The scars of us

by Rachael Tonks

  “I just want it all to end. I want to be with you. Just you and me.” She reaches up, pressing her tear-soaked lips against mine.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I should’ve protected you, but I didn’t.”

  “No,” she exclaims, “none of this is your fault.” Dropping her hand from the grip she had on my hair, she rubs my cheek, using the pad of her thumb against my rough skin.

  “Ready to go, man?” Nate turns his head and I give him a nod. The men jump back into the van, dragging Harlan’s body and dropping it on the seats in front. Isabelle presses her body against mine as though she is trying to get away from him. Burying her head into my chest she asks, “Is he dead?” Her heart hammers intensely and her breathing is erratic.

  “Not yet. But he will be. Turns out he’s Nate’s brother.”

  She gasps, looking up at me through her long lashes. “Who are these guys?”

  “The Savages,” I whisper in response.

  “Shit,” she mumbles and the words rumble against my chest. “And Carter?” she asks with a wary tone to her voice.

  “It’s a long story,” I sigh, stroking my hand over her hair.

  “Alvrez said something really weird.” She adjusts herself until she is sitting up, facing me. “He said he knew I’d escaped my father, and he came for me. All the time I thought it was a case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time, but now, I’m not sure. I think he knew exactly where I was.”

  I listen to her, tilting my head to the side a little. “But how? How could anyone have known? I searched for you. I hired private detectives who could never locate your whereabouts, so how could he possibly know?”

  “I don’t know. But I’m not convinced this is the coincidence I thought it was.”

  I pull her head against my chest as we start moving again, making our way to the house.

  “Why are we going this way?” she asks confused.

  “It was the trade. I needed help, and I knew he had the money and drugs from the deal.”

  “Don’t make me go back in there,” she says with panic in her voice, fighting to get out of my hold.

  “We have to go in, Isabelle. I can’t leave you out here. It’s not safe. I need you by my side at all times.”

  “I just want you to take me home. I never want to set foot in that place again.”

  “I promise you, when I’ve finished you will never set foot in there, ever again.” I squeeze her hand, pulling it to my mouth. “I need to make sure Alvrez is dead. I need to have closure on this, so we can move on without fear of retribution.”

  “I want that too,” she whispers. “But that place… what happened to me holds so many painful memories. Things happened that I can never forget. Visions play over and over in my mind, Brax. I feel broken, so damn broken.”

  “Shhh… baby, I got you,” I say pulling her into my hold once again. “I can’t undo what has happened, but I can try to heal you. Put you back together, make you whole again.”

  She sniffles, and I feel the gentle movement of her head against me.

  “In and out, I promise,” I say as I feel the van coming to a stop. The huge gates to the entrance are locked and there is only one way in. “Use his fingerprint to open the gates,” I instruct, pointing to Harlan. The guys in front nod, opening the door and dragging an unconscious Harlan toward the gate.

  I step out of the van, holding my hand to Isabelle. “Jump out, baby,” I coax, watching as her eyes flit between me and the mansion, a look of horror on her face. “I got you,” I reassure her, taking her hand and helping her out of the vehicle. I grab the blanket, wrapping it around her body. “Here, keep this on,” I say, dipping my head, trying to catch her eye. “It’s going to be okay.”

  The gate opens slowly and Nate orders Jarvis to stay in the van. He walks in followed by the driver, Zane. Silver and Duke drag Harlan’s body toward the main door. They struggle to lift his bound hands for the fingerprint recognition.

  “Oh fuck this,” Silver groans, dropping his body to the floor, face down. Reaching inside his pants, he pulls out his Gerber Gator knife, bending over and slicing away at his wrist.

  “The fuck, man?” Nate grumbles.

  “Easier than lifting his body every time,” Silver breathes out as he works to cut through the bone of Harlan’s wrist.

  “Don’t look,” I say, shielding the sight before me from Izzy.

  “Arrrggghhh,” Harlan starts to scream out, his blood covering Silver’s leg, pooling around his limp body on the floor.

  “Make him stop,” Isabelle cries out, covering her ears with her hands.

