by E. A. West
****
Tuesday evening, as Danny and Cindy made the trek to the student center for the student veterans’ group meeting, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket with a sigh.
“There are days I wish I’d never gotten this thing.” He flipped the phone open and pressed a button before lifting it to his ear. “Hello?”
Although Cindy tried not to listen, she couldn’t avoid hearing the conversation with his caseworker about a variety of things, including counseling. Apparently, Alan had arranged for Danny to see someone outside of the Veterans Affairs Clinic.
They arrived at the student center and stopped outside, since the building had a habit of eating cell phone signals.
“Hold on.” Danny lowered the phone and turned to Cindy. “Alan wants to know if you want to talk to him.”
She’d avoided calling him for the last two weeks. After all the things Danny had told her, however, talking to his caseworker couldn’t hurt. At least the man would know she cared about Danny.
“Sure, I’ll talk to him.” She accepted the phone. “Hello?”
The voice of an older man came through the device. “Hi, Cindy, I’m Alan Michaels. How are you today?”
“Just fine.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Danny tells me he’s been talking to you about some of his experiences during deployment.”
“That’s right.” She knew Danny was listening to every word she said and wondered if he’d want to talk about it later. “He’s been through a lot.”
“Yes, unfortunately he has,” Alan said. “But he’s getting help dealing with it. Now, what I’m wondering is how you’re handling everything he’s told you. Few people can handle hearing about such traumatic experiences in great detail and not have it affect them. I’ve talked to many family members struggling to deal with what their loved one has said.”
Cindy weighed honesty against protecting Danny’s feelings. He’d dealt with the occasional bout of guilt for what he saw as burdening her with his memories. The few times he’d seen tears of sympathy in her eyes, he’d worried about giving her some of the same problems he had. But she doubted censoring herself for fear of his reaction would do him any favors. “I’m okay. Yes, it’s hard sometimes to hear what he went through, but I’ll gladly listen to it all day, every day if that’s what it takes to help him deal with everything.”
“He’s lucky to have someone so supportive. And now, since Danny’s probably listening to everything you say, which is probably causing you to refrain from saying some things, I’m going to make you an offer. If you ever need to talk about something he tells you that bothers you or you’re worried about him for one reason or another, feel free to call me. If he does something that scares you, call me. Officially, I’m here to help Danny, but he’s told me how much you mean to him. That means in order to fully help him, I need to make sure you’re okay, too. Otherwise, he’s going to worry about you, and that won’t do him any good. So, if you ever need to talk, give me a call. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said as Josh, Alex, and Lacey joined them.
“Why don’t I give you a number where you can reach me at any time, day or night. I’m pretty sure Danny would give it to you if you asked, but this way I’ll know for a fact that you have it.”
“Let me find something to write with.” She lowered the phone. “Hey, Lacey, do you have a pen?”
“Sure, just a second.” She dug around in her purse for a moment and held out a ballpoint pen. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Cindy took the pen and tucked the phone between her ear and her shoulder so she could write on her hand. “Okay, what’s the number?”
She copied it onto the back of her hand, and then she passed the phone back to Danny. He walked away, giving himself privacy for the end of the call, and Cindy returned Lacey’s pen. “Thanks. I would need a pen the one time I don’t have one on me.”
Lacey laughed as she tucked the pen into her purse. “Isn’t that the way it always goes?”
Alex studied Cindy and raised his eyebrows. “You’re getting phone numbers from Danny’s friends?”
“Yeah, I might need it someday, but I doubt it,” she said as Danny rejoined them.
“What do you mean?” Josh asked.
“It’s Alan’s number.” Danny put his arm around Cindy’s shoulders and kissed her cheek. “He told me why he gave it to you. If you need to call him, do it. That’s what he’s there for.”
Lacey studied her. “You’re talking to Danny’s caseworker?”
