Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  I don’t answer him right away, instead looking down at my bed, satisfied with my fresh sheets. Then I glance over to the ones I pulled off the bed and frown, wondering whether it would be too much to burn them? Yeah, maybe. I'll donate them instead, after I've washed them, of course. No one needs to be subjected to dirty sheets.

  "I promise I will call you or one of the numbers you added to my phone. I'll be fine, though. I just want to rest, Colby. I need some time to think about things and process."

  I meet his gaze with my tear-filled one. Stupid goddamn hormones are already making me all emotional. One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that the ball of rage within me seems to have subsided, and is now buried under everything, as if waiting for the right time to resurface.

  Colby pulls me into his arms, giving me one last hug before leaving me to my empty room. Frannie must have had a class, which is why she left in such a hurry when I got here. Either that or she knew I would tear her apart when I caught her making out with someone who had clearly already shown an interest in me. Obviously she doesn’t feel the ‘you don’t poach another girl’s guy’ rule applies to her.

  I lay down on my bed and sigh, wondering what the hell I'm going to do.

  In a little over a week, I will finally have access to my trust. I should probably call Aunt Dee and see how she's doing, but in light of the recent circumstances, I know that I can't. If she finds out I'm pregnant, then she'll want to know about the father, when it happened, and all other kinds of things I’m not ready to talk about, especially since I just sent one of the potential fathers packing.

  I really don’t know what to do about Kaden right now. I care about him, I really fucking do as impossible as it may seem after everything that’s happened, but even though I know the whole thing was probably planned by Frannie, it still hurts so goddamn much.

  It reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother after I found Drew had kissed another girl at the end of year party. My mother held me while I cried my eyes out. I learned later that he did it because he wanted to show me how it felt for him every time I kissed Seth. But I just couldn't do it, couldn’t choose only one of them. I wanted them both and I couldn't breathe at the thought of not being with either of them, so when I found Drew like that, it completely destroyed me.

  My mother held me for a long time, and when I asked her why it hurt so much, she simply said, 'It hurts because you love him. Love makes everything hurt, but it can be good too.'

  Then later, when I claimed I would choose Seth over Drew if he made me choose, it seemed to make Drew realize that if he forced the issue, things wouldn’t go in his favor.

  He tried, but then his jealousy became too much. He thought my choice would be different that time, because I was claimed by both of them. But to his surprise, I did as I once promised, and picked Seth over him, vowing to never give Drew another chance after that. Instead I tried to give my heart to Seth completely and ignore the true mate connection, even though those feelings never went away.

  I was scared and didn't want to end up hurt again, yet here I am.

  My eyes close, but the tears continue to fall slowly. It's so close to the anniversary of Seth’s death and I find myself missing him more than ever. Wondering what our child could have been like? Asking myself why I never gave in and gave him the baby he wanted? At least if I had, I would have a piece of him to carry with me forever.

  Finally, I let myself drift off to sleep, hoping desperately that the next few days go by without incident because I honestly don't know how much more I can take.

  Before I know it, I’m awake, roused by an incessant banging sound in my head. I open my eyes and see it’s only dawn, the sun just starting to rise. That’s when I realize the banging noise is actually someone knocking on my door. Who the hell would be here this early in the morning?

  I groan and get to my feet, looking over at Frannie's bed. Noticing it’s empty, I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m just glad I won’t have to deal with her shit first thing in the morning.

  I'm not sure what I'm expecting when I open my door, but it sure wasn't Dwayne, standing there with a massive smile on his face. "Hey, Katie. Sorry to wake you, but you were going to be late for class if I waited any longer.”

  "Uh, sorry what?" Late for class? What class? My hazy brain is having trouble putting my thoughts together so soon after being thrown from a dreamless sleep.

  "You have a chemistry class this morning and I’m your chaperone. I'm not to leave your side unless Kyle, Bas, or Colby is with you."

  What?