  “Shit,” I grumble checking all around us. “Fucking gag him,” I shout over, desperate to stop his shrill, ear-piercing screams. Zane rips the front off his t-shirt, stuffing it into Harlan's mouth, muffling his screams.

  Silver stands up from the ground grasping Harlan’s severed hand in his. Nate's eyes widen as he looks between the hand and Harlan squirming on the ground. I know he acted like he meant nothing to him, but I can’t help but think he’s hiding his true feelings about him.

  “Stop waving it around and get us inside already,” Nate bites out, snapping his eyes away from Harlan on the floor. Silver laughs as he presses the thumb to the screen. The door beeps and he manages to push it open. “Well, that was easy.” He continues to laugh cheerfully making his way inside, holding it open for the rest of us. “I’ll keep this for later,” he says pushing the bloodied hand into his back pocket. I cringe at his actions, but should expect nothing less from the Savages. Duke helps Zane drag in Harlan, dumping him just inside the entrance, resting his back against the wall.

  “So, cocksucker. Where are the drugs? The money, huh?” Silver grabs the material at the front of his shirt, pulling his face close to his. “Not looking so good there, Harlan,” he sneers with a tilt of his head.

  He tries to shout back, but the words are garbled, the material in his mouth suffocating the sound. “Listen, I’ll take out the gag, but on the condition you spill the deets.” He smiles, and it’s like he’s enjoying it. He squeezes his chin with a viselike grasp, retrieving the material stuffed into his mouth.

  “My fucking hand, man. You cut it off.” He trembles, his forehead beads with sweat.

  “Never mind your hand, I’ll cut your tiny dick off if you don’t hurry up and tell us where the fucking drugs are.” Resting the tip of his knife between Harlan’s legs, I watch as his eyes widen. I can’t help but chuckle. This right here is fucked up, but I shouldn’t have expected anything less from these guys.

  “Safe. Up in Alvrez’s room. The drugs and money, it’s all in there.” He stutters out his words, his eyes wide and his face contorted with a mixture of pain and shock.

  “I’ll stay here with Isabelle, you guys go get the cash and drugs,” I instruct, with a sense of urgency.

  “The code, Harlan,” Silver shouts back over his shoulder. “What’s the code?”

  “Seven, six, nine, five, one.”

  I lean back against the wall opposite Harlan. Isabelle clings onto my side. Noticing that she is still shivering, I wrap my arm around her to try to insulate her.

  “He’s dead?” her voice squeaks and her eyes fix on Harlan, and I know she’s referring to Alvrez.

  “I don’t know,” he murmurs, his eyes drifting open then shut again. It looks like he’s fading, blood still pouring from his arm. Without stemming the blood flow, he’ll die.

  “What do you mean?” she screeches. “He has to be dead. I saw him. Flat in the water,” she gasps. Her hand covering her mouth. “What… what if he’s not… dead?”

  “Then I’ll make sure of it,” I reply calmly.

  “We should check. We need to make sure. I can’t risk him taking me again, Brax. I need to move on without fear of him.”

  “And you will, baby. I promise. Nothing will tear us apart again.” She looks me in the eyes, the once bright blue eyes are a dull shade. Fuck, I need to get her out of here. Footsteps catch my a
ttention. I look over to the huge staircase where the guys are making their way down with crate after crate of money and drugs. They laugh cheerfully, their raucous voices fill the enormous empty house.

  “Got it,” Nate yells. “Now, let’s get the fuck out of here!”

  “I need to make sure Alvrez is a goner. Prick face here says he’s not sure he’s dead, and I ain’t fucking risking it.”

  “Do what you have to,” Nate says, squeezing my shoulder lightly as he passes with the drugs he came for. A look of achievement is etched across his face. This was exactly what he needed to prove his worth to the family.

  “You coming?” I ask Isabelle, knowing that she’s been through so much already, but also aware that she needs closure.

  “Yes,” she rushes out. “Don’t you dare leave me.”

  I pull her into my hold, kissing the top of her head lightly. “There’s just one thing we need to do,” I say glancing up at the camera’s that seem to follow us.

  “What?” she pulls back, questioning me with her eyes.

