“What else do you do?” I took another step toward her.
She swallowed nervously. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I guess I’m asking you whether you have other feelings for me besides worry?”
She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it.
Another step forward and I was standing right in front of her, keeping my eyes locked on hers. “Have you ever dreamed out loud?”
She looked at me through her eyelashes, confusion written on her face. “Huh?”
“Dreamed out loud. It’s…I dunno… like feeling like you’re in a dream, only you’re wide awake?”
“Where are you going with this?
I studied her face before answering her. I deliberately scanned her eyes, noting the exact color green. Her red hair fell around her face in soft waves, creating a beautiful frame for artwork only God could create. Simple and beautiful, like the sunset. I breathed her in, and let her consume me. After another minute passed, I managed to whisper, “I feel like I’m dreaming with my eyes open when I look at you.”
A tiny gasp escaped her lips.
My hands, without me telling them to, cupped her face. It was pure instinct and maybe pure reflex. Either way the reaction to touch her in this way was as natural to me as breathing.
And then I thought about Ms. Sophie’s words…‘Like she’s your next breath, dear.’
I swallowed back the lump in my throat. “Maggie…”
“Yes?” Her voice sounded so soft and unsure.
I searched her eyes, lingering in their depths for as long as I could before it got so intense that I realized I was no longer taking breaths. The words got caught somewhere between my brain and my mouth. My heart thumped, my head pounded.
What…the…hell!
I leaned in and whispered close to her ear, and told her the only thing that wouldn’t get stuck in my throat. “We need to get going. We have dinner plans at Ms. Sophie’s in an hour.”
Joe
“Grams, dinner was excellent,” Cooper said, leaning over to kiss his grandmother on the cheek. “I’m stuffed.”
Christmas dinner at Ms. Sophie’s was a tradition we had started years ago, but this year was special.
“Miraculously” she got well in time to cook for an army, or at least me, Maggie, Cooper, Lily, Hayden, and Beth; sort of an army. In years past this house was filled with people: Cooper’s grandfather, his grandparents’ friends, aunts and uncles and cousins. The past four or five years, however, had been a small crew, only me, Coop, Hayden and Ms. Sophie. Once in a while one of Ms. Sophie’s friends would come to dinner, but so often they weren’t able to make it due to one reason or another. Ms. Sophie never let it get her down, or decrease her grocery list; she kept cooking like there were thirty people coming to dinner. The reason we had to start playing basketball several times a week was from eating leftovers from Christmas dinner and New Year’s lunch. I think I gained twenty pounds between December twenty-fifth and January second every year. Luckily we were competitive and that kept us coming back to the court multiple times a week.
“Oh no you don’t, dear. There’s still dessert that has to be eaten.”
A room full of groans filled the air. I rubbed my stomach. “I can’t eat another bite, Ms. Sophie.”
“Me either,” Maggie said.
“I’m full too,” Beth chimed in.
Hayden instantly looked at Beth. “Really?” His eyes traveled down to her plate. “You didn’t eat much.”
“Well, obviously you didn’t see how much I started with,” Beth joked, rubbing her stomach and making groaning noises like the rest of us.
Lily stood up. “I’m gonna get started on the cleanup.”
“I’ll help you,” Cooper said.
“That’s not necessary, I’ll get it later,” Ms. Sophie said over the commotion of everyone standing from the dining room table. “I think I need to go lie down for a moment though. It seems this flu is really kicking my butt.”
We all stopped and looked at each other. I raised my eyebrow at the con artist. “Ms. Sophie, are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“No, no. I just need to lie down for a few minutes. I’ll rest up and be back in a jiffy.”
“We’ll clean up, Grams,” Lily assured her.
“Yeah, you go rest.” Maggie said, bending over to kiss Ms. Sophie on the cheek. “I can’t remember when I’ve eaten so well. I think I’ve probably put on ten pounds this week.”
