Dream Smashers

by Angela Carlie

  She presses her lips together, smearing shiny pink evenly. “Are you done?”

  “Yeah. But I’m still mad.”

  We walk out of the bathroom, thankful for fresh air. The boys sit at the table, staring at the pizza like starving dogs. When Evan’s gaze makes it over to us, he stands again, and Caleb follows.

  The standing and stuff is starting to creep me out. It’s not like we’re royalty or anything.

  “Sorry about that. You could’ve started eating.” I slide into the booth. Rainy scoots next to me, trapping me. Evan sits in front of me, grinning.

  “Would you like a slice?” He uses the spatula to pick up a slice of pizza and puts it on the plate in front of me. “It’s real cheesy.”

  And, uh, so are you. “Thanks.”

  I can’t get over how sparkly his eyes are—like they’ve been sprayed with a coat of Rainy’s shiny lip gloss, but without the pink tinge. He seems happy, even while he eats. People aren’t usually happy for no reason. Maybe he really likes pizza.

  Caleb, on the other hand, seems downright frustrated, like he can’t think of a single word to say. There’s awkwardness painted around him that Rainy isn’t helping out with. She’s chowing down pizza and slurping her soda like nobody’s business.

  “So, uh, where do you guys go to school?” I ask to break the silence.

  Evan says, “We’re homeschooled.”

  “Really? Weird.” I sip my root beer. “I’ve never met anyone that was homeschooled. I bet it’s awesome not to have to get up so early every morning and deal with lame teachers.”

  “We still have to get up, but, yeah, no teachers.”

  “Are you related or something?” I point fingers at Evan and Caleb.

  “We’re cousins. But, we don’t live together or anything like that.” Evan stuffs half a slice of pizza into his mouth.

  Caleb grabs another piece. “We might as well though. Our family is pretty close and we see each other all the time.”

  “Cool,” I say.

  Evan shrugs. “We’re very blessed.”

  Rainy’s eyes bug out for a second. She takes another bite. I can imagine what she’s thinking: “Fruit Loops.”

  “Good pizza,” I say.

  Rainy snorts soda then coughs to cover it up. “Yeah, this is great pizza.”

  I kick her under the table. “Evan—do you, uh, play any sports?” Goodie guys like to talk about sports, I think.

  “Not really. I run though.” He points to Caleb. “We’re training to run a marathon on New Year’s.”

  “Really?” I ask. “I can’t even run a mile, let alone, like…eh. How many miles are in a marathon anyway?”

  Caleb grabs another slice of pizza. “Twenty-six. It’ll be our first marathon. We’ve run in half-marathons before, but never a full one.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal.

  Rainy sets her soda down and swallows. “No, seriously? That’s flippin’ crazy. Why do people run in marathons anyway? It’s not like someone is chasing them for twenty-six miles. I just don’t get it.”

  Evan laughs. Caleb crinkles his brows, offended like.

  I say, “Some people like to challenge themselves to do better and achieve goals. And some people actually like running.”

  Evan looks at me, still smiling.

  “Is that why you do it? Or is there another reason?” I ask.

  “It is for me,” Evan says. “When we ran the half-marathon last year, it gave me a great sense of accomplishment to cross the finish line. I had to dig deep to find the strength. It was like being in a meditative state.” He pauses. “This may sound a little corny…”

  Not any cornier than anything else about him. But he’s cute, so that’s okay.

  “…but when I get to a point where I think I can’t go any further, where every single fiber of my body hurts, I pray. And when I do, it feels like He is running next to me, pushing me further to the finish line. That feeling’s too great to put into words.” His gaze moves to Rainy and then back to me. “Does that make sense?”

  I nod my head, slowly.

  “No,” Rainy says with her mouth full.

  Evan blushes and folds the paper napkin, over and over until it’s a tiny square. “But anyway…” And lifts a piece of pizza into the air. “Good pizza, huh?”

