing you as helpless?”

  She spoke a truth he didn’t want to admit. He chewed on his lower lip. “Probably.”

  “Sorry to hear that.” She stepped back. “I can’t be your constant companion. I have a life.”

  He stared at his hands. “Is this about our past?” When she nodded, shame washed through him. In his rush to fame he’d forgotten what she’d meant to him. “Emma.”

  “I don’t want to discuss the past.”

  “I wish I’d been a better friend.”

  She backed toward the door. “I’ll visit when I can.”

  “Emma.” He wanted to leap from the bed and grab her to keep her from leaving. The curtain closed.

  * * *

  Though she heard Chad call her name and caught the hint of yearning in his voice, she continued to hurry away. The past lay like a stone wall between them. Hollywood, screaming fans and fawning women. Everything she’d read and heard shouted his life of being stage front. Her life was here and the partnership with Manon.

  Outside ICU, she halted and drew a deep breath to stem remembrances of what had been. They’d been young and in love. The future had been a dream. She couldn’t return to those days. Moving forward meant having no dreams.

  Back to work. Finish rounds. Go home and spend time with Claire and Brian. She had her life. He had his. As she left the hospital, dark clouds released a steady stream of rain, rather like the tears she refused to shed.

  * * *

  Chad slumped against the pillows. Her final words echoed like a shout in the mountains reverberating from peak to peak. Was the past all they had? Was there a way to find a future? Was it too late to make amends? Seeing her again had stoked the feelings he’d forgotten. Years ago, he had been captivated by the glitz and glamour. He’d found an agent who had used photo ops to gain Chad the role of Storm. He couldn’t change the past. His fears coiled into a ball. Would Emma avoid him? He vowed to find a way to change the present.

  A short time later, Dr. Markham entered the cubicle. “X-rays show the bones are aligned correctly. You’ll be transferred to a private room we usually keep for isolation though that won’t deter the determined.”

  “How long will I be here?”

  “At least ten days to two weeks. Depends on how well you heal. Once you have a full cast on both legs, you need to go somewhere where you have help with your daily care until the casts are off. Be about four to six weeks.”

  Chad groaned. “Then what?”

  “Rehab somewhere. Physical therapy. Maybe Occupational Therapy.” Dr. Markham paused. “A bit of advice. Consider a career change. The roles you currently play bring a chance of further damage.”

  Chad nodded. “Write a letter saying this is the case and I’ll thank you. I would happily never play Storm again.”

  “I’ll see one is sent to you.”

  Chad leaned back. His grin threatened to break his jaw. Wait until Gregson hears this news. Shame he didn’t have his phone so the doctor could make the announcement.

  Not long after Dr. Markham left, a transport team arrived and wheeled Chad’s bed to the promised private room on the fourth floor. They entered the anteroom. A long table held a sink with a place to work. A linen hamper was nested beneath the table. Inside the spacious room, the bed faced the large window. He watched rain pelting the glass.

  Moments later Rob and another man followed the nurse inside. While she checked the traction and did a quick assessment, the pair sat on the chairs.

  After she left, Rob looked up. “Don’t know if you remember my cousin. Simon is a partner in a security firm.”

  Chad appraised the other man. “High school. Football. Two years behind me.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  “Why didn’t you go to the Academy?” Chad asked.

  Simon laughed. “I’m the poor relative. Rob said you need a protective detail to keep unwanted visitors from invading your space.”

  “I sure do. I’ll be here maybe two weeks. Then who knows where I’ll go.”

  “I’ve an idea but I have to see if it will work.” Rob opened an insulated bag. “They’re probably chasing your lunch down so I figured a burger would be a treat.”

  “From the Bounty?”

  “Where else?”

  While Chad devoured the burger and huge fries, Simon discussed a protection detail. “Are you concerned about the cost?”

  “I’m good for a chunk of cash, especially if I can retrieve my duffle. There’s cash, my credit cards and check book.”

