Reawaken His Heart

by KL Myers

  After a long, hot shower, Braedyn says, “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we go visit my family and have lunch with them?” I haven’t met his family yet, even though we’ve been together for over five months. So of course, I’m not sure what brought this on. I start to second-guess it, but then stop and just decide to go with the flow. “Sure, I’d love to. You do realize that it is already noon though, right?” A heavy sigh leaves his lips. “I guess we should get going then.”

  As I am getting dressed, I hear him call his mom to confirm she will be around and see if she would like to have lunch. “Love you too, Mom. See you in a bit.” Then he drops the phone on the bed. “You about ready, buttercup?” I pop my head out of the bathroom and ask, “What’s with all the cutesy names you keep throwing at me.?”

  “Just trying to find the one that fits best,” is his response.

  We drive for an hour to get to his parents’ house, and by the time we arrive, I am extremely nervous. I’m not quite sure what to expect. Will they like me? What do I call them? I don’t even know their names. Calling them Mr. and Mrs. Ellington seems a little formal, but then maybe they expect me to call them by their last name. “Brae, what are your parents’ names?”

  “My mom’s name is Bridgette, and my dad’s is Peter. Don’t worry, Ry, they will love you and won’t care what you call them.” A smile crosses my face, and I am feeling a little better about meeting them. When we pull up, Braedyn gets out of the truck and comes to my side to open my door. We walk hand and hand to the front door, but before we can get around to knocking, the door opens and a petite, round woman grabs Brae by the waist and hugs him. “It’s so good to see you, son.” Brae hugs his mom back then places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me into the house. “Mom, this is Rylee. I meant to get over here sooner and introduce you, but things have been a little crazy.” I reach out my hand to say hello, but before I can say a word, her arms are around me, hugging me tightly. She pulls back after a minute and says, “Call me Gidget. That’s what our friends and family call me, and since you, dear, are almost a part of this family, it’s the name you should use.”

  I can tell that Brea is very close to his mother and they have a very open relationship, which is something I wish I had with my parents, but unfortunately, it isn’t that way.

  I am in my only little world, so I don’t hear the escalated voices coming from Braedyn and his mom. “Mom, I haven’t seen Gauge since he went to prison, and frankly, I don’t have any desire to see him. He became a disgrace to our family when he was arrested seven years ago. What do you expect from me? To welcome him home with open arms?” He sighs and throws his arms up in the air. “He is your brother, Braedyn, and he’ll be home in a couple of days, so yes, I want you to greet him with open arms,” Gidget exclaims. “I don’t see that happening, Mom,” Braedyn replies. “What am I supposed to say? Hi, G, it’s nice to see you? Remember me? I’m the good brother and you’re the piece of shit one, but hey, how about us getting together and going to a Cardinals game? Really, Mom, is that how you see this playing out in your mind?”

  Gidget shrugs and shakes her head. “No, Braedyn. I don’t know what I expect, but I do think it would be good for you to get to know your brother. He is family and family sticks together regardless.”

  “Mom, he was part of a gang, a biker gang at that. He was into drugs, and he disgraced the police force by leaving them to become part of that gang. That shit never leaves you behind. I don’t care how long he has been in prison. They will come looking for him when he gets out, and then what?” I can tell Braedyn is getting more and more upset as this conversation goes on. “I don’t want to be around him at all, Mom, and I don’t want Rylee around him. Just let it go, please.”

  I can see the hurt in Gidget’s face. “Braedyn, he’s changed. I know you don’t believe me, but he has. He has done his time and now he just wants to settle down somewhere quiet and move on with his life. He has no desires to hook back up with his old friends. I want you to give him a chance, please.”

  I reach out and touch Brae’s hand and give it a squeeze, letting him know I am here for him and all will be OK. “We’ll see, Mom. I have to go.” He kisses his mom on the cheek, and we make our way through the house. Once outside, I wrap my arms around his waist and say, “I know just what will make you feel a lot better.” Then I wink and run for the truck. I hear the biggest laugh come out of his chest, followed by, “I’m sure you do, my little sex kitten.” I don’t think I will ever get used to all these little names he keeps throwing at me.

