Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  There’s another knock at the door and Alex glances to it. “That will be Kaden.”

  I nod and step away from him so he can open the door for Kaden. He steps into the room, but like with Alex, he doesn’t get the chance to say a word before I pounce on him. I practically climb Kaden, my legs wrapping around him as grabs hold of my ass to hold me up.

  “Katie? What’s wrong?” His gaze darts to Alex, as if hoping he could explain my behavior.

  “I missed you both and I don’t want to spend another day with you guys dodging me or thinking I’m still mad at you.” Before Kaden can respond, I slam my lips to his, gripping his hair in my eagerness. The kiss is over before he can really respond. I unwrap my legs and slide down his body, which is sporting a pretty impressive erection. No, you can have your way with them later, Katie. You have other things to do today.

  I retreat a few steps so my back is against the wall, leaning against it to hide how shaky my legs are. “I’m sorry to both of you for reacting the way I did. I know you never meant to hurt me by claiming me, but it did hurt. I’m still dealing with what I lost a year ago. I wanted to come find you and explain how I felt, but then after what happened with Frannie, I doubted you even wanted me at all. I thought that you might have just wanted to claim me to prove you could or something like that.”

  They both look at me with open mouths, eyes wide with disbelief. I start to breathe hard, panic overwhelming me. What if that is exactly what they wanted? What if they wanted a powerful mate by their side just for show, rather than out of any kind of feelings towards me? I don’t exactly have the best track record with people I love. Oh god.

  Bile rises up my throat and I rush to the bathroom, shoving a half-dressed Sebastian out of my way and throw myself down in front of the toilet.

  “Shhh, Katie, I got you,” Sebastian murmurs, stroking my back soothingly as I lose everything in my stomach. So much for eating a healthy breakfast so I would have my strength for today’s appointment.

  “What the hell is going on?” Alex demands, having followed after me. He stands just inside the doorway with Kaden not far behind him. Judging by the way the two of them are glaring at me, they don’t like the way I’m leaning into Sebastian’s arms like he’s my mate.

  I sigh and pull away from Sebastian and get to my feet slowly, ignoring the offers of help from the three of them. I go to rinse my mouth out and proceed to brush my teeth.

  Sebastian resumes his task of putting a shirt on, seeming to know that I need a moment to gather myself. He won’t tell the others about my condition, not unless I ask him to. And while I have every intention of telling Kaden and Alex, I just know now is not the time for that.

  When I’m all cleaned up, I turn to Kaden and Alex with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that. I’ve been a little under the weather. My anxiety has been making it worse and my panic just got too much for me back there.”

  With that said, I step out of the bathroom, squeezing between them and heading over to sit on my bed. “Now, I’ve told you both I forgive you for everything, but I need to know if you forgive me too? If you still even want this mating, because I would rather know now then have you string me along.”

  Kaden is the one who answers me, but I can tell he speaks for both of them. “We want you more than anything in this world. But we too need to know some things, like what’s going on with Sebastian. Is he just a friend? Have you mated with him? Did you let him claim you?”

  I sigh and run a hand through my hair in frustration. Just then, Sebastian comes out of the bathroom carrying a brush, a few hair ties and my detangler spray. He gestures for me to move forward so he can sit behind me. He did this for me last night too, brushing and braiding my hair, and it felt absolutely magnificent.

  I consider whether I should for a moment before moving forward so he can settle in behind me. I relax as his arms go around me, squeezing gently before letting go and moving on to the task at hand. My long ass hair.

  Kaden and Alex watch with interest as Sebastian begins to play with my hair. I clear my throat, making them look at me while Sebastian does my hair. “Bas and I are together. Colby assigned me three guards to ensure I was well taken care of while I’ve been sick with this bug, and Bas and I bonded. It’s only been a few days, but it feels like I’ve known him a lifetime. And as for him claiming me, no that hasn’t happened. He understood that I wanted to sort out what happened between the three of us before I took that step. So I guess the question is, are the two of you capable of accepting what Bas means to me, or are you going to turn and walk out that door?”

