It Had to Be You

by Lizzy Charles

  Her thoughtfulness, her naïveté, crushes my chest. Until now, I didn’t feel like our fake relationship could hurt anyone but us, but now Ainsley’s revealed her deepest secret because she thinks I’m her brother’s girlfriend.

  And he let her. Why?

  “I’ve got to run back inside.” Ainsley squeezes my hand. “Maybe you can tell me about the colonel later?”

  “Absolutely,” I say.

  She shoves James’s shoulder like only a sister can get away with and bounds back up the steps.

  “Wow.” I grab the edge of the steps. “Do any of your friends know?”

  “A few know I have a sister, but no one has any idea she goes to this school, let alone is quiet little Ainsley.”

  “Thanks for sharing with me. I’m lucky to have both of you.”

  He stands up, offering his hand to help me off the step before we run off to our next class. “Dinner tonight?” When our skin touches, the warmth of his palm makes my soul sigh so deeply that I force myself to pull away.

  None of this is good for me.

  “You okay?” He holds open the door.

  “Yup. Just realized that, since we had an extra meal together, we should probably not hold hands. Maybe we should walk back to class separately to keep things balanced?” I need more than a moment to get my head on straight. Ainsley is trusting me with her biggest secret, and all this time I’ve been lying to her face, about her own brother.

  “Sure. I’ll see you at dinner, then?”

  “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” I may lose both of them with this break up. “Thomas has been texting me all day about the Berlin Wall. It’ll be much easier to just sit down with him to explain what I know.”

  James grasps the doorframe. “See you later then?”

  “Yup.”

  I drop my head to text, but really, I’m watching James float through the crowded hallway. People call out his name, and his smile triples when he walks onto the quad with the football team. His step has more energy than I’ve seen in a long time, and the farther he gets away from me the more magnetic he becomes.

  No wonder he wants to break up with me. It wouldn’t be fair to tie someone like James down.

  Chapter Sixteen

  James

  “High knees, high knees!” Coach bellows from the sidelines.

  My quads burn like a Roman candle and—God—it feels amazing to torch out all my excess energy. Being around Edelweiss ignites me, and I’m finding that the less we talk and the less we hold hands, the more edgy I’ve become. Not being able to sit down with her for dinner last night sucked.

  She is everything I didn’t know I wanted from a girl. All week I’ve walked her to class and dropped her off with not even a kiss on the cheek, terrified she’d realize I’m teetering, about to fall head first into her world with my heart in my hands, begging her to take it. Our rules keep me in check—though, I have to admit I’ve dodged the getting-caught-making-out rule completely. The temptation would be too much, and I know I’d end up letting my lips find hers if we ducked into a dark corner together.

  Which is exactly why I can’t tell her how I feel. I don’t even know how to be a boyfriend. The rules are the only reason we look like we’re a real couple. Without them I’d be messing up in every way possible, and I can’t bear the thought of hurting her.

  “Parson! Backpedal, backpedal!”

  Right, practice. I propel backward. The younger receivers already have a twenty-yard jump. When I hit the fifty-yard line, I sprint back to keep pace with them. Then, we repeat the cycle.

  Edelweiss deserves better than me. Maybe I should introduce her to Gavin. He’d be able to write songs for her.

  “Parson!” yells Coach Davvy. “Get off the field. Didn’t you hear me? Practice is over.”

  My head snaps up, and the entire team is staring at me while I’m still driving up high knees. “Sorry about that. Just really wanted to push myself.” The clock on the scoreboard shows that practice ended two minutes ago.

  “Admirable that you push yourself, but I expect you to stop when you hear my whistle.”

  “I understand, sir.”

  I follow the team back into the locker room. The buzz from the conversations and the fluorescent lights makes the hair on my neck stand on end.

  Mason nudges me. “Bet I know what you’re thinking about.”

  Proctor pulls off his shoulder pads. “Come on, you’ve got to let us in on the plan.” He reaches into his locker and grabs a toothpick to place between his teeth. He’s been doing it since the beginning of junior year because a cheerleader at an away game told him he looks cool. For the record, he doesn’t.