“Today is the first time I’ve talked to him.” She shrugged, trying to downplay what felt like a huge leap forward in her relationship with Danny. “He wanted me to have a way to get hold of him just in case.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Lacey said.
The topic stopped there, and the group headed into the student union. Although Cindy doubted she’d ever need to call Alan, it was nice to know how to reach him if she did. Danny had been doing a lot better in the last few days and seemed happier than she’d ever seen him. Apparently, his decision to finally open up to her helped him as much as it did her. Her biggest concern now was how he’d handle midterms next week. So far, he didn’t seem concerned about them at all; she could only hope they wouldn’t stress him out too much when they arrived.
Chapter Sixteen
Saturday afternoon, Cindy and Danny met Lacey, Alex, and Josh for a game of miniature golf. The unseasonably warm weather made jackets unnecessary, and the bright sunshine had everyone upbeat. Danny was in a great mood, and Cindy couldn’t tell he’d ever had any kind of problems. He was just as happy as Josh or Alex. Even the midterms beginning Monday didn’t seem to dampen his enjoyment of the day.
She wished her parents could see him. They worried about her dating a man with PTSD, but they claimed to understand her choice. She and Danny had gone to her parents’ house a few times, giving them a chance to get to know him. They’d seen his gentleness with her firsthand and finally accepted that he wasn’t even remotely abusive to her. She’d gotten to know Danny’s parents a little better as well, and it looked like they were ready to admit she wasn’t going to do irreparable damage to their son.
“Hey, Cindy, it’s your turn,” Danny said, indicating the empty course.
She stepped up to the tee and held up her hot pink ball. “Do you think I can get a hole in one?”
Josh shook his head. “After the last three holes, I’d say you’ll be lucky to get a hole in five, and this is a par three hole.”
She raised her eyebrows as Danny turned to scan the parking lot. “Are you saying I’m a bad miniature golfer?”
“Yeah, something like that,” Josh said to a chorus of laughter.
“Just for that, I’ll prove you wrong.”
She dropped her ball onto the mat and positioned it with her foot as the others teased her about her lack of putting ability. As she drew back her putter, she caught movement in her peripheral vision. Danny leaped toward her; the force of his body slamming into hers knocked the putter from her hands. She landed hard on the fake grass, narrowly missing the raised barrier around the course. His weight crushed her, and she struggled to breathe.
“Danny, get off!”
He lifted some of his weight and met her gaze with haunted eyes. “That bomb could go off any second.”
A bolt of fear shot through her. He must be having another flashback. “There is no bomb.”
Josh knelt beside them. “She’s right, man. It’s safe to let her up.”
Cindy prayed for Danny as he stared at Josh. “It’s clear?”
“It’s clear. All ordnance has been removed.”
Danny rolled off Cindy, and she released a relieved breath and a prayer of thanks; the flashback was over. He scanned her length, and then helped her sit up. “You okay?”
She didn’t think telling him how much getting tackled hurt was a good idea right at the moment. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
He started to stand, but
suddenly, he ducked and shoved her to the ground. Her wrist hit the aluminum barrier with a loud clang, sending pain shooting up her arm as Danny shoved Josh down as well.
“Sniper! Stay down!”
Alex came over and knelt beside Danny as Josh moved to Cindy’s side. She cradled her left arm and bit her lip in a futile attempt to keep from crying. The flashback hadn’t ended; it had just changed course. As Alex tried to talk Danny down, Josh reached for her elbow.
“Let me take a look,” he said, his voice as gentle as his hands.
She surrendered her arm and glanced at Danny, moisture blurring her vision as she realized he continued to be lost in the past. “What’s wrong with him? Why isn’t he coming out of it?”
“I don’t know. Does this hurt?”
She let out a yelp at his feather-light touch. Danny’s head whipped around, concern shining in his eyes. He looked at Alex. “They didn’t get them all.”
Alex put a hand on his shoulder. “They’ll get him.”