  He laughs. I laugh. “Yeah,” I say. It is good. He is good. He reminds me of a fairy tale prince who hasn’t a worry in the world. Of course he’ll get his princess and rule his land in peace and harmony. He’ll live in a castle and be fed tasty meals and wear the finest clothes. His princess will have darling children and they will live happily ever after. What does he have to worry about? He’s perfectly happy. His prayers are most likely often answered.

  My gaze freezes on his face for a full two seconds before synapses trigger the muscles in my eyes to roll away. I catch my breath, shake the dreaminess from my head and grasp for words to change the subject. “What’s up with the website you met on? Is it a chat room or what?”

  “Sorta,” Caleb says. “It’s for homeschooled kids to chat about homework and stuff. It’s run through our church group.”

  I turn to Rainy. “And what were you doing there?”

  “I didn’t know it was that. I just found it through a link on an art chat room. If I knew it was a bunch of homeschooled geeks, I wouldn’t have checked it out.” She laughs. No one else does. “It was a joke guys. Chaaa.”

  Rainy stares at the wall while everyone finishes eating. “I’m not feeling too hot. I’m thinking I should probably call it a night.” She turns to me. But I don’t want to go home just yet—which is a bit strange. Evan seems different and I want to know more about him. Besides, I’m still pissed at her for ditching me this morning and not telling me about the date and everything else she flakes out on.

  “Are you sure?” I ask. “Maybe you’ll feel better if we go outside and get some fresh air.” Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. “I mean, only if you want to.”

  “Nah, I’m seriously not feeling good. I’m gonna split.” She stands and slings her bag over her shoulder. “It was rad meeting you,” she says to Caleb and Evan in the most fake-cordial voice uttered from her mouth. She looks at me. “Are you cool?”

  Sure, go ahead and ditch me, see if I ever go out with you again. “Yeah, I’m just dandy.” I glare at her. Bitch.

  “I thought so.” She turns to leave before Caleb can open his mouth.

  “It was nice to meet…you.” Caleb turns to me. “I guess she didn’t like me.”

  Oh jeesh. Thank you very much Rainy. “Well, she did look a little pale. I’m sure she just has an upset stomach and that it has nothing to do with you.”

  Awkward silence.

  Evan taps my foot with his under the table. I meet his smiling eyes. Yeah, he’s definitely cute.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “I feel bad for Caleb. Are you sure that he’ll be alright?” I ask Evan as we sit in his car, watching Caleb speed-walk up his driveway.

  “He’s fine.”

  Caleb unlocks the front door to his house, waves, and disappears into the brightest home on the block.

  “So where’s your favorite place for ice cream?” Evan asks.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Do you like Cold Creamery?”

  “Who doesn’t like Cold Creamery?” He puts the gear-shift into first and takes off down the road.

  He flips the radio knob; a country song blares through the speakers—gag. Then he turns it down to a light hum, just loud enough to cover the silence between us. The engine of the newer model Honda Civic breathes beneath the music.

  “So, Evan, do you have a job? You’re seventeen, right?”

  “I volunteer during the week. And yes, I’m seventeen.”

  “Really? Where do you volunteer?”

  “Mondays and Wednesdays I volunteer at the Share Home and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I volunteer at the YMCA in their after-school program.”

  “Are you serious?” No sane teenager
volunteers four days a week.

  He turns the car into the parking lot of Cold Creamery. “Why do you ask that?” He pauses and smiles. “Oh, wait. I think I’ve heard this one before: Goody-two-shoes. Right?”

  “No!” I say. “I mean, no,” I say in a normal volume. “That’s not what I meant. Well, yeah, sure it is kind of strange. And you’re the first person I’ve ever met to volunteer so much. At all actually.”

  “That’s why I do it so often. More people are needed to help.” He unbuckles his seat belt and opens the door.

  I crawl out of the car before he gets a chance to open my door.

  Damp air clings to our skin and clothes. We walk through the dimly lit lot to the entrance. Evan holds the door open for me.

  An aroma of sweet vanilla waffle cones fills my nasal cavities. My mouth waters. It doesn’t matter that I’m still full of pizza. The tantalizing smell of tasty desserts revs a sudden rumble from my belly.

