Memories: A Husband to RememberNew Year's Daddy (Hqn)

by Jackson, Lisa

  “So that’s what this is all about.”

  “No,” he said quietly. “I’m not just looking for a new mother for my son. If that were the case, there are several women in Seattle who would have gladly done the honors.” He looked away from her and she experienced a jab of jealousy for these faceless women who wanted him. “But they were more interested in becoming Mrs. Travis Keegan than being a companion to me or my son. I had the feeling that each of them had the same agenda—their first act as my wife would be to banish Bryan to a boarding school as far away as possible.”

  Had they slept with him? Shared his bed? Said they loved him? Had he promised them marriage? Told them he cared? “Then they were fools. Bryan’s a great kid.”

  “You really think so?”

  “I know so. He just needs some of his rough edges filed down, but it will all come in time.” Reaching in the straw for her jeans, she added, “Look, I’d better go inside. If Amy wakes up—”

  “You’re ducking the issue.”

  Flinging her sweater over her head, she said, “I just can’t make a quick decision like that. I mean, I never thought I’d marry again….”

  “Because you were still married to Saint Hank.”

  The accusation stung, but it was true. Years before, she’d believed that she would marry Hank, have his children, experience the joys and worries of parenthood, look forward to their grandchildren and eventually grow old holding each other’s hands. Emotion clogged her throat. “When I took those vows, I was serious.”

  “But they ended with the ‘till death do us part’ bit.” There was a trace of anger in his voice and he glared at her with hard, unforgiving eyes.

  “I know. I’ve finally accepted it.” She stuffed her bra into the back pocket of her jeans. “But it’s taken a while. A lot longer than it should have.” Only recently had the stones in her heart lightened. Only recently could she think of Hank’s death and not be angry. “Come on,” she said, shaking her hair loose, “I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and you can try and persuade me that becoming the next Mrs. Travis Keegan is the sane, sensible and only path to take.”

  She started for the door but he tackled her and drew her down to the floor with him once more. “All right, Ronni, we’ll play this game your way,” he said, his nose touching hers, his eyes, bright and intense as he stared at her. “But I’m warning you, I’m not a patient man.”

  “Funny you should bring up your lack of that particular virtue,” she replied with a giggle, “because I’ve been accused of the same thing.”

  “See. We’re perfect for each other.”

  “Convince me.”

  “Gladly,” he whispered and kissed her until the breath was trapped in her lungs and the world began to spin again.

  *

  “You’re kidding!” Bryan said as he walked from one side of the room to the other. He was without crutches now and his gait was even and strong, with no hint of any lingering damage. The doctor had told him to take it easy, no strenuous running or jumping or skiing for a few weeks, but he was healing well and it looked as if he wasn’t going to need surgery. He threw his hat onto a sofa in the living room and glowered at his father. “I’m not going to any dumb little Christmas pageant, Dad.”

  “Amy’s expecting you,” Travis said and swallowed a smile. Recently Bryan had begun to call him Dad again, though when it had first occurred eluded him.

  “Geez!” Bryan flung one hand into the air in disgust. “Why’d she have to invite me?” he wondered aloud.

  “Because she likes you.”

  “She’s a runty little kid.”

  “Doesn’t matter. She thinks you’re great.”

  Bryan rolled his eyes and sighed theatrically. “She thinks everyone’s great and I’m tired of her hanging around bothering me. Why is it we spend so much time with them, anyway?”

  “Because I like her mother. And I like Amy and Ronni’s going to be over here any minute, so try and paste a smile on your face, okay?”

  He’d no sooner said the words than Ronni’s van pulled into the driveway. She’d worked all day at the mountain and her face was still flushed from the cold as she entered the room without her daughter. Travis spun Ronni under the mistletoe, then as she giggled, kissed her lightly on the lips.

  Bryan, witnessing his father’s affection, looked out the window and glowered. He was talking about moving to France again and Travis figured he’d have to put up with the boy’s insecurities and worries for a while longer. No doubt Bryan would be upset until he started school and then, hopefully, once he realized that he would be accepted and find friends, all this angst would abate.