Danny shook his head and scanned the parking lot. “I see him!”
He jumped up, and Alex tried to restrain him. “Sarge, let him go! They’ll get him.”
Danny escaped Alex’s grasp and took off across the parking lot, an invisible rifle in his hands. Alex ran after him, calling for him to stop. How had such a wonderful afternoon gone so wrong? Oh, Lord, bring him back to reality. Keep him safe. Cindy sat up as sirens approached, and Danny disappeared around the corner of the shopping center on the far side of the parking lot with Alex close behind.
Lacey knelt beside her with Josh’s help. “Sweetie, are you okay?”
Josh shook his head and answered for Cindy. “I think he broke her wrist.”
Lacey wrapped Cindy in a hug and spoke in a whisper. “I’m so sorry. It probably doesn’t help much, but he honestly thought you were in danger. He was trying to save your life, not hurt you.”
“I know,” Cindy said, her tears falling unchecked. “I just want him to be okay.”
Josh put his hand on her back as a pair of police cars pulled up. “We’ll make sure he gets the help he needs.”
She let Josh and Lacey explain the situation to the police and only answered questions when necessary. Her heart broke as she watched the officers exchange suspicious glances. Couldn’t they understand that Danny honestly believed he’d saved her life? Or at least pretend to be sympathetic to her concern for her boyfriend and the fact that he’d likely be depressed when he came back to the present and realized what he’d done. She’d just turned down the offer of an ambulance when Alex returned.
“Where is he?” Josh asked.
“I lost him in a residential area a few blocks from here.” Alex sighed, his eyebrows drawn together in worry. “He’s still out of it.”
The officers stood a little straighter, and one made a note as the other spoke. “Is he dangerous?”
“I don’t know,” Alex said. “I don’t think so, but he’s never broken with reality this long in the time I’ve known him.”
“He’s not dangerous when he’s not having a flashback,” Josh said. “As soon as he comes out of it, he’ll be fine.”
The officers exchanged another glance. “What is he likely to do until then?”
“It’s hard to say.” Josh sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
The police tried again to get Cindy to press charges against Danny, but she refused. He needed psychiatric help, not jail time.
After the officers took Alex’s statement, they promised to keep an eye out for Danny. They also assured Cindy they’d see he got the help he needed if they found him. She had her doubts about how well they’d carry out that promise. They seemed too eager to write him off as just another abusive boyfriend.
Once they left, Alex went to return the putters and balls. Josh ran out to his car and returned with an olive green satchel slung over his shoulder.
“Sit down and I’ll splint your wrist.”
He helped her sit on a curb and knelt beside her, opening the bag. He withdrew a plastic and Velcro splint, which he strapped to her arm, immobilizing her wrist. Then he dug out a chemical ice pack and positioned it on her wrist. After he helped her stand, he lifted her arm so it was braced diagonally across her chest. “Hold the ice pack in place and don’t try to move your wrist.”
Cindy nodded and cradled her arm as he instructed.
Lacey put an arm around her shoulders. “Do you want Alex or Josh to drive you to the emergency room? I’d take you, but I can’t drive. Doctor’s orders.”
“I don’t know.” Tears filled Cindy’s eyes. “What I really want is to find Danny and make sure he’s okay. Knowing he’s out there fighting enemies that aren’t real scares me.”
Lacey gave her a hug. “It scares all of us, but you have to take care of yourself so you can help him when he shows up.”
“Okay,” Josh said as Alex rejoined them, “here’s what we’ll do. Cindy, I’ll take you to the emergency room. Lacey, you and Alex can go look for Danny.”
“That makes the most sense. I’m the last one to see him.” Alex put a hand on Cindy’s shoulder, his serious gaze tinged with sympathy. “We’ll do our best to find him, but you have to remember that experience taught him to avoid capture. That means we probably won’t see him unless he wants to be found.”