  With each word I speak, their eyes widen further in disbelief. For a moment, they both look at a loss for how to answer me. But then a resolve fills their eyes, and I can feel determination and acceptance flowing through them both.

  “We know how rare it is to find a female wolf. If you care for him, who are we to interfere? As long as you want to be with us too, we don’t care who else you're with as long as you’re happy,” Alex says, his eyes on me. I have to fight not to sigh in contentment, both at his words and at the feel of what Sebastian is doing my hair. Why is having someone play with your hair so relaxing?

  Then Kaden drops to his knees before me, moving closer until he’s pressed between my legs. “I want you forever. You could be in relationships with a thousand men and I wouldn’t care, as long as I got to be with you. For you, we would do anything.”

  This time, the sigh does escape when Kaden presses his lips to mine gently. I should feel awkward having Sebastian behind me while Kaden kisses me and Alex watches, seeming enraptured, but I can’t find it in me to care.

  But before I get the chance to really enjoy the attention I’m being given, a loud banging sounds at the door.

  “That will be Colby.” I push Kaden away and get to my feet, running my hands over the braids on either side of my neck. Then I turn and kiss Sebastian on the cheek. “Thanks, babe. Will you be here when I get back?”

  He grins at me, completely ignoring Kaden and Alex, who both utter soft growls. “Of course I will. But if Frannie comes back, I’m out. I may like you, but even I won’t stick around and put myself through that kind of torture.” He shudders visibly and while I know he’s playing it up a little, I can see real fear in his eyes. To be honest, I don’t really blame him. She can be very tenacious.

  “Where are you and Colby going?” Kaden asks suspiciously.

  I debate on how to answer. I can’t lie to them, but now’s not the time to blurt out the truth either. “Colby is taking me to see his mother about this bug I have. I shouldn’t be so sick for this long, what with being a wolf and all.”

  Sebastian hides his grin and looks away from me, as if he knows he won’t be able to keep a straight face. I frown, a little peeved he would laugh at my lie. What else am I supposed to say? ‘Oh hey, guys. I’m pregnant and Colby is taking me to see just how many wolf pups I’m carrying?’ Yeah, I don’t think so.

  “Why didn’t you ask one of us to take you? We also have a doctor that comes to the pack in times of need. You could have been looked at ages ago.” Alex narrows his eyes at me, like he knows I’m not being entirely truthful.

  “Well, like I said, I was kind of avoiding you both after what happened between Kaden and Frannie. I had to work through some shit. So Colby volunteered to take me. I’m sure it’s just a bug that will pass, but it’ll be nice to have some reassurance.”

  Kaden visibly relaxes at my words. "So, you're not still angry about the Frannie incident?"

  I laugh at that, shaking my head at him. "Of course I'm still angry. But it’s not you I'm angry with. Frannie made it clear she would do anything to get with one of you guys and I should have known she set you up like that. I was just pretty emotional that day. But I will warn you right now, I won't let myself be walked on again. I care for you both and I'm your mate, but if either of you betray me like that for real, I will not hesitate to rip out your hearts."

  "Alex and I would never wi
lling hurt you, Katie. It freaking killed me that I caused you pain. Even after we marked you. I wished so badly we could go back and ask your permission before doing that, but the damage had already been done.”

  Alex nods in agreement. "Exactly what Kaden said. If we could travel in time, we'd punch our past selves for being such dicks to you. It's just that we both felt the connection when we first saw you walking across the quad in that cloak, holding your little basket of goodies like a reincarnation of Red Riding Hood. I tell you, I nearly jizzed my pants right then."

  I laugh, surprised by that. When my laughter finally settles, I smile at them, feeling a part of me relax. "Okay, so we're good then? I can go with Colby and the two of you aren't going to try and take me back to your cave, or throttle Bas for spending time with me, are you?" I tease, sticking out my tongue so they know I'm joking.

