Shade's Lady

by Joanna Wylde

  “It’s okay,” I reassured her, even though it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay even a little bit. I couldn’t even wrap my head around how not okay it was, but I had to stay calm. Otherwise she’d panic. “Just tell me—besides that time and today…have you ever seen it any other times?”

  Callie nodded her head, then started sobbing. I cradled her little head against my shoulder, rocking harder. It hurt. It hurt so bad to think of her going through this alone.

  I wanted to kill him.

  This wasn’t just me being angry, I realized. I literally wanted Randy dead. Then maybe the girls would be safe.

  Callie cried harder, sniffling loudly as I rocked her harder.

  “It’s okay, baby girl,” I said, even though that was a big fat lie. It wasn’t okay and it never would be. “You cry all you want. You’re safe now. I’ll never let them scare you again.”

  “You promise?” she said. I kissed her head.

  “Yeah, sweet girl. I promise.”

  “Pinkie promise?” She pulled away, holding one tiny, trembling finger up for me. I wrapped my own around it, catching and holding her gaze.

  “I promise on my pinkie that I will never, ever let those men scare you again.”

  Callie nodded slowly, then laid her head back down on my shoulder. I rubbed her back until the tears started to slow, kissing the top of her head every few seconds. It was warm and just a little sweaty. She still smelled like baby. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.

  “Are you going to tell Daddy?” she finally asked. “He’ll be mad. Really mad. He said that if I told anyone, they’d take us away from Mommy. That she’s a bad Mommy and they’ll find out and take us away!”

  Her voice rose and I clutched her tighter. “No, baby. Nobody will take you away from your mom. I promise. Me and her, we’re going to make sure you and your sisters are safe. Whatever needs to happen. Sometimes we have to do tough things, baby girl. You did something really hard by coming to me with this, but it was the right thing to do. I’m proud of you.”

  She nodded sleepily and I continued rocking her, my thoughts racing.

  Randy had been doing drugs—heavy drugs—here at the trailer with his friends.

  Counting tonight, they’d left those drugs where the kids could find them at least twice, and one time the twins had nearly eaten them. Then he’d taught his daughter to lie about it, and God only knew what other time bombs were still waiting to be found. Or whether he’d bring anything else over, for that matter. He still considered it his right to come into the trailer—we’d learned that the other day, when he’d broken the locks to get inside.

  For all I knew, there were more baggies of this crap somewhere.

  Then I heard a low, distinctive noise. Motorcycle. Ah, shit. I’d totally forgotten about Shade. Glancing down at my phone, I saw three text messages from him, demanding to know what was wrong. Next to it sat the bag of meth. Jesus. Randy had invited his druggie friends into his children’s home. His kids could’ve died, but all he’d cared about was keeping the secret from Hannah. What the hell had he been thinking?

  He wasn’t.

  He wasn’t thinking at all, because Randy didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. Up to now I’d seen him as scum—a loser who’d abandoned his family—but that wasn’t the case anymore.

  Nope, Randy had just graduated to active-threat status, and I couldn’t let that stand. Hannah and I were going to have to get the hell out of this trailer. It wasn’t safe, not when Randy felt free to break in whenever he wanted and there was motherfucking meth in the bathroom. We needed to move, and we needed to move soon.

  Guess I’d be claiming that five hundred bucks after all.

  “Why don’t you go to sleep in here?” I told Callie as the motorcycle grew louder.

  “Okay,” she whispered, crawling into the bed. Then I went into the living room and peeked out the window, expecting to see Shade. Sure enough, he was just pulling up outside. My hand clutched the phone and the baggie tight as he swung his leg off the Harley. Oh, shit. I needed to hide the drugs, and hide them fast.

  He knocked on the door and then the knob was turning. Crap crap crap! The little lock in the knob must not have caught and the deadbolt was still broken. I shoved the baggie down my shorts as Shade pushed through the door.

  “Hi!” I said as he took me in.