  “We need to get rid of all the evidence. Wait here for a second.” I race back to the van, dragging out two large canisters of gasoline, and rush to make my way back to her.

  “We burn this place down and everything inside.”

  “But… but... we can’t,” she stutters. “Brax, you don’t understand. I wasn’t the first.” She steps closer, her voice quieter than before. “There is evidence in a room upstairs. The women who suffered before me. Their families deserve to find out what happened to them, to know that they aren’t just missing. They were tortured and murdered by him, by Alvrez.”

  I push out a controlled breath. “Baby, I have to. I have to get rid of all evidence. I’m sorry.”

  “I get it.” She drops her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “I just wish there was something I could do.”

  “Me too,” I sigh heavily, seeing the pain in her eyes is like a knife in my gut. “Here,” I say offering her my hand. She takes it and I hold it securely in mine. “We have to make a move. Where is he?” I ask warily. She doesn’t respond, but tugs on my hand, leading me down the hall. We walk toward a door and she opens it slowly.

  “In here,” she says, her eyes darting around the room. I see the pool and immediately look for his body, but it’s not there. I proceed with caution, pushing her behind me as I make my way further inside. I notice the door which she used to escape is still open, but with no sign of Alvrez.

  “He’s there,” she chokes out, her whole body shakes. My eyes land on him lying near the shower area. “How did he get out? Oh, God. He can’t be alive, surely not.”

  Rushing over to his body, kicking out my foot, I try to see if he’s still alive. He lets out a grumble, his chest making the slightest movement. Clenching my jaw, I reach inside my pants, drawing out my gun. Cocking the gun, I aim directly at his head. I press my finger slowly against the trigger, releasing the bullet into this sick fuck's skull. But one doesn’t seem enough. Pulling the trigger over and over, I empty the full case of bullets. Isabelle jerks with every bullet that is fired, but she doesn’t say anything. Blood sprays up my arm, catching my face. “Fuck,” I grumble, dragging my hand across my blood-stained face. “He’ll never bother us again,” I say with certainty. He’s dead, his head blown completely open, and it feels good. My heart races with exhilaration, knowing this sick fuck can’t hurt her ever again, or anyone else for that fact.

  Her eyes fix on me. “Please, let’s go.” She tugs on my arm, snapping me from my daze.

  “Sure, let me just give this place a kick start.” I open the cap of the gasoline, trickling it over his body, making a trail as we walk out of the room. I splash it all over the wall and floors as we walk through. I dowse the stairs and open the doors, getting it to reach as far as I can.

  “What about Harlan?” she asks, drawing her eyebrows together.

  “What about him?” I respond coldly. “Cocksucker goes up with the house.” I throw the empty can across the hall, grabbing the second one, I throw some more around until we get to the entrance. “Stand back,” I say, making my way through the door, pouring the clear liquid over an already unconscious Harlan. I walk her over to the van, Silver helping her inside. Making my way back to the front door, I pull out a small box of matches from my inside pocket. I strike the match and let it fall on the pool of gasoline just at the door. Instantly, it ignites, spreading faster than I’d imagined. I stumble back, using my arm to shield my eyes from the heat and bright flicker of flames.

  “Come on, man,” Nate shouts to me, grabbing my upper arm and dragging me to the van just outside the gates. I look back at the house as it engulfs in flames. A deep sense of satisfaction courses through me as I feel absolutely nothing. No guilty conscience or regrets, just a finality to the madness those pieces of shit put Isabelle through. I snap away from the sight in front of me, turning and racing to get back where I belong.

  With Isabelle.

  A thousand wicked thoughts flit through my mind and a searing pain resides in my chest. Some might call it guilt, but I’m not sure. Do I feel bad about what happened to the people that tried to ruin me and torture me? Absolutely not. But I don’t exactly feel good about it either. Have I become as bad as them? Am I a monster for the things I have done, for what I just witnessed? I swallow down hard, opening my mouth a little as I take in a huge breath.