  “Look at you,” Ronni said a trifle breathlessly when Travis set her on her feet. She was staring at Bryan as she stepped into the living room and tossed her purse onto the hearth. “No more crutches.”

  “Nearly a clean bill of health,” Travis said.

  “Yeah, but no basketball, skateboarding or skiing,” Bryan grumbled.

  “All in good time.”

  He made a sound of disgust as if he believed he’d never get to do anything the least bit fun again.

  “So how were things on the mountain today?” Travis asked.

  “Relatively calm considering it’s Christmas break,” she replied. “A few injuries, but not many, thank heavens.”

  Another deprecating noise from Bryan’s direction.

  Ronni ignored the boy’s foul mood. “I wanted to make sure you know how to get to the church. The pageant’s at seven, but I have to be there earlier since I’m in charge of the angel choir and getting the twins into their costumes.”

  “And Shelly? Vic seems to think she wouldn’t miss this if she were on her death bed.”

  “She’s coming. But just for the performance. Supposedly she’s forgoing the party afterward that the parson always throws. She’s even going to avoid the bazaar.” Ronni’s eyes clouded. “I hope she’ll be all right.” Forcing a smile, she attempted to hide the fact that she was worried sick. Shelly was still spotting lightly and Dr. Sprick was considering hospitalizing her.

  Declining a soda or cup of coffee, Ronni explained that she had to pick up Amy who was playing over at her friend Katie’s house this afternoon. “I’ll see you at the church,” she said as the doorbell rang and she ducked around the edge of the fireplace to retrieve her bag.

  Travis opened the door and found Taffy LeMar, dressed in a business suit and high heels, smiling brightly as she stood on the porch. “Hi,” she said to Travis and handed him a basket filled with sprigs of holly, two fluted glasses and a bottle of expensive champagne decorated with a wide gold ribbon. “From the firm. Just a thank-you for doing business with Mountain West Realty.” A dimple creased her cheek. “And from me, too, I guess. I’m sorry I didn’t deliver this earlier, but I’ve been out of town on business and…well, now I’m back.” She forced the basket into Travis’s hand.

  “Thanks. This wasn’t necessary.”

  “Of course it was,” she said, touching his arm familiarly while her gaze, all blue and shiny, stared up at him. She walked into the entry hall without an invitation, and whether she realized it or not, stopped beneath the chandelier decorated with ribboned pieces of mistletoe. “This is a small town, Travis, and we’re glad for new neighbors—especially someone who might bring his business here and revive a town that was so timber-dependent. Dear God, this house is so beautiful. I knew you could—” Her words clipped off when her gaze slid around the room to land squarely on Ronni still standing near the fireplace. “Veronica!”

  Ronni experienced a hard pang of jealousy.

  Color washed up Taffy’s neck. “I didn’t expect to find you…but then you’re neighbors, aren’t you?” Recovering quickly, she said, “I tried to reach you, you know, to tell you about the impending sale, but with my schedule and yours, we never seemed to connect.”

  “It’s all right,” Ronni replied, gritting her teeth. Looking over Taffy’s shoulder, she noticed Travis, still sta
nding in the raised entryway, his expression drawing into a thoughtful frown.

  “But I know how much the place meant, er, means to you,” Taffy said, obviously flustered. “And I figured it was impossible for you to come up with a down payment on a place this size…oh, God…” She was digging herself a deeper and deeper grave and seemed to realize it. “Well… Oh! You must be Travis’s son!” Apparently anxious to change the subject, she crossed the living room and clasped Bryan’s hand between both of hers. “Don’t you just love it here?”

  “I hate it,” he said simply.

  “Oh, well, I don’t see why. It’s so gorgeous by the lake, and inside, well, the decorations are fabulous.”

  “Ronni helped,” Travis explained. He crossed the room and stood next to Ronni.

  “Did you?” Taffy seemed to notice Ronni with new, calculating eyes. “Been here often?”

  “Not as often as I’d like,” Travis said, draping a familiar and possessive arm over Ronni’s shoulders.