  “What plan?”

  “For the senior prank.” He hits the back of my head. “Thought you’d have the details ironed out by now. Last week the only info you had was that we’d be pulling it off during the Ghoul Ball.”

  “Right.” Talking about the prank is doable, since it really isn’t much of a prank at all. Dad would be livid if I pulled a prank that breaks rules, but, since Creighton approved guest vouchers, now I can finally share my epic plan. And the best part? Just because we aren’t breaking rules doesn’t mean they know that. For all they know, this will be the most outrageous moment in Brockmore’s history.

  “We’ve got to do something memorable. What if we egg Creighton’s office?” Pickles pounds his fist on the seat, and Proctor agrees.

  “What if we change her computer to autocorrect the word ‘thank’ to ‘fuck’ so all of her emails to parents would end with ‘fuck you’?” Proctor says.

  Mason groans. “No. We need better than that. A freshman could think up something like that.”

  “Agreed.” Nothing will happen to Julie on my watch. Last year the senior guys parked Julie’s car in a blown-up swimming pool filled with bubbles. Because the bozos stole it in the middle of the night and let it sit in water, it had to be towed away for repairs. “Let’s think bigger than Creighton this year. This is our opportunity to shape the legend of Brockmore Academy.” Excitement racks down my spine. “That’s why I want to stage a zombie attack at the Halloween party.”

  “That seems a bit childish, doesn’t it?”

  “Not if we aren’t the zombies. We’ll dress up in regular costumes—ghosts, Captain America, whatever you want—but we’ll all be ‘killed’ in a zombie attack that the school won’t see coming. It will be legendary.”

  “I like this,” Pickles says. “But how?”

  “I’ve already contacted the captain of Dayton’s football team. They’ll dress up as zombies and raid the school. We’ll have them target the senior guys, pretending to bite us and eat our brains. We’ll have a fake scrimmage on their field where we can practice everything. It’s already scheduled for Saturday morning.”

  Proctor grins. “Think of the fake blood capsules. Oh! Mason, you could make that Jell-O-applesauce concoction that your mom makes for Thanksgiving, and we could all have packets to squeeze to make it look like our brains are spilling out onto the dance floor!”

  “I like your thinking, Proctor. Tonight, let’s round up all the senior guys to finalize it.”

  “I’m in, too.” Mason pulls off his workout shorts and boxers, hanging in all his questionable glory.

  I toss him my towel to cover up. “So let’s meet tonight at 9:30?”

  “Where are you going?” Proctor asks.

  “Dinner.”

  “Can’t you go later? We could start hammering out some details now.”

  “Nope.” Any other girl would be easy to ditch with an excuse, but with only five days left, I don’t want to waste a moment together.

  Mason shakes his head. “I never thought I’d see the day when a girl had whipped James Parson.”

  “Whipped.” That word always makes me cringe. I never wanted to be that guy. I was always adamant that guys with long-term girlfriends give up too much freedom.

  I can’t help but laugh at myself while I walk by Maso
n, giving him a sharp bop on his head. I was such a fool before Edelweiss stepped into my life, thinking guys were weak for being considerate of their girlfriends. Edelweiss is inescapable, and I like it that way. Thoughts of her swirl through my brain 99 percent of my day, allowing a measly one percent for school and football. “Have fun eating your burrito with your Xbox tonight.”

  Proctor laughs at Mason. “Get it? Because you’re single?”

  Just like I will be soon.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Edelweiss

  One sip of coffee and I know I’ve made the wrong choice. I push it aside and clutch the cool glass of water, my stomach churning like I’m at sea.

  Today, we end. Looks like I’ll be able to scratch break up with someone off my stupid list. Why on earth did I think making a list to guide my life experiences at Brockmore would be a good thing? Sure, it felt nice to scratch through the little things, but the big stuff like this bites. I never knew all this would hurt so much.

  I glance across the room to James, who’s still piling doughnuts on his plate at the buffet, and my rib cage feels like it’s going to shatter. Everything about my life at Brockmore is about to change. Nothing will feel the same without hanging out with him every day.

