by E. A. West
Corbin and Monique arrived and greeted Cindy with hugs. Josh and Corbin walked a few feet away to talk, but Monique took the chair beside Cindy. “How are you holding up?”
“The best I can under the circumstances.” She took the ice pack off her numb wrist, revealing more of the splint, and her eyes flooded at the evidence this nightmare was real. “I am so scared for Danny.”
Monique wrapped her in a hug. “Oh, honey, he’ll turn up eventually, and when he does, we can all make sure he gets the help he needs. For now, you worry about taking care of yourself so you can be there for him.”
Cindy nodded and dried her eyes as Monique sat back. “Did you ever go through anything like this with Corbin?”
“Not exactly.” She glanced toward her husband. “He didn’t suffer from flashbacks, but he was depressed for a while right after he came home from the hospital. He also had some pretty severe mood swings. The nightmares were the worst, though. He’d wake up terrified in the middle of the night, and there was nothing I could do except hold him and assure him everything was okay. Some nights, he couldn’t sleep at all because the memories weighed too heavily on him.” She turned back to Cindy, her eyes filled to the brim. “It’s not always an easy thing to love a man who’s been to war. And you and I have the misfortune of loving men who have been through some terrible things that will haunt them forever.”
Cindy nodded, her attention on the entrance. Her parents stepped through the glass doors, their expressions worried as they scanned the room.
“My parents are here.” She rose from her chair, and Monique stood with her as Ellen and Peter hurried over.
Ellen took one look at the splint on Cindy’s wrist and paled. “What happened?”
“There was a bit of an accident…” She glanced at Josh and Corbin as they rejoined the group. Oh, how she wished she could let them explain it. But her parents needed to hear it from her, regardless of how much she dreaded telling them. “Um, Danny thought there was a sniper and shoved me down to save me. My wrist hit a metal barrier around the miniature golf course.”
Peter’s features darkened. “Your boyfriend did this to you?”
“Dad, it’s not like that.” Cindy fought back another round of tears. “It was an accident.”
“Cindy, when the man you’re dating hurts you, especially badly enough that you need medical attention, it’s not an accident.”
Josh moved to her side. “Mr. Waymire, Danny didn’t mean to hurt her. He thought he was protecting her.”
Peter looked far from thrilled as he sized him up. “And you are?”
“Josh Teague, president of the Whitcomb University student veterans’ group and a good friend of both Cindy and Danny. I was there when Danny’s flashback started. He honestly believed your daughter’s life was in danger. He shoved her down to protect her. He shoved me down, too. I just happened to be farther away from the barriers than Cindy.”
Peter opened his mouth, but a nurse’s voice interrupted. “Cindy Waymire?”
She glanced at the nurse then returned her gaze to her father. “Dad, talk to Josh about your concerns. He can probably do a better job of helping you understand what happened than I can.”
Peter looked reluctant, but he agreed. Cindy asked Monique to tag along as she went back with her mother. She needed all the moral support she could get, and she figured Monique might be able to help her mom see that Danny hadn’t intentionally hurt her.
After the nurse left the cubicle, Cindy turned her attention to her mother, praying for the words she needed. “Mom, you’ve met Danny. You know he would never hurt me on purpose.”
Ellen sighed. “I’d like to believe that, honey, but look at your wrist. I can’t ignore that.”
“I’m not asking you to!” Cindy blew out an exasperated breath. Taking her frustration out on her mother would only make things worse, so she fought to keep her voice calm as she continued. “All I want you to do is try to understand what happened. Danny had a flashback and thought he was saving me from getting shot. He tried to save my life. My getting hurt was a total accident.”
“Cindy, if this is the result of dating him, regardless of whether it was accidental, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to keep seeing him.” Ellen wrapped her in a hug. “I know you care about him, but I’m afraid continuing your relationship with him is dangerous.”
Cindy pulled away. Talking to her mother right now was about as productive as beating her head on a brick wall. “Mom, you’re not even trying to understand.”
Monique spoke up from her place in the corner. “Mrs. Waymire, Danny cares about Cindy a great deal and wants to protect her. When he finds out she got hurt, he’s going to feel terrible.”
Suspicion clouded Ellen’s eyes. “What do you mean ‘when he finds out’? He’s responsible for my daughter needing x-rays.”
“When Danny has flashbacks, he doesn’t have any connection with reality. What he sees is something that happened while he was deployed. Right now, he has no idea that he had anything to do with Cindy getting hurt. He may not even realize she was the one he shoved down to protect from sniper fire.”
“And how do you know all of this?”
“I’ve known Danny for nearly a year,” Monique said. “I’ve seen him have flashbacks, and I’ve seen what it does to him to find out afterward what he did. There was one time he thought my son was about to pick up some kind of unexploded ordnance. To keep Delario safe, Danny pulled him away from the toy truck he thought would explode. It scared the daylights out of my son, but he understood when we explained that Danny’s mind is sick. When Danny found out he’d scared Delario, he felt so terrible about it. It took a lot of talking with me and my husband to convince him that Delario was okay and wasn’t scared of him.”
