by Sadie Moss
“I can see that,” Kasian says, and he reaches across the table to lightly stroke his fingers across the back of my hand for a moment before pulling away again to look at his menu. It’s a sweet and reassuring gesture, and I feel like my heart is beating so fast it might explode inside my chest.
God, I really do like him, don’t I? Crap. What am I supposed to do about that?
After all, I’ve been lying to him about something massive. Okay, yeah, I’m lying to everyone, and I do feel bad about it with everyone—but I especially feel like shit right now.
Kasian’s so sweet and earnest. He’s being completely himself and not apologizing for it to anyone, just… doing his thing. I admire that. He’s being himself with me, being truthful with me, and I like him so very much. I wish that we were back home so I could be Gabbi, not Roxie, and date him for real.
But it’s not real.
None of this is.
Dammit, I don’t know what to do.
I try to relax into the evening and just enjoy it, to let myself have a few hours where I pretend that this is my life and I don’t have to worry about anything worse than if I get some food stuck in my teeth.
Throughout the rest of the meal, Kasian makes it easy to forget about everything else. He tells me stories about growing up, about his siblings and his parents, about magical mishaps he had as a kid. For someone who gives off an air of solemnity, and can be rather quiet, he’s a lot funnier than I expected. Just not in a loud, attention-grabbing kind of way.
We share a chocolate lava cake for dessert, and when we finish, he insists on paying, even though I have Roxie’s credit card.
“This is a date that I asked you out on. If you want to ask me out, you can pay next time.” He grins at me.
I grin back like an idiot. “Well, I can’t argue with that logic.”
We step outside, and Kasian offers me his arm. I take it and press myself against his side as we begin to walk. I notice he takes the scenic route back, cutting through a park, and with the night sky overhead and the streetlamps glowing warmly… it’s incredibly romantic.
I let out a contented little sigh, and Kasian smiles down at me.
“What?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just…”
He stops walking and turns me so that we’re facing one another. I’m pressed up against his chest, and I’m reminded of how broad he is, how strong he is, and how he doesn’t carry it like most people—how it’s so fluid on him, so quiet and unassuming, but still very much there. Still solid and grounding, just like he is.
“I think… if you don’t stop me…” Kasian reaches up, cupping my cheek, his thumb brushing slowly back and forth across my cheekbone. “…I’m going to kiss you.”
Oh, by all means, don’t let me be the one to stop you.
He leans in slowly, giving me plenty of time to change my mind, until I think he must be doing this on purpose as a tease, it’s maddening—and then his lips meet mine, and all thought flees.
I can feel this kiss all the way down to my toes. Kasian kisses with his entire body, like he’s pouring everything about himself into it, and I push up into his mouth, against his body, feeling off-balance but also knowing it’s okay, because he’s got his arms around me and he’ll hold me steady.
The kiss gets deeper and deeper, a little hint of tongue turning into a slick and yearning kiss that has me moaning, and then at last he pulls away, just as gently as he began.
I blink up at him, not quite sure I can still feel my legs.
Holy fuck. That was one hell of a kiss.
Kasian’s expression is soft and inviting, and I open my mouth to tell him to do it again—
When an inhuman shriek pierces the night air.
Chapter 17
My entire body jolts with surprise, and I wheel around just in time to see a crazed, humanoid creature jump out of the shadows.
It gives another earsplitting screech and lunges for me.
I scream in surprise and pain as this creature claws at me, grabbing me by the hair and my jacket and starting to drag me off the path into the bushes. I kick and punch, getting flashes of what the creature looks like as I struggle to fend it off.
It almost looks human, but it has elongated, sharply pointed ears, cheekbones that are not just sharp but seem to be… inverted, backward, going the wrong direction, and shockingly bright, electric blue hair that moves on its own as if it’s alive.
The creature is slim, with claws and odd patches on its skin that seem to be bark, or scales, or both, and it’s angrily chattering at me in a language I don’t understand.