  "And who told you to do that?" I ask suspiciously, wondering whether it was Colby or Kaden who issued the order. Thankfully, though, the longer we talk, the more my brain is starting to wake up.

  "Colby did. He said we had to protect our only female pack member."

  "Of course he did," I mutter under my breath. To Dwayne, though, I offer a friendly smile. "Alright then. As you can tell, I’m not exactly ready to go just yet. But if you want to come in and wait while I get ready, you’re more than welcome to. I kinda forgot I had a class first thing this morning and didn’t set an alarm," I explain when he cocks his head in confusion. A bright smile replaces it as he steps into my room.

  "Colby did say you might have forgotten. Which is why I’m here earlier than normal. Oh, and he also wanted me to give you this." He holds a small paper bag to me, which I take curiously. When I open it, tears begin to well in my eyes. Inside are anti-nausea pills, bottles of ginger ale and saltines. Enough to last me a week at least.

  "You okay, Katie? Colby just told us we were supposed to be extra careful with you because you were sick. Some human bug or something." Dwayne rambles on, looking unsure of how to handle a tearful female.

  "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I was just surprised by his thoughtfulness.” And also relieved that Colby covered for me, saying I was sick. I'm not sure how many of them know what I am, but even if they tried to question it, I could just say my inability to shift makes it possible for me to get sick.

  "Right, I'll be out in ten minutes or so, then we can go. Do you have the same class as me this morning?"

  He nods eagerly. "Yep, so does Kyle. Bas is in your next class after that, though, so he’ll be the one going with you to nutrition.”

  I smile at the level of enthusiasm coming from Dwayne. He must be younger than I originally thought. Either that, or he’s just never had something go wrong in life. He radiates such positivity, a sign he hasn’t experienced much hardship.

  Walking over to my small dresser, I pull out a change of clothes before making my way into the bathroom. But before I close the door behind me, I hesitate, realizing I should probably warn Dwayne. "Ah just a heads up, I have a roommate. Frannie. She wasn't here when I woke up, but just in case she comes back, you should probably know that she has her sights set on hooking up with someone from your frat. If she hits on you, feel free to tell her off. I won't be offended."

  He smirks at me, his eyes mischievous. "Oh trust me, I've encountered her before. Thanks for the warning, I don’t want her grubby hands touching any part of me."

  I nod and give him a smirk of my own, then close the bathroom door and start going about my morning routine. I shower faster than I thought possible, not wanting to miss another class, especially considering I slept the whole day away yesterday. As it is, I’m going to have to send out emails to my professors, explaining I was ill and asking for any assignments I may have missed so I don’t fall behind.

  As I’m getting ready, I hear my bedroom door open and close twice, leading me to believe Frannie came back at some point. And most likely, Dwayne decided to save himself by waiting out in the hall.

  So when I come out, I’m surprised to see Kyle and Dwayne, both laughing so hard that their eyes glisten with tears. Frannie is in the room as well, but she’s standing by her bed, half-dressed and looking absolutely stunned.

  I walk past Frannie without acknowledging her, trying not to focus on the fact she is on
ly wearing a bra and panties. She just can’t stop herself from stripping in front of people, can she? I am, however, quite curious as to what they said to shut her up. Maybe I could use it myself one day?

  The guys’ laughter dies downs to chuckles as I start packing my bag for class. I make sure I have everything I will need for the day, including the few assignments that are due. As an afterthought, I also put in a bottle of ginger ale, the anti-nausea pills and saltines.

  Once I’m done, I turn to my new guards. “I'm ready when you guys are."

  Frannie doesn’t say a word as we leave the room, but I can see her eyes are wide in shock and disappointment. Okay, now I really need to know what they did to cause that kind of reaction.

  "So what did I miss?" I ask as we make our way down the stairs.

  Dwayne chuckles as we reach the ground floor and step out onto the quad. “Are you sure you really want to know?” he asks in an ominous tone, but I detect a hint of laughter underneath it.