  “You’ll need three men for eight hour shifts.”

  Rob leaned forward. “Even nights?”

  “The secret is out,” Simon said.

  Chad nodded. “The rain’s keeping them from clustering outside but the sun will shine tomorrow.”

  “You are so right,” Simon said. “Security ejected two men trying to invade ICU. They had cameras. Security will welcome the help.”

  Rob pulled a phone from his pocket. “Your duffle is at my house.” He tossed Chad a phone. “You were lucky no one found your stash. Why so much cash?”

  “I didn’t want to use credit cards,” Chad said. “Use them once and paparazzi are on your trail. I wanted to escape for awhile.”

  “You found an interesting way to do that,” Simon said.

  Chad chuckled. “You are so right.”

  When the two men left, Chad relaxed. Protection had been arranged. At four o’clock, Simon would arrive with the first of his guards. Chad reached for his phone and hit voice mail. His agent had called at least ten times a day. After hearing the first, he deleted all but the last. Gregson had heard about the accident and would come to Fern Lake to talk about the accident and the studio’s new version of the fifth Storm movie.

  Chad groaned. He needed to find a safe refuge for his remaining time and a way to avoid his agent until his future plans were set.

  * * *

  On Monday morning after a restless night, Emma overslept. She dressed quickly and grabbed a slice of toast and a mug of coffee to eat on the way to the hospital for rounds. There wasn’t time to see Chad. The relief she felt brought a sigh. All night dreams had awakened her. Frustration dreams where she couldn’t move or ones where she ran toward a goal ever out of reach. She gripped the steering wheel. What did he expect from her? She dare not ask.

  Her second in-patient was in ICU. She read the notes and agreed with the neurologist to have the elderly man transferred to a medical unit and await nursing home placement.

  A quick scan of the charts showed Chad had been transferred. None of the nurses on duty knew or wouldn’t say where Ian Greve was located. She had no time to visit Security. She finished rounds and drove to the office.

  Her forehead wrinkled. Why the frustration? Not knowing where he was had prevented a visit. Even though she shouldn’t, she wanted to see him. Why these mixed feelings?

  When she entered the converted ranch house, she saw two patients in the waiting room. She waved and paused at the desk.

  Claire looked up. “You were a bit rushed this morning. I left a container of yogurt on your desk. The radiologist is in this morning in case you have anyone who needs one.”

  Emma shook her head. Manon had rented the large basement of the house to a radiologist who came in every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. “I don’t think so.” She hurried to her office and opened the container. Before she finished, Karen popped into the room.

  “Your patients are waiting,” the nursing assistant said. “Dr. Reid has already begun.”

  “Which rooms are mine?”

  “Two and four. If you need me, call.”

  Emma scraped the yogurt container and donned a lab coat. She strode to the door to begin her day.

  Her first two patients arrived for their yearly physicals. She wrote orders for lab work. F
or the next three, she checked blood pressures, reordered meds and lectured on diets for hypertension. A teen with a red raw throat needed a throat culture. The scarlet tissues shouted strep. Strep required antibiotics but she wouldn’t order them before the culture results came in. Antibiotics had no effect on a viral infection.

  “I’ll have the results of the culture later today and will call in a prescription if needed.” She hoped this wasn’t the first of a cluster of strep infections. She entered the small lab and began the culture. Doing them on side rather than sending them to a lab saved time.

  By the time lunch arrived her sleepless night brought yawns and the desire for a nap. Claire arrived with salads and heroes from a nearby deli. While they ate, she, Dr. Reid and Karen talked about the patients they’d seen.

  “I recommend you start the young man on antibiotics now,” Dr. Reid said.

  “But there’s a chance this is viral,” Emma said. “I’ll check the culture before I leave.”

  He nodded. “How sure are you about your diagnosis?”

  “Maybe ninety percent.”

  “You need to trust your gut.” He smiled. “That will take time.”

