But it did matter. Terribly. And her vivid imagination wondered if maybe he’d gone into town last night. If maybe he’d hooked up with someone a little more willing.
Her day went from bad to worse when her mom came over.
“I’ve decided to fly home.”
Kait stared into her mom’s blue eyes and wanted to scream, “Nooooo.” They sat in the small kitchen her mom had furnished in a Southwestern style, right down to the hanging pack of red peppers above the stove.
“Your dad called this morning and begged me to come back.” She played with a cactus-shaped salt-and-pepper shaker. “Seems he can’t live more than a few days apart from me.”
And that depressed Kait all the more. What would it be like to have a marriage like her mom and dad’s? She’d probably never know.
“Are you okay?” Her mom’s head tilted, her long red hair falling around her shoulders. “Has the cramping started again?”
“No. It’s not that.” She actually felt better, physically at least, than she ever had. Her heart... Well, that was another matter entirely.
“Is it you and Shane?”
“We’re fine,” Kait said. She stood and went to the refrigerator, which was made to look like something from the ’50s but was actually modern on the inside. “Didn’t sleep very well.”
She came back to the table with a plate of green grapes. Her mom stared at her in concern.
“I hope he’s not mad I forced the two of you to drive home together.”
“He’s not, Mom. It has nothing to do with that at all.”
She popped a grape in her mouth, enjoying the sweet taste of it, but when she rested her hand on the table, her mom covered it with her own.
“It’ll all work out.”
There she went wanting to cry again. Goodness gracious. Would it ever stop? She hated what an emotional wreck she’d become since she’d found out she was pregnant.
“I told him I want to keep the babies with me. That I’m going to keep them with me when I race and that I don’t want them to be torn between two households.”
Her mom leaned back, her hand sliding from Kait’s. She took a grape, too, and Kait heard it burst in her mom’s mouth in the dead silence of the kitchen.
“I imagine he didn’t take that very well. That man isn’t the type to shirk responsibility and he’ll look at anything less than raising your twins together as not doing his duty.”
Kait tilted her head. “You like him, don’t you?”
Her mom nodded. “I think he’s the best thing to ever happen to you.”
Kait’s hand froze midway to the grape bowl.
“You’re finally learning there’s more to life than driving race cars.”
“What do you mean?”
Her mom’s eyes filled with an emotion Kait couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I’ve watched you for a lot of years, first in go-karts and then dirt tracks. You and your brother, always racing, and I was fine with that. I might have wanted something different for you than racing, but you were a pioneer, and so I put my own concerns aside.”
“What concerns?”
“Getting killed.”
She drew back. They never talked about that. Never mentioned the dreaded D word.
Death.
“Kait, listen. You’ve opened doors you probably don’t even know you’ve opened. Little girls around the world want to be you, and that’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.”
She could see it all in her mom’s eyes: pride. Approval. But also fear and sadness.
“Bad enough I had to watch my husband defy death all those years. Now I have to watch you and Jarrod.”
She and her brother were rivals on the track, but not in life. He was the one she could always count on when she got in a tight spot on the track.
“You have to think about that now, Kait. You’re going to be a mother. You have two little lives growing inside of you. Maybe giving you twins was God’s way of saying slow down.”
Everything inside her froze. “You think I should give up racing?”
Her mom captured her hands. Both of them this time. “I think you should do what’s best for the babies.”
Give it up. Walk away from the sport she loved. Don’t risk her life when she had two other lives depending on her.
“I don’t know what to do, Mom.”
She was crying and she didn’t even know it. That was what pregnancy did to you. Turned you into a water pot.
Her mom came around the table, bent and wrapped her arms around her. “You’ll figure it out.”
Yes, but not with her mom by her side. She admitted then how much she’d come to count on her.
“You’re leaving because you want to push me and Shane together.”
Her mom drew back. Kait wiped at her eyes so she could see her better.
“I’m leaving because I did you a terrible disservice. Had I not been here, maybe you and Shane would have become closer.”
“Actually, Mom, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
Now her mom looked close to tears. “Come here.”
They hugged, Kait inhaling the familiar scent that could only be her mother. How she loved her. And now she understood just what it was like to watch someone you love...
She drew back.
“What is it?” her mom asked.
She didn’t love Shane. There was no way. That was crazy.
“I just remembered I have a doctor’s appointment today.”
“I know. I set a reminder. I already sent Shane a text message. He’ll take you.”
Love was too strong a word. Admiration. She admired him. Like a really good friend. And watching him ride yesterday had been terrifying. Funny that she’d never felt that kind of deep-in-the-gut terror when watching her dad or her brother drive. Just Shane.
“He probably planned on taking me, anyway. He’s been great about this.”
Her mom swiped a lock of hair away from Kait’s cheek. “That man cares for you, honey. More than you know. I can see it in his eyes.”
