The Things We Knew

by Catherine West

  “I’m not sure you want to know.”

  He sat beside her again and put a hand over hers. “I always want to know what you’re thinking.”

  She studied his face, wanting, wishing, but knowing the difference now between hope and reality. “I’m thinking that you’re a wonderful friend. I’m lucky you cared enough about me to want to protect me, to help me. But you don’t have to anymore.”

  “Lynnie, I don’t think you understand.” He sat forward, squeezed her hand. “Don’t you know how I feel about you?”

  “Nick.” She’d tried to prepare for this conversation. Tried to steel herself for what she knew was best, but now, looking at him, having him so close . . . she wasn’t sure she could do it. “I think . . . perhaps it’s best we leave all that alone. For now.” Her heart was in for a long recuperation. She stood, needing to put some space between them.

  “Wait. What are you saying?” Nick was beside her in an instant. He took her hands and held tight. Beyond the questions in his eyes might have been something that spoke of connection, of kinship, of a bond neither of them could deny. Maybe even real love. He’d said as much. She’d wanted to believe it. Still wanted to.

  But now she needed more. Needed to find out who she really was.

  Needed not to rely on old safety nets.

  And Nick had always been one of them.

  “I’m saying I want to take this time, Nick, for me.”

  “Okay, good.” His smile didn’t last. “But then?”

  “Then we’ll see.”

  He shook his head, like he could make her take the words back. “Please don’t kick me out of your life, Lynnie. I don’t think I could stand it.”

  “I’m not kicking you out of my life. How could I? You’ve been in it too long for that.”

  “But you’re saying good-bye, making it sound like it’s forever.”

  “Not forever, Nick. Just for now.”

  “So, when you get back we can—”

  “Nick.” She pulled her hands from his, folded her arms. “I need you to be patient with me.”

  “Okay.” He took a few steps back, exhaled. “But . . . I thought you . . . I’d hoped . . . you loved me.”

  Lynette couldn’t look at him and answer the question. Couldn’t lie either. So she watched an ant trek across the top of her foot and said nothing.

  Nick pressed his fingers under her chin. “Lynnie, look at me.”

  “Please don’t, Nick.” Tears blurred her vision.

  “Do you love me?” A knowing grin curled his lips. “It’s a simple question, Shortstop.”

  “Of course I do. I always have, Nick.” The confession brought a smile. “Is that really news to you?”

  Nick’s hands slid upward until they cradled her face. “I needed to hear you say it.”

  She allowed hope to infiltrate her heart once more. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Probably not as much as I’ll miss you.” One finger traced over her trembling lips, and then he gently pressed his own against them. Any protest she might have made died in her throat as she molded against him, put her arms around his neck, and allowed him to kiss her for a long while.

  Eventually he pulled away, stared at her, satisfaction lighting his face. “I love you, Lynette Carlisle.”

  Happiness she couldn’t comprehend—and wondered what she’d done to deserve—filled her with new anticipation of what life might be like from now on. “Are you sure?”

  “I am.” He ran his hands over her hair, truth standing in his eyes. “Maybe you can’t accept it right now, but there it is.” His fingers burned into her skin while his words burned into her heart. “I know we have things to work out, things to work on, but I want to, Lynnie. I want you to be part of my life. You already are.”

  “I think I’ve wanted this too long to really believe it,” she admitted with a laugh. “I’ll give you a minute to change your mind.”

  He quickly shook his head. “Not gonna happen. I love you. I love the way you smile, laugh, and talk to me. I love the sound of your voice. I know that I miss you when you’re not with me, and I spend way too much time thinking about seeing you again. And I know that if I have to spend the rest of my life without you, it’ll be as worthless as those magnets on the fridge your mother used to collect.”

  He brushed the tears from her cheeks. “So you can go off to Africa for as long as you want, but I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back. And I’ll still love you.” He drew back ever so slightly, watching, waiting. “Do you have anything to say?”

  “You’ll really wait for me?”

  “For as long as it takes.” He laughed, slipped his arms around her, and held tight. “I do love you, Lynnie, now and forever. And that’s the truth. Verity.”

  She shivered in the wind, met his dancing eyes, and allowed his words to settle into her heart.

  Truth.

  It was all she’d ever wanted, asked for, prayed for.

  Truth that had the power to blast through thick concrete walls that secrets and deceit hid behind. Truth that overshadowed lies, spoke of grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Truth that brought revelation and healing.

  And kicked open the door to a wide and wonderful world of endless and exciting possibility.

  “What do you say, Miss Carlisle? Will you let me be part of your future?”

  “I couldn’t imagine it without you.” She put her arms around him again and pulled him close. “Whatever comes next, Nick, we’ll face it together. And I’ll love you the rest of my life.”

  “So this is what happiness feels like.” He pressed his forehead to hers and sighed deeply.

  “I think so,” Lynette whispered. “I want this forever.”