  Today we bend the rules to implement phase one of our breakup, which is to have a silent breakfast with each other and make it look like something’s off between us.

  At least I won’t have to pretend to smile about all this.

  “Saved you a seat.” I nudge out his chair with my toe for him.

  “Thanks.” He glances down at my full bowl of oatmeal. “Not hungry?”

  The moment I swallow one lump, another one moves in. I take a quick sip from my water before I even try to speak. “Not feeling so great, to be honest.”

  He doesn’t need to know that I’ve been nauseous since last night at the thought of never holding his hand again or being able to study his dimple.

  “Do you want me to walk you to the nurse?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. Just feeling a bit queasy.”

  “Nervous?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Don’t be.” He chomps into his doughnut. “We’ll be arguing out on the patio tonight. No one will hear a word we say. As long as we toss our arms about and you give me a good shove and stomp away, people will figure out we’re over.”

  I scrunch up my nose. “Shoving you doesn’t feel right.”

  “What?” He puffs out his chest with a grin. “Don’t think I can handle it?”

  “James.” I drop my voice. “This is supposed to be a sullen breakfast, right?”

  “Oh, right.” He drops his eyes, and for a few minutes we sit in silence while he eats and I poke at my oatmeal.

  “How will I know it’s time?” I ask. “You still haven’t told me anything about the prank.”

  “I’ll come find you. You just have fun with Tuti, Ainsley, and Charlotte. But, listen, when you hear the music shift into that windy theme song from that God-awful movie…”

  “Let Me Go?”

  “Don’t say it.” He shivers in his seat. “Just, when you hear the song, get off the dance floor and away from the windows. Better yet, go hide behind the student council booth.”

  “What exactly are you planning to do?”

  He shrugs, standing up with his empty tray. “Probably best not to walk you to class this morning.”

  “Agreed.” My stomach feels rancid. A visit to the nurse’s office might not be that bad of an idea. “And you won’t be around for dinner?”

  “No. I’ll be with Proctor and Gavin getting things organized.”

  “So, I’ll see you at the Ghoul Ball?” I tuck both sides of my chopped hair behind my ears.

  “I’ll meet you on the dance floor.”

  Twenty minutes later, I’m hugging a bowl in the nurse’s office with a cool cloth pressed to my forehead, struggling to keep the pressure in my stomach at bay. She’s reminded me eight times since I walked through the door that if I vomit or have a fever, I’m not allowed to go to the dance tonight.

  And that’s not happening. If I have to check break up off my list than at least I’m going to enjoy checking off go to a costume party. Plus, James wants out, and I won’t let him down. Even if it breaks my heart.

  With a little ginger and acupressure on the wrist, I finally get relief. The nurse, a plump woman with the smile of an ex-smoker, places a blanket over me and flicks off the lights.

  Finally, sleep.

  “Edelweiss, you have a visitor.” Her voice drifts into my dreams, calling me back from a pointless wandering of campus in my robe, barefoot in the snow. The curtain around my bed crinkles as she tugs it open an inch. “Do you want him to come in?”

  I rub my eyes, gazing at the clock. Four p.m.? Whoa. I slept the entire day. “I’m feeling better, thank you. If it’s okay, I’d like to head back to the dorms.”

  She nods, scooping up my blanket for me and handing me her card. “If you get sick in the middle of the night, give me a call. I don’t like how pale you’re looking.”

  “I will.”

  James sits in the chair on the other side of the nurse’s suite. My eyes sting. Ugh. He jumps up. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” I tug my navy cardigan back on around my blouse. “I feel off.”

  He runs his hands down my arms, leaving a trail of delicious warmth. “Maybe we should postpone this?”

  “No.” Dragging this out one more day will only make it worse, and I’ve always been a “rip it off like a Band-Aid” girl. “You’ve planned everything perfectly. Let’s do it tonight.”

  “Are you sure?” He steps closer, bumping his head against my forehead a bit. He hasn’t been this close since he kissed me on the front steps of Brockmore almost two weeks ago. My heartbeat pumps in my ears, and everything in me screams to rise up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his.