She could see it, too.
“You just need to figure out what you’re going to do about it,” her mom said before bending to kiss her goodbye.
* * *
“EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.”
Shane felt his whole body go slack at the words.
The doctor’s smile encompassed them both, the glasses on his nose bobbing up as he smiled. “Strong heartbeats. Normal growth rate. Uterus looks good, too. You said your cramping is gone?”
From her position on the doctor’s table, Kait nodded. “I’m actually feeling a lot better.”
“Good,” the doctor said, helping her sit up after he pulled her shirt down. “I don’t see any reason why you can’t resume some of your usual activities. I still don’t want you on your feet a lot. And no more traveling to rodeos.” He wagged a finger in her face. “I still can’t believe you did that.”
“Got it. Sorry.” She rearranged her pink T-shirt. “I just thought since I’d be sitting in a car...”
“It’s not about the sitting. It’s about getting you the care you need if something goes wrong. No more traveling.”
She looked crushed. Shane wondered just how soon she’d planned to go home. After her mom’s surprise departure, he’d wondered if she would follow, but it looked like that wouldn’t happen.
Thank God.
He’d done a lot of thinking last night while sleeping in the bunkhouse in his old bed, his brothers and cousins snoring nearly as loudly as Kait did. His dad was right. Kait was right, too. He shouldn’t kiss her again. He was crazy to think the two of them could have a life together, so even though he wanted to push her to see what happened, he would keep his distance from here on out.
“I would say we’re good for a due date of September 1, barring any unforeseen circumstances,” said the doctor. “They might come a little earlier than that. With twins, you never know.”
“September,” Kait repeated, as if that news surprised her.
“In the meantime, make sure to eat healthy and get plenty of rest.”
Shane stepped forward. “We have a big event coming up at the ranch. Cutting show. I was thinking maybe Kait would like to help out. Work the office. Maybe hand out prizes. Would that be okay?”
Kait looked at him in surprise. Might was well keep busy until she left.
“I don’t see why not.” The doctor’s kindly face lifted into a smile. “Good for her to be out-of-doors.”
They talked for a little longer. When it came time to leave, Shane helped Kait up, the two of them walking into the bright Via Del Caballo sunshine.
“You don’t have to help with our horse show if you don’t want to,” he said. “I just thought you might enjoy having something to do.”
“No. That sounds interesting. As long as I don’t have to get too near the animals.”
The words brought to mind their kiss and how hard it’d been not to run after her when she’d walked away. “I promise. There’s plenty to do without having to touch a horse.” It was the most they’d spoken since he’d picked her up this morning. She’d been quiet, but then, so had he...and he hated it. He hated the whole damn situation.
“I still can’t believe you’re afraid of horses.”
She slipped into his truck. He closed the door for her before moving around to his side.
“Don’t confuse respect with being afraid.”
He shot her a smile meant to convey without words that he wasn’t buying it. “Anything else you’re afraid of?”
She just shook her head.
“Spiders.”
That got her to turn around and look at him with derision in her eyes.
“Mice?”
She just rolled her eyes. She turned and went back to staring out the front window.
“Winnie the Pooh?”
Her lips twitched.
“I hear that’s a thing.”
It was as if her cheeks were in a battle of tug-of-war with her sense of humor. Up, down. Up, down. Until, at last, her sense of humor won out, but she turned away before he could see her smile.
Why couldn’t it always be like this? he wondered. Why couldn’t she be a regular woman with a normal job? How different would things have been if they’d started dating after that first night in Vegas? Things might have turned out so differently.
It was a thought that repeated itself over the next week as, true to his word, he kept his distance. Nobody said anything when he went back to living in the bunkhouse. It wasn’t as if the paparazzi lurked in the bushes, outing Kait and their fake marriage. She’d told him that so far the racing community hadn’t seemed to care about her marriage and pregnancy. Her dad quickly hired a new driver. They’d farmed out her workload. Their media person had spun her absence like some kind of romantic movie. Love at first sight. So for the most part, everything had been smoothed over. Professionally, at least.
But she missed being in North Carolina. He could see the longing in her eyes when he went to go check on her—which was daily—and asked her about her family. He wondered how he would take it if he’d been told he couldn’t ride for nearly a year. He supposed it would have crushed his spirit, too.
So perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised when she threw herself into helping out with the cutting horse competition. His aunt Crystal had always been in charge of managing the ranch’s horse shows, the biggest of which was their upcoming Spring Fling. Kait quickly became invaluable to his aunt, or so he’d heard, helping to coordinate entries and personnel and doing the data entry.
“I don’t know what I’d do without her,” Crystal said a couple days before the show was due to start. People would begin arriving on Tuesday. Down in the valley beneath his dad’s place, they’d erected portable stalls near the barn. Their canvas tops looked like strips of tape from a distance. “You sure you can’t persuade her to stick around?”