“Well, I’m glad to know Joe has been taking care of you, dear.” Ms. Sophie patted Maggie on the hand. “I’m so sorry about the change of plans at the last minute and all. I certainly didn’t want you to get sick too.” Ms. Sophie looked my way.
I should have received an award for my poker face. I didn’t even smirk while listening to Ms. Sophie talk to Maggie. Okay, maybe I smirked a little, but deep down I was touched that Ms. Sophie thought of me the same way she thought of Cooper, a man worthy of being sneakily set up.
Maggie looked over at me with an expression written on her face that said, Are you hearing this?
I think my expression said something like, Yeah, isn’t she awesome?
“Now, you’re sure you don’t mind cleaning up for me?” Ms. Sophie asked all of us, glancing from face to face.
“Of course not,” Lily answered, and the rest of us chimed in affirmatively.
“Well, I’m very particular about where everything goes and how I want it done. I need to show you all how things need to be before I go to my room.”
Cooper piped up, “I know where you put everything, Grams. We got–”
“And you always put things in the wrong places, dear. It’s time I showed you where things really go and not where you think they should go.”
Cooper folded his arms over his chest. “You mean for the last few years, you’ve never bothered to tell me I was doing it wrong?”
Ms. Sophie waved him off. “I’m telling you now, dear.”
Cooper laughed.
“Hayden, Beth, you two come here.” Ms. Sophie took them both by the hands and led them to the island in the kitchen. “You two are in charge of transferring leftovers into these plastic bowls.” She opened a lower cabinet in the island and showed them the bowls and lids, then left Hayden and Beth and proceeded to walk over to Cooper and Lily. She led them to the spot she wanted them to work at. “Lily, dear, if you would, hand wash the crystal and fine china, and Cooper, dear, you dry.”
Without pause, Ms. Sophie turned to Maggie and me. “Maggie, dear, after Cooper dries the china, you put it away in these cabinets here, glasses on the top shelves and plates and saucers on the lower. And Joe, you’ll load the dishwasher with all the plates, pots, and pans that Hayden and Beth clean out.”
We all looked around at each other, standing in “our places” realizing she had us all paired off, carefully positioned like we were actors on a stage, preparing us for the next scene. I was expecting for someone in the shadows to yell, “Action!”
“All right, kids, if you need anything you know where to find me.” Mrs. Sophie announced with a sly grin, and turned to walk down the hallway to her bedroom.
Silence reigned in the kitchen until her bedroom door closed, and then laughter erupted.
“Surely she doesn’t think we don’t know what she’s doing, does she?” Lily asked Cooper.
“No, she knows we know. She just doesn’t care,” Cooper said.
Hayden and Beth were strangely quiet, not really speaking to each other. Beth passed empty dishes after she transferred the leftovers to the plastic containers, while Hayden passed the empty dishes to me to load in the dishwasher. Every once in a while Hayden would stare at Beth when she wasn’t looking, and Beth would stare at Hayden whenever he turned from her to hand me something. I couldn’t read Hayden and I should be able to, we’d been friends for years. Beth, however, sweet Beth I could read; she looked scared. Why would she be afraid of Hayden? Maybe she had a crush on him
and felt awkward around him? Plenty of chicks had been in that boat before, how well I knew. I couldn’t count how many women I’ve counseled at the bar who were head over heels and never able to get the slightest reaction from Hayden. He was a tough nut to crack in the relationship department. Whatever it was, I could feel the tension between them, so I knew Maggie, Coop, and Lily could too. It was painful to witness.
Everyone continued to diligently work on their assigned task. Dishes clanked, water ran in the sink, food was stored away, pots and pans were loaded into the dishwasher, and china was carefully placed back into the cabinet. Only the sound of us working filled the room.
After a while, I couldn’t stand the tension any longer and the awkward quietness was way too loud. I saw a water glass sitting on the edge of the counter that had been overlooked when Cooper and Lily gathered the hand wash only pieces. There was maybe half a teaspoon of water in it, barely enough to cover the bottom of the glass. The dishwasher door was open and Cooper stood on one side of it, I stood on the other.