  After he left to do notes on his morning patients, Emma called Manon. “How are you and Junior doing?”

  Manon chuckled. ‘Getting used to each other. He woke every three hours so my sleep was jumbled.”

  “Mine, too.”

  “Why?”

  “Chad Morgan is in town. Actually at General under an assumed name.”

  “Really. Are you going to see him?”

  “I did. Yesterday after I visited you.” She sighed.

  “Will you see him again?”

  “I don’t know. There’s a lot of the past to solve.” Karen waved to her. “Got to go. Patients await.”

  At four Emma saw the last patient for the day. Dr. Reid had left at three. She checked the culture under the microscope and called the prescription to the pharmacy. She walked down to see the radiologist. “There’ll be three for you on Friday.” She handed him the forms. “If you need to change the times, call them.”

  He checked his book and filled in the names. “Looks good.”

  Emma returned to her office and completed her records for the day. As the last to leave, she checked the doors.

  When she arrived home, Claire turned from the slow cooker where she was dishing out the chicken she had cooked all day. Emma drained the noodles and vegetables. Brian put the silverware on the table. After dinner, Claire and Emma cleaned the kitchen while Brian chattered about his day.

  “Are you going to see you know who?” Claire asked.

  Emma shrugged. “I’m not sure I should. Not knowing where he’s been transferred to might be for the best.”

  “Go. You need to tell him how you feel. And how you wasted years waiting for him. When I think of my time wasted waiting for Kevin to change, I want to scream. I believe you should take this chance.”

  “You’re right.” Emma ran upstairs to her bedroom, showered and changed into jeans and a sleeveless bright blue tunic. “Wish me luck.”

  “I do and also guts.”

  She drove to the hospital and parked. Several men and women with cameras and mikes stood near the entrance. A woman thrust a mike in Emma’s face. “What can you tell me about Chad Morgan?”

  “Who?” Emma continued past. She heard the woman ask another visitor the same question.

  Once inside, she walked to the Security office and tapped on the door. The guard looked up. “How can I help you?”

  “I’m here to see Chad Morgan. I’m Emma Grassi. I’m on the list.”

  “Driver’s license.”

  She handed it to him. He looked from the picture to her. “401 East. He has a guard there.”

  “Thanks.”

  When Emma reached the room, she paused in the anteroom and faced the guard. “I’m Emma Grassi.” She offered her driver’s license.

  He lifted a camera and snapped Emma’s picture. “For our use.”

  Emma walked into the inner room. Chad’s bed faced the huge window. She approached the bed. “How do you feel?”

  “Helpless. Bored. I’m stuck in this bed until the wound heals and a cast is in place.” He groaned.

  Emma nearly laughed. “You’re alive. Your bones will heal. You’ll be back to Hollywood and your life there.”

  “Maybe. You know how I hate being tied down.”

  She shook her head. “I really don’t know you any more.”

  “That’s my fault. Emma…”

  From the anteroom, she heard Sandra’s throaty voice. “I’m the supervisor and must be sure all the patients on the unit have the best care.”

  Emma saw the look on Chad’s face. “You can’t run.”

  “Don’t I know it.”

  Sandra pushed the door open. When she saw Emma, she halted. “What are you doing here?”

  Before Emma had a chance to speak, Chad grasped her hand. “Emma’s an old friend. She’s one of the people on my list. We’re catching up on what’s been happening since the last time we were together.”

  Emma wanted to laugh at the expression on Sandra’s face. She also wanted to push the other woman out the door. She tensed. Those kind of thoughts had to end.

  Sandra wheeled. “I’ll be back and we can discuss the matter we talked about before.” She shut the door with a loud click.

  Chad growled. “Spare me from needy, greedy women.”

  “Ignore her. Insult her. Tell her you’re taken. That might stop her.”

  “Wish I could say that.”

  Emma shook her head. He could have been taken but he hadn’t cared enough to keep in touch.