“Let go of her!” Kasian snarls, and a bolt of magic hits the creature.
Shit. I can’t fight with magic, my charm’s going to be far too weak for that. Instead I elbow the creature in the sternum, then punch it in the face.
I might not exactly have fight training, but I have a ton of adrenaline running through my system right now. And after all those years of dance, my body is damn strong. Especially my legs. I kick at the creature until it stumbles away from me and slams against a large tree trunk, where Kasian pins it with some kind of spell.
Now that it’s still, I can make out its features better. It looks like… some kind of twisted elf or something.
“A fae,” Kasian growls. Then he rounds on the creature, stalking forward. “What do you want with her?”
His voice is low and deep and completely in control, and I find myself very glad he’s on my side. He’s one of the gentlest people I know, but that doesn’t mean he’s not capable of defending himself—or the people he cares about.
“She must pay,” the fae hisses, its sharp, unnaturally blue gaze landing on me. “She must pay for what she took! Must answer to Anzac. Yes, she must.”
“Who’s Anzac?”
“One of the fae kings,” Kasian says, still watching the pinned creature carefully. “There are a few of them.”
A fae king? What the hell?
“I’ve never met the guy in my life.” I shake my head, nerves roiling my stomach. “I don’t even know who he is.”
The fae laughs. “You lie, you lie, girl! I can see it in your eyes—you have a secret, you have a lie in your heart, yes. You stole from us, you stole, and now you must pay!”
Wait. He’s not talking about me. I’m not the one who met the fae king. I was so freaked out from being attacked that I assumed for a second that the fae was actually addressing me.
But he’s not.
He thinks he’s talking to Roxie.
Which means Roxie stole something from the fae.
Fuck.
Was that how our switch happened? Did she steal some valuable object from the wrong people, and it somehow activated the swap or got her into trouble? Dammit, what the hell was my double up to?
The fae lets out an awful snarl, revealing rows of sharp teeth like a shark’s. Then it unleashes a blast of magic so strong it sends both Kasian and me stumbling back. Kasian’s binding magic breaks, and the next instant, the fae hurls itself at me again.
I throw my hands up to do something, anything, but before I can even decide whether to fight the old fashioned way or try to cast a spell of some kind, the thing is on me, its hands at my throat, clinging to me like a vicious, pointy koala as I go crashing to the ground.
It lands on top of me, and even though the strange creature is thin, it’s way stronger than it looks. With its hands still wrapped around my throat, it straddles my waist, pinning me down.
I claw at its skinny arms and buck my hips, trying to knock it off of me, but it’s no good.
“Let me go!” I can barely force words out. I can barely breathe. My voice is raspy, high-pitched, scared.
“You give it back!” the fae shrieks. “Give back the disc!”
“I don’t have any disc!”
My heart is pounding so hard it’s making me lightheaded. Or maybe that’s from the lack of oxygen. I make a hook with my hand and yank down hard on th
e fae’s arm, finally dislodging his grip on my neck. But it keeps me pinned, using all its weight to keep me from moving as it drops its face to hover a few inches from mine.
“You lie, you thief, you sneaking thief—”
I shove against its bony chest, trying desperately to get it off me. I’m trapped. I can’t fucking move.
“I don’t have it! I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m not her—I’m not Roxie!”
I’m breathing heavily, my skin stinging from where I was scratched up, tears leaking out the corners of my eyes from being throttled, my entire body shaking with adrenaline.
The fae stares down at me, its preternatural eyes narrowing as it cocks its head.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Kasian stumble to his feet. The fae doesn’t pay him any mind. It doesn’t even seem to notice the large man; all its focus is on me.
It sniffs, one long inhale through its nose. Its nostrils flicker.
“There is… a strange smell about you… the secret you keep no longer hides you…”
With a roar, Kasian punches the fae, knocking it sideways. The thing goes sprawling off me, and Kasian’s hands move so fast they’re almost a blur as he mutters an incantation, sending out another spell. It hits the fae in the chest, and a cloud of something like fog begins to coalesce around the creature’s head.
