The Baby Secret

by Helen Brooks

  'No way, Victoria.' It was final, and she knew him well enough to know that she could talk until she was blue in the face and they would still end up having that meal.

  But she still persisted. 'You've got no right to barge in here like this—' She stopped abruptly as he rounded on her angrily, his dark eyes flashing fire and his face black with rage.

  'I have every right,' he stated with imperious authority. 'I am your husband—or had that little fact slipped your memory?'

  'Only until the divorce becomes final,' she countered swiftly. 'And…and I'm not using my married name any more.'

  'That doesn't make you any less married,' he said with unarguable logic. 'You're my wife, Victoria. It's legal.'

  'We were barely married.' Victoria was aware her voice was higher-pitched than normal and strived desperately to bring it down an octave or two as she continued, 'It was only for a day.'

  'And a night.' His gaze narrowed as he saw his words register in her liquid, violet-blue eyes, his cleanly sculpted mouth twisting in a sardonic smile as he added, 'Don't forget the night, Victoria. Annulment is definitely not an option.'

  As if she could forget. She stared at him, her face suffusing with enough colour to satisfy even Zac. She had been an innocent twenty to his experienced and far from innocent thirty-five, and he had taken her into a heaven that was indescribable. The wedding had been a fairy-tale one of white lace and orange blossom, despite the fact that it had all been arranged in as little as four months from the point at which they had got engaged, and every moment had been one of exquisite beauty and romance. But the night… The night had been one of unforgettable passion.

  Victoria had been nervous when he had first shut the door of their hotel room, and they were alone at last.

  Nervous of her naiveté, of her potential inability to please and satisfy a well-versed man of the world like Zac, of her ingenuousness and lack of sophistication in the arts of love.

  She had met Zac Harding the day after she had returned to England from Romania, where she had been taking a year out after A levels working in an orphanage before taking up her university place. She had been nineteen and untouched.

  It had been her mother who had introduced them. Coral Chigley-Brown had thrown one of her little parties—ostensibly to celebrate Victoria's safe return from that 'awful place', as her mother termed Romania, but really because Coral was the sort of social butterfly who found a different excuse for a soiree of some kind every week. Even now Victoria could picture the look of satisfaction on her mother's pretty, expertly made-up face as she had watched Zac's dark, glittering eyes narrow with interest on her daughter. She just hadn't known her mother's real reason for desiring an alliance between the Chigley-Browns and the Hardings. Not then.

  'Victoria?' Zac's voice brought her back from a dark place. 'I presume this little idyll far from the madding crowd has a kitchen?'

  'A kitchen?' She stared at him as though the words were foreign to her and then nodded towards an arched doorway. 'Through there, but if you insist on staying for a meal I'll see to it.'

  'Sit down; you look as though you need to,' he said drily. 'I'll sort something out for us.' He eyed her mockingly.

  'You?' If he had taken all his clothes off and danced the conga she couldn't have looked more amazed, Zac reflected somewhat cynically. 'You can cook?' Victoria asked weakly.

  'Yes, I can cook, Victoria,' he said smoothly. 'I can do a lot of things you are not yet aware of. Now, sit down and think nice thoughts, and once you are looking less drained we can commence battle. Okay?'

  He didn't wait for an answer, striding through the doorway into the small kitchen where she heard him beginning to clatter about like an army of chars among William's pots and pans.

  She needed to sit down if she were being honest, Victoria thought shakily, staring at the empty doorway one more time before making tremblingly for the rocking chair. It wasn't just that she had skipped breakfast before going to the appointment with the doctor because she had been feeling ill, or the heat and feeling of nausea that were now combining to make her light-headed; it was…it was him, Zac. All her troubles were down to Zac.

  He was right when he said there were lots of things she didn't know about him, Victoria thought with painful honesty as she flopped down in the cushioned cane. Their whirlwind courtship and swift marriage had been very much a public affair, and they had hardly been alone at all in the preceding months.