  “Could I add her to the list of photographers and reporters?”

  “You could but she’s a supervisor and is responsible for your care. Also when she has a man in her sights, she’ll keep trying.”

  “I won’t be here forever. I’m counting the days.”

  Emma pulled her hand free from his grasp. She hated the simmering sensations rolling form his touch. “What has the doctor told you?”

  “Spine is fine. I’ll be here until the stitches are out and the cast is a full one. Then I leave but I have no idea where I’ll go. Home, I suppose but I need to talk to Rob. We have plans to make.”

  “About what?”

  “Turning Rob’s first book into a movie with me as the lead.”

  Emma frowned. “I’ve read the book. Is that your kind of role? You’ve done no straight drama roles in Hollywood.”

  A dozen emotions flashed on his face. “I’m tired of fights and chases. Remember the community theater? And that in the high school I played different characters? The studio wants me to do Storm two more times. The doctor thinks that’s a bad idea.”

  Emma stared at her hands. How could he give up his role as Storm when he was paid millions for each film? As a teen he’d hated how hard his mother had worked. Money had been important to him.

  “Do you really want to stay in Fern Lake?”

  He shrugged. “If I could find a place where I wouldn’t have to face photo ops and interviews. Besides, at home my bedroom is on the second floor.” He tugged her closer.

  Though Emma knew she should back away, she couldn’t move. Her body felt distanced from her mind. The movement of his fingers on her hand brought a rush of heat. Throbbing began low in her belly. Her nipples peaked. Her heart rate accelerated. When his lips brushed hers she fought to control her desire to surrender.

  A rapping at the door allowed her to step back. Chad growled. “This isn’t finished.”

  Rob paused in the doorway. “Sorry.”

  Emma smiled. “I was just leaving. How is your niece?”

  “Growing and chattering.”

  Emma walked to the door. She heard Rob’s suggestion. “Why not come to my house when you leave?”

  She turned. “I’ll see you tomorrow after rounds.”

  Rob laughed. “Don’t let those vultures out
side find out you know Chad. The secret is out.”

  “I saw them when I came in.”

  Chad growled. “I’ll find a way to avoid them.” He paused. “When you come tomorrow we have a lot to talk about.”

  “There won’t be time.”

  As she drove home she fought to dampen the pulsing need she’d felt during the kiss. She couldn’t allow resurging dreams to fill her thoughts. Too much of her life belonged to Fern Lake. The practice, her home, her family. To leave and be a stranger among people who weren’t her kind caused a chill despite the warm day. She hoped Chad would listen when she told him there would be nothing in the future between them.

  Chapter 4

  Rob settled in the chair beside the bed. “Sorry I chased your visitor away.” He arched a brow. “Were you and Emma talking about the past?”

  Chad drew a deep breath. “We were.” For a moment he savored the kiss. “I’m glad she promised to come back. I blew my chances with her years ago by letting fame and flattery go to my head. I wish I’d been a better friend.”

  Rob nodded. “Years ago, I did a number on Andi. I hurt her more than I imagined. She finally forgave me. Having to share custody of Tammy helped.”

  “We’ve nothing to bring us together. I’m scrambling to find something.”

  “There’s always hope.”

  “If I can keep her around long enough for me to grovel. She said she’ll visit after rounds tomorrow. Her coming this evening surprised me.” He stared at the window. “I can’t wait to escape this place. I just need to find a place where I can see her.”

  “Come to the cabin,” Rob said.

  Cabin was an oxymoron for the spacious additions to the log cabin. “Are you sure? I’m kind of helpless. What does Andi think of your idea?”

  “She’s on board and is researching equipment.” Rob pointed to the pull bar above the bed. “With someone to hold your legs while you flex your muscles, you can be wheelchair ready. There are plenty of bedrooms.”

  “I’ll consider the possibility. Won’t my presence interfere with your writing schedule?”