It claws at its own neck as if it’s struggling to breathe, and when Kasian starts forward, it snarls at him.
“This is not over. Not over! King Anzac will not be denied,” it wheezes. Then there’s a strange noise like fabric tearing, and the fae is gone.
I sit up, my head pounding, feeling dizzy. Holy shit, that was a close call.
My throat still hurts from where the fae gripped it, but it’s not as bad as I thought. I’m starting to breathe normally, and I reach up to press against the skin, checking for bruises.
“Are you oka—”
My words break off as I look up at Kasian and see the expression on his face.
He’s staring down at me with this awful mixture of realization, anger, and horror, and it makes my blood run cold.
Oh, no.
He heard. He heard what I said to the fae.
He knows I’m not Roxie.
Chapter 18
Kasian is silent the rest of the walk back to Radcliffe. He doesn’t offer me his arm.
What was soft and intimate before is now uncomfortable, jarring, awkward, and I want to throw up. I mean, I might anyway, just out of fear and pain. That creature was so much stronger than anything I could fight off, and even though Kasian got in a few good hits, I bet if it had chosen to stay, it could’ve kicked both of our asses, and there wouldn’t have been a thing either of us could’ve done about it.
We get to my dorm, and Kasian still doesn’t speak. I know I should probably say something but… what could I even tell him? I screwed up, and I know it.
I nod at him as I step inside my building, ready for him to turn and walk away—except he follows me inside.
“What are you doing?” I whisper as I head for the stairs, glancing back over my shoulder. It’s late, after all, and I’d like to not disturb everyone. Especially with this kind of information.
Kasian doesn’t answer. He just follows me to my dorm room, tension radiating from his entire body. As soon as we step inside, he swings the door closed behind him. Then he stalks halfway across the room before turning around to stare at me, his dark eyes flashing.
“Are you serious? What you said to that fae, were you serious? You aren’t Roxie?”
He sounds angry—no, furious—but also heartbroken.
I’m surprised to feel myself tearing up a little. “I… yes. It’s true. That was the secret he, she, it, whatever that thing was—that’s what it saw in me. I’m not Roxie.”
Kasian runs a hand over his short-cropped hair, growling in agitation. He’s usually so calm and composed. This is the first time since I’ve known him that I’ve seen him really lose it.
“Fantastic. That’s fantastic. So you’ve been lying to me this entire time.” He stares at me, his face a mask of disbelief. “All the time we were studying, growing close, the conversations we had. I took you out on a date, I told you about my family, I let you in—we had sex!”
“I know, I know, you have every reason to be upset, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t avoid you forever. And I didn’t lie to you about the big things. I was honest about everything, just… not my name.”
“But you never told me the truth either. I thought—” He breaks off, narrowing his eyes. “What about the first time we hooked up?”
“That really was Roxie,” I whisper. “I only became… I’d only just gotten here when you pulled me into the corner after Angelique’s class that day and we made out.”
“Oh, fuck.” Kasian looks like he could smack himself for stupidity. “That’s why your grades have been slipping, isn’t it? You’re not really her. You don’t have Roxie’s knowledge.”
“I don’t have her magic, either.” I run my fingers over the charm at my throat. He knows the worst of it already. I might as well tell him everything. “That’s why I got this. It generates a bit of magic for me, but I don’t have any of my own. I’m from the Dull World.”
“You’re—what?!”
He’s looking at me like either I’m insane or he is, like I just yanked a rug out from under his feet and he’s free falling through space.
“That’s why I couldn’t tell you!” I blurt. “I didn’t know what you would do, what you’d think. I mean, you were there for when Angelique was talking about parallel twins and what happens when they swap places. I didn’t want to be arrested or put in a lab and studied or something, and it’s not even my fault! I didn’t do this. I don’t know how it happened. I just want to go home!”
