Holding On

by Pamela Clare

  “Look who’s back.”

  Kenzie knew Conrad must have heard, too.

  He ignored it, releasing her hand to shake Bear’s. “Thanks, Bear.”

  But Bear pulled him into a hug. Bear was one of the few men around who matched Conrad in height, but when he spoke, his voice was soft and shy, deep and yet somehow childlike. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

  Kenzie’s throat went tight.

  Conrad clapped him on the back. “I wasn’t sure about that myself, friend.”

  Kenzie motioned toward the table where Bear had been sitting. “It looks like you’ve got a nice meal.”

  Bear gave a nod. “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his deed.”

  She reached out, squeezed his hand. “Enjoy your supper.”

  The Team table was packed. Most of the primary members had turned out, probably because word had spread that Harrison would be there. Megs and Ahearn. Austin, Lexi, and little Emily. Eric, Victoria, and baby Caden. Chaska, Naomi, and Winona. Bahir. Malachi. Sasha. Isaac. Nicole. Creed. Jesse, Ellie and the twins. Dave Hatfield and his new girlfriend.

  Was her name Amy? Kenzie couldn’t keep up.

  There were many hugs and handshakes and a few introductions, as Harrison had never met Bahir or Naomi. Kenzie used the distraction to slip away and find Joe.

  “Hey, Joe.” She lowered her voice. “Harrison’s here.”

  Joe’s face split in a wide grin. “That son of a bitch. It’s about damned time.”

  “Please don’t make a big deal out of it. No toasts or speeches. The attention makes him uncomfortable.”

  Joe nodded. “Okay. Got it. But I am calling Rain.”

  Kenzie started back toward the table, only to find herself waylaid by Cheyenne.

  She lowered her voice to a whisper, a knowing smile on her face. “I hear you and Conrad got together. Is he as well hung as I’ve always imagined he was?”

  Kenzie gaped at Cheyenne, heat rushing into her face. “I’m not sure where you heard that, but it’s not true. As for your question, I have no idea.”

  That wasn’t exactly true. She’d been able to feel his erection through his jeans and knew he was well endowed. But no way was she going to talk about the private details of Harrison’s anatomy with Cheyenne or anyone else.

  “Bummer.” Cheyenne gave Kenzie a disappointed frown and walked away.

  Kenzie arrived back at the table to find Harrison perusing his menu. She didn’t really need to look. “I think I’ve eaten everything on this menu a thousand times.”

  “It all feels new to me. I haven’t eaten any of this for a long time. Oh, man, they’re doing a Philly cheesesteak sandwich now?”

  “Philly cheesesteak a la Colorado.” Joe’s voice came from behind them. “It’s got jalapeños and pepper jack.”

  Harrison grinned, got to his feet. “Hey, Joe.”

  The two men embraced.

  “Welcome home. We missed you.”

  “Thanks. I hear you and Rain finally figured out that you belong together.”

  Joe laughed. “Yeah. It only took us twenty years. She’s on her way into town. She wants to see you, and she’s bringing Angel, our baby girl.”

  Harrison opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by a shriek.

  “Oh, my God. Conrad!” Marcia, the bartender, stood a few feet away from the table, staring wide-eyed at Harrison. She dashed up to him, planted a kiss on his cheek. “Whatever you want to drink—it’s on me. I’m so glad you’re back.”

  Harrison’s gaze met Kenzie’s. “So am I.”

  Conrad finished the best Philly cheesesteak sandwich he’d ever eaten while Rain, who sat beside him, logged into a website on her smartphone to show him photos of her and Joe’s wedding. It wasn’t really Conrad’s thing, but he wasn’t about to say that.

  He’d told Kenzie that stepping into Knockers was like stepping back in time, but really it was like taking a jump forward. This place was the same, but his friends’ lives had moved on. Who said nothing ever changed in Scarlet?

  Rain held out her phone. “This is Knockers all decorated.”

  Conrad was impressed. “Wow.”

  That seemed to be his go-to word these days, but what else could he say? Pine garlands. Red roses. A zillion white lights. In these photos, Knockers had been transformed from brewpub to Christmas romance fairyland.

