Rock Island

by Bill Etem

back to the podium. He’s back from his little hiatus now, after satisfying those cravings which demand to be satisfied, so let’s listen in on the Moderator.’

  Moderator - ‘Jew Girl - daughter of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - daughter of Sarah, Rachel and Rebecca, daughter of so many generations of long-suffering Hebrews, we need to consult your expertise. Paraphrase for us Jewish erudition; give us a sampling of the wisdom accumulated over the millennia by countless Hebrew scholars and sages. What perspective can you bring to our Symposium?’

  Jewish Girl – ‘The Protestants are retards! I mean the typical Anglo-Saxon Protestant looks at a French Catholic sunk in adultery with his mistresses as a retard! Doesn’t the French retard know he’ll go to perdition because of his adultery? Can’t the adulterous French retard understand that the worthless French custom of adultery will lead him straight to perdition? One of the Ten Commandments forbids adultery and another one tells us to keep the Sabbath Day holy, and just look at all the Protestant retards who work on the Sabbath. Wal-Mart, Target, Macy’s, MacDonalds, Taco Loco, ExxonMobil, 7-Eleven, Delta Airlines, the Greyhound Bus Company and thousands or millions of other businesses can find lots of Protestants to work for them on the Sabbath Day. Jesus said in so many words that it’s OK to rescue a lamb that fell into a pit on the Sabbath. But He didn’t say it was OK in general to labor on the Sabbath. A Protestant would have to be a retard if he thinks you obey the Gospel when you violate the Sabbath. Why can’t the Protestant retards understand that their long tradition of violating the Sabbath will lead them to perdition? Why? Why? Why? Why can’t the Protestant retards understand that they are acting like big ass retards?’

  Moderator - ‘Thank you Jew Girl for your insight and valuable contribution to this Symposium. You have a way with words which marvelously clarifies matters: obscure points which were once shadowy become brilliantly illuminated in your penetrating analysis. That which was formerly murky and amorphous is now revealed in the boldest and brightest of colors.’

  Jew Girl - ‘Indeed it is so.’