  “Oh, well, I see…good. Since you’re neighbors and all. How perfect.” She leveled a surprised look at Ronni. “It’s good you’re finally getting out and seeing people. I was concerned, well, we all were, that you’d never snap out of mourning.”

  “It just took time,” Ronni said evenly. “It was hard.”

  Travis’s arm tightened around her as if offering her silent strength and she resisted the urge to sag against him.

  “Well, merry Christmas to you all,” Taffy said, making a hasty exit, her heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floors. “And a happy New Year, as well.”

  “And good riddance,” Travis muttered under his breath once she’d closed the door behind her. “That woman’s a barracuda.”

  “She seemed to think you liked her.”

  “I did business with her. Period.”

  “You wanted to buy this place?” Bryan asked, eyeing Ronni suspiciously. “Why?”

  “Sentimental reasons.”

  “Such as?” Travis prompted, his hand dropping to his side.

  “Growing up here in the caretaker’s house, I guess.” She hoisted the strap of her purse to her shoulder. “I always felt at home here and I loved this old house, not that I was in it much, but it seemed special. I…well, it was silly really, because I never could afford it, but I always thought the estate would make a great bed-and-breakfast inn for skiers in the winter and sailboarders or hikers in the summer. Just over the mountain in Hood River, a town on the Columbia River, the sailboarders come by in droves. I thought Shelly and I could run the place and her family could fix up and live in the caretaker’s house. It’s empty now, but wouldn’t take much…” Suddenly embarrassed, she added, “Oh, well, just a pipe dream.”

  “That I spoiled.”

  “It could never have happened. Really. It’s better that I let it go and deal with reality, which is—” she checked her watch “—that I don’t have much time before I have to pick up Amy. So, I’ll see you at the church and don’t forget there’s a party and bazaar after the pageant.”

  “Whoop-de-do,” Bryan muttered.

  “We’ll be there.” Travis walked her out to the van and as she started to climb in, he caught hold of her arm. “It’s been a few days, Ronni,” he reminded her. “Have you given any thought to getting married again?”

  She laughed. “If it makes you feel any better, it keeps me awake nights.”

  His sexy, crooked grin slid into place. “I’d like to think I keep you awake nights.” His gaze slid to her lips. “You seem to have that affect on me.”

  She grinned and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Dreamer.”

  “Am I?” Gathering her into his arms, he kissed her. Instantly her blood was on fire, and desire, that beast that had slumbered within her for nearly four long years, was restless and ready to be awakened with just a touch, a smile or a sidelong glance.

  When he lifted his head, she waited to hear the words, the declaration of his love, the vow that he couldn’t live without her, but he just stared at her and gave her a quick little kiss to her forehead. “I can’t wait forever,” he warned her as she climbed into her van.

  She rolled down the window. “Three days is not forever.”

  “Seems that way to me.” He touched her face with his fingers and she started the engine. Could she really marry him? Trust him to learn to love her? Maybe a good marriage wasn’t necessarily founded on love, but on mutual respect, on a shared sense of humor and compassion, on like ideas. Maybe the hot-as-a-branding-iron kind of passion was close enough to true love. No way, she told herself. Ever since she was a teenager, she’d known the difference between love and lust, and what she felt for Travis was a blending of the two. True she wanted him physically and emotionally, but did she love him? Would she throw down her life for his? Walk through fire to be with him? Accept his son as her own? Have children and grow old with him? Yes! Yes! Yes!

  But did he love her or did he want to marry her to add some stability in his life? Did he think of her as a stepmother to Bryan, a woman who would become an instant wife and mother? He now knew she’d hoped to buy the old lodge, maybe he thought living there would be an enticement. Maybe she was silly to hope to hear those magic words of love.

  As she drove across town, maneuvering through the streets by rote, the nagging questions racing through her mind, she knew she’d come to a crossroads in her life and she couldn’t take both paths without being ripped in two. What she’d wanted all her life was now in question. The past was the trail she’d already taken and to her left was a path she’d started down, a road of loneliness and devotion to a dear, dead husband; the second path stretched to the right and it was a brighter future, one with Travis and his son.