  “What happened?” he asked. “I heard part of it. What the fuck’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” I said quickly. “Callie just had a bad dream.”

  “Bullshit.” He stepped in, closing the door behind him. “You were freaking out and you’ve been crying.”

  I reached to touch my cheeks, startled to realize he was right. They were wet. I shifted nervously, and the bag of crystals in my panties poked uncomfortably. That’s when the full horror of the situation hit. There was a baggie of meth tucked up against my crotch.

  Could meth go through plastic?

  I had no fucking idea. I’d known plenty of meth heads—hard not to, growing up like I had—but I couldn’t remember ever hearing anything specifically about whether it could seep out of a baggie and into your coochie. I needed to get the drugs hidden somewhere else. Immediately.

  “Sit down,” I said, pointing to the couch almost desperately. “I’ll get you a drink.”

  Turning away from Shade, I walked into the little kitchen, trying not to waddle. Then I opened the fridge door, using it as cover to reach down and dig out the baggie. I stuffed it quickly into the vegetable drawer and then grabbed two beers.

  I turned around to find him standing right behind me. Shit. How long had he been there? Had he seen anything?

  “Here you go,” I said, offering him a beer with what I had to assume wasn’t the world’s most convincing smile. “Let’s go sit on the couch.”

  He didn’t move for a minute, studying me thoughtfully. Shit. He must’ve seen something.

  You don’t know that, Wonder Woman said calmly. It’s like playing poker—you’re bluffing. Don’t crack.

  “Don’t you want to sit down?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound desperate. Shade reached out, taking the beer. For an instant I thought he’d call me on it, but then he stepped back, holding out his arm, inviting me to go first. We’d just reached the living room when I heard the sound of a car pulling up.

  “That’s Hannah and Heath,” I said quickly. “Um, she’s not really going to like the fact that you’re here. You should go before she gets pissed.”

  “Answer one question,” Shade said quietly. “This thing you’re lying to me about—are you in danger?”

  “No,” I said firmly, shaking my head. “Callie just had a bad dream.”

  “She said something about her dad and keeping secrets. You freaked the fuck out and dropped the phone. That doesn’t sound like a bad dream to me.”

  The front door opened and Hannah stepped through, followed by her deputy. There was instant tension in the air as Heath took in the situation—obviously not a big fan of the Reapers.

  The feeling was mutual, and the two men stared each other down, two alpha dogs just poised to attack. I shared a look with Hannah, willing her to play along, even though I knew she was probably pissed to find a man here. We had a strict no-sleepovers policy. I was supposed to be babysitting the kids, not fucking around with some biker.

  “Did you have a good time?” I asked brightly, hoping any residual puffiness from the crying was gone.

  “Great time,” Heath said, his voice a lazy drawl. He wrapped an arm around Hannah possessively. “We appreciate you watching the girls.”

  “They were fantastic,” I said, my voice unnaturally perky. “And Shade was just heading out, weren’t you?”

  I turned to him, begging with my eyes. Leave. Just leave. Don’t drag Heath Andrews into this.

  “Sure,” he said, standing. He walked over and pulled me into his arms for a long, slow kiss that probably looked sexy as hell. I felt the coiled tension in his arms, though, and when his ton
gue plunged deep into my mouth it was more threat than caress. Hannah coughed behind us and I could practically feel the anger coming off her in waves.

  Shade ended the kiss, dropping his mouth to my ear.

  “I’m not dropping this,” he whispered. “You need to tell me what happened here.”

  “There’s nothing to tell,” I whispered back. “Just go. Leave me alone.”

  He pulled away, raising a finger and running it along the side of my cheek, down my neck and into my cleavage. The gesture might’ve been flirtatious, but his eyes were cold as ice.

  Then Shade turned and sauntered toward the door. When he reached Heath, the deputy didn’t step out of his way immediately. They shared another unreadable look before Heath moved closer to Hannah, wrapping an arm around her neck in a clear message of possession. Shade nodded toward the deputy then went outside, closing the door quietly behind him.