  “Done.” They stood in the wonder of the moment, both smiling through tears. And then at last, Nick brought his lips to hers one more time and sealed that promise with a kiss.

  Discussion Questions

  In The Things We Knew, Lynette’s attachment to Wyldewood, the house she grew up in, is very strong. Why do you think she feels this way? Have you ever felt so attached to a particular home or place?

  Change is often unavoidable. In The Things We Knew, Lynette’s life is changing dramatically, and she’s doing her best to keep up. Have there been times in your life when everything seemed to be changing too fast and you just wanted it to stop? How did you handle it?

  Which character/s in The Things We Knew did you relate to most and why?

  At the beginning of the story, Nick is conflicted over his feelings for Lynette, and his attachment to the Carlisle family. Do you think he made the right decision in not telling Lynette the truth about what he knew?

  What do you think you might do if you were in Nick’s position, knowing that the secret you keep might do irreparable damage to so many people you care about?

  Grace is a prevalent theme throughout the story. It’s often the most difficult thing to do, show another person grace, especially when you think they don’t deserve it. Have you ever been in a situation where you chose grace over judgment? How did that make you feel? Have you been on the receiving end of somebody extending grace to you?

  Estrangement and fractured family relationships are common in our communities, but so difficult to navigate. What do you think the Carlisle siblings might have done differently to stay closer during their turbulent childhood years? Why do you think they all chose to go their separate ways?

  Was there a particular scene or chapter in the story that resonated with you? Why?

  Gray’s life choices have led him to a place of no return. How hard do you think returning home to his family, knowing all his failures, would be?

  Were you challenged in any way by this story? Would you recommend it to others? Why or why not?

  Acknowledgments

  Once upon a time, I decided to become a writer. And then I discovered how hard it was. But something made me do it anyway. Still, it’s not an easy road. I told God I was quitting a bunch of ti
mes. You’d think I’d learn not to argue with Him. I never win. And He is faithful.

  The birth of this particular book baby did not happen by chance. It was a long journey of stopping and starting, and God brought more than a few folks into the mix to encourage me and push the process along.

  As always, my fabulous agent and friend, Rachelle Gardner—who never gave up, never let me quit, and always told me the dream was within reach—I don’t have the words to fully express my heart. Thank-you isn’t enough. I wouldn’t be celebrating this book without your tireless spirit and endless encouragement, and I’m delighted to share this moment with you! You, the Books & Such team, and all the Bookies are true treasures. Thanks must also go to Mick Silva, the first editor to lay eyes on this story and tell me it was good, then show me how to make it even better. Yes, you said this would happen. I believe you now.

  To my publishing family at HCCP—I’m still astounded that I have the privilege of working with you! Thank you for making this author’s dream a reality, and loving this story as much as I do. Becky Monds and Natalie Hanneman, your fine editing skills created an even more compelling story—thank you! Daisy, Karli, Kristen, and the rest of the amazing team at Thomas Nelson who work so hard to give the world great books—thank you so much for all you do.

  All the wonderful writers within ACFW—your constant encouragement and teaching over the years has been incredible. It’s something special when you can look around a room and find a few hundred like-minded individuals just as crazy as you are. Special thanks go to a few—Beth Vogt, you’re my anchor, truly. Thank you for knowing what to say and when to say it, and how to pray. I’m so grateful for our first meeting and the amazing friendship birthed from that moment. Katie Ganshert—girl you inspire me, always. Jennifer Major—thanks for keeping it real and making me laugh, even when I don’t want to. My Spice Girls, you’re a blast and I love you. All you amazing people who’ve been so patient, kind, and loving—you know who you are, and I couldn’t do this without your support.

  To my wonderful friends at home—LeeAnne, for never giving up on this dream of mine; Cathy K, thanks for reading and letting Nick have your Jeep TJ! Debbie, Karla, Debi, and so many others; my church family for praying and standing in the gap for me, I love doing life with you.

  My precious family—Dad and Vivian, I’m so thrilled to celebrate these moments with you. My sister Pam and US family, I’m so grateful for you. And all the Canadian crew, thanks for taking the journey with me.

  My awesome and talented kids, Sarah, and Chris, and your loves—Randy and Deni—you all continue to leave me awestruck and amazed by everything you do; I love you so much. Thanks for keeping me laughing.

  And to save the best for last—my incredible husband, Stephen. Your love and encouragement and never-ending support every step of the way keeps me going. Thank you for all you do to help make this dream of mine a reality and for sharing it with me. I’m so grateful for our amazing life and love. I would be lost without you.

  “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

  —EPHESIANS 3:20–21 NASB

  About the Author

  Sarah E Photography 2015 All Rights Reserved

  Catherine West writes stories of hope and healing from her island home in Bermuda. When she’s not at the computer working on her next story, you can find her taking her Border Collie for long walks on the beach or tending to her roses and orchids. She and her husband have two grown children.

  Visit her online at catherinejwest.com

  Facebook: CatherineJWest

  Twitter: @cathwest