  Why hadn't it occurred to her to be suspicious about that? she asked herself now. It was natural for newly engaged couples to want to be alone, surely, but Zac hadn't seemed to want that. But then with Gina in tow, why should he? He'd had everything he wanted.

  Lies, lies, lies—their whole relationship had been built on a pack of lies, and it had only been hours after their union that the house of cards had come tumbling down.

  Victoria had been vaguely aware of the telephone ringing very early the morning after their wedding, and of Zac reaching out a hand and speaking quietly into the receiver.

  She had heard him mutter something into the phone, and then, after sitting up abruptly, he had padded through into the sumptuous sitting room of the bridal suite at the hotel where they had held the reception, and continued the call on the extension in there.

  She had still been half awake when he had come back into the bedroom and begun dressing, and her sleepy, 'Zac, is anything wrong?' had brought a reply of, 'Just a business crisis I need to sort out with Jack before we fly to Jamaica this morning. Go back to sleep, darling, I'll only be a few minutes.'

  And, trusting, blind fool that she was, she had gone back to sleep, exhausted by the excitement of the day before and her consuming, wildly passionate and utterly thrilling initiation into the intimacy of married life. Had there ever been such a fool as she?

  When she had next surfaced it was to Zac gently kissing her awake, his eyes dark and hot, but when she had held out her arms in an unspoken invitation for him to join her in the massive bed he had shaken his head slowly, softening the refusal with a laughing reminder that they had arranged to share breakfast with the guests who had stayed over at the hotel after the late evening reception. It made her squirm with humiliation now to think of it.

  She had felt a little hurt before she'd told herself she was being silly. This was the first day of their lives together as man and wife—they had all the time in the world in which to share their love. But as she had dressed, Zac watching her with a strange expression on his dark, handsome face, Victoria hadn't been able to rid herself of the impression that something was wrong even as she told herself she was being ridiculous.

  He hadn't been the adoring, besotted bridegroom of the day before, or the ardent, sensual lover of the night hours, a lover who had tenderly tempered his considerable sexual prowess to her nervous inexperience until she had been as wildly abandoned as he was. He'd been different Something had changed, and she hadn't been able to put her finger on it He'd seemed preoccupied.

  And then, shockingly, in the elegant, air-conditioned luxury of the hotel lounge, she had discovered why her husband of a few hours had refused her fumbling sexual advances that morning.

  Zac had wanted to make a phone call before they went through to join the others for breakfast, and she had sat down in one of the deeply cushioned sofas to wait for him, glancing idly at a glossy magazine and reflecting that she had never imagined it was possible to feel so happy. But she felt loved, she'd told herself joyfully. For the first time in her life she felt really loved Hers had been a privileged childhood in the material sense, but her parents had never made any secret of the fact that they hadn't wanted a child and that she was an intrusion into their lives.

  When she had been shipped off to boarding-school at the tender age of seven, it had been her nanny she had cried for—she had barely known her parents. And when her father had died three years later she had attended the funeral of a stranger. As she had gone into her teenage years she had tried to get to know her mother
, but after countless cold rebuffs had finally accepted they were a million miles apart in everything that mattered.

  Her mother was an avid socialite who used her considerable wealth for a life of pampered luxury, and who worried more about a chip in her nail varnish than starving children in the Third World. Victoria's gentle, sweet nature was anathema to her mother—Coral saw it only as weakness and despised her for it.

  And so, as Victoria had sat waiting for her new husband on this, the first morning of her new life, her heart had sunk slightly when that familiar voice had sounded at her elbow, saying, 'Victoria? What on earth are you skulking out here for?'

  There had been no real justification in- Coral's taking advantage of Zac's generous offer to provide accommodation at the hotel for any guests who wanted to stay over for the night after the celebrations—she only lived a short drive away in a sumptuous apartment in Kensington—but it hadn't surprised Victoria either. Coral was like that She took everything she could and then some.

  'Skulking?' Victoria forced a smile as she turned in her seat to look up at the hard, pretty face staring down at her. 'I'm not skulking, Mother. I'm waiting for Zac,' she said quietly.