I wish.
He frowned. “She’ll be leaving just as soon as the doctor gives her clearance to fly.”
They were out on the back veranda. Another Sunday dinner. Kait stood off to the side, talking to his sister, Jayden. His brothers were gathered around the table where they would eat. The smell of barbecue hung in the air, potent at times as smoke billowed in their direction.
“I can’t imagine you’ll be happy to see her go.”
It had dawned an overcast day. They’d almost moved the gathering inside, but the clouds were as patchy as his favorite paint horse. Every once in awhile, sun would pour down, heating the outdoors and making the temperature tolerable. Down in the valley, bright patches of light chased after dark blobs, occasionally illuminating the stable and the outdoor arena and turning the pastures an emerald green.
“Not much I can do about it.”
Crystal shook her head. “And I’m sure your dad told you it was all for the best, Kait leaving and all.”
It was no secret that his aunt disapproved of his dad in a lot of ways. She’d never forgiven him for deserting his mom when she got so sick. His dad had always put his business first and his family second, something that went against his aunt’s grain.
“You know my dad,” was all he said.
“Yes,” Crystal said, her voice full of derision. “I do.”
Kait angled her body to look at something in the backyard that Jayden pointed out, and he could see what she tried hard to hide. The smallest of bulges. Not enough that she had to wear special clothes, but it was there. His babies. Their babies.
“Well, forgive me if I have a different opinion. I happen to believe anything can be worked out—if two people care enough.”
If they care enough.
Those were the operational words.
His aunt touched his arm. “You do care, don’t you?”
He met her gaze. “Of course I do.”
Crystal frowned. “Not like that. I mean, do you love her?”
The question was the same one his dad had asked, but for some reason Crystal asking it didn’t set his back up.
“We really don’t know each other well enough to be in love.”
“And why is that?” his aunt asked. “Why haven’t you tried to spend more time with her? I know you’ve been staying at the bunkhouse, the whole ranch knows, and that you try to avoid her whenever possible. That’s not exactly conducive to a good relationship.”
And his aunt looked so disappointed in him he immediately went on the defensive. “It is what it is. She asked for space, I’m giving it to her.”
“And you let her order you around.”
“Well,” he huffed, “I don’t want to make her angry.”
His aunt stepped in front of him, her eyes intensely serious. She grabbed his arm, forcing him to look down at her.
“Listen, Shane. I’d like to think your mom would tell you the same thing I’m about to tell you if she were here.” She half-turned toward Kait, probably to make sure she wasn’t listening. “Don’t let her get away. She’s a good one. And I don’t need to spend a bunch of time with her to know that. Been a big help to me this week. I didn’t expect that. With her pedigree and her fame I thought she’d pretend to help or get confrontational when I pushed too hard. She hasn’t. She’s as kindhearted as she is hardworking. Probably how she got to the top of her profession. Sure she drives race cars and leads a busy life, but so what? You can make it work.” She squeezed his arm. “You’ll never find another one like her, Shane, believe me. Plus she’s the mother of your babies. Go after her. Make her see things your way. If you don’t, I’ll be disappointed in you.”
Having said her piece, Crystal gave one last nod and walked away. Shane watched her go, feeling as if his world had been tipped on end.
His aunt liked her. It amazed him how much weight that carried with him.
But she didn’t understand. Kait was the one who’d called a halt to things. He had a feeling when she made up her mind to do something, she did it. And they weren’t in love, so it wasn’t like there was much holding her here once she got the all clear to go home.
Right?
He felt his stomach flip in the same way his world had flipped because the simple truth was—as he watched her turn to greet his aunt, a smile on her face, long hair hanging loose—he realized he’d been kidding himself these past few days. There was so more between them than just chemistry.
He just wished he knew what to do about it.
Chapter Sixteen
The smell of food woke her up. At first she thought it was her mom she heard in the kitchen, come to make her breakfast, but then she remembered her mom had gone home.
Her eyes sprang open.
It was early morning, not dawn, later than that. Sunshine streamed into her room, and she realized she’d slept far later than she’d thought.
Bacon.
The smell of it made her stomach grumble. She’d been craving it lately. That and fast-food hamburgers. She had no idea why.
A few minutes later, she peeked through a crack in the door and confirmed it was Shane and that he must have the hearing of a bat, because he instantly turned and spotted her staring at him.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said with a smile. “Thought you might like some breakfast.”
She stood there for a moment absorbing the realization that he was standing in the kitchen stirring something in a pan. Eggs, she realized.
“Come on,” he said with a wave of the spatula. “Sit down and eat.”
She’d had people do things for her in the past, but she was jaded enough to wonder if they did it for her or in the hopes that she could do something for them. She’d watched it happen with enough times with her famous father that it made her wary. But this...this was all for her, and their babies, she supposed.
Rodeo Legends--Shane Page 12