She nodded, emotion choking off her voice. Danny had told her enough for her to realize he’d had some pretty harrowing experiences and close calls. As a result, he’d worked to develop the ability to disappear in an urban setting, which had kept him alive in Afghanistan and Iraq but would make him nearly impossible to find now.
Alex and Lacey headed for his car, and Josh guided Cindy to his. Once they were on the road, Josh glanced at her. “Do you want to call your parents and have them meet you at the hospital?”
Cindy briefly considered the idea then shook her head. “Not really. I don’t want to deal with whatever kind of reaction they’ll have to my wrist getting broken because of Danny. They’re paranoid enough already.”
“Okay. Do you know Alan’s number? Since Danny’s likely to get picked up by the police, it might be a good idea to let him know what’s going on.”
“I don’t remember it, but it’s written down in my room.” Why hadn’t she gone ahead and put it into her cell phone? Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them away. “What am I going to tell Danny’s parents? They need to know, but I don’t know if I can explain it to them.”
Josh reached over and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll call them once I get you checked in at the ER.”
“Thanks.”
She stared out the window, hoping to see Danny and knowing she wouldn’t. He’d run in the opposite direction from where they were heading. She prayed he’d come out of his flashback soon and go back to campus. If he had his cell phone on him, she’d give him a call to see if that would bring him back to reality, but he’d forgotten to charge it, so he had left it in his room when they left campus.
As soon as Cindy was settled in a hard plastic chair in the busy waiting room of the emergency department, Josh went to call Danny’s parents. Every time the glass doors swooshed open, she kept hoping to see Danny, but it was always a stranger. Her concern for him grew stronger with every passing moment, and her need for her mother to assure her everything would be okay overrode her fear of her parents’ reaction.
She took her cell phone to the entrance to find a better signal and dialed her home number. As soon as her father heard where she was, he promised to get her mother and be right there. Cindy had just returned her phone to her pocket when Josh joined her.
“You okay?” he asked gently.
She shrugged, determined not to cry again. “I’m not sure it’s possible to be okay right now. I called my parents. They’re going to meet me here.”
“Do you want me to stay here with you until they arrive?”
“Please. I may need your help to keep them from trying to convi
nce me to press charges against Danny.” Just the thought of explaining how she got injured brought fresh tears as she met Josh’s gaze. “They’ve been so afraid he’d hurt me, because I had an abusive boyfriend when I was younger. I don’t know how I can convince them what happened today was an accident.”
He put his arm around her shoulders and guided her to the chairs. “I’ll help you talk to them. Danny’s parents are going to get hold of his caseworker and explain the situation. That’s one less thing you have to worry about.”
“Okay.” She adjusted her ice pack and wished the nurse would call her name. She wanted to get out of here and go back to her dorm in case Danny showed up.
“I called Corbin and told him what’s going on. He and Monique will make sure the rest of the veterans’ group knows to keep an eye out for Danny.” Josh sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. “Cindy, I hate to say it, but if you’re going to stay with Danny, this is something you’ll probably always have to deal with. He might not always get this bad, but he’s got a lot of problems.”
She drew in a shaky breath. “He’s been talking to me about some of the stuff he went through. I totally understand why he’s having problems now. I’m sure it won’t be easy to deal with or to know how to help him, but I care about him. A lot.”
Josh’s smile didn’t cover the concern in his gaze. “He’s lucky to have you. A lot of guys don’t have such an understanding girlfriend.”
She might be an understanding girlfriend, but she was worried about Danny. The pain in her wrist didn’t help. Just thinking about what Danny might do without even realizing it was terrifying. Not many people would be willing to let him go without filing charges against him, and she knew jail would do more harm to him than had already been done. The only thing he needed right now was psychiatric treatment and the support of his friends and family.
The urge to pray filled her, and she bowed her head, allowing her fears and worry to flow from her heart. God would listen, and He knew where Danny was right now. Until Danny showed up, God was the only one who could help him.