  “This is Joe in his tux.”

  “He cleans up well.”

  Joe had always been a loner, an eccentric millionaire who didn’t share details about his life with anyone. Getting together with Rain had changed something in him, and it was there on his face.

  What was it like to a love a woman so much that just being with her transformed everything?

  Conrad would probably never know.

  He glanced over at Kenzie, got a hitch in his chest. She sat on his other side, holding little Angel, a look of adoration on her face, the baby’s tiny fist wrapped tightly around her pinky finger.

  Rain scrolled to the next photo. “Here I am with Lark.”

  Conrad turned his attention back to Rain. Although she looked stunning in her silvery white wedding gown, it was the image of Kenzie that knocked him flat. She stood off to one side in a beaded dress in bright, screaming red, the cloth clinging to her body like a shimmering second skin.

  His mouth watered. “Holy shit.”

  Kenzie apparently thought he was reacting to the image of Rain in her gown. “She was the most beautiful bride, wasn’t she?”

  All Conrad could see was Kenzie. “Beautiful.”

  “Hey, Conrad! Get over here!” Herrera stood beside the climbing wall, where Sasha was on belay for Nicole, who was crushing the crux move on a 5.11 route.

  Conrad shook his head. “Not tonight.”

  Rain scrolled to the next photo. “This is the ceremony. Chaska’s grandfather officiated. He got stuck in Scarlet, thanks to the snow. He was wonderful.”

  Conrad leaned in, saw an image of Joe and Rain standing together in front of Old Man Belcourt. Kenzie was there, too, this time from behind, the back of her dress dipping down toward the luscious curves of her ass. “It looks like a happy day.”

  Rain smiled, her gaze on the photo. “It was the happiest day of my life.”

  “Conrad, come on, man!” Herrera called. “Rope up. I’ll be your belay slave.”

  Herrera was a damned good climber and utterly fearless, but sometimes he could be a pain in the ass.

  “I’m trying to have a conversation here!” Conrad called back, then apologized to Rain. “Sorry for the interruption.”

  “That’s it, really. I won’t bore you with the rest of the photos.”

  “A wedding and a baby. When Megs told me in Nepal, I thought, ‘It’s about damned time.’ I’m really happy for the two of you.”

  “You done talking yet?” Creed walked up beside him.

  “I don’t feel like climbing.”

  “What?” Creed laughed as if he’d said something insane. “That’s loco, man.”

  From across the table, Hawke met Conrad’s gaze, silent understanding passing between them. Hawke got to his feet. “I’ll hit the wall with you, Herrera. Come on.”

  Herrera nodded. “Let’s go.”

  “He’s not trying to be a jerk,” Kenzie whispered. “He missed you. Every time we all got together, he was the first one to ask about you.”

  “We did a lot of good climbing together before …” Conrad didn’t want to think about that. “You looked pretty good in those wedding photos, too, you know. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

  Kenzie gave him that sweet smile he loved so much. “Thanks.”

  Suddenly, Conrad needed to get her alone. “You ready to go? I’ll get the check.”

  Rain put a hand on his arm. “Your money is no good here, Conrad.”

  Conrad was touched. “Thanks, Rain, but you don’t have to do that.”

  “We came close to losing you,
and I’m just so glad to have you back.” Tears filled Rain’s eyes. “Sorry. Postpartum hormones.”

  She sniffed, wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “Your dinner is on us. Yours, too, Kenzie. I heard Gizmo saved a couple of lives today.”

  “Thanks, Rain.” Kenzie got to her feet and carried Angel back to her mother, carefully placing the baby in Rain’s arms. “Thanks for letting me hold her. She’s absolutely precious.”

  Conrad didn’t want to drag out the goodbyes, so he stood and glanced down the length of the table. “See you all around.”

  “Take care.”

  “See you soon.”

  “Thanks for your help today.”

  He walked with Kenzie out to the vehicle, his hand resting against the small of her back, his mind fixed on the image of her wearing that bright red dress. “How about we go to your place?”

  Her gaze shot to his. “What do you have in mind?”

  “Oh, I can think of a few things.”

