She’d thought Mark a soft, intellectual type and had been attracted to him at first only because of his unusual, robin’s-egg blue eyes and curly blond hair. She’d been drawn to the gentle innocence of his gaze, but she soon discovered she liked him. Then it became a quest to see if she could get him to marry her. He was her best chance to ever get free of the saloon. To live a life she’d only dreamed about.
Now what was she going to do? She’d wandered through the few businesses in Lookout, and nobody had a job opening of any kind. She thought about stopping in the Wet Your Whistle, but that would be going right back to where she’d been before. How was she going to get by?
Everett’s money wouldn’t last forever.
The night of the next Saturday social was perfect. A cool north wind had blown in, making the temperature bearable. The sun hanging low in the sky showed the beginnings of a beautiful sunset with its brilliant orange glow. But Shannon’s heart wasn’t in dancing or enjoying the sunset. Why had she allowed Leah to drag her along?
Dancers kicked up their heels to the lively music, stirring up a low-hanging cloud of dust. A couple of the men let out whoops as they twirled their dance partners in a circle. The size of the crowd was more than triple that of the first social. Since news of Dan and Leah’s engagement and that of another couple’s, unmarried folks had flocked here from miles away to meet new people and have a good time.
Both Shannon and Leah had remained behind the table, much to the disappointment of the men who’d asked them to dance. The only man Shannon wanted to dance with wasn’t in attendance. Annabelle, on the other hand, had yet to say no to a single man, Shannon was sure. She watched the flirtatious woman laughing and twirling with a handsome cowboy. If she had designs on Mark, no one would know it tonight.
Someone to Shannon’s right cleared his throat, and she glanced sideways.
The comely rancher smiled. “I do believe you promised me a dance tonight, Miss O’Neil.”
Inwardly, Shannon sighed. Why had she agreed to dance with this man last weekend? She forced a smile, knowing she couldn’t go back on her word. “Aye, that I did.”
Relief widened his smile, and he took her hand, leading her to the lot beside the church where the dancers were. She placed her free hand on his shoulder, finding that she could barely reach it. Why did men grow so tall in Texas?
“In case you didn’t remember, my name is Rand Kessler.”
She remembered. She also knew he was the man who had once hoped to marry Rachel, before Luke returned to Lookout. He seemed a nice enough man, and he must be for Rachel to have agreed to see him.
“I own a ranch outside of town a ways. We raise shorthorn cattle and horses.”
Mr. Kessler spun her around in time with the music and held her gently, not possessively, like so many of the men did. She liked that about him. “Have you always lived in Texas, Mr. Kessler?”
“Call me Rand, ma’am. And no, I haven’t. My daddy came here after our Georgia plantation was destroyed in the war. I was just a young boy when we first arrived here. But I’ve lived most of my life here, and Texas will always be my home.”
That explained the slight Southern twang to his speech. She thought about his traveling here from Georgia and realized they had something in common—they were both immigrants to this land.
“How did you happen to come here?” Rand’s ears suddenly turned red, and his gaze shot everywhere but at her. “I mean, I know how you came to be in Lookout since you were one of the…uh…mail-order brides the Corbetts ordered, but how did you get here from Ireland?”
She scowled at his mention of the Corbetts. For a whole two minutes, Mark hadn’t entered her mind. But Rand wasn’t aware of how the name affected her, and she chose to forget about it. “My da had the grand idea of coming to America, the land whose streets are paved in gold. Imagine his surprise when we arrived in New Orleans.”
“Where are your parents now? If I may ask?” He cleared his throat and again looked uncomfortable. “I mean, why would they allow you to travel to Texas alone as a mail-order bride?”
She broke eye contact and stared off in the distance. He was just being cordial and had no idea how his questions stirred up hurts. They danced around another couple and in and out of the crowd. Finally she worked up her nerve and looked at him again. “My parents died shortly after we arrived in New Orleans.”
His eyes widened. He danced her over to the edge of the crowd, and then stopped and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I had no idea. Have you no brothers or sisters?”