  Edelweiss, he does not want you. He’s your boy friend, not your boyfriend.

  I take a step out of his arms and open the door for myself. “I’m positive.”

  “Let me walk you to the dorms.”

  “Why?”

  He gulps, stepping forward and linking his fingers through mine. “Because this is the last time I can, and I want to.”

  He can’t have any idea how much I’ll miss this. To him I’m a distant friend’s daughter he promised to look out for, or else. To me? He’s what makes the cold walls of Brockmore warm.

  We both walk slowly through the atrium, where some students are waiting for the school’s vans to take a last-minute trip into town to costume hunt. When he drops me off at the dormitory he leans in, kissing me softly on the cheek. “Text me if you’re too sick. We can always reschedule.”

  “I’ll be fine. You go focus on pulling off that prank. Just…” I sigh. “Don’t get caught, okay? I like having you around.”

  “No need to worry, Edelweiss. There’s no way I can get in trouble for what’s about to happen tonight. Trust me.” He winks as he walks away.

  As he does, the lounge door flies open, and Emma pounces out with her friends and a high-pitched giggle. She glances at both of us and an odd, almost calm expression graces her perfect face. “Ready for tonight?” she asks.

  Neither of us responds, mostly because she doesn’t give us a chance too. Instead she bounds past us with her gaggle of friends, escaping down the grand stairway.

  Once inside my dormitory, familiar giggles echo down the hall. I lean up against my open bedroom door, and I can’t help but laugh with my friends. Charlotte jumps from bed to bed wearing fairy wings and holding a wand.

  “There’s our Tinkerbell!” Tuti pulls me into the room. “We picked up our costumes this afternoon.”

  “I thought we were going to be ghosts.”

  “Fresh out of ghost costumes, but…” Charlotte picks up a plastic bag and tosses me a skimpy looking Tinkerbell outfit. “These are more fun.”

  “Who are you?”

  “Tinkerbell�
��s friend Rosetta, of course.” She laughs, tugging out a small red dress from some plastic wrap.

  “I’m Silvermist.” Tuti puts on a pair of shimmering blue wings. “I’ve got the perfect glitter eyeshadow for this.”

  “Ainsley’s on board with this?”

  “I didn’t give her a choice. She makes the perfect Vidia.”

  “Because I’m pissed off?” Ainsley walks out of our closet, wearing a tight little maroon number that shows off her killer legs.

  “Will these even work with the dress code?” I tug out the green little dress. There’s no way this won’t show my butt when I bend over.

  “Don’t wig out. The fabric stretches a lot and there’s a built-in leotard.” Tuti yanks off her blouse and slips out of her skirt, then shimmies into her blue fairy dress.

  “Plus, we got this in case they decide to call us on the length of the dress.” Charlotte pulls out a translucent, shimmering cloth and pins it around her waist as a skirt overlay. “Technically, we aren’t breaking any rules. This is longer than my uniform.”

  Ainsley spins in the mirror. “Thank God it’ll be dark in the banquet hall.”

  Tuti pushes out her desk chair. “Hush, Ainsley. You know you look hot, now come over here so I can do your makeup.”

  “And Edelweiss, wiggle your butt into that costume so we know it can cover your ass.” Charlotte nods to another bag on my bed. “We bought a size up, just in case.”

  “Charlotte!” Ainsley scolds.

  “What? I’d kill for a butt like that!”

  Chapter Eighteen

  James

  The DJ’s purple lights reflect off the spiderweb-coated diamonds of the chandelier. Fog swirls up to my knees from the dance floor, the chalk scent clouding my nostrils. The dance floor is packed, and for perhaps the first time in Brockmore history, I swear it’s flooded with more guys than girls—the result of both the fog hiding their steps and the anticipation of the upcoming zombie attack.

  Pretty sure we bought every fake blood capsule within a five-mile radius, not to mention what we ordered from Amazon.

  The DJ switches the mix, upping the bass so the deep vibrations rattle my rib cage. The beat is intoxicating, people toss up their hands and get low.