“I’ve been falling in love with you,” Kasian snaps, and my stomach drops like I’m on a roller coaster. Oh, shit. “And this whole time, I thought you were her. Roxie was one way, she was absolutely one way, and I thought I was getting to see a new side of you—her—a side nobody else got to see, and instead, it turns out that you’re a completely different person! How am I supposed to feel about that? How do I know there aren’t other secrets you’re keeping from me?”
My chest aches. I feel shaky and queasy, and I just want to rewind this whole night, to go back to the moment when we were kissing under the streetlamp, and Kasian was falling in love with me and I was falling in love with him.
“You’re right.” I force words out past the lump in my throat. “And I don’t know what to say to fix that. I just know that I was caught up, okay? I was caught up in how I felt about you, and I was selfish, and I didn’t want to push you away even though it was the right thing to do because I couldn’t tell you the truth. I couldn’t risk it.”
“I never would have turned you in!”
“I didn’t know that!” I shoot back, my voice rising.
“Well, you know it now! I wouldn’t fucking—” He presses his lips together, breathing raggedly, his nostrils flaring. “Never, okay? I would’ve kept your secret.”
“Because you’re falling in love with me?”
“Even before that! Because I’m a decent fucking human being, Rox—whatever your name is.”
“Gabbi.” My voice grows quiet again, and that’s when I realize that we were shouting at each other a second ago. “My name is Gabbi Telford.”
“Gabbi,” Kasian repeats slowly, and my heart flutters.
God, I’ve wanted to hear him say my name, my real name, for so long. It feels like it’s been years of waiting for him to say that.
We’re standing only inches apart, I realize, both of us breathing hard, faces flushed. A million emotions seem to pulse in the space between us, thickening the air. I should take a step back—I start to—but just as I do, Kasian grabs me, and I stare up into his eyes and think, oh God, I really do have feelings for him, shit, and then we’re kissing.
“This,” I whisper desperately against his mouth as he hauls me against him. “This wasn’t a lie. The date, nothing, none of that, I swear. I want you—”
Kasian growls against my mouth, his grip on me tight, nearly bruising, his mouth plundering and taking, and it’s all I can do to cling to him. I want him so badly. He can’t hate me. He can’t leave—
Someone clears their throat behind me.
I freeze, all the blood seeming to drain out of my body.
Oh, no.
The door. Kasian closed it, but he never locked it.
We pull apart and turn to find Theo lounging in the doorway, arms folded, a smirk on his face.
“Fascinating conversation you two lovebirds are having,” he drawls.
Chapter 19
Theo looks so very smug, and my stomach drops.
How much did he hear?
I mean, if he heard anything at all, we’re screwed. We weren’t exactly being quiet, and we were talking a lot about how I’m… well, not of this world.
Nevertheless, my instinct to lie, to play the part, kicks in. I hate that by now it really is an instinct, but what else can I do?
“Oops, were we being too loud?” I ask, putting on a pleased, flirtatious sort of grin. “Be a dear and close the door on your way out, would you? It’s only going to get louder.”
Theo bursts out into laughter, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Oh, love, you don’t really think that’s going to work anymore, do you? Not that it worked all that well to begin with.”
“What are you talking about?” Kasian demands.
“I mean… this.” Theo waves his hand airily at me. “At least now I can stop pretending I believe her when she says she’s Roxie.”
“Wait. You—you knew?” I manage to choke out. What?
“Oh, of course, love. From our first meeting. I was suspicious in the hall that day, but after I went to your room that night, I was certain.”
“And, what, you didn’t say anything because…?”
“Because it was so much fun.” Theo grins at me, his gray eyes dancing. “It was adorable, really, watching you try to be her when I flirted with you. Trying to hide your stumbling and your blushing. You really aren’t used to men hitting on you like that, are you? No, don’t answer that, no need to lie—any more than you already have.”