She shook her head.
“Me neither. I’m an only child. Well, I am now, but I did have a little sister. She died from a snakebite.” His lips pursed as if mentioning the old accident still pained him.
Shannon laid her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Rand. I, too, have lost all my siblings, but ’twas a long time ago, back in Ireland.”
He nodded. “Care to take a walk?”
“Aye, ’twould be nice.”
He offered his arm and guided her around the dancers and back toward the refreshment table. As they passed Leah, she lifted her brows and smiled in a teasing manner. Shannon hoped her friend didn’t make too much of her walk with Rand. He was a nice, lonely man, and she was a lonely woman. “Tell me about your ranch.”
“It’s small compared to some ranches in Texas, around ten thousand acres.”
Shannon gasped, and he stopped and stared at her. “That’s small?”
He shrugged, but pride pulled at his lips. “For Texas. There’s so much land here, it can take a month to cross it all.”
“Surely it must take a long while to cross ten thousand acres.”
“Well, we don’t normally ride the whole thing at one time. The ranch is kind of in the middle of it all.”
They walked down the street, talking, and by the time he saw her back to the boardinghouse, she’d made a decision.
If Rand Kessler ever asked her to marry him, she’d accept his offer.
Her heart might belong to Mark, but since he didn’t want her, she needed to look elsewhere. And Rand seemed as good as they came.
CHAPTER 26
Silverware clinked around the table as the boarders enjoyed breakfast. Leah looked around the group and realized how close she was becoming to the Davis family and to Shannon. She’d been desperate last spring when she wrote to Luke Davis about becoming his mail-order bride, but things certainly hadn’t turned out as she’d expected. Soon she would marry. This coming Sunday after church, if Dan returned on time, but not to the man she originally thought she would wed.
Christine Morgan carried on a lively conversation with Rachel and Annabelle, while Shannon stared into her coffee cup. There ought to be something Leah could do to encourage her friend, but then she was pining away, too.
She moved the last of her eggs around on her plate. She missed Dan terribly. Had he settled his brother’s estate and gotten the children situated at his sister’s house? Was he already on his way home?
“Have you had any news from Dan?” The marshal stared at Leah while adding a spoon of sugar to his coffee.
She shook her head. “No, I didn’t really expect to hear from him. I figure he could be home in less time than it would take to send a letter. Besides, I don’t see Dan as the letter-writing type.”
Luke grinned. “You might be right about that. He’s far better suited to a hammer and anvil.”
Rachel buttered her biscuit and slathered apricot jam on it. “That’s such a shame for Dan to lose his brother and sister-in-law right on the heels of his mother’s death.”
“Yes, it is. My heart aches for him. I don’t know how he holds up.” Leah laid her napkin next to her plate.
“’Tis difficult to lose two family members at once.”
Heads nodded around the table. Everyone knew about Shannon’s loss.
Leah patted her friend’s shoulder and offered a smile, then looked at Rachel. “Thank you for another wonde
rful breakfast. It was delicious as always. Can I help with the cleanup?”
Rachel waved her hand as usual. “No, thank you. Just go off and finish that dress. Sunday will be here before you know it.”
Shannon stood, too. “I almost have the lace completed. I just need a few more hours’ work.”
“I love the lace you gave me for a wedding gift. It will always be special to me.” Rachel smiled at Shannon and then turned to her daughter. “You’d better finish up and head to school. You don’t want to be late on the first day.”
Jack shoved a piece of biscuit into her mouth and winked at Billy Morgan. “We wouldn’t want to be late, would we?”
“I love school.” Tessa pushed away from the table, her eyes sparkling. “Do you have a nice teacher?”
Jack stood and gulped down her milk. “Yeah, she’s all right, but let me tell you about Butch Laird. He’s the class bully, and you’ll want to stay away from him.”
“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that boy. I had a good talk with him and scared him straight.” Luke stretched and downed the last of his coffee.