  Sebastian holds a hand to his chest, giving me a hurt look, but I know him well enough now to realize he’s just messing with me. “I am wounded you would think I couldn’t take these two.” He flicks his head in their direction. “Perhaps it’s best if you just go before you hurt my pride more than you already have.”

  I walk up to him, my hips swaying seductively. He watches intently, seeming completely enraptured. When I get to him, I run my hands up his chest, my nails raking over the fabric. “Don’t worry, Bas. Once I’ve taught you everything I know, there won’t be anyone in the world that can stop you.” Then I press my lips to his. He groans and grabs me by the hips, pulling me flush against him so I can feel just how happy he is to be with me.

  I pull away at the sound of insistent knocking on the door, signaling Colby is getting irritated waiting. I don’t know why he doesn’t just come inside. Why wait out in the hall?

  “Sorry, guys, but I really have to go. It’s a two-hour drive and I would like to get there and get this over with as quickly as possible.”

  "Can we see you tomorrow?" Alex asks hopefully as I make my way to the door.

  "Um, how about we meet for lunch? I have an early class but after that, we can hang." I say as I snag my bag I filled earlier with snacks and water. Shit, I didn't grab any ginger ale.

  Bas notices my glance at the fridge and my look of longing for something to settle my stomach. He offers me a quick smile and moves over to the little fridge. He pulls out one of the small bottles and brings it over to me.

  “Okay, we’ll meet back here just before lunch. But before you leave, there was actually another reason we came over. We decided to put together an impromptu Halloween party next Saturday and wanted to see if you would come. You don’t have to go as our date or anything,” Kaden adds quickly. “We’re just going to be having some drinks, hanging out, dancing, things like that. Plus, this will be the first time the frat house will be open to all. We thought you might like it.”

  As he rambles, I stuff the ginger ale in my already heavily packed bag. I give him a half hearted reply, distracted with the thoughts of what today will hold. “Sure, I don’t mind coming. Just tell me more about it tomorrow. Sorry, but I really have to go. You can let yourselves out."

  I give them a little wave before stepping out into the hall, and pulling the door closed behind me. When I turn, my body smacks straight into Colby. The look on his face goes from annoyance to surprise, but I don’t have time to explain. I just grab him by the hand and start dragging him after me. "Come on, before they decide to chase me."

  Colby grins at me. "I heard you made up. Now you just have to tell them about your little surprise," he teases, making me send a glare his way. He knows just how hard that conversation is going to be.

  Fixing things with them seemed like the right thing to do, and it’s nice having that resolved before I go see our baby for the first time. But now more than ever, I know I have to tell them.

  When I first entertained the thought of doing it all on my own, I felt like I could do it. But now, even without Kaden and Alex, there are others in my life I care about and who care about this baby already. And because of that, I know I’ll never be alone in this.

  I just hope dream Seth wasn’t right about me carrying a litter, because that would be a freaking nightmare. How would a wolf that can't shift even heal from that? No, one baby coming out of my vagina is more than enough, thank you very much. Other shifters out there are welcome to have multiples. Just not me.

  Tomorrow, I'll tell Kaden and Alex about our child, or God forbid, children. For now, though, I just need to keep myself focused on the health of my baby. Once I know exactly what I’m dealing with, then I can tell them. At least then I’ll have the facts, because I’m sure they’ll have plenty of questions.

  Colby and I step out into the sunlight. Looking across the parking lot, I can see his black all-terrain vehicle and I know there is no fucking way I am getting up into that thing without help.

  He chuckles at the look of annoyance I shoot him. “Don’t worry, Katie. I’ve got you.”

  When we reach the car, he takes my bag from my shoulder and places it on the floor of the passenger side. Then he turns around and grabs me by the hips. He lifts me up as if I weigh nothing and as I look at him I realize the door wasn’t as high up as I thought. It’s just the appearance of a monster truck that tricked me. It looks safe, though.