  Braedyn

  MY MIND ISN’T ON the drive home. I keep thinking about what my mom said about my brother, Gauge. He’s done things that go against everything I believe is right. I’m not sure I want Rylee to meet my brother. Gauge is so different than Jaxson, and Rylee is so close with her brother. She won’t understand what it is like to not want to spend time together. I haven’t met Jaxson yet, but I have talked to him on the phone several times. He is the kind of brother I wish I had growing up. Jaxon is always there for Rylee when she needs a logical voice other than mine to set her straight. He’s her rock, her true north, and they share an amazing bond.

  Inviting Gauge into my life is like opening my house to the devil, I’m sure of it. The last thing I want to do is put Rylee in any potential situation that could cause her harm. I may not know the man Gauge has become, but I remember the boy he was and all the grief he caused my parents. It is not something I want in my life right now when everything is going so well.

  My mind is running all over the place. I’m envisioning Gauge coming to my home to visit me, with one of his old cronies following him; then a fight breaks out and guns are drawn, and Rylee takes a bullet in the crossfire. Better yet, I can see someone wanting to get back a Gauge by hurting her or me. I know these scenarios are all a bit dramatic, but I’ve lost one woman in my life. I don’t want to lose another. So the only way to keep my sanity is to not be involved with my brother. My mother will probably be upset with me, but she will get over it eventually.

  I’m not rational when it comes to Rylee, and the reality is, it has everything to do with my insecurities about being alone again. Imagining anything hurting her or taking her away from me frightens me to no end.

  She must know something is wrong, because she reaches over and grabs my hand. “What’s wrong, babe? I see the wheels turning in your head.”

  I’m not sure I want to admit to her what I was thinking, but then I remember that I’ve asked her to endure my lifestyle of being a firefighter, and she has openly done so with only one request, which was honesty. So I tell her everything that is going through my mind. All the scenarios I have just played through.

  Rylee unbuckles her seatbelt and leans over, places her hand at the base of my neck, and then kisses my cheek. “Thank you, Braedyn, for always thinking about me and worrying, but do you remember when you said we have to live each day for what it is? You asked me not to worry about you or things I can’t control, and I have. Quite frankly, I’ve done pretty well if you ask me. So now I’m giving you the same advice.” She breathes in and out a few times and then finishes. “You can’t shelter me away from anything you feel could be dangerous. You don’t even know what to expect when your brother is released, but whatever it is, we will work through this together. We are a team, you and I, so stop worrying, please, and just let us take one day at a time.”

  She always knows just what to say to put my mind at ease. I’m not sure if it’s the comforting tone of her voice or the tenderness in her eyes, but whatever it is, I know I want to be surrounded by it always. “I love you, Rylee.”

  Rylee

  I never get tired of hearing Braedyn tell me he loves me. I haven’t said it back yet, because I’m afraid to, so I immediately change the subject. “Hey, I forgot to ask you. How was your shift?”

  The shift in Braedyn’s demeanor the minute I ask him tells me something bad happened, and I immediately regret asking. “I had a bad one
, Rylee,” Brae tells me. “We were called out to a home where a young boy hung himself.” I can feel the grief in his voice. “The parents found him in his room. When we got there, the boy was no longer breathing.” He pauses for a moment. “We should have called it DOA, but if there is the slightest chance that we can revive someone, we will intervene and call for transport. When I saw the hurt and desperation in the parents’ eyes, I knew they were hoping against all hope I’d perform a miracle and bring their baby back to life.” I sit back and listen to him finish. “I did the only thing I could and attempted to resuscitate him. I was going through the motions, Rylee. I knew it wouldn’t work, but maybe it would provide a small level of comfort to the parents when the hospital officially had to tell them their son was DOA.”