A knock sounded on the front door, and Leah moved toward it. “I’ll grab that, so you just enjoy your biscuit, Rachel.”
As she entered the hall, she realized how brash that sounded. Here she was, a guest at the boardinghouse, and she was answering the door and telling the owner what to do. She smiled to herself. At least Rachel was kind enough not to mind her guests bossing her around.
She pulled the heavy door open, and her heart did a somersault. Dan stood on the other side of the screen door, devouring her with his eyes. He looked so handsome. So wonderful. He yanked the screen open, and she squealed and jumped into his arms. He turned a circle, taking her with him.
“Welcome back, Dan.” Shannon smiled softly and hurried up the stairs.
Dan watched her, and when she opened her door and disappeared into her room, his lips came down on Leah’s, hard but gentle. After a moment, he pulled away and stared into her eyes. “I don’t ever want to have to leave you again.”
Tears dripped down Leah’s cheeks, and she knew exactly what he meant. He’d been gone just shy of a week, but she’d missed him so much that she’d lain awake at nights. Now that she had a good glance at him, she realized he looked exhausted, haggard. Her cheeks were chafed from his unshaven face. “I’m so glad you’re back. I didn’t expect you so soon. What happened?”
He took her hand and pulled her outside. “Walk with me to the house. I brought a surprise back with me.”
What could he have brought her? Something for the wedding? A treasured family heirloom that he’d retrieved from his brother’s house? “How did you manage to finish everything so quickly?”
“I didn’t. Stanley is going to see to the selling of Aaron’s farm, then pay off the debts and split whatever income there may be between us and him and Louise.”
“So you had the funeral?”
He nodded as they walked down Bluebonnet Lane and turned onto Oak Street. “Louise had it all planned. I’d have missed it if I’d waited and taken the stage. People are buried quickly in these parts since it tends to be so hot here much of the year.”
Leah hugged his brawny arm. “I’m so glad you got to be there. I know that was important to you.”
Dan sobered. “Yeah, it was. Louise missed it, though.”
“She did? Why?”
“She’s been awful sick. She’s carrying, and the doctor suspects it may be twins. He’s making her stay off her feet until the babies are born.”
“Oh, that poor woman. I know all about twins. My ma had two sets of them.”
Dan patted her arm and then waved at Martha Phillips, who was sweeping off her front porch.
“Good to see you back. How’d your trip go?” The doctor’s wife tucked a wisp of hair back under her scarf.
“’Bout as I expected, all except for one thing.”
“Well, I suppose that’s good then.” Martha smiled and resumed her sweeping.
Dan leaned in close to Leah. “I reckon you and Martha will get to know each other better, being as she and the doc are our closest neighbors.”
“If we ever need the doctor in the middle of the night, at least we won’t have far to go.”
Dan chuckled. “That’s right, darlin’.”
A large wagon with two stock horses still hitched to it was parked in front of Dan’s house. It looked loaded to the top and more, but a well-secured canvas tarp prevented her from seeing inside. Maybe Dan had brought some of his brother’s furniture back with him. Leah almost rubbed her hands together in anticipation. The current furniture was frayed and scratched from years of use and could stand to be replaced. She redecorated the room in her mind. Would he let her repaint it or maybe even apply some wallpaper?
A loud crash sounded from inside the house, followed by a squeal. Leah jumped and her gaze dashed to Dan’s. “Sounds like someone left a pig in the house. You didn’t bring one back, did you?”
Dan chuckled again. “Not quite.”
The front door flew open as they walked up the porch steps. A young boy ran out the door and right into Dan’s legs. A dark-haired girl not much older, maybe eight or nine, chased after him.
“I told Ben to stay on the couch, Uncle Dan, but he didn’t mind. I’m gonna find a switch and tan his hide.” The girl stood with her hand on her hips, looking like a little mother.