  Outside, the sun is rising, bathing the quad in early morning light. The few people who also have early classes are walking towards the same building we are, only unlike us, they look like mindless zombies as they move. I haven’t had a coffee yet, but surprisingly I find myself not needing one at the moment.

  Kyle chuckles and shoves Dwayne playfully. "Why do you always make things seem more sinister than they really are?” he asks with exasperation, turning to me with a grin. “Truth is, our whole frat knows who Frannie is. She likes to think she is the hottest thing on campus, but after she screwed with one of our brothers the first year she was here, she became persona non grata at the house. Even so, she still tries her fucking hardest to get in to the house when we have a party. It’s gotten to the point we now take bets at the start of the week as to whether she’ll be able to find a way to sneak in.

  “When she came into your room this morning, she immediately started stripping, and begin asking us questions about Kaden and Alex. We don’t know exactly what is going on between you and the two of them, only that Colby told us if either of them approached you in the next few days, we were to text him. Anyhow, she was asking about them and what they were looking for in a girl, things like that. So we decided to mess with her a little.”

  Dwayne looks me dead in the eye. “We told her they’re both gay.”

  "Wait, what?" I ask, pulling to a stop and looking up at them in disbelief.

  Dwayne laughs loud enough to draw the attention of a few people passing nearby. "Yep, we told her they were gayer than a unicorn. That Kyle and I had been personally invited to join in during one of their many lovemaking sessions. We explained to Frannie that while we declined their offer, they still gave us the chance to observe them and we were pleasantly surprised by the ferocity they exhibited.”

  My jaw drops at Dwayne’s words, and his smile grows wider by the second. I swing my gaze to Kyle, as if expecting him to say that Dwayne is just messing with me, but instead, he just nods and beams proudly at me.

  “Oh and we may have told her that you were gay too and that the only reason Kaden and Alex were so interested in you is because you were using each other to appear straight. We figured it might get her off your backs for a while. And judging by her shocked expression, she never would have entertained such a possibility if we hadn’t planted the seed in her mind. Maybe now she will stop giving you grief. Hopefully, because if she doesn't, Colby may have to take care of her."

  My eyes widen at what Dwayne just revealed, but decide to focus on that last bit first. "Why would Colby take care of her?"

  Kyle laughs at the sour expression on my face. "No, not take care of her like that. God, he would die before touching that woman, especially after the way she's treated you. No, he could have her kicked out of the college if he wanted."

  "Seriously?" How could Colby hold so much power?

  "Yeah, his step dad owns this school, along with a few others. Didn't you know that? That's why we have a frat house here for just us wolves. He made it a requirement that anyone who joins our frat or any of our brother fraternities is a wolf. Our houses are built with privacy in mind and we get a little more freedom because of what we are."

  How didn't I know that? Why didn’t Colby tell me any of this? Then again, we haven’t had much quality time together lately. Mainly, our time together now just consists of Emily watching us with a weird expression on her face.

  “Wow, I didn’t actually know that. I guess it makes sense, though. Do the humans ever interfere? Like if one of the frat members gets in trouble?”

  Dwayne shrugs as we begin making our way to the building where our first class is held. "Nah, not really. If you throw enough money at the humans, they’re happy to turn a blind eye. Besides, there are certain rules we must abide by in order to attend these schools. For example, we have to have an Alpha willing to sponsor us. Someone willing to attend with us and keep us all in line. It can be the Alpha of a local pack, or like in our case, where we have our actual Alpha since he is close to our age. But there are Alphas out there that are hundreds of years old and don’t wish to repeat something as tedious as high school or college, so it can sometimes be hard to find a sponsor.”

  Hundreds of years…

  “You two aren’t like a hundred years old or something, are you?” I ask, feeling slightly wary. It just never really occurred to me how long they could all live for, or that they could be much older than me. I just assumed they were around my age since they were attending college.