  It breaks my heart knowing that my man sees tragedy more often than happiness when he is at work. I can’t believe how strong he is to have suffered through losing his wife and dealing with loss on a daily basis, yet is still so open to loving me the way he does and putting himself out there again. A lesser man would crumble under the weight of everything on his shoulders on a daily basis, and I know it takes a special person to endure this profession. He is it for me. I know this with all my heart.

  For the first time in a long time, I am at a loss for words. “Brae, I'm so sorry, I can’t imagine what that felt like.” My words seem hollow.

  I decide to change the subject for the second time as he pulls into the driveway and puts the truck in park. Opening the door and running toward the house, I yell, “I have an idea. Want to hear it?” Braedyn raises one eyebrow at me and then takes off after me. I can tell I’ve got his full attention. I start to pull off my clothes as I run through the house, leaving a trail for him to follow as I make my way to the stairs. I know what he needs, and I’m not going to let him down. I’m watching him struggle to get up the stairs while he pulls his shirt over his head.

  I quickly finish undressing and lie on the bed, facing the door with my legs spread open. My fingers are playing with my pussy. My eyes are closed, but I know the minute he walks into the room by the sound he makes when he sucks air into his lungs. “Damn, baby, you look so hot just lying there.” I rise up onto my elbows and smile at him. He quickly walks to the side of the bed, lowering his hand down to squeeze my breast while running his thumb over my sensitive nipple. I shudder and moan, “Oh god, yes.” He drops his hand from my breast to run his thumb over my clit. That simple touch gets me closer to falling over the edge.

  “I think I like this idea of yours,” he laughs. Then his fingers begin to fuck me with urgency. His thumb moves over my clit, sending tingles up my body. I buck up off the mattress, moaning and gasping for breath with every thrust inside me. I throw my head back and groan as my orgasm explodes within me and my juices cover his fingers. I will never get enough of his touch. I sit up and reach for him, grabbing at his jeans and lowering the zipper. Then I slide them down his legs, exposing the most impressive cock standing at attention for me. When I can’t get them any further down, I pull him onto the bed. “Lie back.” I straddle him, kissing down his chest as I make my way off the bed. Once I stand, I grab the pant legs and pull his jeans off the rest of the way. Running my hands up his thighs, I lower myself to the floor and slowly lick the underside of his cock. I can tell he is wild for my touch, and it’s exciting me. I move onto the bed and straddle his waist again. Leaning forward, I place kisses on his face and neck. I feel his hands grab me at the waist and lift me then slowly, he lowers me down on his tip and thrusts up, pushing himself all the way inside of me. We both moan at the wonderful feeling of our combined sexes. I rock slowly against him, making each stroke count. When I rock forward, I kiss his nipple, and when I rock back, I take it between my teeth, pulling at it. Within minutes, he is holding my hips still as he pumps into me hard and fast. “Come with me, baby, please.” He doesn’t have to ask; it’s all I want. As my walls tighten around his cock, drawing every bit of energy from him, we both burst into the best orgasm there is.

  Braedyn

  IT WAS A SLOW day at work. I went out on three calls today, each one an elderly person who couldn’t seem to figure out how to change the batteries in their smoke alarm. Who would have thought that going to someone’s house to change out batteries would be part of my duties? It is, and it is frustrating as hell. I hate days like this, because they drag on and on. I thrive for the rush, that feeling of adrenaline going through my whole body when that bell goes off. When I hear it, I know I have one minute to get dressed in my turnouts, jump in the truck, and five minutes until we make it to the location. It’s then when I shut it all down and focus on what I need to do. I trained for this, certified myself in hazardous materials, water rescues, and became a full paramedic. I wanted to be sure that whatever the situation, I was fully prepared to handle anything. I know my days in the action are limited, hell, the average lifespan of a firefighter is ten years, so if I make it past those ten years, I’ll be lucky. I never thought much about it until now. After Brooklynn, I never saw myself ever getting into a relationship with anyone. So I took the risks without remorse, but now here I am with this amazing woman, and I’m thinking about how lucky I am and how hard it is to be away from her.