Monique took Ellen’s hand. “Mrs. Waymire, Danny is actually very gentle. He’s just been through so much that he still hasn’t fully dealt with. The flashbacks and his other problems are his mind screaming out for help. He’s getting that help, but it’s going to take a long time for him to recover. In the meantime, he needs his friends and family to stay supportive, even when accidents happen, like Cindy getting hurt.”
Cindy watched her mother closely and prayed Monique’s words were getting through. Hopefully, her mother would understand enough to quit worrying that Danny was some kind of dangerous monster.
The doctor arrived and briefly examined Cindy’s wrist before ordering x-rays. Monique and Ellen stayed in the cubicle when Cindy went to radiology. Her heart kept up a constant stream of prayers that Monique would be able to help her mother understand why she still wanted to be with Danny, even though she likely had a broken wrist, and that Josh and Corbin were helping her father understand it.
When she returned to the cubicle, she found her mother and Monique with red-rimmed eyes and a box of tissues between them. Ellen gave Cindy a hug. “Honey, I’m sorry for what I said before. I’m still going to worry about you because you’re my daughter, but I can see how much you and Danny care about each other.”
Cindy put her uninjured arm around her mother, tears of relief filling her eyes. “I’m so glad you can see that. I do care about him, deeply, and I’m worried about him.”
“I know, honey,” Ellen said, holding her tightly. “Just remember that your father and I are here for you. I’m not sure what we can do, but we’ll do our best to help both you and Danny get through this.”
“We still have to find Danny before we can do anything to help him.” Cindy closed her eyes against the pain in her heart. “Mom, I’m scared for him.”
Monique quietly slipped out as Ellen provided what comfort she could. Cindy wished she could go back to the days of being a little girl when her mother could fix anything. Those days were safe and certain. Now, she had to face the cold, hard truths of reality and realize nothing was certain. Especially not with a man like Danny.
****
A couple of hours later, Cindy received her discharge papers. The docto
r had splinted her arm and wrapped it in several layers of elastic bandages. She had an appointment to see an orthopedic surgeon Monday to get a cast. Not her idea of a great way to start a week of midterms. She walked to the waiting room with her mother on one side and Monique on the other, glad they supported her decision to stick with Danny. Both women had promised to talk to Peter if he was still as angry as he had been, but Cindy couldn’t help worrying about her father’s reaction when he saw her arm immobilized.
Josh spotted them first and stood. Corbin and Peter joined him as the three women reached them.
Peter glanced at Cindy’s well-bandaged arm. “What did the doctor say?”
“It’s broken just above the wrist,” she said with a shrug. “I have to go to some orthopedic surgeon Monday to get a cast put on.”
“Why aren’t they putting it on today?”
“They want to wait a couple of days for the swelling to go down.”
“Hmm.” Peter turned to Ellen. “I think we made a mistake. These two young men have been telling me about Danny.”
Ellen smiled. “Monique and I had quite a discussion as well.”
Cindy looked back and forth between her parents, a tiny spark of hope flaring to life. “So, you guys are cool with me continuing to go out with Danny?”
Peter studied his wife for a long moment, and then he turned to Cindy and nodded. “Yes, it’s okay. I still plan on talking to Danny at some point, but it sounds like today was an accident, like you said.”
She gave her father a hug. “Thanks, Dad.” She stepped back and met his gaze, hoping he could lay to rest one last worry. “You’ll go easy on him, won’t you? If Josh and Corbin have been talking to you, you know Danny’s already got a lot to deal with.”
“I’ll be good and not scare your boyfriend,” Peter said with a teasing twinkle in his eyes.
“I hope so.” She turned to Josh and Corbin, finally voicing the question that had been weighing on her. “Have you guys heard from Alex and Lacey?”
Both men had sympathetic expressions, and fear shot through Cindy’s heart. They wouldn’t look like that if it was good news.
“Alex called a little while ago,” Josh said. “They haven’t seen any sign of Danny. He’s vanished.”
Moisture stung Cindy’s eyes as she nodded. She’d known it was a long shot that they’d find him, but she had to hope. She wanted Danny’s friends to find him, not the police. Everyone who knew Danny would see that he got help; she was afraid the police would take him to jail instead of the hospital.
They left the emergency room, and Cindy’s parents insisted on driving her back to campus. They tried to convince her to go home for the weekend, but she wanted to be easy to find if Danny showed up. He’d need her when he came back to reality.
Monique’s words floated through Cindy’s mind, and she wondered if they were true. Did she love Danny? She knew she cared about him deeply, but she’d never considered whether it was love. On some level, she supposed it must be love or she wouldn’t be so scared for him. But did she love Danny the same way Monique loved Corbin?
The longing in her heart said she did.
Chapter Seventeen
Cindy’s usual group of girlfriends piled into her room, bringing popcorn, movies, and soda. While she appreciated the effort, she wanted to be alone. She had midterms to study for, a caseworker to call, and a boyfriend who still hadn’t shown up twenty-four hours after he disappeared. Worry threatened to consume her as she waited for any news. With Danny’s history of PTSD and depression, he was at high risk of harming himself. Since he hadn’t been aware of reality the last time she’d seen him, the thought of what he might do without even realizing what he was doing terrified her. The pain in her wrist didn’t help, either. It didn’t matter whether she moved or not; there was a constant ache deep in the bone. The slightest bump to her left hand or arm sent sharp pain shooting through her wrist and halfway to her elbow.