  'Are you?' Her mother paused, frowning slightly before she said, 'You really ought to get in there with all the others and show them you don't care, Victoria. It's the only way.'

  'Don't care?' Victoria echoed confusedly.

  'Exactly.' Coral's voice was sharp and impatient.

  'Mother, I'm sure this conversation is making sense to you but I don't have a clue what you are on about,' Victoria said patiently. 'What is it I'm not supposed to care about?'

  'You mean you don't know?' Coral sank gracefully into a seat opposite her daughter, crossing her legs and raising her chin slightly in order to show her profile to its best advantage to anyone who might be watching. 'I would have thought Zac would have told you by now,' she added disapprovingly, her eyes narrowing on Victoria's beautiful, slightly bewildered face. It was a source of constant aggravation to Coral that such beauty had been wasted on someone who didn't care for the social scene, and who didn't—in Coral's opinion—make the best of themselves.

  Victoria stared at her mother, the little prickles running down her spine telling her she was about to hear something she didn't want to hear. But still she said, 'Go on,' her voice steady.

  'Gina Rossellini—that second, or is it third cousin of Zac's?—took an overdose last night. She was in the room next to mine and there was such a commotion at about four o'clock this morning. Stupid woman.' The last two words were vicious. 'It's all for Zac's attention of course. I know her type.'

  'Mother…' Victoria shook her head slowly, her sleek fall of silver-blonde hair that was cut in feathered wisps down to her shoulder blades shimmering under the artificial lights of the hotel lounge. 'What are you trying to tell me?' she asked quietly, her stomach doing a mighty cartwheel. 'Are you saying that there is something going on between Zac and Gina Rossellini?'

  'She's been his mistress for years, girl; I thought you knew,' Coral said irritably. 'Everyone else on the planet does.'

  'I… How could I know?' Victoria was suddenly aware of the moment in piercing detail—the subdued, discreet lighting overhead, the dusky pink carpet and luxurious furnishings, the faint perfume from the fresh flowers at the side of them—it was all stamped on her consciousness along with the horror of her mother's next words that chilled her blood to liquid ice.

  'Well, it doesn't matter much one way or the other, does it?' Coral said matter-of-factly. 'Your father's mistress knew him long before I did and if you're wise you won't put anything in the way of this association continuing. A mistress is very useful, Victoria. She can take care of all that—' her mother flicked a languid hand with a distaste-fill wrinkle of her small nose '—side of things which men seem to find so important. As long as she knows her place—as Linda Ward did—she can be an asset to you.'

  'Linda… Aunty Linda! You mean Aunty Linda was father's mistress?' Victoria asked faintly. She'd always known Linda Ward as one of her parents' close friends, although her mother had always treated the other woman with a patronising condescension Victoria hadn't understood until this very moment. 'And you didn't mind?'

  'Of course not.' Her mother was clearly losing patience as she snapped, 'All men have mistresses, Victoria, if they can afford them. For heaven's sake open your eyes, girl. Of course one would prefer they have a little more control and discretion than Gina obviously has, but that comes of her having Latin blood, I suppose. Still, Zac's mother was Italian so I suppose Gina suits him in certain regards. Men look for different things in wives and mistresses,' Coral continued in the normal superior manner she adopted when talking to her daughter.

  'Mistresses are for certain…basic needs; wives are chosen for their social connections and pedigree, and for the continuation of the family name if so required.'

  'Zac…Zac isn't like that,' Victoria protested dazedly. 'I don't know what happened with Gina, but he isn't still seeing her, I know it. And he married me because he loves me, not because of my name or standing or anything like that,' she finished a trifle wildly, her hands clenching into two fists at her sides.

  'Pull yourself together.' It was soft but deadly. 'Don't you dare cause a scene, Victoria. Of course Zac has a regard for you, but an alliance with the Chigley-Browns is also very useful to him. Your father's business interests were very far-reaching, and there is already a deal going through to cement an alliance.'

  'I don't believe you.' Victoria glared at her. 'I don't.'