  The room fell silent. My stomach churned. I took a deep breath, praying I wouldn’t puke or something.

  “Did the girls do okay?” Hannah asked awkwardly. Heath studied me without speaking, his face thoughtful. Suspicious? I couldn’t tell.

  You’re probably being paranoid, Wonder Woman whispered. Play it through. You can do this.

  “Yeah, they were great,” I said. “So tell me all about it. Where did you guys go?”

  “I want to check on the kids first,” Hannah said pointedly, narrowing her eyes at me. “Come with me.”

  Way to be subtle, butthead. I nodded, smiling at Heath like a dumb bunny before following her into the girls’ room. Hannah’s body stilled as she realized Callie wasn’t in her bed. Turning on me, she shut the door.

  “She’s in your room,” I whispered quickly.

  Hannah’s mouth tightened.

  “No, wait—before you get all pissy, you need to listen to me and listen carefully. Not only that, you need to not freak out or show anything on your face when you go back out there and see Heath. You’re going to laugh or smile or whatever it takes to keep him happy because this is very, very important.”

  “What happened?” she whispered, and I could taste her sudden fear.

  “Callie found a bag of meth in the bathroom,” I replied. “She said that it was Randy’s, and that he’d told her it was a secret. She told me a bunch more stuff, too. Real bad stuff, Hannah. Shade and I were talking on the phone and he overheard some of it, so he came over, demanding answers. I managed to hide the drugs in the fridge—I’m about 90 percent sure he didn’t see anything. He’s suspicious as hell, though. I was trying to get rid of him when you got home.”

  My sister’s mouth dropped and she swallowed.

  “Oh my God…” she whispered. “I—”

  “We’re going to take care of it,” I said, reaching out to catch her shoulders, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “You and me. We always take care of things. The first step is getting rid of Heath. Then we can deal with Randy.”

  “I hate him. I hate that fucking asshole so much. How could he do this to his own kids? What if she’d decided to eat it or something? That could kill her.”

  “But it didn’t and it won’t. Now go out there and do what you have to do. Once he’s gone, we can figure out our next step.”

  Hannah took a deep breath and nodded. We walked out of the bedroom and I stopped, frozen. Heath Andrews was standing in front of the open fridge. He glanced over toward us.

  “I was looking for something to drink,” he said, pulling out a beer. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all,” Hannah said quickly, her voice almost hysterical. She started toward him, trying to smile. I couldn’t breathe—my chest felt tight. Had he seen what was in there?

  If he had, I’d take the fall. I couldn’t let Hannah get in trouble for this. Trevor had lied his ass off back in Missoula, making me out to be the mastermind behind his crimes. If they came for us, I’d lie, too. I’d say the drugs were mine and make damned sure they believed me.

  Going back to jail would be a small price to pay to keep the girls out of foster care.

  Heath came back into the living room, taking a drink of his beer.

  “I think I’ll head to bed—give you guys some privacy,” I said, catching Hannah’s eye and glancing toward the couch. Hopefully she’d get the hint and find some way to distract him.

  Heath looked between us, his eyes speculative.

  Fuck.

  I really, really wanted to drop this one in Future Me’s lap, but for once that wasn’t going to cut it. Hannah and I were going to have to figure something out, and figure it out fast.

  In the bedroom, Callie was sleeping soundly, her small thumb tucked into her mouth. She gave soft, snuffly snores. She’d worn herself out crying, poor baby. I’d do anything for her. Anything at all. We’d get her through this. I didn’t care what I had to do, who I had to hurt. She and the twins were all that mattered.

  After about twenty minutes, I heard the front door open and then close again, followed by the sound of a car pulling away. Slipping out of the bedroom, I went to find Hannah standing with her back to the front door, as if trying to hold out the world.

  “Tell me everything,” she said, her eyes haunted.

  Two hours later we sat next to each other, leaning back against the couch. First I’d explained everything to her, and then we’d torn the trailer apart. In the process we’d collected another baggie of meth, some pot, three pipes, and fifty bucks in cash. Now Randy’s stash sat in front of us on the battered coffee table like an accusation.