  Moderator - ‘Now pay attention you effing retards! I’m trying to learn you the Gospel. It’s neo-paganism to say that doctrine doesn’t matter. It’s neo-paganism to say that nice people who reject Christ and the True Faith can go to heaven. Christ said in John 14. 23-26 that those who love Him keep His words. If you don’t keep Christ’s words, then you don’t love Christ. If you don’t love Christ then you go to perdition. To think I have to explain the simplest stuff to people who call themselves Christians just boggles my mind. Some of you Protestants are so amazingly lost and confused! I know Protestants who consult mediums, witches, more or less, who put them in touch with their dearly departed ancestors, and these Protestants think that this proves their church leads people to heaven. Anyone can read the 20th chapter of the Book of Revelation and see that the Last Judgment happens after the Second Coming and after the Millennium, therefore, 1) we know it is a sin to consult mediums / witches, and 2) we can’t know for certain if someone’s dearly departed relative is damned or redeemed until after the Last Judgment, therefore it is crazy to assume some ghost was in a church which leads souls to heaven merely because some medium / witch puts people in communication with that ghost. So, let’s review, so you crazy Protestants don’t get any more lost and confused than you already are. John 14. 23-26: those who love Christ, those who keep His words, are the True Church. If you keep Christ’s words then you will obviously keep the words He spoke in Matthew 16. 13-19, where Christ says He has founded His Church on a rock, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against this True Church. So, if the Church of Rome is God’s True Church, then those of us who are Protestants will go to perdition after we die, because we rebel against God’s True Church, the Church of Rome. Now if the Church of Rome leads people to perdition, because Rome is not the Church which Christ founded on a rock, because Rome has fallen away from the True Faith – recall the info about the Antichrist and the falling away in 2 Thess 2 – and if Eastern Orthodoxy also leads people to perdition, because it too has fallen away from the True Faith – then perhaps Protestantism leads people to heaven. Etem, the half-wit, the brainless fool, while he is very much an anti-Catholic and anti-Eastern Orthodox sort of halfwit - I applaud him for at least being some sort of Christian - also insists that every Protestant sect under the sign of the cross leads people to perdition, a doctrine which I of course detest. Etem sees the Great Tribulation – see Daniel 12. 1, Revelation 7. 14 - is simply a big argument over what is the True Church and the True Faith. If Rome is the True Church, if Rome leads people to heaven, then everyone in the world should obey Rome. But if Rome leads people to perdition, if Rome is not the Church which Christ founded on a rock, if Rome has fallen away, then everyone in the world should renounce Rome. That’s simple enough to understand. Rome either leads people to heaven or else Rome leads people to perdition. Rome is either God’s True Church or else Rome has been subverted by the Devil. You could say the same for any sect or person. Islam is satanic if Islam leads people away from heaven and to perdition, whereas Islam is a fine and respectable religion if it leads people to heaven. The Church of Rome is God’s True Church if it leads people to heaven, if it is the Church which Christ founded on a rock. But if Rome has fallen away, if Rome leads people to perdition, then Rome is satanic. I suppose Atheists would have a problem with this reasoning since they don’t believe in heaven, but the concept is not all that radical. The Koran is filled with verses which say that you will be tortured in hellfire if you reject Islam. If that is true then convert to Islam! But if Islam is a superstition which leads people away from heaven and to perdition then Islam is a satanic cult. We’re concerned especially with misguided Christians who say that doctrine is unimportant, who say that being a good person is enough to get one into heaven. The new covenant is the True Faith. In Jeremiah 31. 31-34 we are told that God will write a new covenant on the hearts of His people. This new covenant / New Law amends the Old Covenant, the old Mosaic Law. Not everything in the Old Law has been tossed out, mind you. The Ten Commandments are part of both the Old Law and the New Law. Under the New Law bulls and goats are no longer sacrificed, but the Old Law’s command to use just weights and measures is still valid under the New Law. Anyway, the people who have God’s New Law written on their hearts, recalling Jeremiah 31. 31-34, are the True Church. They are the saints. They go to heaven and not to perdition. If you don’t have the New Law written on your heart you go to perdition, because you don’t keep the True Faith, because you are not in the True Church. In Ephesians 5. 5 Paul tells us there is one body, and in Paul’s lingo this means there is one True Church. Revelation 20. 15 mentions a Book of Life. If your name is written in the Book of Life then you are in the True Church. If your name is not written in the Book of Life then you go to perdition not to heaven…If at least one church under the sign of the cross leads people to heaven, if at least one church somewhere under the sign of the cross is the True Church, the Church which Christ founded on a rock, then this proves that the sign of the cross is sacred. Etem, the fool, is quite convinced the sign of the cross is evil – the blasphemous sacrilegious moron! - argues in this way: If one actually had the Divine Law / New Law mentioned in Jeremiah 31. 31-34 written on one’s heart, if one was actually a saint in the True Church, then one would not commit sacrilege with the cross. It’s a sacrilege to says the evil things are sacred, and it’s a sacrilege to say that sacred things are evil.’

  Me - Bill Etem - ‘Jew Girl has already lit into the Protestants for violating the Sabbath. It’s common knowledge among Protestants that the Catholic tradition of bowing down before images of ‘saints’ is an example of pagan traditions trampling upon God’s law. The Bible is perfectly clear in stating that the Last Judgment happens far in the future, but the Catholic doctrine that when saints die they go immediately into the presence of God and then experience the Beatific Vision, is a valuble source of profit to
the Catholic Church. If saints don’t go into God’s presence until after the Last Judgment, then they can’t make intercession for sinners. Protestant tradition tramples on God’s law most clearly in money matters. The whole idea of a Christian book industry is heresy. To try to make a profit off of Christianity is a sin which leads to perdition. To write a book, and then to advertize it by some such line as: ‘for only a modest expenditure of $17.99 this book will give you the keys to unlock the mysteries of the Christian religion’ is to fall away from the True Faith. Christian authors are to provide their books free of charge. It is evil to charge people money for books which explain the Gospel. Protestant tradition says it is not evil, but everyone knows that Matthew, Mark, Luke, John etc., did not charge people money to purchase their books. A person would have to be a cultist to think the Hebrew prophets sold their prophesies to make money. Look at Grand Rapids, MI. It’s Sin City because it is