Opportunity.
“Hey, Coop, you know what Bruce Lee’s favorite drink is?”
Cooper glanced over at me. “I have no idea, man.”
Striking a ninja pose I yelled, “Waaaaaatah!” while simultaneously splashing the bit of water from the glass in Cooper’s face.
Cooper slowly wiped away the water I’d thrown on him. “That went up my nose.”
Right after that I was on the move because Cooper came after me, still holding the dish towel he was using.
I weaved around people and the kitchen island with Cooper hot on my heels until Lily yelled, “Enough! Joe, hand me that glass before you break it!”
We both stopped like two children who were being scolded. “Sorry,” I murmured, handing the glass over to Lily who shook her head and chuckled.
“Where the hell do you come up with those jokes, anyway? Is there a website or something?” Cooper asked.
“There’s several actually,” I smirked.
Cooper threw the towel in my face. “You idiot.”
I glanced around the room. The tension was gone, and everyone seemed happy again. Hayden and Beth seemed to be better, and Lily was over her panic as soon as I had carefully handed her the glass.
And Maggie, well she stopped my heart the minute I looked at her face. She shook her head at me, amused, and then turned to resume her chores.
After finishing our duties we gathered in the living room. We laughed, we joked, everyone seemed relaxed and at ease, and even Hayden and Beth seemed to have gotten over whatever was plaguing them earlier in the kitchen. We played a hilarious game of Dirty Santa after Ms. Sophie reappeared and joined in on the fun. Cooper and Lily sat together on the couch, Maggie sat in one of the chairs while I sat at the foot of it with my back pressed against it. Hayden and Beth both sat on the fireplace hearth together.
Ms. Sophie wound up with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs and some edible body paint. Maggie had actually chosen the gift on her turn, but Ms. Sophie stole it away when her turn rolled around. Ms. Sophie explained, “Now, Maggie dear, I’ll just take that away and remove any temptation you might otherwise have had about shackling Joe up later tonight.”
Ms. Sophie was something else. Cooper had his hands full with his grandmother.
Maggie chose another gift once we were able to maintain some composure and wound up with a giant pair of Santa pants. She was a good sport and even stood up and pulled them on over her jeans. We all cracked up while she went around asking each of us what we would like for Christmas, playing the part of Santa Claus. When she pulled them off she noticed something stapled to the inside of the waistband in the back. It was a Visa gift card, so she was pleased with her Dirty Santa haul.
After Dirty Santa was over we decided we could handle some dessert, so we headed back to the kitchen where we all stood around the bar, each of us holding a fork, passing pie plates back and forth. After we sampled pies, we all pitched in and cleaned up again. Maggie started a pot of coffee and we took our cups into the living room where things were beginning to settle down.
“You know what would be fun?” Ms. Sophie said. “Music. You boys play for us ladies. What’s that song I heard the other day? It was by some band called Republic something.”
“One Republic?” I asked.
“Yes! That’s it! Play that. I liked it very much.”
“Well, which one?” Cooper said. “They have several songs.”
“Love Runs Out?” Lily suggested to Ms. Sophie.
“Yes, dear. That’s the one.”
“How did you know that Lily?” I asked her.
“I was with Grams when she heard it. She started dancing when it came on. She’s quite the dancer, fellas, I’m here to tell you.”
“Well this I’ve got to see,” I said. “Ms. Sophie, show us your moves.”
“Well, you get to playin’ and I’ll get to shakin’, dear.”
Cooper and I played music for a while, even coaxed Hayden to join in on the piano for a couple of songs. The ladies danced and laughed together, and that’s pretty much how Christmas at Ms. Sophie’s went.
Before anyone could leave Ms. Sophie wanted a group picture. “Gather around now, and let me get a good one. This one is going on the wall.”