  “Is this really your car?” I ask, a thread of suspicion in my voice. Colby knows how paranoid I am about cars, especially small ones that are easily breakable. It seems awfully convenient that he just happens to have a vehicle that looks nigh invincible.

  He rubs a hand against the back of his neck, seeming embarrassed, before leaning over me to clip my seat belt in. “The car is my stepfather’s. He told me I could borrow it for today.”

  He closes the passenger door without another word and walks around to the driver’s side, climbing in with ease. Then he starts the car, and the roar of the engine almost makes me piss myself. Okay, now I’m back to wondering if this car is safe.

  Colby turns to me with a grin as he fiddles with the radio. "Right, it’s a two hour drive so if you change the radio station to some shitty upbeat pop music, I may just have to kill you and bury your body at my family home."

  I laugh at him as we take off down the street, my happiness feeling like something contagious. Today is already a good day. No Emily to make Colby act anything other than his usual self. I told my mates I forgave them. They know about Sebastian and have accepted his new place in my life.

  Now I only have to concentrate on this little bean growing in my belly. I just pray that my baby is okay. Everything else I can handle.

  After roughly two hours of driving, or in my case napping, we arrived in the town that Colby’s mother lives in. Colby woke me up a second ago with a grin on his face, telling me I was drooling all over his stepfather’s leather seats.

  “Sorry, I haven’t exactly been the best driving companion. I’m just really tired and the car lulled me to sleep.”

  Colby sighs in exasperation. "Katie, it’s normal for you to be tired. Your body is growing a whole other life. If you're tired, then you should sleep. You need to learn to trust your body.”

  “I know, but it’s hard. Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask…” As I trail off, he glances over at me with a questioning look, before focusing back on the road.

  As we drive through the small town, I notice that it looks like a tourist mecca for hunting. Then again, we are at the base of the mountains and one of the biggest state forests in the country. Hunting is to be expected, which makes me wonder why wolves choose to live here in the first place. Aren’t they worried about getting hurt by hunters?

  I shake my head and Colby chuckles, drawing me from my open staring. He seems to understand my concern, because he says, “Don’t worry, Katie. None of the pack members here are in danger of being hunted. My mother helped the humans pass a law several years ago preventing the hunting of wolves. Something about them being near extinction or something. Other animals, however, are permitted to be hunted, as long as it’s ope
n season. Now what was it you wanted to ask?”

  “I just, is it true that I could be carrying a litter, like more than one baby?” I get out on a rush, and it’s as if the question being out there makes the possibility even more real somehow.

  I hope he’ll instantly say no, but instead his hands clench the steering wheel. Then his gaze flashes to mine, concern and fear in his eyes.

  I sink back into the seat. “Well, fuck.”

  He takes one hand off the wheel and grabs my hand, gripping it tightly in what I assume is supposed to be a reassuring gesture, but my heart is hammering with panic. How the hell can I birth a fucking litter?

  “Look, we have no way of knowing how many children you could be carrying. Many wolves get pregnant with three to four, sometimes more depending on their power level. But in a lot of cases, not all the pups live. Let’s not panic about what if’s until we know for sure what we’re dealing with, okay?”

  My heart stops at his words, my free hand going to my stomach. Not all the pups live… That's what he said, right? Tears begin to well in my eyes. Yes, this pregnancy was unexpected and I am terrified of having more than one child, but I don’t want any of them to die either.

  Colby lets go of my hand while he takes a right turn and pulls into a small medical clinic. He parks the car and turns the engine off before looking over at me. The moment he sees my unshed tears, he unclips my seat belt and uses his strength to pull me into his lap, hugging me close. There’s not much room between me and the steering wheel, but I eagerly accept his comfort, feeling more scared than I’ve been in my entire life.

  He presses a kiss to my head before murmuring, “No matter what happens, I will be by your side every step of the way. I won’t let you lose anyone else.”

  I pull away, surprised by the depth of emotion in his voice. The look in his eyes is just as intense, like he’d burn the world to the ground just to stop me from feeling any pain. His gaze flicks to my lips and my heart starts racing.