Leah’s breakfast swirled in her stomach, and she watched in disbelief as two smaller children hurried out onto the porch. The youngest two huddled around their big sister, holding on to her skirt. Leah stepped back down the stairs, not wanting to accept what she was seeing. Her head suddenly started throbbing, and her heart sank into a deep, dark pit. This could not be happening to her. Wasn’t Dan’s sister supposed to keep the children?
“Where’s the baby?” Dan asked.
“I put her down on one of the beds since she was sleepin’,” the oldest girl answered.
Five children. Almost half as many as her mother had, and Leah wasn’t even married yet. How could Dan do this to her?
“Children, this is Leah. She’s the woman I told you about.” Dan smiled at her, but then his gaze faltered as he studied her face. “She’s…uh…the woman I’m marrying on Sunday.”
Leah gasped for breath. She could not—would not faint. Not in front of these children. It wasn’t their fault she didn’t want to be their mother—or anyone else’s. She took another step back.
Dan’s questioning gaze darted between her and the children. He lovingly caressed the oldest girl’s head. “This is Caroline, but we all call her Callie. She’s eight, and quite the little mother. Ben is next. He’s seven and loves horses. Then comes Ruthie, who is five.” The little girl leaned her head against her sister and gave Leah a shy wave. Dan picked up the towheaded toddler whose near-black eyes were as dark as his. The child laid his head on his uncle’s shoulder. “And this little fellow is Davy.”
Leah’s heart took another hit. Davy, just like her youngest sibling. Her Davy had barely been crawling when she left home in late spring, but he was probably close to walking by now.
“Maggie is the baby,” Callie said. “She’ll be one next month. Mama was gonna have a party.” The girl stared up at her uncle, her chin quivering. “We can have a party, can’t we?”
Dan nodded. “Of course we can, darlin’. I bet Leah would be happy to bake a cake for Maggie, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”
All five of them stared at Leah. She swallowed hard. Dan’s gaze begged her to say yes, but nothing could move past the lump in her throat. Tears stung her eyes. She stared at Dan and pleaded him to understand. “I–I’m sorry, but I c–can’t.”
Dan’s shocked gaze turned angry. “Callie, please take the children inside. I’ll be there in just a minute. There’s some crackers in a jar in the kitchen if you want a snack.”
Leah turned and fled back toward the boardinghouse. Thank goodness Martha Phillips had gone i
nside. Her shame covered her like a cloak, and she was grateful no one was there to see it. Keeping her head down, she walked as quickly as her skirts would allow. Fast footsteps pounded behind her, and Dan grabbed her arm, jerking her to a halt.
“Just hold on. What’s gotten into you? How could you be so cruel to those young’uns who just lost their parents?” Dan breathed out his nose, his nostrils flaring like an enraged horse. “It wouldn’t hurt you to bake them a cake. You’re a great cook.”
“You don’t understand.”
He forked his hand through his hair. “You’re darn right, I don’t. Care to explain?”
Leah broke from his gaze and stared between two houses at the river in the distance. She should have told him before now. She shook her head and gazed up, begging him with her eyes to understand. “I was the oldest of eleven children, Dan.”
“So? Lots of folks have big families.” He shoved his hands to his hips.
“I washed more laundry than I’ve made biscuits, and that’s got to be in the hundreds of thousands. I never got to do things with friends because I always had to hurry home after school or church to help Ma. I never had a room or even a bed to myself. I’ve never had a life of my own. I left home so that I could.”
“So? What’s that got to do with these kids?”
Leah closed her burning eyes. Help him to understand, Lord.
She reached out and caressed his cheek. His eyes closed, and he leaned into her touch. “I love you, Dan, and I desperately want to marry you, but I don’t want children.”
His mouth dropped open, and he stared with disbelief. He blinked his eyes several times as if trying to grasp what she said. “How can that be? All women want children. It’s what God made them for.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“Well, it’s too late for regrets. We have five of them.” Leah shook her head. “Not me. You have five of them. I’m sorry, Dan. I just can’t raise another passel of children. You should have left them with your sister.” She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm again.
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