  “Hey, are you okay?” he whispers. His warm hand strokes my head lovingly, even if it does smell of gasoline. I shake my head, not really knowing how to answer him. I’m free, yet I feel so full of mixed emotions. “I know it’s a lot to take in, baby. I’m sorry you had to witness that back there. I sometimes forget you’re not like me.” He speaks quietly, the rest of the guys are in raucous chatter as excitement fills the van.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, looking into his gorgeous eyes.

  “You’re not a criminal like these guys. You haven’t seen the things we have, and I know just how shocking it can be to someone on the outside.”

  “You always said I wasn’t like you but what if I am, Brax? What if I’m a murderer just like you and the other guys? Does that make me a bad person?”

  “No way!”

  “But I killed Jess and I very nearly killed Alvrez…”

  He interrupts me, pressing his finger across my tear-soaked lips. “You did what you had to just to survive. You don’t hurt people for fun, baby, so don’t even compare yourself to those sick motherfuckers. They got exactly what they deserved. You don’t need to feel bad about that.”

  “I guess so.” I reach under my eye, swiping away another fallen tear.

  “It’s our time now, baby. You and me together. I’m never losing you again, got it?”

  I smile genuinely for the first time in ages, leaning into his hand that caresses my cheek. “All I want to do is lie in your arms, Brax. Make me forget the memories, to feel something other than pain. You’re the only one that can do that, you’re the only one I want to do that.”

  “I’ll do everything I can. Everything that needs to be done. Let’s get you home.” He smiles, placing his lips gently against my forehead. I stay like that the whole way back to his house. Encased in his arms, his head resting on the top of mine.

  “This is us,” he whispers, slipping his arm out of my hold. He drops out of the van, offering his hand to help me. “Let me get you inside.”

  I look up at the house I know; only it looks unfamiliar. “You did this?” I ask, nodding toward the high fence and gate that now surrounds the house.

  “Just precautionary,” he answers with a shrug, turning to open the electric gate. Walking down the driveway, we make our way inside. “I need to speak with Nate.” His warm hand cups my cold face. “Tara is inside. She wanted to come with us, but I wasn’t willing to take her. It was a risk. Too much of a risk.”

  “Why?” I whisper. “Why would she want to help you, but Carter didn’t?”

  “I don’t know, baby. But none of
that matters now. I have you back. That’s all that fucking matters to me.”

  “I don’t trust Carter, which means I don’t trust her.” I slam my arms across my chest as I step through the door. A solemn-looking Tara stands in front of me. Her eyes look sad, even though she forces a smile. “Shit,” I grumble under my breath.

  “You found her?” She smiles widely, stepping on her toes as she strains to look outside. “And the rest? Did everyone make it out?” Her words rush out and I look between Brax and Tara, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

  “Yes,” he breathes. “Nate and the guys are fine. But listen.” He steps forward, brushing the top of her arm. “This is not a good idea, Tara. You don’t want to be part of their world. Not now, not ever. It’s dangerous. The lifestyle they live isn’t for you.”

  She steps back, dropping her head, looking up at Brax sullenly. “I don’t have to listen to this,” she spits back at him, storming toward the door. “Oh,” she halts, turning and looking directly at me, “I’m glad they got you out of there, Isabelle.” Her smile widens and it feels genuine.

  “Thank you,” I reply as I watch as her eyes shift from me to Brax and the smile suddenly fades as she starts to glare at him. With a snap of her head, she turns and sprints out of the door. I draw my eyebrows together confused at what just happened.

  “I need to speak with the guys. You sit here,” he says taking my hand and leading me to the couch. “I’ll be right back.” He kneels down in front of me, pressing his soft lips against my dry cracked ones. I nod, reaching for the blanket resting over the back of the couch, pulling it over me as he races outside. I lean back into the couch, pulling the corner of the blanket and pressing it under my chin. It feels so good to finally have the warmth spread through my body. I rest my head back, closing my eyes, only the minute I do, the image of Alvrez appears in my mind. I snap my eyes back open, lifting my head and sucking in a breath, although it feels like I’m gasping, struggling to take in oxygen.

  I thrash my head from side to side and even though I know he’s not here, I feel like I have to visually check. A stifled cry escapes me. The realization that the nightmares will never leave me. That I will never be able to close my eyes without thinking about him and the way he hurt me.