We all huddled together, and then Ms. Sophie rearranged everyone. “Hayden, dear, you need stand over there closer to Beth. Okay, now move just a smidge to your right. Joe, put your arm around Maggie. There, perfect. Okay, Joe tell us a joke. I need laughing people in this picture.”
“Wow, no pressure. Okay, umm…knock knock.”
Everyone asked in unison, “Who’s there?”
“Britney Spears.”
“Britney Spears who?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Oops, I did it again.”
Everyone cracked up and Ms. Sophie got the picture she wanted. I didn’t need anything to make me smile. I had my arms around Maggie, and that was enough for me.
After the flash of the camera, Ms. Sophie glanced at the picture slyly. “Oh would you look at that?” She pointed above Hayden’s head. Mistletoe. She set us up again. “Looks like you get to kiss Beth, Hayden.”
Oh she’s good.
“Pucker up, big guy,” I said.
Beth turned as red as a candied apple. “Um…you don’t have to, Hayden.”
Hayden looked at Ms. Sophie, a slow easy smile moving across his face. “Yeah, I kinda do.” He looked back at Beth shrugging. “It’s the rule.” Without letting Beth over think it he leaned in and gave her a small kiss on the lips.
I glanced at Ms. Sophie, who seemed quite pleased with herself. When I looked back over at Hayden he was still smiling, and Beth was still blushing.
I shook my head watching the puppet master work her magic. Cooper caught my eyes and grinned, and shook his head too.
“I think I’m going to miss Lexie and Mandy,” Maggie said, sitting down next to me with a sigh.
We were finally alone in my house, and I hated that it was Maggie’s last night here. I hated it with every fiber in my being.
“Ah, my little butterbean told me a secret yesterday,” I said.
“What secret?”
“Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it?”
“Then why did you bring it up?”
“Because it was about you.”
“But you’re not going to tell me?”
“Nope.”
“You like torturing me, don’t you?”
I flashed a mischievous smirk. “It has its benefits.”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “Why do you call Lexie ‘butterbean’?”
“When she was about three or four we were singing Row Row Row Your Boat, and after about the fourth time she said she wanted to sing it by herself, so I shut up and let her sing.” I chuckled. “She sang… Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life’s a butterbean!
“She truly thought that’s what I’d been singing all along, so ever since then, I’ve called her butterbean.”
Maggie laughed with me, and a moment later we both went silent, quietly reminiscing. After a moment, she nudged me playfully in the shoulder.
“What’s up?”
“The sky and ceiling. How you feeling?” I nudged her back.
“Like a bird in the sky, I cannot lie.”
A slow grin inched across my face and I reached around her to grab my guitar. That move brought our faces closer together, close enough I could feel her breath on my skin. Involuntarily my eyes sought hers, like magnets being pulled together. I forced myself to look away, moved back to my side, and started tweaking the tuning pegs, taking deep, calming breaths.
“You gonna play me a song?”
“Any requests?”
“Nothing sad. I don’t think I can do sad right now. Something happy please.”
I wasn’t feeling happy. I was feeling achy and bruised. “How ‘bout this?” I said, and began playing ‘Faster’ by Matt Nathanson. It was fun, right? I could do fun, even though the ache penetrating my soul that had begun as a dull throb had progressed into a simmering burn. After the song ended Maggie stood up. “I have something for you.”
“Where are you going?
“Give me a sec,” she said, hurrying to her room. Within a few seconds she was back. Her fingers curled around two pieces of rope attached to the small Christmas bag she held up between us. “I thought of you the moment I saw this in the store, so I had to get it for you.”
I took the bag from her and smiled. I placed it in my lap and pulled out the tissue paper, glancing up at Maggie before allowing myself to peer inside. She was grinning, but her eyes had a sheen to them, like she was on the verge of tears. She gestured for me to look inside the bag with a slight nudge of her chin.
I reached inside and pulled out a stuffed animal. Well, a stuffed amphibian, rather.
“You shouldn’t have,” I said. I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. I held it up; a stuffed frog wearing a crown on its head.
“It’s a frog prince,” Maggie said.
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