  What did Harrison mean by that? Board games? Netflix? Conversation?

  Kenzie hoped he meant hot, screaming sex.

  An image of him fucking her up against the wall darted through her mind. Then again, she’d hiked for an hour or so today and had gotten all sweaty. She needed a shower—and she had responsibilities.

  She glanced at her watch. “I need to stop by the kennel and pick up the pups.”

  “Right.” Harrison drove the two of them to her house and went with her to the kennel, where April, one of her part-time staff, was getting ready to close up and go home. Kenzie helped settle the dogs for the night, while Harrison played with Gabby, who had come bounding over to him the moment they’d stepped through the door. Then they brought the dogs back to Kenzie’s place.

  Harrison carried Gabby in one hand and her crate in another. “I don’t want Gizmo to hurt her.”

  “Oh, Gizmo would never do that.” Then Kenzie remembered her lie. “I mean, he wouldn’t hurt her. He just gets, you know, grumpy with her.”

  The day had been colder than she’d anticipated. She left her heat on low all day, so her house was chilly.

  “Will Gabby be safe if I put her down?” Harrison asked.

  Kenzie nodded. “I’m going to put her in her crate soon anyway.”

  Harrison set Gabby on the floor and watched her bound after Gizmo, concern on his face. When Gizmo dropped into his dog bed and allowed Gabby to curl up with him, Harrison seemed to relax. “I’ll get a fire going in your wood stove.”

  “Thanks.” Kenzie wasn’t used to having help, and there was something about seeing a big, handsome man carrying firewood that she liked.

  By the time she got Gizmo and Gabby settled, Harrison had a blazing fire going, its warmth spreading through the house.

  And then it was just the two of them.

  Anticipation twined with nervousness in Kenzie’s stomach. “Can I make you some coffee or get you a beer or a glass of—”

  “I’m not thirsty.” He drew her against him. “Do you know what really kept me awake last night? It wasn’t just Gabby. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about all the things I want to do to you.”

  Kenzie’s pulse skipped. “I … I need a shower. The rescue. Hiking. I got sweaty.”

  He bent down, nuzzled her throat. “You smell delicious to me, but if you really want a shower, I’d be happy to help.”

  Part of Kenzie was delighted by this, but she hadn’t forgotten what he’d said to her yesterday. “What changed? Yesterday, you said this would be a mistake, that you wouldn’t be good for me, and tonight …”

  Tonight, he was talking about getting naked with her.

  What about your objections?

  Did she have any?

  Oh, yeah. No climbers.

  Well, to hell with that.

  He drew back, looked down into her eyes, his expression serious. “I’ve got nothing to offer you and no idea where my life is going or what the next few months will bring. I can’t promise you much, but I’ll never mistreat you or disrespect you. You’re the only part of my life that makes sense right now, Kenzie. I want you, and if that’s a mistake, then it’s the best mistake I’ve made in a long damned time.”

  Kenzie’s heart all but melted. “Kiss me.”

  Harrison backed her up against the wall, tilted her face upward, and took her mouth with his.

  Chapter 10

  At his first taste of her, Conrad forgot that he’d meant to go slowly, days of suppressed desire for her igniting in his veins like a backdraft. He’d meant to be gentle, but he wasn’t. He pressed his lips hard to hers, claimed her mouth with his tongue, his fingers fisting in her hair. Some part of him wondered whether he was being too rough, but then she bit his lower lip, giving as good as she got, meeting his tongue with her own, stroking his erection through the fabric of his jeans.

  Ah, Kenzie.

  Why had he waited so long to do this?

  He was about to scoop her into his arms and carry her upstairs to her bedroom or the bathroom when he remembered.

  Condoms.

  Fuck.

  He dragged his lips from hers. “I need to drive to the store and get condoms.”

  How could he forget something like that? He knew better than most people that success depended on having the right gear.

  “Food Mart closed fifteen minutes ago.” She pressed her hand harder against his erection, the sensation almost painfully arousing.

  He was about to let loose a string of profanity.

  She cut him off with a laugh. “Don’t worry. I bought some this morning. They’re upstairs in my bedroom.”