  “I did this,” Hannah said, rubbing her temples despairingly. “I did this to us.”

  “No, Randy did it.”

  “I fell in love with him, though. And then I stayed with him, even when I started to suspect about the drugs. There were rumors. I just didn’t want to hear them, just like I didn’t want to hear about him cheating on me.”

  “Well, at least you were alert enough to notice the rumors,” I told her, feeling utterly exhausted and wrung out. “I was oblivious with Trevor. I mean, I knew he was drinking a lot, but I honestly didn’t figure out the rest until the defense attorney told me.”

  “It’s one thing to be stupid and screw yourself over, but to expose your kids? I’m a mother. I can’t afford mistakes like this, Mandy. What are we going to do? That is a shitload of drugs, and meth is poisonous. The girls could’ve died. How will we ever know if the place is safe again?”

  I reached down, catching her hand and giving it a squeeze.

  “It is what it is,” I said steadily. “So don’t waste time beating yourself up. We have to focus on the next step.”

  “We need to leave town,” Hannah said abruptly.

  “What? I thought maybe we could rent an apartment—”

  “No,” she continued. “You don’t know Randy. In his mind, he owns these kids and he owns me. He won’t leave us alone. He’ll never leave us alone. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. Not if I have to worry about them finding poison in their bedroom. The girls will never be safe in Violetta.”

  “What about Heath?” I asked, my voice low. “Maybe he could help you.”

  She shook her head slowly. “Randy has rights, you know. And his family doesn’t have much money, but they’ve lived in this town for a hundred years. His parents may like me fine, but at the end of the day I’m just white trash who slept with their son. And Heath? Sure, he’s a nice guy… I’m not the kind of girl someone like him sticks with, though, and you know it. Neither of us are.”

  She held my gaze steadily and I swallowed, because she was right. We weren’t the kind of girls who had happy endings. We were the kind of girls who worked shit jobs to support shit men, and when we got arrested, everyone talked about how they’d seen it coming.

  “Okay. With the five hundred bucks Bone is holding onto for me, I have six hundred and twenty total. I won’t get another check until next week, but if I tell him it’s a family emergency, he might cash me out early. Sara can give us a ride to Cr
anston and we can catch a bus from there. We’re strong, Hannah. We’ve survived worse.”

  “You can’t come with us,” she said. “It’s a violation of your probation.”

  “Okay, then you and the kids go. Maybe Sara will let me crash with her. Or Bone. I’ll finish probation and then join you. That might be better anyway— I can keep working and send you money.”

  She rolled her head toward me, sighing.

  “This is really happening, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it’s really happening. Unless…” I swallowed, trying to wrap my head around it. “Unless you want to try talking to Heath, Hannah. Maybe you’re wrong. He might be willing to help. He likes you a lot.”

  “I like him a lot, too,” she said slowly, and from the pain in her eyes I knew it was true. “I might even love him. But I don’t know him well enough to be sure, and once we talk to him then it’s all on the record. He’s a straight and narrow kind of guy. Takes his job seriously. Even if he believes us, I don’t know if the prosecutor would take our side. I could lose the girls.”

  I sighed, my head starting to throb.

  “Not only that, you’d probably have to testify against Randy,” I admitted. “Assuming they believed you. Which they totally should, but…you’re right. We’re not the kind of girls people listen to.”

  “I wouldn’t mind testifying against Randy,” she said quietly. “But they’d ask me about the others, too, and they threatened Callie. I suppose we could try the Reapers. Do you think Shade would help you?”

  “I have no idea,” I replied. “I mean, he helped with Rebel. Sort of. But he also said he didn’t do it because of me—it was about the fact that Rebel tried to cheat the club. I’m not sure this falls into the same category.”

  “I can’t think anymore,” Hannah said softly. “I think we need to sleep on this. Maybe tomorrow we’ll have a better idea of what to do.”