At her friends’ prompting, Cindy watched a movie with them, but her thoughts remained on Danny and Alan. She didn’t know what Alan could do, but Danny had mentioned his caseworker could make the impossible happen. Maybe he’d have some idea of how she could find Danny.
As the credits rolled, she stood and grabbed her cell phone. She also picked up the paper with Alan’s number, making a mental note to program it into her phone that night. “I have to make a call. Go ahead and start the next movie. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Are you okay?” Leann asked, her brow furrowed with concern. She’d worried more since Cindy came back with a bandaged arm than she had in the entire first half of the semester.
“Yeah, I just have a call I need to make.” Cindy went into the deserted hall, pulling the door closed behind her. She dialed Alan’s number and waited for the caseworker to pick up. “Hello, Alan? This is Cindy Waymire, Danny Flynn’s girlfriend.”
“Hi, Cindy. Any word on Danny yet?”
“Not yet.” She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. This was more difficult than she’d expected. “Um, do you have any ideas on what I could do? I feel so helpless just waiting for him to show up. Going out to look for him is pointless; I’d never find him. But is there something else I can do?”
“Well, I hate to say it, but there’s not much any of us can do except wait. I’ve been in touch with the local police, as well as the sheriff’s department and the state police. They’re all watching for him, and they’ll take him straight to the emergency room if they find him.”
“I’m glad to know that. I’ve been worried they might take him to the jail instead. Those cops were pretty insistent about me pressing charges against him. I could tell they weren’t happy that I refused.”
“How are you doing? I heard something about your wrist getting injured.”
She sighed; of course he’d heard about it. Everyone else knew. “It’s broken just above the joint. I don’t want Danny to hear about it from someone else and get all depressed because he hurt me. He really didn’t break it. It was just bad luck that I was so close to that stupid piece of metal.”
“Okay, so how are you doing?” The caseworker’s gentle voice caused moisture to sting her eyes.
She knew he wanted to know how she was doing emotionally, but she wasn’t sure what to tell him. “I don’t know. Physically, there’s my wrist, and I’m a little sore from when Danny tackled me to save me from a bomb that existed only in his mind. Emotionally… I’m not quite a wreck, but I’m worried about Danny. I’m scared about what he’s going through and possibly doing right now. I’m worried about what his reaction will be when he finds out he played a part in my wrist getting broken.” She hesitated then shared another fear, one she hadn’t told anyone else. “I’m scared I won’t be able to do enough for him when he turns up. I mean, I don’t know what to do to help him, other than pray. I care about him so much, but it seems like no matter what I do, it’s never enough. Yesterday proved that. I thought he was doing so well, but then all of a sudden he was worse than I’ve ever seen him.”
“Cindy, you have to remember he’s been severely traumatized. None of this is your fault. He will always have good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day. He’ll spend some time in a psychiatric ward and probably get his medication regulated. But once he recovers, he’s likely to have some good days.”
What Alan said made sense, but it did little to ease her mind. “I just feel so helpless, like nothing I can say or do will do any good.”
“Trust me, you’ve done a lot of good. You won’t ever be able to fix him, but you can definitely help him. I talked to Danny last week, and he told me you’ve helped him come a long way just by listening and being there. He has so many people trying to force him to deal with everything. He said you’re the only one who’s just there when he needs you. You don’t try to force him to talk about anything, but you’ll listen to everything he says.”
Guilt washed through her. “But I did force him to talk. He didn’t want to tell me anyth
ing, but I kept pushing until he finally started telling me about his time in the army.”
“He told me about that night, and he admitted that he needed you to push him to get him talking to you. But according to him, you haven’t tried to force him to talk since then, and that is what he’s focused on. You’re giving him what he needs more than anything, Cindy. You’re giving him someone who will just sit quietly with him and listen if he feels like talking.”
She pressed her bandaged arm against her middle and closed her teary eyes, finally ready to make an admission. “I love him. It’s so hard to see him suffering, and it hurts so much to know I can’t just fix everything for him. About all I can do is listen. He’s been happier since he started talking to me, and it’s brought us closer together, but will it ever be enough?”
“It’s enough,” Alan said firmly. “He has a counselor to provide professional help and a psychiatrist who can give him medication to help stabilize him. He has family and friends to give him moral support. But you and your love for him have reached him in a way no one else has been able to. You say you want to know what you can do for him. Just keep loving him. Even if you don’t see it, you’re helping him tremendously just by caring about him.”
As she considered his words, a weight lifted from her shoulders. If Alan was right, she’d always be able to do enough for Danny just by continuing to be the best girlfriend she could be. “Thanks, Alan. I know you’re right. Sometimes it takes hearing another person say it for the truth to sink in.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said with a chuckle. “You give me a call if you hear from Danny or if you need to talk. Okay? Things like this are as hard on loved ones as they are on the veterans themselves.”