  A jolt of raw lust shot through him to know she’d been thinking of having sex with him, planning for it, preparing for it.

  “God, woman, I adore you. What the hell are we doing down here?”

  They kicked off their shoes, then she took his hand and led him upstairs.

  “I’ll meet you in the shower.” She turned away to her bedroom, probably to get the condoms, leaving him to get acquainted with her bathroom.

  There was an antique claw-foot tub in front of the window and a narrow walk-in shower stall in the corner. The walls were painted a cool shade of white, pale stone tiles on the floor. He found a couple of fluffy white towels, hung them on the rack outside the shower, and then peeled off his shirt just as she walked in behind him.

  He turned, stopped, and stared, blood rushing to his groin.

  She had stripped out of her clothes and slipped into a white silk robe, her dark hair hanging free around her shoulders, the thin fabric outlining her body in tantalizing detail, her nipples dark and pebbled, the skin of one thigh exposed.

  “I hope these work.” She handed him a box.

  Condoms. Extra thin and extra large.

  He grinned. “What if I need Tom Thumb size?”

  She laughed, her gaze locked with his as she unzipped his jeans, took his erection in hand, and circled her thumb over the straining head. “I don’t think so.”

  He sucked in a breath, the muscles of his belly jerking tight. “Kenzie.”

  They worked together to strip away his jeans, Conrad catching his socks with his thumbs as he pulled the denim free. Hell if he would get caught in the sock gap—that awkward moment when a man stood there wearing nothing but a stiff dick and socks.

  Definitely not sexy.

  He tossed his jeans aside and then stood there, letting Kenzie explore him.

  She ran her hands over his pecs and down his abdomen to his obliques. “God, you’re gorgeous. I could stare at you all day.”

  He’d never been called gorgeous before. Ripped. Hot. But never gorgeous. Then again, most of the women he’d been with had been climbing groupies who only wanted his dick—and maybe bragging rights. “I hope not all day. I had other things in mind.”

  “Oh, yeah? Like what?” Kenzie took his cock in hand again and stroked his length, her touch making his breath catch.

  Damn. “Like that.”

 
He willed himself to hold still, fought the urge to thrust into her hand, knowing he had to stop her sooner rather than later. It had been so long since a woman had touched him, and he didn’t want this to end before it began. Besides, it was his turn.

  He reached out, tugged on the tie that held her bathrobe in place and pushed it from her shoulders. It fell in a puddle of white at her ankles, leaving her bared to him.

  He sucked in a breath, his heart hitting his breastbone at the sight of her. “You are … beautiful.”

  A dusky nipple peaked through silky strands of dark hair, her breasts full enough to fill his hands. Her narrow waist drew attention to the curves of her hips. Her belly wasn’t flat, but gently rounded, a triangle of thick, dark curls between her thighs.

  He wanted to touch every inch of her, taste every inch of her.

  She was nervous too, her breathing fast and shallow.

  Or maybe that was arousal.

  He took the weight of her breasts into his hands and stroked their dark tips with his thumbs, watching as her body tensed and her eyes drifted shut. “You like that.”

  “Yes.”

  He moved his hands over her skin, savoring the feel of her as she had done with him—the fullness of her breasts, the flare of her hips, the silk of her skin. Everything about her was soft and sensual and feminine. Then he reached down and cupped her, giving his fingers free rein, seeking out her hidden places, stroking her clit.

  She grabbed onto his free arm as if to steady herself, her nails biting into his skin.

  He kept it up, watched the effect his touch had on her, her breathing faster now, her head falling back. But hadn’t she said something about a shower?

  He withdrew his hand, pressed his forehead to hers, lust pounding in his veins. “If you don’t start your shower, I’m going to fuck you right here.”

  Pulse pounding, Kenzie took a few unsteady steps to the shower, opened the door, and reached inside to start the water. She fumbled with the faucet, the ache Harrison had conjured between her thighs making it almost impossible to think.

  Focus!

  Turning on the water shouldn’t be a challenge.

  Then again, she’d never expected to take a shower with Harrison. She had fantasized about him so many times, wanted him for so long, but she’d never imagined that he was attracted to her, too.