  But her mother's sharp ears caught the soft quiver in the brave protest, and her hard blue eyes that resembled cold glass were piercing. Coral sighed irritably, before she snapped, 'I do hope you aren't going to be difficult about all this, Victoria. For a grown woman of twenty you really are most childish. Zac spent part of the night in Gina's room when he was called to her side—now face that and get on with things for goodness' sake. I don't know how many of our guests—' ours? thought Victoria numbly '—are aware of the situation, but you need to handle this with the sophistication Zac will naturally expect of his wife.'

  'I don't believe you.' This time it was a fierce hiss, and Coral actually drew back in her chair, her light blue eyes wide with shock and surprise, as Victoria continued, 'You disgust me, do you know that? You have always disgusted me, although when I was younger I couldn't put a name to why. But you're shallow, utterly selfish, and you don't care about anyone but yourself. You've never loved me; I don't believe you've ever loved anyone.'

  Victoria rose as she finished speaking, glaring down at her mother with blazing blue eyes. 'I'm going to find Zac now, and I know he'll tell me it was all lies. We want to have a real marriage, something you couldn't possibly understand.'

  'Victoria.' Angry though her mother was, her voice still didn't rise above a certain level, her control absolute. 'Sit down at once and behave yourself. I'm ashamed of you.'

  'I'm a married woman, Mother, and your time of telling me what to do is over,' Victoria said tightly. 'I couldn't believe the terrible scene you caused when I said I wanted to go to help the children in Romania, or the tactics you used to try and stop me going, but you failed then and you will continue to fail. I make my own decisions now; kindly remember that in future. And we will never agree on anything; I accept that now. We're worlds apart.'

  She was shaking so much as she walked over to join Zac that he couldn't fail to notice, and as he finished his telephone call abruptly the thought did flash through Victoria's mind as to why he couldn't have used the phone in their suite.

  'Tory?' It was his pet name for her and she welcomed the security of the intimacy for a moment. 'What's wrong?' He took her arm as he spoke, moving her into a quiet corner as he held her against his chest before moving her away slightly in order to look down into her face. 'Has someone upset you?'

  'My…my mother.' Victoria breathed deeply, willing herself to remain strong. 'She said things, things about you
and…Gina.'

  'What things?' His voice was expressionless and cairn, but Victoria had seen the impact in his eyes and her heart stopped before racing on like an express train. There was something in this.

  'She said Gina was your mistress.' Victoria pulled away from him now, standing straight and stiff as she looked intently into his face. 'And that your business interests are forming a merger with my father's. She said it's all been arranged for ages.'

  'And?' He continued to look at her with the poker face she had seen him adopt with other people in other situations. But not her. Never with her. With her he had been open and warm and tender… Black foreboding took all the colour from her face.

  'Isn't that enough?' Victoria asked tightly. 'Is it true?'

  'Tory, let's go somewhere more private to discuss this.'

  'Where did you go when you left our room last night?' she asked with painful dignity, holding her slender body ramrod-straight 'Did you go to see Gina because she had taken an overdose?'

  'Victoria, I'm not prepared to discuss this here.' The 'Tory' had gone, Victoria thought with grim discernment, and in that moment she knew whom he had been phoning too. Gina Rossellini.

  'Why did she do that, Zac?' She ignored his furious frown with a regal composure her mother would have been proud of. 'Was it because she couldn't handle seeing you marry someone else? Because she'd thought she was going to be the one you took down the aisle, rather than becoming the one you kept on the side? And why did you marry me anyway? Were my connections better than hers? Have I swelled the Harding coffers?' she persisted stiffly.

  'Is that what Coral told you?' he asked grimly.

  But he hadn't denied it. He hadn't denied it She couldn't believe this was happening to her. 'Zac, are you, or are you not, dealing with the people who now run my father's business interests for my mother with a view to an alliance?' Victoria asked woodenly. 'A simple yes or no will do.' She stared at him desperately.

  'Yes.' And he didn't bat an eyelid. Not an eyelid.