  I roll out my sleeping bag and place it on the bed. My head hits the pillow, and I’m headed toward dreamland with images of my girl naked and straddling me. She’s riding me like she’s a saddle bronc rider, waiting for that buzzer to go off so she can let go and fly.

  I’m quickly pulled out of my dream when I hear the bell go off in the station, telling me my dream is over and it’s time to get my ass out of bed. We’ve got a call.

  I hear it plain as day. A three-alarm fire. The whole house makes their way out the door toward to a warehouse a couple of miles down the road. When we arrive, I get up on the roof with Scott. It’s our job to provide ventilation. This improves conditions inside the building and reduces the chance of a flashover or backdraft. I’m making my way across the roof to cut another hole when I feel the roof start to give way under my feet. “Fuck!” I yell as the roof buckles under my feet, but before I know it, I’m falling through. I hear Scott yelling, “Braedyn, goddamn it!” and can see him sprinting toward me, but I know he is too late and what comes next isn’t going to be pretty. When I land on the floor, my breath is knocked completely out of me. “Braedyn, can you hear me?” Scott calls down to me. “Hold on, brother. We’ll get you out of there.” I’m lying there in pain, thinking about Rylee and how she will feel if I don’t make it out of here alive. I can tell my leg is broken and possibly my arm. I'm scared for the first time in a long time. “Brother!” Scott yells down to me. “Hold on! Charlie is on his way in for you!” Those are the last words I hear before the world goes dark.

  I wake up in the hospital days later, thankful to be alive. The casts and bandages I can see and feel tell me I have a broken leg, some broken ribs, and a broken arm. I’m thankful, because it could have been so much worse. Rylee is at my side holding my hand. Her head is on the bed next to my leg. Her eyes are closed. She looks tired, and I want to let her sleep, so I do.

  As I’m lying there, I know I’ve cheated death, which is all that matters. I can’t think about the what-ifs. I have to stay focused. I know that when Rylee wakes up, we are going to have the talk I’ve been dreading for a long time. Here’s the thing. I need her to understand that every time I walk out that door, there is always a potential that I won’t be coming back. I need to know she can handle that and be strong, because if she can’t do it, this thing between us will never work. When I walk out that door, my mind needs to be focused on my job and not worrying about if or when she is going to panic if something goes wrong. It takes a special kind of woman to love a firefighter. A strong woman who is fearless, loving, and devoted. I don’t ever need to second-guess if I have that with her, and right now, it’s time to test her resolve.

  I move the slightest bit, and extreme pain shoots through me, causing me to cry out, which
wakes up Rylee. “Braedyn,” she gasps, “Are you OK? Let me call the nurse.” She pushes the button on my remote, and within minutes, a nurse I don’t recognize walks through the door. “Nice to see you have finally decided to join us, Mr. Ellington.” She smiles. “How are you feeling? I bet you would like something for the pain, but first, let me check your vitals and call the doctor.” I know the drill, so I just lie back and let her do her thing, taking advantage of the few stolen moments Rylee and I have before a rush of medical staff comes in.

  “Where are my parents?” I ask Rylee, who replies, “They are in the cafeteria grabbing a bite to eat.” There is a look of concern on her face I haven’t ever seen before. “Rylee, what's wrong?” Her eyes immediately go wide, and her hand goes to her mouth. “Brae, I’ll go get your parents. But there is something you need to know first.” A look of horror crosses her face. “I’m not sure how to say this, because I know you are going to be angry, but please, just let it slide. We can deal with it together later.” The hackles on the back of my neck stand up. “What’s going on, Rylee? Tell me now.” My voice is commanding, and I can see it puts her on the defensive. “Your brother is with them.” That is all she needs to say before every cuss word known to man leaves my mouth. “What are they thinking? Bringing him here knowing how I feel about him?” Rylee places her hand on mine and squeezes lightly. “Babe, just calm down and relax, please. You getting all worked up isn’t going to help anything.” Just as she begins to continue talking, the door opens and my mom and dad walk in, followed by Gauge. “GET OUT!” I yell at my parents. My mom freezes mid-step, and then I hear Gauge say, “I will wait outside.”