  Dwayne grins at my slightly stunned expression. “Don’t worry, we’re not old perves. Everyone in our pack is relatively young, apart from Colby. Was your mate not older than you? I assume he was at least fifty, right?”

  I frown at that. Seth was nowhere near fifty. “No, Seth was my age. And Drew was only a year older than me. Why would you assume Seth was over fifty?”

  Rather than answer me straight away, Kyle and Dwayne exchange a confused glance. “Drew?” Kyle finally asks me, a furrow in his brow.

  I sigh sadly. "Yeah, Drew is my true mate, but he disappeared after my other mate died. Well technically, I sent him away. Still, I guess a true mate isn't all it's cracked to be."

  Finally, we arrive at the building where class is held. As we make our way inside, Dwayne notices me dwelling on my thoughts. “The only reason we asked if your mate was over fifty is because it’s very rare to find your mate, whether true or otherwise, before then. Some of us live to be a hundred before we finally meet a mate. The fact that you found a mate and a true mate that were both younger than fifty is pretty extraordinary. Then again, if rumors are true, Kaden and Alex are also your mates. You must be pretty special to have found so many mates, especially ones who are all still in their prime.”

  “Ah, well Seth said he was my age. I guess there’s a chance he could have lied so as not to frighten me, but I doubt it.”

  We all pause at the door to my chemistry class to pull our papers out. Then we walk into the classroom, with me in the lead and Kyle and Dwayne trailing after me. I head to the front desk and turn my paper in to the professor, before turning and making my way to the back of the class.

  I sit down at one of the high tables in the back where all our supplies are already set up for the day.

  Everything in this class is relatively easy. I learned most of the basics in high school, so a lot of this is just a refresher. I wouldn’t even be taking this class, except it’s a requirement for my degree. This month we’re focusing on the atom, as well as the names and formulas for ionic compounds. Something I could do in my sleep.

  Dwayne and Kyle take the seats on either side of me, but remain quiet throughout the whole class, focusing instead on their work. Something which I’m grateful for. Even though I know this stuff like the back of my hand, I still want to ensure I don’t miss any details.

  Before I know it, the hour is over. The three of us pack up our notes and get to work cleaning up our station. I ignore the rest of the class, focusing on the task in
front of me. Once that’s done, I leave the room, with Kyle and Dwayne on my heels.

  We make our way to my psychology class in companionable silence. But when we get to the classroom, it’s to see a note tacked to the door, telling us our professor has canceled class for the day and will send out an email later with the material for today’s lesson.

  “Well, what do we do now?” Kyle asks, looking a little perplexed.

  I look at the time, wondering the same thing. “When does Sebastian finish class?”

  “He doesn’t have one right now actually. His only class today is nutrition, which he has with you. Actually, if you don’t mind, I could text him to meet up with us. We can all grab some coffee and maybe some breakfast too. I am fricking starving,” Dwayne says, rubbing his stomach as if that will somehow conceal the small grumbles coming from it that even I can hear.

  I smile at him, shaking my head with a laugh. Anyone would think he hasn’t eaten in years with the way his stomach is rumbling. “Sure, invite Sebastian and have him meet us at the café. I could go for a double choc muffin right about now,” I say, flushing when my stomach lets out a rumble of its own.

  Dwayne and Kyle just grin, and the former pulls out his phone and starts tapping away. After a moment, he tucks his phone away and looks back up at me with a smile. “Done. Now let’s get you some food before Colby texts us asking if you’ve eaten.”

  I laugh at that, but then stop in my tracks. “He hasn’t really been texting you for updates, has he? Because that's really stalkerish.”

  Kyle shrugs his shoulders, seeming to think nothing of it. “Of course he has. You may not understand it, Katie, but you’re important. And before you say that being in a relationship, or whatever is between you, Kaden and Alex, doesn’t make you important, that's not what I mean.”

  I close my mouth, because that is exactly what I had been about to say.