  “What’s your poison?” Evan asks.

  “I’m kind of an Oreo freak.” Candies and cookies crushed into little bins sit behind the glass counter.

  “I should have guessed. You look like an Oreo freak.”

  My mouth drops open in a surprised grin. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

  He laughs.

  The girl behind the counter asks, “What can I get for you?”

  Evan answers, “Well, we have an Oreo freak on our hands here. So, why don’t you make us a couple of surprise concoctions using Oreos.”

  While the woman creates her masterpiece behind the counter, Evan pulls out his wallet.

  “I can pay for mine,” I say.

  “Please. Let me pay this one last time.”

  I take a deep breath. “Okay. Thanks.”

  We take our treats to a small table in the back corner.

  “You were saying?” I ask.

  “Was I saying something?”

  “Yes. You were going to tell me about volunteering. Why more help is needed.”

  “Oh, yeah.” He takes a bite of his ice cream. “Aren’t you going to try it? It’s good.”

  I take a mouthful. “This is, like, totally, the best Oreo concoction ever.” I take another. “But, don’t change the subject.”

  “I didn’t. I merely pointed out the fact that you hadn’t tried it yet.” He takes a breath. “Promise you won’t think I’m a weirdo or anything.”

  “What? Why would I think that?” Too late, in a good way though.

  “Because most people our age don’t give a hoot about anything.”

  I can’t believe he just said hoot. “That’s true. But you obviously do, so what’s wrong with that?”

  “I’m glad you see it that way.” He wipes his mouth with a napkin. “I’ve been volunteering since I was five. My parents are very community oriented, so they started us out in volunteer work early on.” His eyes twinkle like disco balls. “I’m glad they did. It’s the most rewarding feeling in the world.

  “Have you ever given a gift to someone who really appreciated it?” he asks.

  “Yeah, I guess. I give stuff to my grandma all the time.”

  “Where, when you gave it to her, her entire being lights up?”

  “No. I guess not.”

  “I was going to use that as an analogy, but if you haven’t, it won’t work.” His pale eyes burn holes through mine. “Just imagine the happiest you have ever seen your grandmother. Now multiply that by a thousand.”

  I would give anything for Grams to be happy. If only she could travel to see the world…if only she could have Gramps back…if only I could buy her a mansion to live in…if only she didn’t have the burden of my mother, and of me…if only I could take her nicotine addiction away. If only. I would give anything.

  “Now,” he says. “Imagine having that feeling every single day. When you help those in need, people who don’t expect anything from anyone, it feels like that. Those people are the most grateful, the ones that truly need help.”

  “So, you help people because it feels good?” That’s a bit selfish.

  “Yes, but that’s not the only reason. I help others because they need our help.”

  “Oh.” Not so much selfish.

  “You want to come with me sometime?” He puts the spoon in his mouth, not wasting one drop of flavor, reminding me of a puppy licking his dish clean. Of course Evan is somewhat like a puppy. The innocence and light about him leaves me wanting to know more, a desire to dig deeper to find the secret of such happiness. Is it a trick? Why does he seem so carefree?

  “Sure. I think I’d like that,” I say.

  “Awesome!” He picks up both of our cups to throw them in the trash can. “How about on Monday afternoon? What time do you get out of school?”

  “Monday is fine.” I don’t dare tell him that it’s the first day to my new life. The first day of the rest of my life. Volunteering will be a great way to start it. Evan seems happy enough doing it. “Around three.”

  “I promise you won’t regret this. I’ll pick you up at three then?”

  We walk out the door. The sky weeps, but gently. Lights in the parking-lot illuminate the fog, creating a magical feel, like walking through clouds. Evan opens the passenger side door for me.

  “Hey, do you think Rainy would like to help?” he asks.

  I think she’ll probably laugh her butt off if I ask. But he looks so hopeful. “She might. I’m not sure though.”

  “Let’s go ask her. Is she at home?” He closes the passenger door before I can answer and walks around the car to get in the driver side.