  Without realizing what she was doing, she headed east and through gates on the outskirts of the city that opened to the cemetery. She parked, letting the engine idle and cool, then walked up the hill to a grassy spot with a simple headstone. Beloved Husband and Father, she read and felt hot tears well in her eyes. A blast of icy wind whipped around her and blew her hair into her eyes. “I loved you,” she said to the plot where her husband lay buried. “I loved you with all my heart. I never wanted to let go. Never. But it’s time, Hank. Way past time, and I think…no, I know that I’ve got to get on with my life, with the living part.”

  She waited, almost as if expecting an answer, but the only noise was the rush of the wind that blew through the surrounding trees. A few snowflakes swirled in the air and she shivered. “I’ll never forget and you’ll always be Amy’s father, but there’s another man, one I think I might be able to love and…and he wants to marry me.” She sighed and lifted her face to the cloud-covered sky, as if she could glimpse heaven through the thick curtains. “I’m going to do it.” Her fingers, frozen and bare, curled into determined fists. “By God,” she vowed, “I’m going to marry Travis Keegan.”

  *

  The pageant was a delightful fiasco. The angel choir sang the wrong song and the boy who played Joseph kept forgetting his lines. Fortunately, the girl who played Mary prompted him and when it was all over, the audience was smiling, the kids were relieved and they all celebrated at the party and bazaar.

  Shelly managed to sit through the performance, but Vic whisked her and the twins away before she could get bogged down in any of the festivities. Amy was in her element, laughing and talking, still wearing the costume that she adored. She drank cup after cup of cranberry punch that drizzled down the white folds of her angel outfit and still managed to put away two slices of rum cake. By the time the party was over, she was pooped and Bryan was trying hard to look bored out of his mind.

  “Let’s go home,” Ronni suggested.

  “But you said we’d buy a star for the top of the tree.” Amy’s face, so sweet only seconds before, clouded over and her chin jutted stubbornly. “Or an angel or—”

  “We will—”

  “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve,” Amy said.

  “You’re right. Let’s look
through the bins and see what we can find.” She glanced up at Travis who was smothering a smile. “You’ve heard of the angel Gabriel, well you just met the angel Groucho.”

  Travis laughed and they followed Amy past tables laden with everything from gooseberry pies to quilted Advent calendars. Some of the local crafts were so intricate that Ronni made a mental note of them and thought they would make wonderful additions to her next year’s winter catalog. She knew most of the local artists and craftsmen and women already but there were a few new and interesting pieces, created by artisans she had yet to meet.

  “Here it is!” Amy found a table laden with handcrafted ornaments and chose an angel made of a cone, netting, a hand-painted doll’s head and gossamer wings. Pearly white beads and a loop of gold ribbon caused the angel’s dress to glimmer and sparkle.

  “Isn’t she beautiful?” Amy breathed, holding the decoration as if it were made of spun gold.

  “Gorgeous.”

  “Can we get her, Mommy?”

  Ronni winced as she read the price tag, but realizing that half the proceeds went to the church, she agreed to make the purchase. “I think we’d better get out of here before we go broke,” she said to Travis. “Oh, wait. I think you should meet some people who have kids about Bryan’s age.”

  “No way,” Bryan insisted, but Ronni wouldn’t take no for an answer and within minutes she’d introduced Travis to the Carters and their son, Jake, and the Hendersons with their daughters, Becca and Sherrie. Bryan stared at the floor as if he found the yellowed linoleum fascinating, especially when he had to say something to the Henderson girls, but Travis and Ronni lingered, forcing the kids to interact.

  Jake was interested in horses, skiing and basketball players and talked without seeming to take a break. The girls told him what to expect from his teachers at school. Bryan was nearly mute, answering in monosyllables, eyes nailed to the floor, but, Ronni figured, it was a start, a little inroad in that swamp of teenage relationships. The preacher’s daughter, Elizabeth, joined them and encouraged Bryan to join their youth group, which met every Wednesday night and combined Bible study with fun, usually in the form of pizza parties, dances and trips skiing in the winter and swimming in the summer.