  “She might be. Actually, if you ask her, it might be better.” Only because I don’t think she can say no to a puppy dog. She will say no to me though.

  “There’s no harm in asking, right? Point the way.”

  “Right.”

  ***

  For as long as I can remember, Rainy has left the window to her basement bedroom open for easy entry without her parents knowing. It also makes life easier for friends, like me, who don’t necessarily want to deal with her parental figures—so annoying and boring. Sometimes I’ll sleepover at her house an entire weekend without her parents knowing. Yeah, they’re that involved with her life.

  “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this,” Evan says.

  “You can go back to wait in the car if you want. That’s cool.” I squat down onto my knees to push the cracked window open enough to peek my head through.

  The room is dark. “Rainy,” I whisper. No answer. A red glow from the alarm clock casts a shadow over the laundry littered room. Her bag isn’t hung on the door where she keeps it and her jacket is gone. I close the window, leaving it cracked, and stand, brushing the wet bark from my knees. “She’s not here.”

  “Oh. Well, maybe you can just ask her later or something.” He pauses. “I thought she wasn’t feeling good. Maybe we should check with her parents to make sure she’s okay.”

  “No, no.” I shake my head. “Her parents won’t know. She’s probably just hanging out with someone else.”

  Evan’s eyebrows rise. “I don’t understand.”

  “I can see that.” I laugh. “Rainy is a complicated person and her relationship with her parents is even more complicated. Or more like non-existent as far as she’s concerned. And, no, she wasn’t really sick.”

  “She wasn’t?”

  “Nah, she ditched us.”

  Evan’s mouth drops open, horrified. “She did?”

  “Ha! I take it you’ve never been ditched? That’s funny.”

  “Why?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. It just is. I’ve been ditched a gazillion times by Rainy. You’ll come to find that she’s not the nicest person you’ve met. It’s mostly a front though. I’ve known her forever and deep down, she can be nice.” I shrug. “She’s just been going through a lot of crap with her brother and her parents and school and junk like that, so she takes it out on everyone else.”

  “Aren’t you worried? M
aybe we should go look for her.”

  “Nah, I’m sure she’s fine.” We walk through the wet grass to Evan’s car, an arm’s length between us. I’m tempted to step closer to him, but my legs aren’t brave enough.

  “Now what?” I ask.

  “Do you want me to take you home?”

  “Oh, that’s okay. I live right there.” I point to the second house down on the right.

  “You live close to everything, huh?”

  “Yeah, me and Rainy walk everywhere. Or we ride our bikes. We aren’t fortunate enough to have an awesome car like you.”

  Evan blushes. “It’s not mine, actually. It’s the family car. I just borrowed it.”

  “I was wondering how you could afford a car with all that volunteer work.”

  “Yeah.” He kicks a rock across the street.

  “That’s cool. So, eh, it was really nice to meet you and all.” I take a step closer to him.

  “Oh, yeah, yeah, it really was. You’re a great person, Autumn. Thanks for spending the evening with me.” He enters my space, gives me a brief, sincere hug, then steps back, tripping on the curb. His face beams red—handsome and sweet. “I’ll pick you up on Monday?”

  “Okay. Umm….” I shove my hands into the front pockets of my denim jacket and decide to leap off a cliff. “Do you want to hang out this weekend or anything?” Please say yes, please say yes.

  His smile grows further, if that’s possible. “That would be great! I’ll have to check with my parents first.” He bites his bottom lip. “Actually, I forgot, my family has a reunion thing tomorrow.” He pauses. “If I can get out of it, which is kind of doubtful, can I call you?”

  “Of course. Yeah.” I dig the heel of my shoe into the grass. “If you’re busy Saturday, there’s always Sunday.”

  He hesitates. “You wanna go to church with us? Uh, I mean, with my parents? That would be—”

  “No, uh, no. I mean, I think I forgot my Grams asked me to do something with her. So, I guess Sunday isn’t such a great day after all.”

  “That’s okay. Maybe another time. I’ll call you tomorrow morning if I can get out of the family outing.”